What would you do if Jesus turned out to be real and came back?

Jacco

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May 1, 2011
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I'm watching the episode of Family Guy where Peter discovers Jesus and it got me wondering- what would that actually be like?
 

dex-dex

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Oct 20, 2009
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I think quite a few people would be shitting their pants with awe
and I would want to hang out with him. In the Bible he sounds a bit preachy but he does have quite a bit of wisdom.
 

Mister K

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Apr 25, 2011
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Well, I don't think he will appear somewhere in public place and yell: "Hi!! I am Jesus Christ!! I will save ya'll. Oh, you have a botlle of water. Now it's a wine."
I am pretty darn sure that story will repeat itself: born in workman's family, then, when grown-up, stars a new religious movement, then christians start throwing rocks at him, then he is betrayed, imprisoned, dies in a cell (or killed) and ressurected.

But if he DOES appear out of nowhere, then I think I would ask him why did he allow humans to carry such awful actions in his name and use it [name, I mean] for unhumane and simply bad deeds.
 

The Geek Lord

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Apr 15, 2009
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I'd wait for Jesus to be surrounded by anti-drug right wing nutjobs, walk up to Jesus and hand him a joint, and when he smokes it, I'd walk away with a smug look on my face.[footnote]And no, I don't actually do drugs. I just hate people who think there's something wrong with them because "da bible said so." Even though it didn't.[/footnote]

Then proceed to facepalm when everyone starting screeching "OH NOEZ JAYZUS ONLEE DED EET 2 B NIEC ADN EXCEPT DA OFFR."
 

IronStorm9

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Jun 15, 2010
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I'd buy the man a taco. Who doesn't want tacos after spending 2000+ years dead? I know I would.
 

RidetheLightning

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Jul 3, 2011
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What do you mean by "IF" Jesus turned out to be real Jesus "IS" real and "IS" coming back. It is accepted by the overwhelmingly majority of scholars that Jesus was an actual historical figure. After all Chuck Norris has volunteered to remain on earth after the Rapture so he can fight the Anti-Christ
 

ArbiterX13

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Jul 2, 2011
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"Oh, look at that. Looks like a handful of us are saved while the rest of the world is doomed to burn. Hmm. Wonder if 'That 70s Show' is on yet..."
 

AmaterasuGrim

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Jul 16, 2011
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Jesus should've upgraded his net.
Well i guess there'd be the whole governments trying to catch him & experiment & also people just sticking to him to find which religion is the greatest & if he ever gave a answer it'd probably be quiet the war, then you'd also have the atheist out to kill him personally if i was the dude I'd never reveal myself.
Anyway my overall answer would be that if he was real it'd be the end of the world not rapture just us killing each other over his existence & idiotic beliefs.
 

Bocaj2000

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Sep 10, 2008
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Since I reincarnation, he is probably already here. Along with Abraham, Gandhi, Muhammed, and Hitler.

EDIT: He would probably be a very chill guy, and would most likely be like Donald from the book "Illusions."
 

GeneWard

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Feb 23, 2011
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"Don't nobody fucks with the Jesus. If chu' go wavin' that gun around, I'll shove it up your ass and pull the trigger till it goes click."

But I suppose you mean the messiah and not the Big Lebowski character. I'd probably hang out with him and show the cool stuff he missed. You know, computers and shit.
 

CM156_v1legacy

Revelation 9:6
Mar 23, 2011
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I think Jesus is a pretty cool guy. eh died for our sins and doesn?t afraid of anything

I'd be happy.
 

AwkwardTurtle

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Aug 21, 2011
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Just ask him a series of questions. Such as can you literally turn my water into wine or was that just a symbolic miracle? Is the world gonna end now or later? According to God am I going to hell for doubting his existence my entire life or can I be forgiven since I was only being reasonable? So can you clear up the whole are you God or the son of God or both, and if both, how does that work? All these and many more various questions. :D
 

BishopofAges

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Sep 15, 2010
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*Walks outside, sees Jesus, waves. Walks back inside*

Personally I think people who buddy-buddy up to idols and mentors are similar to the suck-ups in school. If you really were a good student and did the things ought to be doing, you shouldn't really see much of the teacher, unless of course if they were the type that chatted at length with you about videogames... Thank God for Philosophy class.
 

GamerKT

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Jul 27, 2009
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As an atheist, I would shit myself because I'd be going to Hell. I'd instantly convert to Christianity and be a good boy. Or do what I want and repent later. However the hell the rules work.