What is the source of your superpowers?

[AwesomeFerret]

I watched the whole Blackadder in a single sitting. I now fart laser beams and launch rockets from my nostrils, both projectiles made of a mix of Edmund's jokes and Baldrick's coffee. It causes my opponents to be in the stickiest situation since Mr Stick the sticky stick insect got stuck on a sticky bun.

 

[llew]

i died and beat death at his own game, so now i'm immortal... i can think of many reasons to say "well that sucks..."

 

[FalloutJack]

I wrote it down one day, and there it was.

 

[rancher of monsters]

My father went back in time and punched Isaac Newton in the face, so now I have the ability to make gravity my *****.

 

[xXAsherahXx]

I was struck by volcanic lightning on Titan. Titan, of course, has an atmosphere of methane, so while being struck, my genes and the gases in the atmosphere were fused together. Thus, I can now breathe methane, spit out fire, and shoot it from my hands and testicles. If I harness it enough, I can create volcanic lightning.

Realistic? Is any power?

 

[someonehairy-ish]

My father was a bearmanpig and my mother was a pigbearman. I AM MANBEARPIG.

 

[BristolBerserker]

Super soldier program, the occult, being a deity or some sort of weird STD.

 

[PureIrony]

I was granted demonic powers by The Cat in the Hat.

That dude is a sick ************.

 

[Hero in a half shell]

I was bitten by a radioactive JRPG, and now everything that happens to me is subject to the rule of cool, with me as the plucky hero. Awesome.

 

[aegix drakan_v1legacy]

My powers came to me through the power of my Imagination.

I pity any Noise I run into if I ever play the Reaper's Game (TWEWY). >: P

I was bitten by a radioactive JRPG, and now everything that happens to me is subject to the rule of cool, with me as the plucky hero. Awesome.

R-RADIOACTIVE JRPG?!?! *dies laughing* That's awesome.

 

[Biosophilogical]

I stumble upon a radioactive meteorite which somehow transfer that energy onto me (my power is a power armour like Iron Man but it's fuel by my own energy aka the meteorite radiation).

I was exposed to meteorite radiation ... in a round'a'bout way. You see, a symbiote thing was in the meteorite, and fused with my own body (which is how I was irradiated). So now I'm a super-shapeshifter[footnote]I can completely control my form, as opposed to stupid shapeshifting, which is like "I'm going to turn into a bear"[/footnote] (from the symbiote) with energy beam powers (from the radiation).

Now to go kill superman.

 

[FailWhaleIV]

My life got cancelled after Volume Six so I never found out.

 

[krection]

I defeated the Troll king. He will never trololol again.

 

[Magicman10893]

Struck by lightning, not once, not twice, but 27 times. Turns out I attract, absorb and control electricity. I've been playing too much InFAMOUS lately.

 

[Fiad]

An amulet passed down through the generations in my family, gives people in my bloodline the ability to change to any mammal when wearing it.

 

[xitel]

An extra organ that collects excess bioelectricity and stores it to be manipulated at my will. Because a) never seen it done before, and b) electricity powers are godly if used properly.

 

[Mauso88]

Alcohol gives me the ability to erase my own memories.

 

[MordinSolus]

Struck by lightning whilst plugging an ethernet cable into the wall. Now I have all of the information on the internet in my brain! And I can think at broadband speed.

Ultimate porn engine!

OT: I was struck by lightning, bitten by a radioactive spider, and then found Jesus. I shoot electrical spider webs, and anyone murders I commit are forgiven by God.

 

[Not-here-anymore]

Struck by lightning whilst plugging an ethernet cable into the wall. Now I have all of the information on the internet in my brain! And I can think at broadband speed.

Ultimate porn engine!

OT: I was struck by lightning, bitten by a radioactive spider, and then found Jesus. I shoot electrical spider webs, and anyone murders I commit are forgiven by God.

Meh. Once you've seen all of it, it gets dull. The downside to internet mind... Also, I have all of 4chan in my head, all of reddit, every comment on every image board ever... Oh, and have you ever caught a virus in your brain?
Also, I'm either getting cancelled or rebooted in the next month or so. I know this because I can see the emails the writers send to one another.