Recently came out of a 10 month relationship, my first (and yes, I was at a very advanced age to be in a first relationship, but hey, this is the Internet, socially awkward losers are ten a penny). It was all a very positive experience, but the sad fact was I just didn't love her, and I'm not convinced she loved me. She's a fantastic person, we remain friends, and indeed I'd say we function better as friends.
But it's interesting... by the later stages of the relationship I was thinking, 'I really need to be out of this, I miss single life, such as it was, I'm going to cherish my freedom, and I think I'll be okay on my own'. But now I'm out of the relationship I just find myself as lonely as I was before, except with added doubt as to whether I'll ever really be able to love anybody. I have many faults. But I'm also not going to settle for someone I don't love. I'm not sure if there actually exists, anywhere in the world, a woman good enough that I can love her, and yet willing to live with my faults ('good' in this case having nothing to do with looks and all to do with mind and personality).
Well... clearly I still have more growing to do. I was always a bit behind when it came to emotional development. I haven't given up hope yet!
EDIT: Oh, and I just wanted to say...
Zeekar said:
That's really nice to hear, thanks for sharing