Why do games make me so unbelievably infuriated?

[Twinrehz]

I do really like playing games. I do, I really do. However, games make me angry. Not just a little angry, the make me furious. At first, I'm shouting at the game, and if I keep playing, I get this incredible urge to throw a serious tantrum and throw shit around (I'm 25, btw). This to me doesn't seem very normal. I've seen ragers online, and I suppose I'm among them. I get mad for not being as good as the rest.

What worries me, and sort of prevents me from really enjoying games any more, is how quickly I get angry. For example, League of Legends. If I start getting pwned, which I do, because I'm not terribly good at it, my fury bubbles up inside of me and demands to be unleashed, primarily in all chat, where I really badly want to tell people to go die in a fire (probably for being better than me). I want to, but I usually don't, because it's bad behavior, bad sportsmanship, reason to get banned, it's not their fault I suck and so on.

It seems like it prevents me from getting better, because I can't play very much before I have to stop. And I don't want to stop, because I want to keep playing, but when a game reduces me to tears, I don't see the point of carrying on. I'm aware that I get mad, but once I'm triggered, all reasonable thinking goes out the window.

At this point I should probably mention that it's not just LoL, it goes for all games. My other example is Tales of Vesperia, which I've been playing lately. I pretty much cruise through the game, beating creatures and critters left and right, playing on normal. Then I hit the boss fights. Now the last boss fight did something I wasn't prepared for, it was the first one I encountered that used something called mystic arte (it's a massive spell that covers the entire battle arena and does tons of damage). I didn't die immediately, I probably got him down to 35% or something before things started going bad. What did happen immediately, however, is my aforementioned rage. After ONE attempt, I decide that this game is impossible to beat, because I didn't do it on my first try, and it pisses me off to no limit, and I just want to crush my X360, its controller and the TV. Obviously I can't do that, because then I would be without an X360, a controller and a TV, and that would make me even more angry, and later on depressed because this is why I can't have nice things and whatnot.

And it goes the same with pretty much all games. I want to be challenged, but when the challenging makes me immediately fuming with rage, the point seems lost.

So I tend to get mad. And thinking soothing thoughts, like "it's only a game", or "it's no big deal" doesn't really help, because I just want everything to die. Is this something I perhaps should see a psychiatrist about, could it be very serious? I usually don't get this angry at people, because I can reason with them, and they normally don't oppose me the same way that games do. I've never wanted to hurt a real person, unless they're the smugfaced bastard that keeps besting me in an online game, and even then I just want to punch them, not kill them or anything.

 

[Twinrehz]

But am I really getting worked up because something in my mind thinks it's a big deal? Couldn't it be something else?

 

[JasonBurnout16]

Eh I get the same when I play Assassins Creed. I mean I know I am terrible at stealth games, yet sometimes the game just seems so unfair that I just want to ragequit. The best example is when the character runs/jumps/falls in a direction that I did not want him to. I mean I'm the only one to blame for that - I'm holding the controller. But nooooooooo... it's the stupid games fault.

You're just human though. People want to be the best at things when they attempt something, and failing to reach that goal is bound to cause anger. I've never played Tales of Vesperia, but you said you were cruising through the game until you hit that boss, who did something you weren't prepared for and you died. I'd be meeved too, thinking I was doing really well, then getting cut down by some mega-ultra all ground covering attack.

 

[Smooth Operator]

It's normal when someone has far too much energy and doesn't know where to put it. So I suggest you find yourself a nice physically intensive hobby and go crazy with that for a while, afterwards annoyances in games will just seem so insignificant.

 

[Twinrehz]

Did you get everything you wanted whenever you wanted it as a child? Because you kind of sound massively spoilt and a terrible person to play games with. I'm sure you're not, and that you're absolutely lovely, but no, the way you're behaving is not normal. I don't think you need professional help, I think you just need to give up gaming. Unless you feel this way about everything, then yeah, you need help - anger management I'd guess.

Truly, no. As a child, I was the smallest of 4 siblings, and I rarely got what I wanted, or got my way. I was also much more patient when I was younger, I guess I've grown into bad habits after I moved away from home.

I am a rather impatient person though, and tend to focus very much on the small details, missing or all-over forgetting the big picture. I've been mad at LoL-games where I've done terribly bad, but overall we're winning. (And I might also be a bit of a sore winner). This kinda bothers me, because I want to be the guy that everyone likes, the one that never annoys anyone. Getting angry at MP-games while playing with my friends tend to be exasperating for them though, but even that thought vanishes when I'm hellbent on winning, and fail to do so.

