Well I just broke up my 11 month relationship
- Thread starter novixz
- Start date
Well my boyfriend and I just hit the 11 month mark and we seem to be doing fine, we have fights (pretty tame ones at that, more just disagreements) like a normal couple but seem to recover quite easily. We have been living together for at least 3 months and no real problems have come from it, so all and all I'm very happy.
I just broke up with my third girlfriend (either I'm awesome with the ladies, as evidences by three relationships in four years, or terrible, as evidenced by each one being no more than a year), since we're both off at college now, since we both figured it would be impossible and kinda dumb to try and maintain a long-distance relationship across a four hour drive. I still like her a lot, though, but it would be stupid to try and hang on when both of us have school to be worrying about.
My girlfriend (first ever when I'm 20) broke up with me after about 2 - 2.5 months, then the next day she wanted me back. So, yep...
This is a very nice thread. I'm happy to see that there are still normal and good people around.
Well, I'm at the hopefull beggining of a new relationship. We went out 4 times. The first time was awesome, the second was amazing, I got to meet her family and they liked me, on the second and third times we hugged a lot and yeterday was the fourth - first shy kiss for the win. ^^ I feel really happy about this one, it looks very promising - wish me luck everybody! ^^
Well, I'm at the hopefull beggining of a new relationship. We went out 4 times. The first time was awesome, the second was amazing, I got to meet her family and they liked me, on the second and third times we hugged a lot and yeterday was the fourth - first shy kiss for the win. ^^ I feel really happy about this one, it looks very promising - wish me luck everybody! ^^
It has been assumed for years that the internet stifles interpersonal relationships, as with the internet comes anonymity. When anonymous, we are free to act like whoever we want, even if it isn't who we are.
I disagree with this assumption. I believe that reality is where we are the most fake. It may seem counter-intuitive, but physical reality forces us to put on that smile and tone down our personalities that we otherwise have on the inside. Anonymity frees us, it doesn't change us. That guy you know who seems okay in person, but as soon as you game with him, he turns into a douchebag online? If you really get to know him, you'll find out he really is that douchebag, he just doesn't want to deal with the real consequences of his actions. Around the people he is most comfortable with, he probably acts just as crazy as he does while anonymous.
What does this have to do with relationships?
8 years ago, my best friend thought I was lonely, so she set me up with a friend of hers. She probably didn't realize she was setting me up with the most important person in my life. I was 17. I'd never had a girlfriend before. This girl lived approximately 400 miles away from me. Back then, webcams weren't built into everything, so we had nothing to go off of except for our written words for almost a year. I immediately knew that I loved her.
For those first few months that most people spend moving far too fast and breaking up, we came to know each other based solely on force of personality.
When I finally saw her face, my heart melted. When I at last was able to hear her speak, I was choked with tears. At that point, it didn't matter what she sounded or looked like. It brought me closer to her somehow.
I won't lie -- Being miles apart with no money to close the gap and with no end in sight is psychological torture. It was through almost inhuman dedication and loyalty that we pulled through the hardest times of our relationship(trust me, any relationship spanning more than a few years has hard times).
It's funny; despite our distance from one another, we actually spent more time together than most do in a lifetime. Distance caused us to so value each others company that we honestly abandoned all else life had to offer. Together, we burned through many dozens of headsets over the years as we literally had them at all times. If I was home, I was in my room with my headset on, talking to her. Even the night wouldn't keep us apart -- as we slept, we left our computers on and our headsets on our ears, just so that we could hear one another breathe. To pretend that we were really in the same room, we happily endured the damage to our ears. It frighteningly occurs to me how insane I must have looked -- I valued pieces of plastic alone in my room as though they were a person.
Every time there was an internet hiccup, it was a nightmare. To most, it's a minor inconvenience, but to us, it was a reminder of how vulnerable our connection to one another was. All it would have taken was a bad storm. Where she lived, all the cable connections were run through the mountain by the same person. The internet was a commodity -- I was truly lucky to have even met her. Indeed, her parents considered cutting it off many times; It's not like our hermitage went unnoticed.
Really, that isn't the half of what we went through. Not even close. How it really was would be too unbelievable and too long to explain. Everyone could see, however, that this relationship wasn't healthy for either of us.
