What's a 'deal-breaker' for you when it comes to a possible relationship?


New member
Aug 25, 2009
This is actually quiet interesting since I just recently got into my first relationship where I am a girl's boyfriend and she acknowledges it in public.

So score on that point anyways onto the actual relevance to the topic at hand.

I'm actually startled at how picky some people are, won't actually name anyone though since they have their reasons and i respect that.
Anyways my own personal deal breakers list:

-Baggage (seriously I do not want to be taking care of some other guy's kid). I am so not ready to be a father.

-Sex I don't want kids yet and the safest way to avoid that situation is to avoid the act all together. Don't really care if the girls is a virgin or not though there is only so much I can tolerate if she slept with a few guys or a dozen guys fine, though if she is extremely permiscious and will sleep with just anyone I am running for the hills.

Heavily into drugs serious I have useless friends that I avoid because of that crap, noway am I going to date someone heavily into that, smoking cigs and weed I can put up with though you will still lose points though it's not a deal-breaker.

Body weight is not an issue with me ranging from skinny to overweight to a point, but I find women with a ton of muscles not particularly attractive to me if they wanna have that much strength more power to them but I just ain't into that or insanely overweight.

Needs to have a sense of humor otherwise the relationship isn't going to last very long

No zealously religious chicks I understand the need for religion but I already got my own spiritual beliefs I am comfortable with I see no need to change myself that way or convert others I let everyone else belief whatever the heck they want I expect to be shown the same courtesy

Has to at least like video games, science fiction and fantasy stories
I'm cool if they don't like the same series of stories, hell I like starwars my gf doesn't but she at least likes videogames and other sci fi and fantasy stuff so its cool, hell we both love anime and while there are some anime we both watch and enjoy my two fav animes are both mech animes and she hates em. Yet she loves My Little Pony I admit I've watched few episodes and while I found it tolerable it is just not my thing.

Ya I think that's pretty much it.


New member
May 1, 2012
-If she's a *****
-If she hates animals
-If she smokes or does drugs (And preferably no alcohol, but it's fine as long as she doesn't get drunk. I can't trust drunk people.)
-If she's taller than me (I'm 1,96m)
-If she's needy (Wants all my attention so that I can't hang out with friends)
-If she's a supporter of Ajax or ADO Den Haag (Yeah, really, I'm bringing in football)
-If she's Vegetarian (I eat a lot of meat.)
-If she's Religious
-If she tries to change me.

Seems like a lot, but it's all reasonable.
Well maybe not the football one, but hey, most girls don't care about football anyway.


Don't ask, or you won't know
Mar 16, 2011
(Purely from the standpoint that I am only 20 years old)
If they have a child, 9 times out of 10 it'll break any hope...
I mean, I won't ignore them, but... yeah, I'm too young for something like that... (And my naivety allows me to say that)

The only other thing that would throw me off COMPLETELY is if they had a horrible "history" (As in, slept around with anything they could)

besides those major two; a few nit-picky things that can be brushed over quickly, more preferences than requirements...


New member
Jan 23, 2010
The main things for me would be a hard drug addiction or being really close with an Ex, because im the super jealous type.

Patrick Buck

New member
Nov 14, 2011
Binnsyboy said:
Patrick Buck said:
Me not liking them. And by like, I mean "Like, like," not "yeah, they seem pretty cool" like.
You know what I mean? Saying love makes it seem to strong if your just starting out in a relationship, even if it's true, but "liking them" seems a bit weak. I like tea. I don't want to date it....

What were we talking about again?
People saying to just any partner they love them is just irritating. I thus far haven't said that to anyone I've been out with other than my first girlfriend when I was naught but an inexperienced lad without the weight of the world on his shoulders...

Anyway, I guess it sounds a bit callous, but that doesn't mean I'm not totally kind to them. I just avoid the L word, aside from that one time my most recent gf said she had a NES and I told her I thought I was in love with her as a joke, which she knew. 'twas a fun moment.

But yeah, meaningless "I love you"s irk me. It devalues the word just like many Escapists say the word hate has been devalued.
The devaluation of Hate is annoying. Now I have to make up words to discribe people I hate....
Like "Mega Loath" (Thank you Perry Cox), and Super dislike.
And Ultra irritating.


