Why a classical zombie outbreak would be rather underwhelming

Strafe Mcgee

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H0ncho said:
This is interesting, and deserves a scholarly investigation. Maybe if all the graveyards in the world arose at the same time it would create the desired (by this forum) civilization-ending effect. It depends on how long time it would take for a bitten victim to turn into a zombie and how likely a zombie would be to devour it's prey rather than let it die and rise again. If, however, only one graveyard arose at a time I think the infestation would be unable to reach critical mass. Also it should be relatively easy to dig up all the graves and destroy the corpses.
What basis are you using for 'classical' zombies? If you're using any of Romero's work (apart from Diary, which I still haven't seen yet and can't confirm), then this thesis applies. Any dead body will become a zombie after a certain period of time, and the initial zombie crisis is caused by radiation from some sort of space station (I think).

Also, if it's modern, fast zombies then we are all screwed. Absolutely, totally, irrefutably screwed. You just can't beat those things- it only takes one of them to cause a huge spread of zombies that'll consume cities in a matter of hours.
 

Logan Westbrook

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Feb 21, 2008
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You put a lot of work into a silly topic. I like that!

However, there are some flaws in your theory. Firstly you talk about evacuating Los Angeles. There are over 12 million people in the Los Angeles metropolitan area. The logistics of such a task is mind boggling! Where do you find enough medical personnel to 'closely monitor' that many people, all at once? Where do you put them? How do you feed them? Placing any large number of people in a relatively confined space is an easy way for any infection to spread.

Your second scenario has a flaw as well and again it is scale. Yes, zombies are slow moving, but Los Angeles has a population density of over 8000 people per square mile, you're not going to get trickles of zombies, you'll get swarms. Again, logistics come into play. Mobilising 100,000 people to combat the epidemic takes time, and at the rate that you stated or 72km a day, it would take a zombie around a week to get from Los Angeles to San Fransisco, where the whole process would start again.

We're not safe, far, far from it...
 

UpInSmoke

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Strafe Mcgee said:
H0ncho said:
This is interesting, and deserves a scholarly investigation. Maybe if all the graveyards in the world arose at the same time it would create the desired (by this forum) civilization-ending effect. It depends on how long time it would take for a bitten victim to turn into a zombie and how likely a zombie would be to devour it's prey rather than let it die and rise again. If, however, only one graveyard arose at a time I think the infestation would be unable to reach critical mass. Also it should be relatively easy to dig up all the graves and destroy the corpses.

What basis are you using for 'classical' zombies? If you're using any of Romero's work (apart from Diary, which I still haven't seen yet and can't confirm), then this thesis applies. Any dead body will become a zombie after a certain period of time, and the initial zombie crisis is caused by radiation from some sort of space station (I think).

Also, if it's modern, fast zombies then we are all screwed. Absolutely, totally, irrefutably screwed. You just can't beat those things- it only takes one of them to cause a huge spread of zombies that'll consume cities in a matter of hours.
I don't remember anything about space radiation. can anyone confirm this? I always thought the Romero movies intentionally left the cause of the initial outbreak unknown.
 

OneHP

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Jan 31, 2008
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UpInSmoke said:
Once they form large hordes, zombies seem to typically fight over and tear their victims into many pieces. A totally dismembered victim would be physically unable to join the horde. Therefore, the size of the horde would be limited to the number of zombies it takes to render a victim totally immobile.

Maybe some people get infected, escape, and then join the horde once they turn. I don't see why they would though.
That horde thing could make a nice RTS game, say you have to manage the sizes of either your hordes of zombies(easy to wipe out but with good growth potential, or visa verca) or your mobs of humans(the larger the mob the more likely to have friendly fire or arguments, etc.).
 

qbert4ever

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H0ncho said:
...heavy machine guns and explosives would decimate them so fast that it wouldn't even be funny.
You do know that to decimate them would only be to kill every 1 in 10 right? Not great if there are a lot of them...
 

Strafe Mcgee

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UpInSmoke said:
I don't remember anything about space radiation. can anyone confirm this? I always thought the Romero movies intentionally left the cause of the initial outbreak unknown.
This is taken from Wikipedia:

Experts ? scientists and military ? are not sure of the cause of the reanimation, but one scientist is certain that it is the result of radiation emanating from a Venus space probe that exploded in the Earth's atmosphere. A final report instructs that a gunshot or heavy blow to the head will stop the "ghouls" and that posses of armed men are patrolling the countryside to restore order.
 

