When Your D&D group is a bunch of dipsh*ts!

Darkfreak

New member
Aug 14, 2009
132
0
0
Today I played D&D with my friends and we had an okay time exept one thing...
They are really, really anoying!
Some days are better than others and today wasn't quite their worst but they can be like two retarded walruses atempting to comunicate with each other by claping their flippers and barking random noises. I don't mean to complain, I'm lucky to have a D&D group with enough people to play a published adventure< I just need some help controlling them.
Also I should specifie that only two out of our five players are toatl numskulls who will refer to as "Flip" and "Bark" as too not offend them and to quote the two walruses at the beggining of this thread.
I have come up with some solutions, most of which are pretty good but I want some more advice.
-first off our one female party member wasn't their and for some odd reason (wink wink) they act alot more mature and less destructive to the group as a whole when she is around.
-Flip and Bark feed off each other and though somtimes Flip trys to act mature Bark doubles his annoyance.
-Flip is a really good player as a hole if not a little hyper while Bark on the other hand has no experiance of the game even though he has played more than our 3rd most experianced player and Flip seems to have the need to hold his hand trough the whole fiasco like a mother at a county fair.
-Bark has a strange problam of not being able to stop touching everything. For instance he will stack his dice into a tower and watch them fall for a hour and a half before he notices that it's his turn. He will pick up his dice and drop them repeatitively to a degree that I can't hear the person talking across the table. He also puts his feet on the table and shakes it so it is hard to read. I've tryed a few things hear such a making a rule that dice can only be touched when needed (worked a little) or just flat out telling him to stop, which he takes as a straight forward que to do it more and louder.Much of this leads me to belive he has ADHD.
-Flip on the other hand just has trouble listening. For example I will read aloud text or roleplay and then 10 seconds later it's "Wait? What happened?". Then I usually end up repeating it.
They seem to act a little better after we take a break but that dosen't last for long. Both Flip or Bark act fine by themselves but when you get then together it's walrus time.
One thing a realized after all this was that I need to get my players more involved. Unfortunatly I don't know how to do this. Some ideas I've had were giving the palyers jobs but I don't know what.

Help me...

Please!
 

Cannon_Fodder

New member
Apr 3, 2010
3
0
0
Interesting problem that your friends pose. It definitely sounds like Bark may have ADHD, I actually have ADD myself and I tend to stack things as well.
Your best bet would be to maybe talk to Bark and Flip outside of the game and outline the issues your having and see if you can work something out, if they are decent people and it seems like they are they should understand.
 

Da Joz

New member
May 19, 2009
938
0
0
Well i suggest you have the female player there as often as possible. Also there are places where people get together and play tabletop RPGs (comic shops etc.), maybe if you guys start going there they will act more mature and maybe you can meet new people and make some more friends.
 

Darkfreak

New member
Aug 14, 2009
132
0
0
Da Joz said:
Well i suggest you have the female player there as often as possible. Also there are places where people get together and play tabletop RPGs (comic shops etc.), maybe if you guys start going there they will act more mature and maybe you can meet new people and make some more friends.
Only problem with that is that the closest comic/game shop if a 20 minuit drive and the female's dad is really overprotective. Plus none of us can drive since we're only in middle school.
 

Darkfreak

New member
Aug 14, 2009
132
0
0
Swollen Goat said:
Darkfreak said:
the female's dad is really overprotective
Just tell him you play D&D. He'll never worry about his daughter with you again.

[sub]I'm so sorry, I couldn't resist...I actually have nothing against D&D and would play it if I had the skill/friends[/sub]

I don't know if there's much you can do about these two other than not inviting them to the same gaming session (which sounds like it may be difficult due to lack of players), or flat out telling them they act like idiots together and if they keep it up, they're out. And follow through on it.
Lol. Nice one and I really don't mind. Thing about the other 2 is that they are both my friends and don't want to have to say that. Also then we wouldn't have enough players.
 

Luke5515

New member
Aug 25, 2008
1,197
0
0
If Bark keeps doing the feet thing, tell him that the party is now stuck in the epicenter of an other worldly earthquake and give the whole party damage untill it stops. If he does it again, a large object falls off of a building during the earthquake and knocks him out for a while.
Or just crossbow bolt to the chest and triple crit and kill him.
 

Da_Schwartz

New member
Jul 15, 2008
1,849
0
0
Try letting the experienced one, "flip" was it? DM. That will but him in contorl and split up the dynamic duo. IDK worth a shot..see what happens, and go from there. I mean if it was my group id just tell them not to play anymore. Or maybe (no offenese) they don't ,ike it when you DM for whatever reason and they're simply messin with you. So yea let one of them have a go at it.
 

Darkfreak

New member
Aug 14, 2009
132
0
0
Da_Schwartz said:
Try letting the experienced one, "flip" was it? DM. That will but him in contorl and split up the dynamic duo. IDK worth a shot..see what happens, and go from there. I mean if it was my group id just tell them not to play anymore. Or maybe (no offenese) they don't ,ike it when you DM for whatever reason and they're simply messin with you. So yea let one of them have a go at it.
Sounds like a soild idea with just one problem:
Flip can't DM worth crap.
He is a really big power player and by that I mean he really zones out when theres nothing to kill. We agread that once I finshed the published adventure he could DM but he then told me what he was going to do as a DM and I got kind of leary. He only likes fightng so he basically said flat out that all we would be doing is fghting nonstop and never have any role playing. He also dosen't like that you can't see the monster's stats which I try to tell him is so that it feels more like a fight will a monster than a fight with a bunch of stats and a bag of HP. He said to the whole group that once he's DMing he would tell everyone all the stats and I said the reason stated above and he said he would just make a house rule for it.
Bark being inexperianced and a little on the duller side dosen't know AC from reflex and probably wouldn't care exept for the monster's HP (Which Flip said he would also tell).
One reason for Flp being such a power player is the way he started: Player's Handbook and quickstart rules (that he didn't read).
So for Flip: DM = :(
 

Nexuswolf

New member
Apr 3, 2010
33
0
0
Hmm, I've faced some of those problems before, so lets see what I can suggest.

