What (not) to do in life

[ChocoFace]

i'm just going to get straight to the point: if you were asked to make a list of lessons you learned in life, what would you put in there?

*Don't forget to zip your pants

*Don't eat the yellow snow

Or something like that.

 

[Avaholic03]

Using Jagermeister to get over a bad breakup is never a good idea. EVER.

 

[siffty]

do not point out that your new bag has halo printed on it in front of hot girl's

 

[Chewster]

Don't bother with so-called "credentials" when it comes to Internet arguments, because they mean zilcho and will generally impress no-one.

 

[Fraught]

[sub]Do NOT talk about /b/[/sub]

Don't ever consume something you don't know the origins of.

 

[ace_of_something]

Don't reach your hand into a room and shout 'give it to me.' You will get a handful of penis.

 

[NghtmaresXNoVaKaiNe]

In a streetfight, there are NO Rules. Remember that if you left yourself wide open, you probably got hit in the balls.

Never shoot your grandmother with nerf darts. They dissappear someplce magical...

Don't eat where you crap and don't crap where you eat.

Pepper spray hurts alot more when you're aware someone's about to spray you.

Tazer's are fun until someone breaks a nose.

Internet arguments are about as funny as a Disney movie death scene.

...

 

[Rhade]

Don't ever appear on Fox News for any reason.

 

[Rhade]

Don't reach your hand into a room and shout 'give it to me.' You will get a handful of penis.

You're not supposed to leave you hand there after you call, you just wait for something to be presented. Then close the door on it (possibly literally, though in joking, not-really-gonna'-hurt-you fashion) if you don't approve.

 

[ace_of_something]

Don't reach your hand into a room and shout 'give it to me.' You will get a handful of penis.

You're not supposed to leave you hand there after you call, you just wait for something to be presented. Then close the door on it (possibly literally, though in joking, not-really-gonna'-hurt-you fashion) if you don't approve.

See, I know that but some of the other jailors did not.

 

[DMonkey]

Never date a girl you met in a bar...

Never date a girl with "daddy issues" (ladies, don't date a guy with "mommy issues")...

Never lick a nicoteen patch... seriously, don't... it tastes as horrible as it sounds...

Don't do something that sounds real stupid just because it will get you high...

Never tell your girlfriend how pretty her sister is...

Never scratch your head with a power drill...

Never take advice on the internet... especially mine... when I see people fall into the same mistakes I have, it makes me feel less stupid...

 

[Dark Knifer]

Never try to ride a unicycle and juggle a jar of jam while swallowing a flaming sword... If you do, you WILL feel pain that you could never imagined could exist.

 

[Stevo_s]

always look on the bright side !!!!!

 

[AWAR]

Do not enter 4chan, ever.
Don not be drunk in public, do not get in fights when drunk, do not throw glass bottles at people when drunk.

 

[Dusty Donuts]

Mind the guy online that calls you a "Jewish nigga fuck". The only asshole he's going to kill in a game is his own team.

 

[Latinidiot]

have the decency to walk home after drinking, instead of driving..

NEVER utter the phrase 'it's quiet....almost....TOO quiet' in the dark
also never say 'what could possibly go wrong'

 

[Jedamethis]

Don't be a dick.

 

[Aunel]

when you break your E string,
uhm

there is no solution to that problem!

I want my E string *sobs*

 

[lodo_bear]

Never lie, for any reason.

If it is too late to follow this bit of advice, do whatever it takes to make the truth known. It is better to be hated than to be a liar.

 

[bluepilot]

Don`t say bad things about people you know, it always comes back to you (harsh lesson learned there)