What would you say/do to your young self?

Parasondox

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Jun 15, 2013
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You wanna know my inner thoughts? Good Luck!

If you had the chance to go back in time to visit and community with your younger self, what would you say or do? Don't say bang.

Don't say bang. Don't say bang. Bang, your Honour!! God DAMN IT!

If people wish to do that, then fine. What would Para now say to the young Para?

Current Me: Hey Para?

Young Me: Who's Para?

CM: In several years you will know. Listen, you know that shyness you have and social awkwardness you suffer through each day?

YM: Yeah?

CM: You will grow out of it. Well you guess you have too seeing as you will get all the chicks and dudes and pounding puss and butts. Nah I am kidding, you aren't a douche.

YM: What's a douche?

CM: In due time young one. Oh and slang changes every fucking week so don't even bother trying to keep up. Waste of time.

YM: Dnt gas bruv.

CM: *SMACK!* What the fuck did I just tell you!?

YM: Don't fucking...

CM: SHUT UP!! Listen, you will discover the internet soon and my god it is beautiful. Just do not let the internet become you. There is darkness involved. So much anger, rage, nontroversies and buzzwords of the week. Try to stay away and do not take everything to heart over the net.

YM: Anything else old man, I need to get back to... reading.

CM: I'm in my 20's you ass and you aren't reading jack, you lil wanker. Tug tug tug, here comes the white fudge.

YM: ...

CM: Lastly, be the kind side of you. Handle your anger carefully and no matter how much things seem shit and dark, have hope that you will find the light and that one person will come along and she will change everything for the better. Enjoy every moment with her.

YM: Okay. Thanks.

CM: Also do not say "cartoons" when you get older. It pisses people off for some reason. You must say "animation".

YM: Like the Batman cartoons?

CM: No no no. What did I just say? "Batman Animated Series". Get it?

YM: But it's a cartoon? Why do I need too...

CM: ssssshhhush!! You can't beat it. It's the rules of the internet. Also think up your own opinions on things. You do not need validation from an echo chamber.

YM: You know you are telling me what to do right?

CM: God I was an inquisitive ass. Don't lose that.

YM: Anything else?

CM: Just one thing.

YM: What?

CM: You will stumble upon a site. A popular site that centers around gaming, comics and all things nerdy. Your task if you choose to accept it, is to take it down slowly from the inside. The site begins with an "E" and always talks about escaping things. Paragon Fury will do this also.

YM: Who? You are so weird.

CM: WE only get weird young Para. Only get weirder.
 

Chanticoblues

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Apr 6, 2016
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I'd say to tell my parents not to sell my grandparents' houses when they die because the market explodes and family spends the next decade(s?) barely scraping by at jobs they hate.
 

twistedmic

Elite Member
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Sep 8, 2009
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For one, I'd tell my younger self not to ever trust or associate with anyone named Aaron or Peter. They invariably turn out to be monumental douche-bags or fuckwits.
I'd also tell my younger self to see 'Cabin in the Woods' and 'Django Unchained' in theaters, as well as skip 'Skin Walkers' 'Live Free or Die Hard' entirely.
 

Zontar

Mad Max 2019
Feb 18, 2013
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Well apart from the obvious big lottery number results, I'd tell him to cut the socialist crap out, he's only embarrassing himself with it.

I'd also tell him to not go anywhere near [her] because dad is right and not only that but she's much worst then he said she's be, and that [she] is already into you anyway so you can skip the bad relationship and start the good one 5 years early.

Oh well, at least things worked out in the end. Don't have to put up with [her] anymore anyway, and things are going well with [she].
 

Zhukov

The Laughing Arsehole
Dec 29, 2009
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"Okay young fellow, see that girl over there with the curly hair and goofy smile? Yeah, she likes you. God only knows why, but she does. Go talk to her, she won't bite."

"If that doesn't work out then don't despair. A few months from now you'll meet a certain German lass. You'll know her when you see her, trust me. When she asks if you want to give her a massage, for the love of God, say yes."

"I know you're thinking of joining the army. Don't bother. It's not bad but it's mostly a waste of time. You'd be better off getting some qualifications under your belt."

"And now you and I are going to go jogging. A lot. If you stop I will kick your pimply arse. You will thank me for this later."
 

Extra-Ordinary

Elite Member
Mar 17, 2010
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Yo, stop being bad to your sister, you are not just "being an older brother", your behavior is abusive and you will not be able to repair it later.
 

Saelune

Trump put kids in cages!
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Mar 8, 2011
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Its not going to get better if you don't make it better. Also draw more and come out sooner rather than later. (As a gay trans person, I don't really care for the "It gets better" campaign since its not guaranteed.)
 

Kae

That which exists in the absence of space.
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Nov 27, 2009
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Lose 1d20 sanity points.
Ok I guess I can think of something...

-I walk by him with my wallet poking out of my back pocket practically begging to be stolen, then as his tiny grubby hand comes close I snatch it and say...

Older Me: Hey there little girl, what are you doing?

Younger Me: Eh... uhm... uh... *Looks up with glassy eyes* [small]I'm lost...[/small]

OM: *Let's a smug sinister giggle* I ain't falling for that one girlie, try harder.

YM: ...

OM: Stealing is bad you know, you might get hurt.(Says as he slowly caresses the scar on his left eye with his heavily scarred left hand)

-The younger me attempts to kick the older me in the knee, but fails due to lack of reach, older me punches him in the stomach knocking the wind out of him.

OM: You know girlie you're not even close to as tough as you think you are, which should be obvious, I mean how old are you 8?

