Whats the stupidest thing youve ever got away with in a RPG?

Imre Csete

Original Character, Do Not Steal
Jul 8, 2010
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I've once rolled a former townsguard who had bonus combat modifiers in taverns, due to participating in bar brawls when making arrests (backstory relevant stuff). Whenever I could, I've made last stands in taverns western style, mad rampaging ensued every time.
 

Adeptus Aspartem

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Jul 25, 2011
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I've a story which brought forth a catch phrase in our play group. Hm, it was our second Shadowrun group in the 4th Ed.
We had to investigate the disappearance of a middle-management dude and bring him back alive. After some legwork, talking and "talking" we finally arrived in a strange complex outside the sprawl.

We sneaked/fought through the first floor and then stood before an elevator, our hacker hijacked it, we went in and down.
GM: The elevtor door opens. You're infront of a pretty big and obviously solid security door. There are biometric scanners and the sentry turret you managed to disable during the elevator ride.
Hacker: Well, before you guys start to blast the door - and i know you already thought about it - let's try to do it more subtle for once.
<Group agrees under some protest, because explosions are way cooler>
<Hacker does his rolls, door opens>
GM: Infront of you a bizzare scene unfolds. In the dark and wide room, only illuminated by candles, you see 5 people standing in the corners of some sort of magic-circle. Some of them are in trance, one is mumbling in a unrecognizable language and the guy facing you hold's a chicken over his head which he just beheaded. And in the middle of all that is a very confused >Mr.Forgothisname<.
The apparent leader of the group looks at you: >Who dares to interrupt this ceremony? What do you want?!"
Me: We want the chicken!
All: What?!

Well, we managed to save the guy but i also got a voodoo-magic chicken which later was a part of my first initiation :D
 

Pifflestick

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Jun 10, 2008
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I did a lot of crazy things in Vampire the Masquerade when I played it; Trying to break open a locked footlocker with my foot as my mad scientist Malkavian (broke my toes instead), being used as a human battering ram as my drunken Scottish Brujah (worked perfectly), and punching a Werewolf in the face while the sun came up and an Antediluvian awoke (did not end well, for anyone involved). My best story though, and my greatest success, involved an old grizzled military veteran and a helicopter.

So, my previous character, the Malkavian, had recently died in a flaming heap of garbage surrounded by police after jumping out a 20th floor window (its a long story), and as I was rolling up a new character the DM told me that we didn't have a pilot on the team which would be helpful, so I decided to roll up an old military man who'd served in every major conflict from Vietnam to the Gulf as part of an elite spec-ops team and helicopter pilot, and who'd retired from the service and started a company who did helicopter tours of the Rockies.

At this point in the campaign, someone had been hunting werewolves by helicopter with a highpower sniper rifle, and as I joined the group we found out they were renting the chopper from my company and they had it scheduled in about half an hour. Since we had no time to procure a larger vehicle, we had to pile seven people into a five-seater, so me and our teams muscle got in the trunk and we sped off, sparking off a high-speed police chase in the process. The helicopter was taking off when we arrived with the pilot at the controls and the sniper sitting by the doors. I took my shotgun out, kicked my way out of the trunk, and ran at the helicopter as it took off managing to just barely jump into the cabin. Our muscle did the same, though his jump went right through the helicopter, tore the doors off, and took the sniper with him.

I put my shotgun to the pilots head and told her to land, then realized that there were dozens of police officers waiting outside and that I had several unregistered weapons I'd 'borrowed' from the army, so I had her take off instead and head toward the forest. Once we were over the forest, I shot the pilot in the back of the head and jumped out, letting the trees slow me down and the soft forest floor break my fall, then I walked calmly away as the helicopter crashed a couple meters behind me in a huge ball of fire.

The DM said I was going to die, the rest of the group called me an idiot, but I pulled it off and walked away with barely a scratch. Fortune favors the bold.
 

elvor0

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Sep 8, 2008
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The Dwarf Grenade.

That has to be my favourite, essentially one of our players characters had trouble...not killing everything in site, so the rest of the group made the decision to put him in a bag of holding, full of water, with a breath water spell cast on him, and when we were in combat, we would throw the bag at the enemies, unleashing the water and an insane, drenched Dwarf. It went quite well till the wizard forgot to cast water breathing and he drowned.