WlknCntrdiction

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I'm safe, i live in England:D

EDIT: On retrospect i would rather have zombies over here than the fear of being stabbed, shot, dismembered, bottled, bricked, run over, baseball batted or killed whilst walking home from work at night, when its dark, and scary, and i have to peer over my shoulder every 5 seconds(i kid you not).
 
May 14, 2008
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The best zombie slayer of all time has to be none other than Gordon Freeman. The Ravenholm part was hell, but the underground part in episode one was even worse! Interesting fact: if you light a normal zombie on fire and play the speech backwards you can hear him say "oh god help, help me"!! click here if you can: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhD-vd7PXY4&feature=related
 

Singing Gremlin

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This thread disappointed me. I wanted a tale of Bach and Tchaikovsky, and Mozart, risen again in their eternal hunt to sate their hunger for ivory.

"They're decomposing composers, there's nothing much anyone can do
you can still hear Beethoven, but Beethoven cannot hear you."
 

H0ncho

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Feb 4, 2008
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What if the infection occurs in a poor third world country with weak government and military?
Those countries are usually also more ruthless than us when it comes to fighting threats.
Once they form large hordes, zombies seem to typically fight over and tear their victims into many pieces. A totally dismembered victim would be physically unable to join the horde
A good point
I mean, it's fine that they're getting up and walking around, even attacking people, but not for one second could I forget that they're too slow to possibly do any damage. Meanie.
My pleasure.
What basis are you using for 'classical' zombies?
Just a name. Perhaps Brookian or H0nchoan would be better. But both those names have flaws as well... I just imagined this was what most people imagined when they thought about zombies.
You put a lot of work into a silly topic. I like that!

However, there are some flaws in your theory. Firstly you talk about evacuating Los Angeles. There are over 12 million people in the Los Angeles metropolitan area. The logistics of such a task is mind boggling! Where do you find enough medical personnel to 'closely monitor' that many people, all at once? Where do you put them? How do you feed them? Placing any large number of people in a relatively confined space is an easy way for any infection to spread.

Your second scenario has a flaw as well and again it is scale. Yes, zombies are slow moving, but Los Angeles has a population density of over 8000 people per square mile, you're not going to get trickles of zombies, you'll get swarms. Again, logistics come into play. Mobilising 100,000 people to combat the epidemic takes time, and at the rate that you stated or 72km a day, it would take a zombie around a week to get from Los Angeles to San Fransisco, where the whole process would start again.

We're not safe, far, far from it...
A zombie horde is a powerful motivator. Those Los Angelesians will try to get away from the zombies as fast as they can, and remember - they *can* outrun them so it doesn't have to be as quick as evacuations usually have to.

As for the monitoring by health personell I was more thinking about huge refugee camps, and medical personnell monitoring those that are sick - undoubtedly doctors from the entire world will beg to come and study this new disease - rather than every person in Los Angeles hospitalized. I realize however that this was not what I wrote ;P I should have thought of that.

But: Even if the zombies reach San Francisco - remember that they wander aimlessly, and are unlikely to reach it in hordes - they would be little match for a prepared populace with minimal military backing. If they wander in hordes they will be decimated - ten times :) due to grenades and heavy machine guns as well as improvised weapons such as steamrollers. If they come one by one then there will undoubtedly be some kind of militia or military patrols in the area able to destroy them. I know that I wouldn't walk around unarmed if I knew there was a zombie invasion on the way. The entire city would probably shoot you if you sneezed - which is not a good thing, but preferable to a zombie infestation.

Of course, we are not safe - if we live in the disaster area. But other than that you should feel pretty safe.
 

TomNook

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Did you learn nothing from Zombie Strippers? If there is a zombie outbreak it will be Bush's fault.
 

Kikosemmek

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Any zombie infestation would fail because in the real world there exist reliable melee weapons with further reach than a knife *looks sharply at Resident Evil*

We have swords. The battle is officially over. We can all go home now. Swords exist.
 

UpInSmoke

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Kikosemmek said:
Any zombie infestation would fail because in the real world there exist reliable melee weapons with further reach than a knife *looks sharply at Resident Evil*

We have swords. The battle is officially over. We can all go home now. Swords exist.
smug bastards like you will be the first ones to die.
 

Usige Beatha

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I think the real threat of a Zombie invasion isn't the Zombies them selves but the world-wide panic and chaos that would ensue once Zombies have been confirmed.