Maybe it all boils down to patience?

It's normal when someone has far too much energy and doesn't know where to put it. So I suggest you find yourself a nice physically intensive hobby and go crazy with that for a while, afterwards annoyances in games will just seem so insignificant.

I started working out, and at first it calmed me down, but eventually I was back to my old self.

Eh I get the same when I play Assassins Creed. I mean I know I am terrible at stealth games, yet sometimes the game just seems so unfair that I just want to ragequit. The best example is when the character runs/jumps/falls in a direction that I did not want him to. I mean I'm the only one to blame for that - I'm holding the controller. But nooooooooo... it's the stupid games fault.

You're just human though. People want to be the best at things when they attempt something, and failing to reach that goal is bound to cause anger. I've never played Tales of Vesperia, but you said you were cruising through the game until you hit that boss, who did something you weren't prepared for and you died. I'd be meeved too, thinking I was doing really well, then getting cut down by some mega-ultra all ground covering attack.

Blaming the game sounds so much like me. It's never my fault, it's the game's fault for letting other people play OP characters, or giving NPC's OP abilities that I can't cope with (because I don't know how, I suppose). It wasn't just that ONE boss in Tales of Vesperia, though, it's ALL the bosses. Every boss I've met so far has been a challenge that I haven't been able to beat without lowering the difficulty to easy.

 

[iLikeHippos]

I do really like playing games. I do, I really do. However, games make me angry. Not just a little angry, the make me furious. At first, I'm shouting at the game, and if I keep playing, I get this incredible urge to throw a serious tantrum and throw shit around (I'm 25, btw). This to me doesn't seem very normal. I've seen ragers online, and I suppose I'm among them. I get mad for not being as good as the rest.

What worries me, and sort of prevents me from really enjoying games any more, is how quickly I get angry. For example, League of Legends. If I start getting pwned, which I do, because I'm not terribly good at it, my fury bubbles up inside of me and demands to be unleashed, primarily in all chat, where I really badly want to tell people to go die in a fire (probably for being better than me). I want to, but I usually don't, because it's bad behavior, bad sportsmanship, reason to get banned, it's not their fault I suck and so on.

It seems like it prevents me from getting better, because I can't play very much before I have to stop. And I don't want to stop, because I want to keep playing, but when a game reduces me to tears, I don't see the point of carrying on. I'm aware that I get mad, but once I'm triggered, all reasonable thinking goes out the window.

At this point I should probably mention that it's not just LoL, it goes for all games. My other example is Tales of Vesperia, which I've been playing lately. I pretty much cruise through the game, beating creatures and critters left and right, playing on normal. Then I hit the boss fights. Now the last boss fight did something I wasn't prepared for, it was the first one I encountered that used something called mystic arte (it's a massive spell that covers the entire battle arena and does tons of damage). I didn't die immediately, I probably got him down to 35% or something before things started going bad. What did happen immediately, however, is my aforementioned rage. After ONE attempt, I decide that this game is impossible to beat, because I didn't do it on my first try, and it pisses me off to no limit, and I just want to crush my X360, its controller and the TV. Obviously I can't do that, because then I would be without an X360, a controller and a TV, and that would make me even more angry, and later on depressed because this is why I can't have nice things and whatnot.

And it goes the same with pretty much all games. I want to be challenged, but when the challenging makes me immediately fuming with rage, the point seems lost.

So I tend to get mad. And thinking soothing thoughts, like "it's only a game", or "it's no big deal" doesn't really help, because I just want everything to die. Is this something I perhaps should see a psychiatrist about, could it be very serious? I usually don't get this angry at people, because I can reason with them, and they normally don't oppose me the same way that games do. I've never wanted to hurt a real person, unless they're the smugfaced bastard that keeps besting me in an online game, and even then I just want to punch them, not kill them or anything.

I've sat in a similar boat of yours, so I understand the situation more or less. I've screamed at the top of my lungs and thrown controllers on the ground/smashing them into pillows or my own lap. Never sent a hatemail (except that one time when I was 11... not proud :/ ), but I've made people around me angry or upset with me. I've woken people up in the middle of the night because I slipped up, and felt embarassment and disappointment in myself afterwards. I can't even count on my hand how many times I've gotten knocks on my door, where the fellow residents of the building tell me to kindly shut up.

Wish it wasn't the case, but it is.

Or was, rather.