He was also part of the long line of the Gerak family. As the guy playing Gerak had the unfortunate problem of his character dying almost every time we played. Not even through his own fault, just sheer bad luck;

-Double critical crossbow bolts to the balls, bled to death.
-Strangled by an animated curtain
-Burned to death from tomato sauce exploding from a pastry golem
-Shot in the head, in his underwear on a 1% chance.
-Slipped and fell
-Drowned in a bag
-Lost. In a bag.
-Floated away and fell to death on a rogue Tensers Floating Plate

We just played it that all of those characters had existed, and his parents just wern't very inventive with naming the siblings, thus they were Gerak the I, II, III, IV and so on.
 

Haunted Serenity

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Jul 18, 2009
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I played as a honourable dragonborn in 4thED DnD. An ex guard armed with scale and a halberd. Could not hit a damn thing with my chosen and speced weapon. The dice gods would not allow it. But If I threw a chair at our party's gnome who was trying to steal things in a tavern. Roll a twenty plus a d4 on a 4 for damage multiplier. So said chair which we agreed did 5 damage, plus my 3 for strength bonus did 32 damage. I one shoted the gnome with a chair. Throwing my halberd away in combat against guards in a mistaken conflict. Decapitated two of them trying to flank me. I eventually started carrying 4 short swords which our DM gave me no penalty to throwing which I entered any fight by flinging them at targets an then following up by throwing either the mage(who would immolate herself) or rouge(with invisibility and twin katars) at any surviving monster as they would hit with their weapon with a d6 and d4 bonus. Twin katar armed gnome does nasty damage when flung at mach 2 into a beholder...
 

ecoho

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Jun 16, 2010
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sense the thread hasn't had any new posts for a bit ill share another one, but this is something I saw a friend do.

so were playing for about an hour and we come upon a mercenary army about to attack this town. Now were greatly out numbered and out gunned so most of the group decides we should go warn the town and then help them fight them off, sounds like a good plan right? Well are chaotic evil fighter didn't think so, he preyed to his deity to grant him victory(I think it was kord) and ran in yelling and swinging his sword. Our DM was fed up with him as hes been doing reckless stuff like this since the start and he keeps saying the only reason hes dieing is cause the DM never gives him a chance to win. So our DM wants an end to it so he tells him

DM:"Ok you have only one way of winning here and you get one shot at it heres ten d20s you have to get above 15 on each to survive but youll be unconscious"

friend: "but what if I roll all 20s?"

DM: "then youll smite them all and the town will be yours but if you get even one 1 your character will die a true death and youll have to start over"

Friend: "fine give me the dice!"

he rolls all ten d20s and gets all ten 20s

DM: well the town is now yours and to celebrate they are showing off their flying pigs to welcome their glorious new lucky bastered" then he says hes done and the game ended there. Well except the laughing we did for about an hour after even the DM.
 
Jan 29, 2009
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Atomic Spy Crab said:
Singularly Datarific said:
It was Dark Heresy, a 40k themed RPG. I played a character who at the very start bought a solitary frag grenade. At the end of the campaign we ended up fighting some slasneesh-based orgy-cult or something. "Upon opening the door you find a writhing mass of people [sexing it up] in a horrific smelly mess of despicable gluttony-" "I throw the grenade and close the door."
*BOOM*
GM did not expect that one. Had to come up with some interesting effects.
You peaked my interest at blowing up slaaneshis(BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD GOD) tell me these effects
Sadly, when the door was opened everything had disappeared. :( I admit I was hoping for something funnier than that myself. The next game I rolled to scare off some street thugs or something with a double barreled shotgun. Rolled a 1 (using d100, low rolls good). Every enemy had either dropped to the ground shouting gibberish or disappeared into the distance. For the next few conversations my character couldn't make any words.
 

Johnny Novgorod

Bebop Man
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Apr 10, 2020
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Never played pen and paper but I cheesed a couple of Demon's Souls boss fights. The first one I found out accidentally, Flamelurker gets stuck running against a boulder and you can easily spam Soul Arrow on him until he dies. In the second case, I stood just outside the fog gate (i.e. boss arena) and shot Maneater with about 200 arrows until he croaked. While I fought the second Maneater regularly, it reduced the difficulty of the battle significantly.
 

