What's your favourite Yahtzee quote?

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dfcrackhead

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Apr 14, 2009
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hitman555z said:
i dont remember the quote exactly, but he said something like "as the ___ says/said/ses to the ___ wheres the fucking point?"

anyone know where thats from? its been bothering me for a long time now lol
Someone else said it in this thread, and its

dlawnro said:
"As the leper once said to his mistress, 'Where's the point!?'"
So which video is that from so we can all learn?
 

rancher of monsters

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Oct 31, 2010
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America is a fat teenage virgin, lying on her front on her bed, staring up at her Edward and Bella posters, while crossing and uncrossing her ankles, dreamily writing creepy stories about having filthy, monkey sex with the quiet Eastern-European boy down the road. And the child psychologist hired by her concerned parents gives the following advice: What this girl needs is a good, hard, dicking.
 

subject_87

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Jul 2, 2010
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"The worst and most offensive mishandling of an intellectual property since the Schindler's List Easy-Bake oven."

It's so wrong and messed up, but so hilarious.
 

jakechance

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Dec 27, 2010
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I can't remember it exactly but it's something along the lines of him complaining of why everyone who writes to him thinks he comes from some magical fairyland. I'm pretty sure it was in response to his style being copied by someone else.

Does anyone remember which episode this was in?
 

Generic_Username

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Dec 16, 2010
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Some of the unmentioned ones:

"Her actions don't seem to have any connection to sentient thought or social context. It's like she's got Alzheimer's or something." (on FFXIII's Vanille)

"Put your hand on a stove for 20 hours and yeah, you'll probably stop feeling the pain, but you'll have done serious damage to yourself." (on FFXIII "getting better later" - dunno why I like this one, I just do)

"It's like trying to jerk off a castrated dog; he WON'T thank you for it and all you'll get is wrist exercise." (can't remember where that one's from)
 

necronmm

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Dec 14, 2010
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"As Thomas you can shoot more accurately, throw lassos and climb ledges. As Ray, you can open the pause menu, restart the mission and choose Thomas instead YOU FUCKING IDIOT"
 

redisforever

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Oct 5, 2009
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Lem0nade Inlay said:
"Absolutely sub-lime from start to finish, and I will jam forks into my eyes if I ever use those words to describe anything ever again. You might say it's stupid to love a video game but *raises middle fingers* fuck you Portal's great and if you don't like it you must be STUPID."
*end credits*


xRagnarok19 said:
"Yes maybe I'll skip this level, then I'll eat a few French Fancies, and maybe take a lovely scented bath to clean my massive vagina. Now get out the fuckin way this shit will not beat me."
Which video is that one from? I know I've heard it but I forget what game...
It's from the 2.5D episode, about 'Splosion Man. I think.
 

JoeCool385

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May 10, 2010
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Four pages, and I still haven't seen my favorite. He once commented that something was "shakier than a Paul Greengrass movie projected on a fat jogger's tits." Not sure which review it's from, but I keep trying to find ways to work that into conversation.

Paul Greengrass [http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0339030/], btw, is the director of Borne Supremacy and Bourne Ultimatum.
 
Aug 19, 2010
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"... I mean,a gun that shoots shuriken and lightning, it can only be cooler if it had tits and was lit on fire.

"if you are an elf the dialogue goes:
Hello, you are an elf.
I guess if i'm human it goes:
Hello, you are an ASS-HOLE"
 

amoamaremetallum

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Nov 28, 2010
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So the baddies said to themselves, "Hey, the one guy who could threaten our operation is in a different country and isn't the slightest bit interested in our stupid conspiracy. F*** that, let's go shoot at him!"
 

FC Groningen

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Apr 1, 2009
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"Burnout is a game that hates players with a passion. If it was facist dictator it would build concentration camps for players and what's more, he would lay every brick personally with a mixture of cement and his own blood, that's how much he hates you."

"The day that I spend 70 Australian Dollars on an expansion pack, is the day that I swallow razorwire, pull the end out of my ass and floss myself to death".

"It's like a prototype human was putting the finishing touch on his wheel when a mammoth charged right at him. Left with no choice, he jumped on the wheel down the valley to safety. Yes, life was tough in Thatcher's Britain, but do you know what would make life hard? When the wheel, the valley and the mammoth would subsequently explode.