That brought it's own challenges as well. No one really wanted me to stay with her. I was supposedly missing out on what was to be the best years of my life. My relationship wasn't even real, they said. When we finally met, I'd see that she wasn't really who I thought she was. True physical problems would show me that we hadn't really experienced anything at all. She might decide that she wants a real boyfriend, I was told.
I had no moral support from anyone. Even to the day I was finally given the help I needed to get her here, it was done simply because they wanted to finally see if my waiting was worth anything.
Well, I will have been living with her for a year this October. Heh, we met in October as well, come to think of it. I'm sure anyone with the patience to read this far can probably also do the math; that means we waited for each other for 7 years.
So, what changed? What did life's true problems do to us? What did the weight of reality force us to accept? What sudden realizations did we make about each other that we'd been hiding?
Nothing. They were all wrong. The trials we went through in our 7 years made any issue we have had since I brought her here an absolute joke. Every fight has already happened. Every argument has already been made. Every lie and half truth has already been confessed to -- all before we ever met.
I feel like we have the perfect relationship -- and despite how hard as it was and how unhealthy as it was for the both of us, there is not a single doubt in my mind it was completely worth it.
I'd say we did pretty good for a couple of stupid, inexperienced teenagers.
To those of you that are in a similar situation that I found myself in, hopefully you see that it is possible. My best advice would be to always keep an open mind for any possible way to close the distance between you and your loved one. Always be ready to change your plan and never lose hope -- fate will see you through, one way or another.
Whatever happens, see it as a trial you must overcome. Every trial makes a true bond stronger. When you have gone through enough, nothing will seem hard anymore.
The same could be said for anyone struggling with relationship issues, so I wish you all the best. Hopefully my time writing this was well spent for someone.
I disagree with this assumption. I believe that reality is where we are the most fake. It may seem counter-intuitive, but physical reality forces us to put on that smile and tone down our personalities that we otherwise have on the inside. Anonymity frees us, it doesn't change us. That guy you know who seems okay in person, but as soon as you game with him, he turns into a douchebag online? If you really get to know him, you'll find out he really is that douchebag, he just doesn't want to deal with the real consequences of his actions. Around the people he is most comfortable with, he probably acts just as crazy as he does while anonymous.
What does this have to do with relationships?
8 years ago, my best friend thought I was lonely, so she set me up with a friend of hers. She probably didn't realize she was setting me up with the most important person in my life. I was 17. I'd never had a girlfriend before. This girl lived approximately 400 miles away from me. Back then, webcams weren't built into everything, so we had nothing to go off of except for our written words for almost a year. I immediately knew that I loved her.
For those first few months that most people spend moving far too fast and breaking up, we came to know each other based solely on force of personality.
When I finally saw her face, my heart melted. When I at last was able to hear her speak, I was choked with tears. At that point, it didn't matter what she sounded or looked like. It brought me closer to her somehow.
I won't lie -- Being miles apart with no money to close the gap and with no end in sight is psychological torture. It was through almost inhuman dedication and loyalty that we pulled through the hardest times of our relationship(trust me, any relationship spanning more than a few years has hard times).
It's funny; despite our distance from one another, we actually spent more time together than most do in a lifetime. Distance caused us to so value each others company that we honestly abandoned all else life had to offer. Together, we burned through many dozens of headsets over the years as we literally had them at all times. If I was home, I was in my room with my headset on, talking to her. Even the night wouldn't keep us apart -- as we slept, we left our computers on and our headsets on our ears, just so that we could hear one another breathe. To pretend that we were really in the same room, we happily endured the damage to our ears. It frighteningly occurs to me how insane I must have looked -- I valued pieces of plastic alone in my room as though they were a person.
Every time there was an internet hiccup, it was a nightmare. To most, it's a minor inconvenience, but to us, it was a reminder of how vulnerable our connection to one another was. All it would have taken was a bad storm. Where she lived, all the cable connections were run through the mountain by the same person. The internet was a commodity -- I was truly lucky to have even met her. Indeed, her parents considered cutting it off many times; It's not like our hermitage went unnoticed.
Really, that isn't the half of what we went through. Not even close. How it really was would be too unbelievable and too long to explain. Everyone could see, however, that this relationship wasn't healthy for either of us.
That brought it's own challenges as well. No one really wanted me to stay with her. I was supposedly missing out on what was to be the best years of my life. My relationship wasn't even real, they said. When we finally met, I'd see that she wasn't really who I thought she was. True physical problems would show me that we hadn't really experienced anything at all. She might decide that she wants a real boyfriend, I was told.