Revnak_v1legacy

Fixed by "Monday"
Mar 28, 2010
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Our party had been told to infiltrate an enemy kingdom as spies and find out stuff about it. The DM had given us a pretty clear route that we were supposed to take, we were supposed to go to a tavern, talk to some guy, and then meet with some rebel leader. I decided to go talk to some other dark figure in the corner instead. This lead to a fight in which somebody wound up flooding the whole tavern. So, quest hook temporarily lost (we were later informed we could have just gone back to the tavern later and talked to the guy then), I decided that the party should burn attempt to break into the enemy castle in a way that mixed stealth, cunning, and burning shit. So we burned down everything we spotted made of wood and I busted into the castle using a hat of disguise to look like a guard and took whatever information I could, whilst wasting some time to make a maid fall in love with me. The whole fire thing was actually kinda pointless, since we actually only were able to actually get me inside by having the druid make the barbarian super huge so he could tear down the drawbridge.


We were terrible spies.

Edit- oh, just to make it clear, this was actually how we found out where the rebel leader was. This terrible plan not only didn't lead to a TPK, but it actually led to progress. And we weren't hunted down by the guards afterwards.
 

Gethsemani_v1legacy

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Oct 1, 2009
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I was invited to a one-shot-might-become-a-campaign-if-successful Dark Heresy game where all characters started out pretty high level. So there's two veteran guardsmen, a psyker and my Sister of Battle in the aid of an inquisitor, out to quell an uprising in a penal mining colony. As we get near the end we are captured and introduced to the leader of the rebels, a man that starts talking about how the inquisitor has lied etc., the usual set-up to let the players join the rebels. To show good faith we get our weapons back and the discussion continues a bit more, until the psyker says something about his powers and the rebel leader replies with something to the effect of "I am also a psyker".

At that point, I double check with the GM to make sure I heard correct and then proceed to state my intention to openly denounce the rebel leader as a heretic while firing both bolt pistols at him. I score two critical hits in the rebel leaders head and he dies instantly. In the ensuing fight the guardsmen kill just about everyone else in the room with their flamers. At that point the GM aborted the session, since his entire scenario collapsed when we killed his key NPC and the 25 other rebels in the room.

We never continued that scenario...
 

Atomic Spy Crab

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Mar 28, 2013
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Singularly Datarific said:
Atomic Spy Crab said:
Singularly Datarific said:
It was Dark Heresy, a 40k themed RPG. I played a character who at the very start bought a solitary frag grenade. At the end of the campaign we ended up fighting some slasneesh-based orgy-cult or something. "Upon opening the door you find a writhing mass of people [sexing it up] in a horrific smelly mess of despicable gluttony-" "I throw the grenade and close the door."
*BOOM*
GM did not expect that one. Had to come up with some interesting effects.
You peaked my interest at blowing up slaaneshis(BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD GOD) tell me these effects
Sadly, when the door was opened everything had disappeared. :( I admit I was hoping for something funnier than that myself. The next game I rolled to scare off some street thugs or something with a double barreled shotgun. Rolled a 1 (using d100, low rolls good). Every enemy had either dropped to the ground shouting gibberish or disappeared into the distance. For the next few conversations my character couldn't make any words.
Sounds really fun!
 

Vern5

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Mar 3, 2011
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Yesterday I was running a game of Hunter The Reckoning. Our resident Judge activated Cleave and used his empowered fist to punch a thinblood vampire through the roof of a car. He punched it so hard that it burst into ash.

Also, our Heavy Avenger has a serious obsession with attempting to pull off vampire heads when he gets the chance.
 

Knight Captain Kerr

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May 27, 2011
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I was playing Vampire: The Masquerade as a Gangrel and our Coterie (2 Gangrel and a Malkavian) got kidnapped by a group of hunters and put in cells in a church. Naturally all our weapons had been taken away too. We weren't the only ones who were kidnapped though. There were other vampires there, an NPC vampire and we got introduced to a new PC in the form of a Brujah. There were also humans there who were kidnapped for some reason and werewolves. In Old World of Darkness Werewolves hate Vampires, but I talked about how we should really put our differences aside so we can get out of here. It was something we managed to do earlier with a different group of werewolves to deal with Sabbat. The other vampires agreed to it, the humans agreed to it and the werewolves appeared to agree to it. But the werewolves were lying dicks. They got out of their cells and then went around killing everyone, humans and vampires. They seemed to care more about killing us than escaping. Anyway one of them came into the cell with me, my fellow Gangrel and the Malkavian. My vampire knew Protean and how to turn into a cat in particular, so I tried turning into a cat and running under his legs. It didn't work, I didn't turn into a cat and the GM said I ended up underneath his, genitals. So having no weapons and being in a cell with something that wanted to kill us I did the only thing I could think of, I bit the werewolf in the testicles. The other players winced at that. The werewolf was naturally angry, so he picked me up and held me in front of him at which point I spat the pulp that was in left my mouth in his face. It really pissed off the werewolf and made him not think and focus on me so we managed to overcome the werewolves and escape from them. But the game fell apart shortly afterwards, we didn't even get out of the church before the GM stopped running it.
 