Right now, I can say that I have grown significantly calmer when I am playing. I haven't gotten a complaint from neighbors in months. My brother, who used to tell me to shut up, is now a much louder, angrier gamer than myself in comparison, and he's had little to no troubles with anyone else, including himself.

Nevermind that I have Aspergers, which makes me significantly easier to annoy than other people. Nevermind that I have depression, that could "somehow" make me more angry or something. Nevermind that my mother's genes are in me, and they can give me explosive reactions to shit that ticks me off.
None of these things matter.
What matters is that I am a human with pride, who does not like to take any shit I deem unfair from people or computers that does not deserve the victory. No one enjoys having their progress or happiness disrupted by forces outside of your control, especially things that can be altered by someone else, which is the case for 99.99% of games.

---- I came to the conclusion that in order to calm myself down while gaming, I had to NOT, under ANY circumstances, act on my rage. It is nature's way of saying fuck you for actually having feelings. Rage is incredibly detrimental to anything you do, and acting on it will only temporarily soothe you, but it also increases the rage levels for the next time you get mad. It even makes you tunnel-visioned on one thing, and that can, and will, lead to your ruin, hence creating more rage than it is solving. It is best, I found, to keep calm and be assertive to whatever is causing the problem and then go about to fix it or ignore it.



Since I've been gaming to this rule, I can play games that used to make me infuriated, with ease and mastery. Where I'd usually get mad, I would explain to myself what went wrong, analyze it, and try not to repeat it or ignore it. If it is in your control, you can fix it. If you can't, then to hell with it. If it is outside your control, then there is no reason to get mad in the first place. Maybe bummed, but it's not your fault, so hey.

Have to say though... It's more boring this way, but it is hell of a lot calmer and victorious.

 

[Twinrehz]

-snip-

(Edited because length).

There's some sound advice I can get behind. This does indeed sound very much like my situation, and I think it's something I can grab onto. If I could just see reason in my actions, then it might actually keep me calm; as it is right now I almost feel like I have no idea what I'm doing any more, especially when it comes to LoL.

Thank you very much for your advice and insight, I'll be sure to give it a try.

 

[Batou667]

I've got to confess that I've had my share of game rage, and I have three broken controllers as evidence.

I'm (mostly) much better at handling my frustration nowadays, but games used to really rile me, especially PvP games where there was pride at stake - games like Halo, for instance. Sometimes I'd rage at games that were unfair or poorly designed, like some bullshit Ninja Gaiden boss fight, or getting glitched into the geometry in a racing game, or whatever - but I was mostly angry at my own limitations. Either I sucked at a game and got angry when everybody mopped the floor with me, or else I'd be playing a game that I was pretty good at but made a silly mistake and got punished for it, and at the time I'd feel cheated, or that the other guy was playing unfairly or exploiting a cheap trick, or whatever. Anything but reflect on how *I* was playing and see if I could change it for the better.

Gaming has an important function as a pressure-valve and I'm sure that at least *some* of my game rage was of the harmless, cathartic type. I'd spent all day holding my tongue, I smiled and apologised when that clumsy guy knocked into me on the bus, I didn't stand up for myself when I got spoken down to at work, my friend made an off-colour joke at my expense in the pub and I laughed along and pretended not to be bothered, but now, in the privacy of my own room, I could shoot people in the face and be enraged when they shot me back and shout at them and use obscenities that would get me arrested in the street. I almost enjoyed the anger at times.

In general though, rage is toxic. You get into a cycle of playing badly, getting angry, playing worse as a result, and getting even more frustrated. It's not healthy.

In my case, getting angry while gaming was a symptom of stress in my life generally. If doing something you're meant to love makes you feel out of control and enraged, chances are there's something else in your life you need to address: an insecurity, a worry, an awkward conversation or apology you're putting off, whatever. Also consider not having gaming be high-testosterone all the time, not everything needs to be competitive - try something more slow-paced and possibly single-player, like Minecraft or a strategy or puzzle game.

Peace.

 

[Twinrehz]

I've broken many things. I've altogether smashed at least 3 keyboards (not to bits, they were still usable, but one of them showed significant bending. It was made of aluminium), 2 controllers, I've punched several holes in various desks, an N64 rumble pak was in the way when I wanted to smack the floor (it wasn't totaled, just cracked some plastic), and going beyond the scope of gaming, I've broken one small bedside table (fucker kicked me in the shins, I kicked its top in half), a vacuum head, and numerous hard drives.

Yeah, I mad. :/

As of lately it could have a lot to do with moving around a bit, so I might calm down a bit for the time being.