New member
Jan 30, 2008
The 3 that immediately come to mind are;

-she's fat
-she's a smoker
-she has a history of cheating


New member
Nov 7, 2011
Deal breaker?? Mmmm, being a racist. Once had boyfriend who was good looking, good job, good pretty much everything. Until someone of a different race came on TV, sat near us in a restaurant or even one occasion walked past us on the street. He would start muttering racist slur's and in one case made us cross the street so we wouldn't have to walk past them.

What's even more stupid is that I put up with it for 6 months before my brain finally turned on. So ashamed of myself.


Elite Member
Feb 22, 2012
A criminal past. Not just for serious relationships, but for any sort of intimacy. Seriously, a guy I'd just kissed in a club once tried to impress me by boasting about he was on bail for causing grievous bodily harm. Ummmm... yeah, no. I gave him an old mobile number and made my excuses.

Other than that, stuff like:

-any trace of sexism, racism or homophobia. Obviously.
-being religious. Not an immediate deal-breaker per se, but since I'm so strongly atheist I don't really see how that could work out long-term.
-demanding my attention 24/7. I need my own space, and I'm suspicious of people who don't seem to have that need themselves.
-declaring their undying love too early on. Makes me feel massively uncomfortable and like I want to run in the opposite direction, even if we were getting on great up till then. To me, love is something that takes time and effort, not something to start throwing around after a couple of weeks or even months. I'm not scared of commitment (I've been with my current boyfriend nearly 2 years now), I'm AWARE of commitments and what they entail.
-being unadventurous sexually. I'm not asking for anything crazy, just someone who'll try new things and is up for a bit of fun. Sex isn't the most important part of a relationship, but it's still important.
-not liking (or at least actively disliking) piercings, tattoos or silly hair colours. Because I like those things and I won't be stopping because of a partner. I don't look too odd really (my hair's a normal colour after a year of being bright blue), and I'm not going to cover myself in body modifications, but I want to feel free to embellish my body as I see fit.

And of course not being physically attractive to me. But that should be obvious. You cannot have a romantic relationship with someone you're not attracted to, end of.


New member
Dec 30, 2010
Being stupid and not liking good movies or videogames. The first one more than the latter ones. I'm still single because of that. Not to mention my overall lack of good looks.


New member
Jun 17, 2010
Couldn't really put my finger on anything (aside the obvious, aye? Obviously not gonna be dating a murderer and stuff). It all comes down to chemistry, if I/we feel it, it's likely enough of the stuff we don't agree on we can work through/ignore. Yeah, there's a bunch of things that can possibly bother me about a girl, but none of them are deal-breakers on their own, it's the sum of the parts that it comes down to.


New member
May 17, 2010
Not being religious (See I'm the black sheep here, Are we cool yet?)
Generally not being outgoing
Not being physically attractive in my eyes
Not being interested in a long term relationship
Dyed hair

So yeah leaving aside stuff like being a murdering psychopath or the like.

Colour Scientist

Troll the Respawn, Jeremy!
Jul 15, 2009
People who are boring, by that I mean people who don't go out and have fun and would rather sit at home and ***** about people who do. That gets really old, really fucking fast.

If they're preachy and try to be controlling because of their own insecurities. As in 'you shouldn't drink/smoke/hang out with other men/wear those clothes.' It's the most unattractive thing in the world. Added to that, someone who feels the need to check up on me all of the time or who doesn't have their own thing to do outside of our relationship.

If a guy is crap in bed and isn't willing to learn how to not be bad in bed, I'll probably lose interest. That sounds really bad but if a guy only knows how to satisfy himself and doesn't know or want to know how to please me too, I'll be gone pretty quickly.

Honesty is a big thing for me too. Also the whole racist/sexist/bigoted thing goes without saying.


New member
Jul 25, 2010
Breathing. I hate when I can see that the chick's lungs are obviously pumping air in and out of her disgusting lung sacs.
Blinking. Also a huge turn off. Gross. Just lie there with your eyes open and blank damnit!
Circulating blood. Also gross. Who wants that? Blood? Ugh...
Skin that isn't pale and/or slightly greenish. What the fuck ladies? Learn how to maintain!
Lack of flies. Listen. This is a big one. If you girls don't have at least one cluster of flies surrounding you, the deal is off. Sorry, just can't do it.
Lack of bloat. Guys like a healthy bloated body. Nothing wrong with it, just the gasses trying to escape. Maybe they're just trying to make room for something else.
Attitude. Personally, I hate women that display any form of attitude whatsoever.
Talking. This one freaks me out.
Having parents, friends, associates, co-workers...if you can't just enjoy the cool dark cell I custom built in my basement, well there is no way I am going to marry you.
Brick-ass. Do I even need to explain this one?