YM: I'm 14 and I'm not a girl!

OM: You're not a girl? Are you sure? Beacuse you look pretty girlie to me... *smirks* I'd say almost exactly like your mother.

YM: Glares at OM and let's out a growl.

OM: Ok, ok girlie, it's just too much fun messing with ya, but I've got a secret to tell ya... *He slowly brings his head down to YM'sear and whispers* I'm you, from the future.

YM: You're crazy! We look nothing alike... [small]Besides there's no way I'd ever get taller.[/small]

OM: In any case I'm just here to tell you... There's no point in regret, every single experience you have is a part of you and even though you are an annoying piece of shit now, those experiences allow you to become an amazing person... from a moral standpoint, you're kind off failure but you're OK with it because those experiences made you who you are and you wouldn't change it for the world.

YM: Wait... So you came back in time to tell me that, I shouldn't change absolutely anything because it turns out all right?!

OM: Eh... Not exactly it turns out awful, but those experiences turn you into a really amazing person.

YM: So you want me to have a shitty life just so that I can become what you are now because you think you are amazing?
Man you are fucking stupid, I hope that you are at least a badass since you kind off look like you've been through a lot.

OM: Oh man, you are in for a lot of disappointment...

YM: I think I should kill myself...

OM: ...
 

Scarim Coral

Jumped the ship
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Oct 29, 2010
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Two things-

1 For the future sake, do NOT trim your toe nails too much, keep it straight and across! You do NOT want to spend a couple of years in agony of ingrowing toenails problem!

2 I know you will hate me but you MUST get a summer job when High School is over! I know you want to have the best summer ever but trust me, the recession is coming!

3 (Optional) Try to have more faith and willpower in yourself into trying to draw!

4 (Optional if I can remember a lotto numbers on this date) Use these numbers on this date.
 

DudeistBelieve

TellEmSteveDave.com
Sep 9, 2010
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I'd say "Your life long dream is a lie, learn something practical like plumbing or electrician."
 

Wrex Brogan

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Jan 28, 2016
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It starts with a drop kick to the face, and I work my way up from there.

Fuck, I was a right tit when I was a kid. Little prick deserves an ass-whopping. Hell, Young Me would probably be right there with me, going 'yeah, you know, I deserve this'.
 

Naldan

You Are Interested. Certainly.
Feb 25, 2015
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I'd tell me to do everything I did but to cut out some unnecessary things that wasted years for absolutely nothing. And to stay away from a certain city. But I'd recommend joining the army for the minimum time of 9 months, but to never ever expand the time. And to join politics way earlier. And I'd tell my younger self that feminism is not what it seems, but be awesomely vague about this since some experience was very valuable.

And I'd lie about my current age, making myself way older and justify this by lying about a future anti aging creme.
 

Neurotic Void Melody

Bound to escape
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Jul 15, 2013
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The winning lottery numbers for this weekend are...

You talk too much.

That's nowhere near enough pills, you silly fool! And drink this too, it adds to the toxicity.

Sing louder and free.

Don't hang with them, don't care what they say and definitely dance more.

Seek. Professional. Help. No, not that help, the other help! It'll only get worse.

Oh so much to learn, so much pain to come. I mean, everything will be juust fine. Here are some musics, now practice more...much more!

They will hurt you, there is nothing you can do about that. You may even deserve it. But at least there is something you can do about that. Don't let the hurt take over, you have to learn to live beside it. Do not try to kill it off, it is your greatest weapon if you really want to create something beautiful and touching. Do not be afraid. And help others, do not fear them.

Don't write that, that's bad. Like really bad. Here are better words.

Don't be such a smartass. (And then i'd punch him and leave, taking his last sandwich as time travel is hungry work.)
 

The Raw Shark

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes.
Nov 19, 2014
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There would be now words, I'd simply smash him straight in the face and he'd know exactly who I am and why I did it.
 

MythicMatt

Phantom of the forum
Feb 4, 2015
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A theoretical time-travel thread? Let's see... I guess I'm going back to when I was like 8.

*Probably a park somewhere. Current me intentionally bumps into young me.*
YM: *mumbling* S'ry.
CM: It's cool. Hey, got a minute?
YM: Uh...
CM: Don't worry, we won't be going anywhere.
YM: I guess...
CM: Know how you sorta suck at writing stories? The more you read and watch, the more ideas you'll be able to draw from.
YM: *nods*
CM: And you know how much you like Pokemon? You'll stop enjoying it around when there's over 700 to catch, but the Mystery Dungeon games will be gold.
YM: That sounds silly. Pokemon is for life.
CM: Yeah, it sound silly, but you'll see.
YM: Is that all?
CM: Nope, at some point, you'll get kicked from schools for a few years, and it'll be the best education you'll ever get.
YM: Whoa...
CM: Yeah. And lastly, don't be afraid to try getting a feel of someones personality just from how they walk and talk. I've avoided so many bad things that way.
YM: So, thanks for all the advice. I think I gotta go now...
*Young me runs off. Current me fades back into the right place in time.*
 

Sigmund Av Volsung

Hella noided
Dec 11, 2009
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I would tell him to go do some exercise every once in a while and tell him to stop gobbing off to his family. Probably with a smack.

Other than that, nothing much. Everything else would be kind of a spoiler considering the Hail Mary's I pulled to get to where I am right now.
 

CrazyCapnMorgan

Is not insane, just crazy >:)
Jan 5, 2011
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You might love her, but that ***** isn't worth marrying. And no, she won't be your only one. Unfortunately.