Who have you rejected, why, and do you regret it?

Bat Vader

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Don't really know why I felt the need to make this thread. Anyway, I will start.

Back when I was going to a community college back in 2010 a classmate of mine would always come up and talk to me about 15 minutes each day which lasted for about two weeks. About a week later she admitted to me that she liked me and I rejected her because I didn't really know her, didn't care to know her, and didn't care about dating(still don't).

Something weird that happened was before I rejected her she asked me if I had ever been on a date before. Kind of an odd question to ask if you ask me. Do I regret rejecting her? No. The day after I rejected her I seen her with another guy and she was acting very affectionate towards him.


I have rejected other people too. Mainly people who wanted to be friends and I didn't care about getting to know any of them. Extreme Social Anxiety and Misanthropy mix pretty well together.

I'm curious if my fellow Escapist users have rejected other and if they regretted it afterwards.
 

DayDark

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Oct 31, 2007
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No, I don't really think i regret rejecting the people I have, it was the best possible outcome
 

iLikeHippos

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I have not once regretted rejecting anyone in my life, and I don't see why I should. I am the kind of guy who will say No 40% of the time, Maybe 49% of the time and Yes 1% of the time. Because I know what I hate, and if something is even less than perfect, it is not worthy of my full support; it just leads to heartbreak and disappointment otherwise.

Props to having Aspergers I guess. Or not.
 

Lil devils x_v1legacy

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May 17, 2011
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I have rejected many men and, no I have never regretted it. I usually never give it a second thought after it happens. Only regret I may have is not rejecting some STRONG enough to make them stop it the first time.
 

Itdoesthatsometimes

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I have rejected quite a few people. Due to not being attracted to them, or something else seeming not right for me with them. About the only one I regret was a woman that was not interested in anything more than sex, I wanted more at the time. I went for a different woman instead. When that ran it's course, I looked up the first woman. I now wanted sex and nothing more. She wanted more by that point. I don't regret my decisions, but the timing was regrettable.
 

MassiveGeek

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Hm, well, I guess I have rejected people. A few times it's been romantic affection, the one I remember the most was an acquaintance that wanted to date me, and when I told her that I wasn't really interested in a relationship, she almost immediately moved onto another mutual friend which made me really not regret telling her no.
A bit of TMI, I have been very unsure about my sexual preferences, especially since a LOT of my friends became sexually active pretty early in life. I realized that I wasn't straight fairly quickly, but I always had this assumption that I had to like something. Everyone does, right? It wasn't until about last year that I heard about asexuality, and I've been significantly less confused about myself since then so to speak.

When it comes to friendships though, I avoid even starting if I feel that I wouldn't get along with or be able to tolerate another person. Not to say that I become downright mean or anything, but I just don't take any initiatives and usually that works pretty well. I can't think of an instance where I regretted not hopping on the friendship-ferry, it would be more that I regret that I can be downright awful at keeping in touch with people that I do like to spend time with. Mostly though they understand and are fine with it, or they also suck at keeping in touch.
 

Fieldy409_v1legacy

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A while ago, I rejected a woman because she was a single mum and also I was honestly shy and intimidated by her forwardness a little. I was terrified of the idea of being thrust straight into a situation where I was like a sort of defacto Dad at such a young age. I see now that fear of being a father figure was ridiculous, its not like I was going to marry her the instant I started dating her and I actually want kids anyway. She seemed like a cool nerd girl who I could have had all sorts of nerdy discussions with too. What was wrong with me?
 

GrumbleGrump

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Bat Vader said:
Don't really know why I felt the need to make this thread. Anyway, I will start.

Back when I was going to a community college back in 2010 a classmate of mine would always come up and talk to me about 15 minutes each day which lasted for about two weeks. About a week later she admitted to me that she liked me and I rejected her because I didn't really know her, didn't care to know her, and didn't care about dating(still don't).

Something weird that happened was before I rejected her she asked me if I had ever been on a date before. Kind of an odd question to ask if you ask me. Do I regret rejecting her? No. The day after I rejected her I seen her with another guy and she was acting very affectionate towards him.


I have rejected other people too. Mainly people who wanted to be friends and I didn't care about getting to know any of them. Extreme Social Anxiety and Misanthropy mix pretty well together.

I'm curious if my fellow Escapist users have rejected other and if they regretted it afterwards.
Uh, she asked you if you've ever been in a date in order to segue into asking you out on a date.

Well, I rejected a girl at a party once, I guess. The moment I met her she inmediately hugged in a rather forward way I'd say. Then she stayed most of the right next to me even when I went to get some cheap sushi at a table. Eventually I started ignoring her, in order to make her go away. Maybe I'm reading too much into this but in any case I found it very annoying. I'm not the kind of guy that has all this "trust" shit really ingrained.

Anyway, no I don't regret it. Besides, you're not going to win me over by saying "hey I'm acting a bit weird cuz I'm on my period", especially if it's one of the first phrases you say to me.
 

Johnny Novgorod

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Feb 9, 2012
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Some girl once walked up to me at a nightclub and asked me if I was with someone. I pointed towards my stupid friends at the dance floor and said I was with them. She just went "Oh", hung around uncomfortably for a few seconds and backed off.