New member
Mar 17, 2010
I wouldn't be able to form a relationship with a drug user. Other than that I don't really mind. As long as she holds her own in the game of drink we'll at least have fun.


New member
Feb 26, 2009
There are very few things that are a deal-breaker for me. If I like the person enough I can get over any distaste.

A few preferences[footnote]As in, things they'd have to be really interesting for me to get over, and I've met a couple who have been[/footnote]

He/She is not open to new things; this can be close-mindedness to anything, food, drink, music, ideas, drugs, etc.

He/She is a violent person and believes in justified violence.

Well I guess that's all I can think of now.

A Raging Emo

New member
Apr 14, 2009
Rose and Thorn said:
There are reasons I don't date anymore, but I'll share some deal-breakers anyway.

-If they suck badly

If she hates vidya, the Army, if we don't like the same music, and if she does anything stronger than weed, then I can be counted out.


New member
Dec 20, 2008
smoking. If she smokes, its an automatic no. Not even a one night stand if she were hot.

captcha: underpants

which reminds me of another deal breaker... :p


New member
Jul 4, 2008
Most people fit into my "deal-breaker" list, sadly, hence my tendancy to have relationships that last less than half a year at the best of times.

Let's sum it up in a way that simplifies the list of things I dislike in a person, so as to avoid my usual textwall-ism to an extent.

1. Consistent dishonesty, if a woman can do nothing but lie to me, I would rather have intercourse with a cheese grater.

2. Constantly bothering me to "open up" more, let's just say that the things that I don't talk about, I don't talk about for a reason, if you won't trust me when I say it has nothing to do with you or our relationship, then you will never "get" me, I'm not trying to be mysterious, it's just that I'd rather not horrify you with details about my life prior to several major life changing occurances that made me who I am today, and seeing me cry, is never pleasant for anyone... so just... don't ok?

3. Getting mad at me for things I cannot change/have no control over, like what time I work and sometimes having it interfere with possible plans that haven't even really been made yet, sometimes I just want to sleep after I've worked for 16 straight hours, it's nothing against anyone, I'm just goddamn tired, and it's kinda an emotional tiredness too, because I work with people all day, tons and tons of different people, meanin I ain't too talkative after work.

4. Hating on my friends, some of my friends I call brothers for a REASON it means that unless we're married, or engaged, if one of them is in serious shit and needs my help, our picnic plans can wait, these are my friends who've been there for me and essencially kept me from killing myself or ending up on the street in the past, I value them more than anything else, they're more family to me than my own family, and if you cannot tolerate that or think that just because one or two of them is less likeable to you that I should not associate with them anymore, you can go on home.

5. Telling me that money doesn't matter to you, then ditching me because I make minimum wage, I'm sorry that I'm not wealthy, and that I have to work a lot, but that's where I am at right now, I don't care if you "Know hundreds of guys with their shit more together" than me, that might come from the fact that those guys have wealthy families, drive cars bought for them, have homes to fall back on if they fuck up and lose their job, and never have to worry about being on the bottom rung of the ladder ever. I'm not that kinda guy, and I'm open about that, if you were too dense to pick up on the fact that I'm poor, regardless of my telling you that I dropped out of highschool, and work in customer service, I don't know why I'd even have coffee with you.

6. Hating on me for my "habbits" I smoke marajuana because it regulates my brain chemistry somewhat, it's hard when you have a chemically imballanced brain and every pill the doctors give you, just ends up inflaming the less than pleasant parts of your personality, and give you rage problems. Having to fall back on something that isn't exactly smiled upon by certain authoritative figures, isn't preferable, but at least I live in BC, so it's not like I can't get ahold of it easily enough.

And there's a a few more points too... But those would make this post waaaaay too long, as it is approaching full scale wall size already...

Capcha: "underpants" wtf?