Shadow the Hedgehog tested my love of the Sonic series to it's core.
"Hey cool a sonic game about Shadow, he was always sort of interesting"
"Oh this cutscene looks really good I bet this will be a go- wait is that an alien? Wait why would he instantly trust it? Wait, was, was that the plot?"
"Okay let's- wow, graphics took a real nosedive there, jesus am I made of rubber? Oh yeah guns, kinda don't see the- wait. wait wait wait wait. Why is this gun so friggin' huge? Seriously it's as big as my body. Why do I have stupid big gun when the soldiers have normal ones?"
"Man, the aliens done messed this city up good, I mean look at all the cars strewn about. Huh, I can get in the cars? Suppose I better see what it's like OH DEAR JESUS. It's like trying to steer a dizzy fat man on a steep cliff! And the car goes slower than I do ON FOOT. Why does no one who make these games realise I exist purely for speed!"
"Huh neat, a level based morality system, that's kind of inter- man, being good is hard, and so is being evil, screw it, run to the end of every level for neutral story"
"Alright! Fighting Sonic, this is kinda cool, well and buggy, and okay this is frustratingly difficult, okay hold still Sonic, SONIC, SERIOUSLY, NOT. COOL."
"Right, let's see what happens when Shadow takes his life in his own hands. Did, did he just, destroy earth? Did he even have a reason?"
"Sigh, suppose I better try the other storylines. Aw sweet! I unlocked a Katana for that!"
"Alright, fear the reaper you buggy AI! I'm wielding a sword of masamune-level retardedness! WHAT. NO! HOW DOES IT BREAK IN ONE SWING! ONE!"
"Screw it, I'm being good this time, screw Mr. Alien dude! Oh fuck, I have to deal with Charmy now? Oh god make him stop talking! And why is this level full of acid? Wait wasn't I in a city a second ago? Why am I in a mystic ruin? WHAT IS GOING ON?"
"Oh right, that whole Maria thing with the spaceship. So, is this like, a flashback or something? If it's a flashback, why does Shadow die thirty times because of god awful homing issues? And who decided that wall bounces over bottomless pits in a sonic game was a good idea?"
Never did get off that space station.