RJ 17

The Sound of Silence
Nov 27, 2011
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Making it beyond the opening cutscene in FFX. Hey-ohhhhh! :p

Sorry, just couldn't resist. As for table-top stuff, that's easy. Whenever I was DM, there was always a chance for the appearance of a rare, mystical, mysterious creature.


Now, LFB was a strange and fickle creature. Some say that it is actually a god of mischief that, for whatever reason, insists upon taking the form of a cute lil' baby seal. Others believe it to be a god of fortune and luck, considering the fact that when he shows up he has a tendency to cough up rare loot if you give him some snuggles and rub his belly. The truth is impossible to tell.

But yeah, every now and then I'd have this cute lil' bastard show up in one of my campaigns. He was utterly indestructible, could one-shot any character if they dared try to attack him, and over all just liked being cute and playful. As I said, though, his true purpose was as a loot dispenser. Sometimes you might get something that utterly breaks the game (such as having an I Win button to press to receive a bunch of gold, exp, and the head of the final boss of the campaign) sometimes it might be something utterly useless (such as the Rubber Ball of Justice: "Hey, at least it bounces...") You never know what kind of silliness he'll bring to the table, but all the people I played with quickly grew to love the little guy and eagerly hoped for his appearance. For starters: because he's so damn cute. But also because more often than not you'll get at least some kind of upgrade for your character if you play with him and treat him nice.
 

Krustosaurus

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Mar 6, 2013
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Due to the fumble rules we were using at the time I managed to kill myself with my own lightsaber. This was shortly followed by Luke Skywalker doing the same. The GM decided to retcon our deaths and change the fumble rules since that meant his plot wasn't going to work out... Which plot? The plot that had us all instantly killed by an evil Luke Skywalker. My character was then resurrected along with another, with its missing parts being replaced by robotic ones. So my character was a purple ewok jedi with robotic eyes and legs. What a mess.
 

JacksonDemolition

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Mar 4, 2014
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In Earthbound, in the Cave of the Past. Two of the most hardest enemies came against me. What did I do? Jacko and his friends tried to get away- and did. I was so WTF. When I try it before against enemies, I try in vain but it doesn't work. BUT IT WAS THE FIRST TRY. RIGHT OFF THE FUCKING BAT.
 

KoudelkaMorgan

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Jul 31, 2009
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Well in Skyrim you can grab a bucket or pot, place it carefully over an npc's head as they stand there. and proceed to strip naked and steal all their stuff. Technically, you could also take their clothes off but that would just be weird ._.

My only experience with DnD involved being invited to a group of my friend's friends, making my first character beforehand all careful like, and then waiting for over an hr to do anything. Then I do, and my character gets dragged out of the inn and raped by a random guy and set on fire. I had to remind them that since my character was a fire elf (or whatever) she was immune to fire (I think). Thus ended my turn and my DnD adventures.

I'm pretty sure real DnD uses dice, has rules, and isn't a group of teenage dickwads with nothing better to do than tell a really boring story where nothing happens.

It would explain its popularity a bit better.

That was like 20 years ago though, so I doubt I'll be pulled into PnP RPGs again anytime soon as it would be kinda sad unless there were girls involved. I mean a group of teenage boys playing DnD, is normal. But there's probably nothing like a sausagefest of 30 somethings playing pretend, taking orders from a guy behind a small cardboard fence to make you feel awesome about your life right?

*gets lynched* x_x
 

Godzillarich(aka tf2godz)

Get the point
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Apr 14, 2020
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I'm new to this role-playing thing but I think I got a decent one.

So I was playing A barbarian in pathfinder: rise of the runelords(This was my first time playing a role-playing game) when I decided to be a dumb-ass and split from the group, to make a long story short I was on islands facing down 15 goblins. I managed to kill three of them but I was running low on health so I said fuck it and jumped in the water trying to get away. Then I got unbelievably lucky all 12 of the remaining goblins tried to swim after me(and keep in mind I think all they needed to do was roll a seven or higher) but all 12 of them botched their roles up trying to chase me so they drowned before they could catch up to me. so I inadvertently killed half of the goblins in the Castle. I think it was the luckiest I have ever been in my entire life.