I realized what she'd really meant while I was driving home, and left me wanting to swerve and crash the car into a lighting pole.

That's my unwitting rejection story, kids.
 

viscomica

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Aug 6, 2013
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Hmmm I remember having rejected a man at a club once years ago. He was really persistant and actually harassed me and my friends.
He finally gave up and asked us what was wrong with women so then I told him perhaps women weren't the problem and left.
I don't know if I was rude or not, but I was so fed up at that time I had to say it.
 

Duster

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Jul 15, 2014
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Perhaps one, although it no doubt would have ended belly up, the rest where for the better.
 

sageoftruth

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I did once and I don't think either of us regret it. After all, she was drunk. As for me, I was oblivious to the fact that I was even rejecting her. Real funny story. We were at a smallish party at my place and she said, "Oooh, this is terrible of me. Would you put your arm around me?" I shrugged and went, "Okay." I asked if she was all right and she said, "Just lonely. Do you ever get lonely?"
Completely missing the signs, I said, "Actually, I usually take pretty well to solitude." It wasn't until weeks after the party was over that I realized she had been flirting.
Anyway, like I said, she was drunk, and she also had kids back home, so I'm pretty glad I missed those signs back then.
 

Colour Scientist

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Jul 15, 2009
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I don't think I regret rejecting anyone.


I maybe regret not rejecting some people sooner but, eh, it happens.
 

EeveeElectro

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Aug 3, 2008
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I've rejected a fair few people, none of which I regret doing so. The only regret I do feel is hurting them in the process or doing whatever I did to make them think that I would say yes.

I've had feelings for people which have soon disappeared but theirs for me have lingered, and I felt terrible about that. Neither of us can help our feelings, but still.
 

Frothy Gibblets

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Y'know, thinking about it, I've rejected every single woman who's ever shown interest in me. You would think an overweight guy who looks a liiiiitle bit like a Neanderthal would lap up any attention women were to throw my way, but no. At first maybe I was scared, bollocks I still am scared, of getting close to people, but I could write a whiny venting blog post about woe is me and this is neither the time or the place.

I'd say over the course of my life, 8 women have shown direct, blunt, hammer on anvil like interest in me. I rather respect that approach, as it enables even someone like myself to see the situation. I don't regret rejecting any of these women, whether I was into them or not I would have been a train wreck of a boyfriend, I knew it/know it. I feel somewhat vindicated as the few who I still had some contact with, went on to have happy, fulfilling relationships. Some had kids, some got married.

The couple I regret, are the ones whose interest in me only became apparent long after I'd been ignorant for so long they too had moved on. I would have rejected their advances certainly, I regret the manner in which I did it. I can't imagine what it must be like to be interested in someone only for them to ignore your existence as a sexual being, or partner material. To send them signals that most normal men would pick up on and react to, either positively or negatively, only to be left in limbo by a person who is so wrapped up in their own self hate they can't possibly imagine the little signals are genuine. Still, they also went on to have happy relationships, so my guilt isn't too great.
 

NinjaSniperAssassin

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Sep 19, 2012
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Twice directly, once kinda sorta, and then a couple of the "in hindsight she was totally into me but I didn't realize at the time" accidental rejections.

One of the direct ones I don't regret. Nothing lost there.

The other one I do. She was a good friend, and pretty darn attractive, but I was 15 at the time and wasn't comfortable with the idea of a relationship. We stayed friends for a couple years before drifting apart, but a part of me still wishes I hadn't been such a wuss and had given it a shot.

The sort of rejection I regret a bit less. We went out a few times but I wasn't sure if I wanted to move things ahead. Then her best friend basically said to me "You should make things official", and my incredibly immature response was to completely stop talking to both the friend and the girl I was seeing. So I guess what I regret is the way I handled the situation.

The two accidental ones I regret. I was into both of them, but was too much of a coward to make a move and missed my chances. I dunno if that really counts as a rejection, but the hints were so strong that there's no chance the poor girls didn't think I was rejecting them.
 

DANEgerous

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Jan 4, 2012
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I reject idiots and regret nothing. If someone asks me on a date I am up front "This is not exclusive I am not your boyfriend (though we can say we are) and simply I find you mentally intriguing and physically attractive so we can fuck as long as we are free to fuck who we want to. After I say this many walk off at lest 7 out of 10 of these are just stupid.
 

Dizchu

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Sep 23, 2014
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I have rejected at least 3 girls so far (hurrhurr I am a total stud). But the reason wasn't because I didn't like them because I did.

I just have extremely poor self-esteem. Coupled with my gender identity issues I see myself as not being "relationship material". I know that's subjective but what I mean is that I don't think I would enrich somebody's life, and there's definitely people around that are more suitable (and on at least 2 of those occasions there were).

However I didn't reject them in a nasty way. I explained why it couldn't work, offered them encouragement and congratulated them on forming relationships with other people. They're happy, I'm uhh... moderately satisfied but content that things could have been a lot worse.

I don't care if I end up never being in any relationships, as long as the people I love end up being happy then that's a reward itself.

(btw that's just females that asked me out, when males do it I reject them simply because I am not attracted to males. One or two of them were really creepy about it though which freaked me out a little. Though as soon as it become widespread knowledge that I am trans and not a biological female I got a lot less of this.)