Where would you build your evil fortress?
- Thread starter Leemaster777
- Start date
NOO! INTERNET! YOU HAVE BETRAYED ME! CURSE YOU!!! CURSE YOU TO THE DEPTHS OF HELL!lacktheknack said:
Let's see. I'm evil in the sense that I don't give a shit about humans. I do, however care about Earth because I take care of my property, so I'll have a bunch of machines in the sky maintaining the optimum temperature and air quality. I'd set myself up underwater with a series of bases to monitor thermal vents and clathrate deposits and also steal oil so humans can't fuck up my oceans.
I'd probably fuck with the doomsday preppers because none of them expected a supervillain and develop sliding technology because I could probably find a way to adapt it for space exploration.
As for minions, I have machines, maybe some sentient fish/plants/lobsters. I'm not screwing around with these machines either, none of those three laws or anything, I keep it simple: Obey my orders. AI's nothing to worry about either cause if the prime directive is to do what I say, then they aren't going to start thinking about not following orders.
I'd probably fuck with the doomsday preppers because none of them expected a supervillain and develop sliding technology because I could probably find a way to adapt it for space exploration.
As for minions, I have machines, maybe some sentient fish/plants/lobsters. I'm not screwing around with these machines either, none of those three laws or anything, I keep it simple: Obey my orders. AI's nothing to worry about either cause if the prime directive is to do what I say, then they aren't going to start thinking about not following orders.
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I HAVE TRIUMPHED!Shocksplicer said:
Don't trust the internet to be on your side. Unless you want Rule 34. It'll never let you down on Rule 34.
Why, I'd get myself an undisclosed island in the South Pacific, carve out Headquarters of Evil for my own use out of the limestone and decorate the whole thing in gaudy sixties' Superspy fashion.
Then I'd hire a designer to have a retro-chic Haute Couture jumpsuit designed for my personal use, try and get in at least one vicious fight so I earn the requisite Lone Badass Scar across my face - and get a white cat I could pet while idly plotting out my future world domination.
Only problem is I'm allergic to cats.
Fuck.
Then I'd hire a designer to have a retro-chic Haute Couture jumpsuit designed for my personal use, try and get in at least one vicious fight so I earn the requisite Lone Badass Scar across my face - and get a white cat I could pet while idly plotting out my future world domination.
Only problem is I'm allergic to cats.
Fuck.
I task you with finding rule 34 of somebody vomiting Corgis.lacktheknack said:
If you cannot...
Rule 35...
VICTORY IS AT HAND!
My evil fortress would be built in the ocean and be mobile. I would then use its awful fluid dynamics and powerful engines to crush coastal cities with tsunami's caused by it's acceleration and deceleration.
...Shocksplicer said:
I did it.
...
I did it.
GOD DAMN IT, I DID IT, NOW SOMEONE PLEASE CLAW MY EYES OUT.
My evil base would be a submerged base that is constantly traveling through the world's oceans, making the exact location difficult to pinpoint.
<in throes of agony, emails all your viewscreens in your evil base the relevant picture>Shocksplicer said:
Ah... ahaha... AHAHAHHAHAAHAHAAA... AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!
Somewhere in the arctic, guarded by intelligent polar bears wearing power armor and explosive kamikaze penguins flying small jets.
Inside my personal pocket dimension. 1. It's completely undiscoverable and 2. I can deploy units and access storage from anywhere.