What would you tell a fictional character to completely blow their mind?

Uzi-Bazooka

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Jul 6, 2011
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Oh, gosh. So many possibilities.

I do like the idea of going into various universes and leaving their Rule 34 pictures for them to discover. I'd be like some kind of creepy porn fairy! Instead of teeth, I take your childhood, and instead of money, I leave shame and regret.

I think it would be interesting to go back to the Doom series, point at the Doomguy, and tell all of the other marines, "This is the only guy who's going to live. All of the rest of you are gonna end up as corpses or, if you're really unlucky, offset textures. And since most of you die in the rooms with the bad guys who can be killed with the pistol and fists, I'm assuming you all suck." Would they all turn on the main Marine? Would they give up the fight altogether? Or would they, knowing that they are certain to die, continue onward, "Charge of the Light Brigade"-style?
 

Dfskelleton

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Apr 6, 2010
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I would find it funny to go into the first Metal Gear on the NES and explain to Snake every plot twist that comes up after that. As you can assume, it will take a very, VERY long time.
Uzi-Bazooka said:
I think it would be interesting to go back to the Doom series, point at the Doomguy, and tell all of the other marines, "This is the only guy who's going to live. All of the rest of you are gonna end up as corpses or, if you're really unlucky, offset textures. And since most of you die in the rooms with the bad guys who can be killed with the pistol and fists, I'm assuming you all suck." Would they all turn on the main Marine? Would they give up the fight altogether? Or would they, knowing that they are certain to die, continue onward, "Charge of the Light Brigade"-style?
Alternatively, you could save them all some time and say "All you need to do is shout out the letters 'IDDQD'. You can thank me when you're all saved."
 

mrdude2010

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Aug 6, 2009
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i would go to zelda games and be like guys guys guys... what if zelda was a girl? because i appreciate lame trolls.


that or go to halo 3 and tell master chief: they're going to make this game that's going to remove all the fun parts from this one based on characters who are supposedly as physically advanced as you are, yet still move slower than mentally challenged molasses.
 

Bipedal Rug

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Feb 25, 2009
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I'd leap into Mario Bros for the NES, and tell Mario that Peach is never gonna put out, and to just walk away now.
 

Edible Avatar

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Oct 26, 2011
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The red pill will make you have uncomfortable ethernet jacks in your neck and torso..... just sayin....
 

retyopy

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Aug 6, 2011
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"Hey, Valkryie? Yeah, you know that Darquess chick who's going to murder your family? Well,

YOU'RE HER! Oh,and Skulduggery is Lord Vile.
 

Eomega123

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Jan 4, 2011
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Pretty much any jrpg.

Me: Hey, you know those waist-high fences everywhere?
Hero: Yeah, I've been searching for a key for hours.
Me: *Climbs over one*
 

Infernai

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Apr 14, 2009
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FF10: Tell Tidus he isn't real and that his Father is Sin

Drakengard (Before start of game): "Well Caim, basically: You're world is run by cannibal babies who want to kill it for shits and giggles, your going to be best friends with a dragon...and you are going to be killed eighteen years later by your whiny, thick-headed nephew and the girl who tried to destroy the world. Have fun! Also..don't get too attached to having two eyes.."