I had no moral support from anyone. Even to the day I was finally given the help I needed to get her here, it was done simply because they wanted to finally see if my waiting was worth anything.
Well, I will have been living with her for a year this October. Heh, we met in October as well, come to think of it. I'm sure anyone with the patience to read this far can probably also do the math; that means we waited for each other for 7 years.
So, what changed? What did life's true problems do to us? What did the weight of reality force us to accept? What sudden realizations did we make about each other that we'd been hiding?
Nothing. They were all wrong. The trials we went through in our 7 years made any issue we have had since I brought her here an absolute joke. Every fight has already happened. Every argument has already been made. Every lie and half truth has already been confessed to -- all before we ever met.
I feel like we have the perfect relationship -- and despite how hard as it was and how unhealthy as it was for the both of us, there is not a single doubt in my mind it was completely worth it.
I'd say we did pretty good for a couple of stupid, inexperienced teenagers.
To those of you that are in a similar situation that I found myself in, hopefully you see that it is possible. My best advice would be to always keep an open mind for any possible way to close the distance between you and your loved one. Always be ready to change your plan and never lose hope -- fate will see you through, one way or another.
Whatever happens, see it as a trial you must overcome. Every trial makes a true bond stronger. When you have gone through enough, nothing will seem hard anymore.
The same could be said for anyone struggling with relationship issues, so I wish you all the best. Hopefully my time writing this was well spent for someone.
Those were all things that were proven right or wrong in time, astrology has been around for 25,000 years and still isn't accepted as science.The Virgo said:
Also it's your brain filling things in after the fact. You meet them, find out that they are vigos and then your brain fills in the peaceful feelings
My relationships have been terrible. 100% of them ended up with them cheating on me. (Some even with the same person.)
I am in a relationship now, for a year. She hasn't cheated on me yet. Which is good. Although, she is incredibly stubborn, and quick to judge. If I do the slightest thing wrong, (this can be anything to something I said to small facial distortions) She comes down on me like a rock filled with lead.
She hasn't spoken to me in a week because I didn't talk for a while after sex. It's almost funny, because she is hurting herself far more than shes hurting me. It's almost as if shes trying to teach me something at her own expense. But yeah, I don't have a clue what to do. I can't talk to her, she just defuses the conversation. Impossible women.
So no, I'm not happy at the moment, but overall- I wouldn't change it for the world. Because I love her :3
I am in a relationship now, for a year. She hasn't cheated on me yet. Which is good. Although, she is incredibly stubborn, and quick to judge. If I do the slightest thing wrong, (this can be anything to something I said to small facial distortions) She comes down on me like a rock filled with lead.
She hasn't spoken to me in a week because I didn't talk for a while after sex. It's almost funny, because she is hurting herself far more than shes hurting me. It's almost as if shes trying to teach me something at her own expense. But yeah, I don't have a clue what to do. I can't talk to her, she just defuses the conversation. Impossible women.
So no, I'm not happy at the moment, but overall- I wouldn't change it for the world. Because I love her :3
Listed in priority order in terms of what I want, reverse order in terms of what's actually possible...
- I have a gal I've known for a long time, we love each other to bits, but she's not single and lives in New York.
- I have a gal I've known for a few years that I'm very affectionate towards, but she's gay- she says she's bi-romantic, while I'm ok with that I have no idea how to approach that.
- I have a gal I've only just met who's disappeared off on holiday for the next three weeks, but in the short time I've known her there's been good mutual attraction.
- I have a gal I've known for a long time, we love each other to bits, but she's not single and lives in New York.
- I have a gal I've known for a few years that I'm very affectionate towards, but she's gay- she says she's bi-romantic, while I'm ok with that I have no idea how to approach that.
- I have a gal I've only just met who's disappeared off on holiday for the next three weeks, but in the short time I've known her there's been good mutual attraction.
Priests don't care much, psychiatrists don't listen unless paid, and mothers tend to defend their gender, so any dude asking his mother for womanly advice will either get vague and cryptic bullshit or justify the lady's doings. Either way, not a single one of them are any help.Farther than stars said:
im happy now with my current girlfriend
Agreed. I've never looked back on a relationship and thought "Most of my resources and a good chunk of my youth frittered away on a girl who ended up banging someone else. I am a genius."archvile93 said:
