What would you give to an alien?

The Funslinger

Corporate Splooge
Sep 12, 2010
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FilipJPhry said:
TitanAura said:
A bible. They'll be laughing for days! =D
Thank you for reassuring my belief that atheists on the internet are more bigoted and obnoxious than most Christians I've met in real life.

OT I'd give him/her 4chan. For the lolz.
Greater Internet Fuck-wad theory, my friend.

I'm an atheist. Please don't lump me in with him.

Anyway, I'd use fantasy media to build a careful documentation convincing them a large portion of humanity has vastly destructive magical powers. Let's see em work up the balls to invade then.

And I agree, 4chan would either have them run away. Or kill us all with fire. Or a compromise and block us from the rest of the universe with a force field, South Park style.
 

Iron Criterion

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Feb 4, 2009
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I'd give them two books; one on the history of dinosaurs and the other would be the biography of Ernest Hemingway.

They'll connect the dots. And mankind will be spared.
 

The Funslinger

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Sep 12, 2010
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Reginald said:
I'd link the visitors to 4chan. That'll ensure they steer clear of us.

FilipJPhry said:
I'd actually say atheism brought us Chariman Mao and Stalin and religion brought us the Renaissance.
Except Mao and Stalin didn't actually do anything in the name of atheism, they just happened to be atheists. You're applying the logic similar to that used the media to persecute video games after the Columbine massacre. The shooters just happened to like video games, the video games didn't make the shooters kill anyone. Furthermore, religion isn't the sole contributor to the development of the renaissance. Nostalgia for the classical age was a larger factor. Don't turn this into a religious pissing competition.
Agreed. I don't usually get involved in stuff like this, but: the Crusades, the Northern Ireland Troubles, the vast majority of terrorism, the Palestine vs Israel conflicts, validation for the extermination and segregation of Native Americans, and persecution of anybody who even came close to suggesting Atheism for centuries in Europe.

Point is, every group has its dicks, and religion's dicks have always found it easiest to be the most vocal ("God is on my side", etc) and then equally, I've heard a lot of atheists (even on this website) going on about how they would violently stamp out religion of they had the power. Hell, I once saw a guy suggesting capital punishment for marriage. What. The. Fuck.
 

HarryScull

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Apr 26, 2012
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Id show them a documentary/montage all the movies of humans beating the shit out of aliens and at the end it will say fuck of back to mars
 

BlackEagle95

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Apr 3, 2011
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Get every historical expert together and give them the complete history of Humanity, good and bad. I'd then ask them to do the same.
No idea how we're gonna translate this, we'll find a way.
 

Sam Warrior

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Feb 13, 2010
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A glass of water, the glass shows we can make semi complicated stuffs (being as its already in a space craft of some kind), and water is damn important for life and we have lots of it.
 

DudeistBelieve

TellEmSteveDave.com
Sep 9, 2010
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Give them an archive of Kevin Smith's Smodcast Podcasts. Pretty much everything about humanity, our thoughts, our hopes, our dreams, our fears, are all in there.

If theres an aggressive alien race out there, we're fucked anyway. But if there is even another alien thats mildly-violent like we are, I think it's worth attempting to contact them and trying to form some sort of relationship with them. We wouldn't feel so alone anymore.
 

Knight Captain Kerr

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May 27, 2011
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I would give them this.

Also an encyclopedia that contains tonnes of information on earth. All sorts of knowledge about life of earth,the make up of earth, our culture, the history of humanity et cetra. Let them make up their own minds about us.
 

Baron von Blitztank

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May 7, 2010
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Chlamydia
I don't know, whatever they ask for I suppose aslong as it's nothing too taxing. So basically anything from a cup of tea to the severed heads of my world leaders.
 

CNKFan

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Aug 20, 2008
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I would send a weapon powerful enough to carry out the holy order of exterminatus against the foul xenos. This galaxy belongs to humanity.
 

RoBi3.0

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Mar 29, 2009
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I would give them a copy of the Pali Canon. Chances are they are just as lost in the universe as Humanity is. A little perspective does everyone some good.
 

m1garand23

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Dec 7, 2009
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Depends on if they are hostile or not. If hostile send an strike team consisting of the worlds best special forces members be they SAS,Royal Marines, SEAl's, GROM and Spetsnaz give them nessesary Training and launch them in an experimental space transport that the UN has been secretly developing, Board their ship, kill them off (If possible) and get their ship back to earth to be stripped for parts and analysed for information to defend against the invaison, or just nick as much stuff as possible and blow it to hell.

If peaceful send a diplomatic envoy from the UN to make official firs contact and begin information swaping, tecnology, culture or social information, and of course trading.
 

The Last Nomad

Lost in Ethiopia
Oct 28, 2009
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I think that what they sent was a good way of representing us.

If I got to pick. I'd send a joint of the best Ganja on earth, with some sort of instructions on how to smoke it.