Firstly I should mention power gaming (as in min/maxing stats etc) to me is fine, so long as the player plays well with the others and RPing his character properly, not just hitting stuff.

To get them RPing start offering EXP for it. Tell them you going to offer it, but don't tell them when they get it, same goes with EXP for splattering things, give it them at the end of each adventure. Just keep a note of how well each player RPs, as well as the kills, and after a few games they'll be wanting some of that RP EXP to level up quicker.

As for monster stats/hp, change the creatures, give them character levels, make them stronger, bigger etc. This'll keep the players on their feet, they see an ogre, but they wont assume it's the bog standard ogre. They will start asking questions like "What armour has it got?", "How strong?" etc, this also means they'll really need those skills like spot, certain knowledges and sense motive (lets you gauge how strong a creature is), this is assuming your using 3.5ed, not bothered with 4ed.

That should also help keep them engaged. Other things you can do is encourage players to think outside the box, make maps for themselves, one player should have a wagon of some description for the loot and maintain it, and the horses that come with it. Tracking loot is another thing, no player wants to go without their fair share, but giving the players limited potions will mean they want to start passing them around, the cleric will get a bit pissy if scrolls of healing count as his fair share etc.

You can also real world time things, if the players only have 5mins in game to prepare, sort or solve something, give the players only 5mins to discuss what they want to do.

Hope this helps ^_^
 

ThePoodonkis

New member
Apr 22, 2008
1,718
0
0
This. [http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2010/3/29/]

That, or talk to them? Tell them that they're being obnoxious, and ask them to take the thing seriously.
 

Darkfreak

New member
Aug 14, 2009
132
0
0
Ghostwise said:
Well you're in middle school so I wouldn't expect any degree of structure or concentration for any extended period of time. Perhaps if you are all still doing it when you are in high school it won't be so bad.
I can only hope.
 

Zannah

New member
Jan 27, 2010
1,081
0
0
a) Force them to roleply - throw in enemeis or situations, that can only be solved by talking your way out, or as mentioned before, create situations where roleplaying offers a considerably greater reward, than just hitting stuff.

b)Make Powergaming cool. Most people powergame, because they want to be uber-leet. No system offers opportunities to combine powerplay and roleplaying to unique badassery just as D&d does - if you and your friends manage to get into that state, where powergaming is merely a tool to enable your character to show off in his role, people will pay attention, and people will roleplay, if only to show off the most.
 

Kuilui

New member
Apr 1, 2010
448
0
0
well one your in middle school. Middle school is nuts because everyone is hitting puberty so they act odd. Which MAY explain the behavior of your two moronic friends. Also what I don't think you are fully abusing to bend them to your will is you are the DM right? So every time they ignore you or don't listen or act like the tossers you claim them to be do something horrible to their characters. Its like a dog when you first get it. You tell him to go outside to make a wee or what have you and he chooses to use the floor, you yell at him and smack him over the head with a newspaper and he stops. Its a great method. So next time Tosser A decides to stack dice or be a jackhole suddenly his character falls in a trap or gets mugged in his sleep for his best stuff. You get the idea. Make them fear you. Also since your one friend just loves to kill stuff and it seems he thinks hes all powerful and arrogant create some monster to knock his ego down a peg or two.
 

Nexuswolf

New member
Apr 3, 2010
33
0
0
Kuilui said:
...Its like a dog when you first get it. You tell him to go outside to make a wee or what have you and he chooses to use the floor, you yell at him and smack him over the head with a newspaper and he stops. Its a great method. So next time Tosser A decides to stack dice or be a jackhole suddenly his character falls in a trap or gets mugged in his sleep for his best stuff. You get the idea. Make them fear you. Also since your one friend just loves to kill stuff and it seems he thinks hes all powerful and arrogant create some monster to knock his ego down a peg or two.
Problem with this method, and it happens with dogs too, is that negative reinforcement can cause them to fight back, and this could be a little disastrous to the group as a whole. It can work much faster then positive reinforcement though.

also the problem with making a creature designed to whoop his ass is that they could end up defeating it. Me and my party have managed to defeat a bunch of bugbears, ogres and a barghest, with class levels, twice out challenge rating, which has immensely fun I can tell you :D, but the fight had been balanced by our DM who had been gauging what we can manage with several fights before hand. You also don't want to be making them too hard or you could end up taking the rest of the party out when they've done nothing wrong.
 

Darkfreak

New member
Aug 14, 2009
132
0
0
Well I think I have a solution. For Bark he always need something to do espencially in combat so he is going to track initiative to keep he occupied. For Flip who has trouble with the roleplaying/non-combat encounters he is going to be the note traker for importeant events/names. Solid plan anyway. I'll get back to you guys on it.
 

Seejur

New member
Mar 31, 2010
14
0
0
I am sorry to hear, but the power player are the hardest to change (and I am one of them sadly :( ).
The only suggestion I can give is try to modify the story to involve more deeply the players. Add some beautiful NPG lady that fall in love and then is somehow in trouble. In few words push their emotions towards the story if possible.
For bark I have no idea on how to behave... it seems to me he simply does not care about the story.

Another idea: is possible maybe to involve another female friend (maybe friend of you female friend)? possibly without an overprotective father?
Or to play in the girl house, so maybe the father feels more safe?