Lets say they do find some zombies in LA and word get out of their existence *ether through the media or the massive evacuation or what ever* then I can almost garentee that there will be mass paranoia and panic in cities like New York, Boston, Houston,and Chicago. There may even be mass riots and killings as people hurry to get food and supplies for an invasion that may be easily contained.

The only place I think Zombies would be able to manifest into a major threat is if they appeared in Africa or some other third world country without the ability to control them.
 
Feb 13, 2008
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Ok, let's take the classic Zombie Invasion.

Now, it's going to have to get infected somewhere; so we'll assume it's either
A ) a Government Lab
B ) Water, Air purifying plant
C ) Somewhere on the streets
D ) A morgue

That covers most of the origins.

Now
A ) Any Scientist would see the potential in this and experiment. Whoops...lots.
B ) A large inbuilt facility with potential to infect a city. Whoops...lots.
C ) Hundreds of people go "missing" per day. Whoops...lots.
D ) A morgue. Nom Nom Nom. Whoops...lots.

Removing the Head.
Has anyone ever tried to remove the head from a target? I'm guessing no one here, apart from maybe Fondant ( :) ). It's not easy at all. Even with a shotgun at point blank, you still have to pull the trigger. Not easy when your brain's screaming "This can't be happening!", see Shaun of the Dead.

Ok, so there's now lots of Zombies milling towards you; and you really can't bring yourself to tear the entire face off someone you've never met. So... you get in touch with the Police.

The Police don't have the power to do anything, so in come the National Guard. That alerts the Press, who want candid photos. Whoops...more infected.

The National Guard want this covered up, so news blanket hits. But words will have leaked out, that means Terror! Look at how the Floods in South America caught America off-guard.

So, we're looking at Heavy Ordinance now. And that's gonna have to get past the U.N. Now France and Germany are not gonna vote for an Extermination Squad, are they? And Arabia/Russia will want to know what's ACTUALLY going on...

So, we've got Worldwide Distrust, Heavy Ordinance, Press Blanket and a growing number of unstoppable Zombies. What actually caused it? Is it E-Numbers? Is it Global Warming? Is it the American Super Soldier programme?

So, the CIA is next; and they're job is to protect the U.S. at all costs. So, enter Agent Orange.

No more zombies.

But wait...If Bird Flu and Bovine Spongiform Encaplopathy can jump species, what about Zombie-ness?

A single rabbit breaks free from the Napalm strike and heads into it's burrow. Nom Nom Nom.

The rabbits attack a fox.

The fox attacks a raccoon.

The raccoon attacks a bear.

The bear wanders into the nearby town. At which point it's blasted to pieces by all the NRA.

Utter panic. The NRA bunker up and blast anything.

Not scary huh? And that's from one Zombie.

Watch most Zombie films and there's very little time given to the Undead. It's usually about the Humans trapped and slowly losing their minds. Day of the Triffids did this very well; it doesn't matter how slow the Zombies move, it's how fast panic moves. Orson Wells nearly brought America to a standstill from a radio broadcast.

And if you still don't think that's possible today...you remember the kids caught playing Halo with the Hookers? Was on Sky, BBC and most of the newspapers.

Total fabrication. Check it up and see. :)
 

The Potato Lord

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The initial zombies aren't the threat its the unknown infected who have bee n infected but don't realize it who then create more unknown infected when they zombify, and no one will catch on until its too late because the smart guy always dies horribly before he can explain this problem to captain action-hero and his love interest. and BAM! Zombies take over.
 

hcselaw

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May 29, 2008
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Perhaps we are thinking about this in the wrong way. Can any of you honestly say that the world would be worse off if it were temporarily ruled by zombies? Think about it. If 85% of the world's population were whiped out, only the strongest, and smartest 15% would remain. If natural selection holds true, the survivors that re-took the planet would procreate a race of genetic supermen that would elevate humanity to a level it has never achieved before.If anything we should be facilitating the zombie apocalypse.
 

BLERGER

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Jun 11, 2008
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I don't mean to rain on your apocalypse parade, but you COULD just level Los Angeles with a 20 kilo-ton tactical nuclear payload =D Of course, this would require you being in charge of a police state where the cars drive YOU and the TV's watch YOU...

(Note, I have nothing against Los Angeles. I actually quite like the city...my solution is only the lazy solution =D)

-Arsundiil