When Star Wars Merchandising Goes Horribly Awry

John Keefer

Devilish Rogue
Aug 12, 2013
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When Star Wars Merchandising Goes Horribly Awry



There have been some crazy merchandising efforts to capitalize on the Star Wars franchise, but I think this one cuts to the heart of silly.

Star Wars has had some great merchandise. Pajamas for kids (and adults), figurines, Legos .. you name it, it has probably somehow, some way, had a Star Wars label attached to it.

But this new thing is either incredibly creative, or just another marketing ploy to get kitchen geeks to drop $120 for their product. Coming in late August, available from The Fowndry [http://www.thefowndry.com/products/star-wars-x-wing-knife-block], you can use the Force to protect your kitchen with a ... wait for it ... an X-Wing Knife Block. The five stainless steel kitchen knives are arranged creatively in the shape of a diving X-Wing fighter. But sadly, the "block" is only a "chrome-effect plastic knife holder". But if this intrigues you, then you can pre-order it now. You'll get a cook's knife, a bread knife, a carving knife, a utility knife, and a paring knife.

The whole thing seems a bit cheesy for $120. And frankly, I'd prefer a lightsaber cheese cutter instead.




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CriticalMiss

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Jan 18, 2013
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It looks kind of cool. I guess? But knowing it is made of plastic probably means they are cheapo knives too and makes it less of a must buy. But pair that thing up with a Millenium Falcon chopping board and drop the price and then we'll talk.
 

Fasckira

Dice Tart
Oct 22, 2009
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I was just looking at getting a new knife block yesterday as it happens, but think Im going to try and get my hands on this one instead:


The thing about that Xwing block is I imagine I'd be continually trying to put knives back in the wrong slot.
 

Jadak

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Nov 4, 2008
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Not really sure how this is 'awry' at all, really. Let alone horribly. Kind of lame that the knife block is just plastic, but still kind of a cool thing. If it was cheaper I might even consider it, depends on the quality of the knives.
 

DTWolfwood

Better than Vash!
Oct 20, 2009
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$120 for a plastic knife block?! wtf! yeah no, thats too much for plastic.

But you know the hardcore fans will eat this up lol
 

putowtin

I'd like to purchase an alcohol!
Jul 7, 2010
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Someone bought me this one


Sure it looked cool, but the knives, oh god they couldn't cut for shit... looks like this is buy the same manufacturer

[sub][sub] Oh and I still loath you Lucas for selling my childhood to the highest bidder... so fuck you[/sub][/sub]
 

Neverhoodian

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Apr 2, 2008
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Oh John, you have much to learn about the marketing insanity that is Star Wars merchandise:

Jar Jar Binks lollipop

C-3PO tape dispenser

Tauntaun sleeping bag
Compared to these abominations, an X-Wing knife block seems downright conservative.
 

GaltarDude1138

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Jan 19, 2011
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I think it was in response to the highly-successful Starship Enterprise Pizza Cutter. This is just another shot fired in the nerdy silverware war.

 

Lieju

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Jan 4, 2009
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I think it's biggest problem is it doesn't look like an X-wing enough.

At least I wouldn't have recognized it.
You're better off buying actually good knives, but it's not the most horrible piece of merchandise I've ever seen.
 

Micalas

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Mar 5, 2011
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Neverhoodian said:
Jar Jar Binks lollipop

C-3PO tape dispenser
Compared to these abominations, an X-Wing knife block seems downright conservative.​


That lollipop is fucking terrifying O_O

GaltarDude1138 said:
I think it was in response to the highly-successful Starship Enterprise Pizza Cutter. This is just another shot fired in the nerdy silverware war.

I need this in my life.​
 

epicdwarf

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Apr 9, 2014
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So what is the point of this? A star wars knife block exists so it gets a fucking "news" story?
 

antidonkey

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Dec 10, 2009
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GaltarDude1138 said:
I think it was in response to the highly-successful Starship Enterprise Pizza Cutter. This is just another shot fired in the nerdy silverware war.

I have one of those......it's pretty damned sweet. It's also very heavy and sharp. You could probably kill someone with it.
 

Kuredan

Hingle McCringleberry
Dec 4, 2012
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Nothing kills when I am cooking so much as cheap or bad (dull) knives. The knife block is cute, but it's cheap in its construction, and I am betting the knives are not up to snuff either. I mean I don't demand handmade, folded steel Japanese knives, but 120 is a little on the low end to buy a good set. When I cook at friend's houses, I usually bring my own. Have knives, will travel; Will cook for food.
 

Clovus

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Mar 3, 2011
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GaltarDude1138 said:
I think it was in response to the highly-successful Starship Enterprise Pizza Cutter. This is just another shot fired in the nerdy silverware war.

That seems pretty cool. I don't really need a pizza cutter to be high quality and I rarely use them, so why not have it Star Trek themed?

The big problem with the knife block is that it is sure to come with a bunch of terrible knives. I use my main kitchen knife every day, so I went ahead and paid for a good one.
 

Grabehn

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Sep 22, 2012
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Fasckira said:
I was just looking at getting a new knife block yesterday as it happens, but think Im going to try and get my hands on this one instead:


The thing about that Xwing block is I imagine I'd be continually trying to put knives back in the wrong slot.
MY GOD do I want this one now... Damn you. And agreed, the "positioning" of the knives doesn't looki like it would tell you much about where each one goes.
 

lacktheknack

Je suis joined jewels.
Jan 19, 2009
19,316
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$120 for five knives and a knife block? Those are some cheap-ass knives...

One of my Mom's good knives cost $60 alone.
 

kailus13

Soon
Mar 3, 2013
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Neverhoodian said:
Jar Jar Binks lollipop
How on earth did that get beyond the planning stages? "Yes, we actually think asking children to suck on Jar Jars' tongue is a good idea".


Tauntaun sleeping bag
I'm slightly disappointed that the insides aren't red. Props to the marketing department for actually dressing the dude up like a rebel though.