What's the weirdest thing you've ever heard someone say IRL?
- Thread starter Sean Hollyman
- Start date
It was a very surreal experience to me (living in England and learning about Hitler every year of primary and high school) when I had to explain to my girlfriend about the holocaust and whohazabaza1 said:
Hitler was, as she was raised in an Arabic country where they pretty much deny the existence of jews. She was really horrified, but it was just so bizarre meeting somebody who didn't know about him.
That's because you don't have the right sense of humour. Your friend should have said yes.Blondefool said:
OT:
My girlfriend at the time I was about to have sex with her asked me:
Did you get permission from the mothership?
"It feels a bit wrong to have a little girl's body parts spread out on the table in front of me."
Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. . .
Granted, he was talking about a doll. Or something. Not sure I want to know. He's a bit messed up in the head, you see. Like most of my friends.
Well, that's the weirdest thing I've heard SOMEONE ELSE say. Apparently, I've said even weirder things. Way more often, too. But that is still just so fucked up. . . also, during that same conversation, we (me and some other friends) find out that he (the dude who said the quote) managed to get banned from 4chan. Yea, something is SERIOUSLY wrong in his head. <.<
Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. . .
Granted, he was talking about a doll. Or something. Not sure I want to know. He's a bit messed up in the head, you see. Like most of my friends.
Well, that's the weirdest thing I've heard SOMEONE ELSE say. Apparently, I've said even weirder things. Way more often, too. But that is still just so fucked up. . . also, during that same conversation, we (me and some other friends) find out that he (the dude who said the quote) managed to get banned from 4chan. Yea, something is SERIOUSLY wrong in his head. <.<
While attending a party in highschool:
"Oh my god, Vegemite burns my pussy!"
The Vegemite thread reminded me of that glorious night... *sigh* Good times... Good times...
"Oh my god, Vegemite burns my pussy!"
The Vegemite thread reminded me of that glorious night... *sigh* Good times... Good times...
This happened a while back now.
Sitting in class working on my end of year project, we had to choose a piece of human tech. and explain how it works, its history, such as that. I decided to chose to do mine on the howitzer and the person next to me chose to do the machine gun. It was about three days into the project, he turns to me and asks this:
"I don't get it. Why does Powerpoint think that it is spelled wrong?"
So I turn to see what he was talking about and kindly tell him that there is no t in the word. What word was he so perplexed at you may ask? He was trying to spell the word Nazi by spelling it Natzi.
Sitting in class working on my end of year project, we had to choose a piece of human tech. and explain how it works, its history, such as that. I decided to chose to do mine on the howitzer and the person next to me chose to do the machine gun. It was about three days into the project, he turns to me and asks this:
"I don't get it. Why does Powerpoint think that it is spelled wrong?"
So I turn to see what he was talking about and kindly tell him that there is no t in the word. What word was he so perplexed at you may ask? He was trying to spell the word Nazi by spelling it Natzi.
My ex once told me: " Well if you don't know why I'm angry i don't see the reason why I should tell you". I mean come on !
An old classmate of mine asked some pretty stupid stuff when we were 15 I guess. She's a very sweet girl, but not very bright. Luckily she managed a modelling job xD. Here are a couple I remember.
"I once tried to castrate a spider but I couldn't find the testicles." in biology class
" What are the tubes in the ground for ?" About sewers.
" Seeing that you have to change your clock when you travel the earth, why hasn't anyone gone to a place where time is further than us, write the lottery numbers and the gone back to our place ?" Yes, she thought time travelling was a common thing ^^. What a sweet girl, but still. The facepalms...
An old classmate of mine asked some pretty stupid stuff when we were 15 I guess. She's a very sweet girl, but not very bright. Luckily she managed a modelling job xD. Here are a couple I remember.
"I once tried to castrate a spider but I couldn't find the testicles." in biology class
" What are the tubes in the ground for ?" About sewers.
" Seeing that you have to change your clock when you travel the earth, why hasn't anyone gone to a place where time is further than us, write the lottery numbers and the gone back to our place ?" Yes, she thought time travelling was a common thing ^^. What a sweet girl, but still. The facepalms...
"We did not buy your brother the pepper spray. What chance do you have getting the slingshot?"
Mom, I think Bambi accurately expresses my hidden desires about you."
Mom, I think Bambi accurately expresses my hidden desires about you."
"If Athiests dont believe in the after life then why do they have funerals"
I believe thats may be the dumbest thing i've heard anyone say, what was worse is that people agreed with the woman who said it.
I believe thats may be the dumbest thing i've heard anyone say, what was worse is that people agreed with the woman who said it.
This is sadly common as isA Random Reader said:
can you prove red exist? No! Because you can never prove red is real to a blind man! because he can not see it and the only way to know if something is red is to see it!
That is absurd red has a set frequency, you believe in "colors" of light you can not see. You own a microwave ans sun screen both of which utilize non viable light.
all light is visible you fool! Also if you can objectively define red do so! ha ha you can't
It is light ~480?400 terahertz. And you just keep thinking UV rays are fake like a moron if you want to bro.
Seriously, you saw that Lewis Black concert live?Clive Howlitzer said:
Well, if we extend it to things we've seen on TV:
"I want you to take my ashes, put them in a douche bottle and run me through one more time."
Two hipsters talking in Mcdonalds:
Hipster 1 "That's awesome"
Hipster 2 "That's like a double edged sword. That's like a double edged katana!"
point one: they were discussing the dollar menu
Point two: As a slashing weapon, katanas don't benefit from being double edged.
We were all speachless.
Close second, sophmore year of college we were playing video games late one night when we hear a couple arguing from the parking lot. After about 20 minutes the man screams: "I CAN'T HEAR YOU, I'M TOO DRUNK." I love college.
Hipster 1 "That's awesome"
Hipster 2 "That's like a double edged sword. That's like a double edged katana!"
point one: they were discussing the dollar menu
Point two: As a slashing weapon, katanas don't benefit from being double edged.
We were all speachless.
Close second, sophmore year of college we were playing video games late one night when we hear a couple arguing from the parking lot. After about 20 minutes the man screams: "I CAN'T HEAR YOU, I'M TOO DRUNK." I love college.
If we're allowing internet suggestions (to deviate a little) this complete dumbass once said "scampi is lobster tail, not a kind of animal"Daystar Clarion said:Huh, so it is.Cavan said:Scampi also refers to the small lobster that it comes from.Daystar Clarion said:First thing that comes to mind...
'I don't really like scampi, I think they're ugly and I don't like their feeding habits.'
Wut?
Scampi is lobster tail, not a kind of animal
Didn't know there were multiple meanings for the name.
You learn something new every day
BUUUUURN
Nah, you're a cool guy.
Seriously? Hmm... well, we were watching this video in my Year 11 english class in preparation for an assignment:
And a girl sat near me asked the teacher if it was based off of a true story. (TL;DW, it's about a bird man that flies down from the moon, steals a kid's eyes and flies back to the moon to feed them to his babies).
Also: "I actually think those fake tans that look orange look more attractive than a real brown tan". I'm sorry, everyone's entitled to their opinion, but that doesn't change the fact some opinions are utterly wrong. This is one of them. If you want to fuck a Wotsit, that's your choice, but you're a fucking moron.
And finally (from a fellow college student): "If we're in a recession, why don't we just print more money?"
Back in the days when Swine Flu was going around. An girl (eighteen, by the way) asked my I.T teacher.
"When you catch Swine Flu, does it kill you instantly?"
What makes it worse was her friends around her responded with comments like...
"I think it does, it sounds horrible!"
I nearly slammed my head on the desk...
"When you catch Swine Flu, does it kill you instantly?"
What makes it worse was her friends around her responded with comments like...
"I think it does, it sounds horrible!"
I nearly slammed my head on the desk...
Generally speaking, my uncle likes to *pretend* he knows about computers, when he pretty much ignores the very first thing about how to put one together. About once a year, I get a phone call about how he got his hands on a "Super-Core Pentium with eighty gigahertz and THREE megs of RAM and a one-petaflop hard drive! And the video card? Oh, man! The video card! SO MANY VIDEOS ON IT!"
Granted, the guy's usually drunk when he calls me, but my reaction is almost always a variation on a facepalm or "Lolwut?".
Then I show up, and realize the so-called Killer Rig to End All Killer Rigs is another nicotine-stained beige horror from the late nineties. I keep reminding him to make sure his rig can actually run the games he ends up buying, but he never listens.
So, well... A free copy of Civ V for me! Yay!
Granted, the guy's usually drunk when he calls me, but my reaction is almost always a variation on a facepalm or "Lolwut?".
Then I show up, and realize the so-called Killer Rig to End All Killer Rigs is another nicotine-stained beige horror from the late nineties. I keep reminding him to make sure his rig can actually run the games he ends up buying, but he never listens.
So, well... A free copy of Civ V for me! Yay!