Why I think "Gamer Girls" shouldn't hide.

[Overusedname]

Well, as a girl, I don't hide my gender or anything, and would never go out of my way to hide it. However I'd never go any length to point out my gender either. If someone mistakes me for a guy then I'd say "I'm actually a girl" and leave it at that. And pretty much what the person above me said, just be who you are and let how you play speak for you rather than your gender.

This pretty much sums up how I feel about it.

I get that a lot of peeps like OP's friend have the same story, but...what can ya do? I think almost every woman I know is an avid gamer to some extent, and I'm not saying Facebook games. Shooters, JRPGs, Action games, Point and click, whatever the hell genre Phoenix Wright is...

I think it boils down to the fact that people just assume the person their playing with is a guy cuz it's a mental default.

 

[Exius Xavarus]

Well, as a girl, I don't hide my gender or anything, and would never go out of my way to hide it. However I'd never go any length to point out my gender either. If someone mistakes me for a guy then I'd say "I'm actually a girl" and leave it at that. And pretty much what the person above me said, just be who you are and let how you play speak for you rather than your gender.

This is pretty much my view on it. Nothing but the player's ability should matter, when it comes to games.

Going out of your way to point out you're a girl is nothing more than a grab for attention, as far as I can tell. That's the only reason you'd even tell us, to begin with. Unless you're going for a "I'm a girl and I beat you!" tease, which is just childish.

Of course, this is my experience with "gamer girls." We're all gamers, in my eyes. I don't care if you're male, female, black, white, Asian or Indian, as long as I'm having fun playing the game with you.

 

[DementedSheep]

Well it?s not just that women are ?hiding?. People tend to assume everyone they don?t know the gender of is male and unless you?re using a mic (which often doesn't go so well) gender doesn't really come up. You get guys who just assume every girl they meet isn't into gaming and every person they meet in a game is male so they think they've never meet any female gamers when they have. When I was at university last year I use to hang out with a group of guys and girls and it was only after about 3 months that the guys realized I and the other girl were actually gamers because it just didn't really come up.

 

[omega 616]

I'm certainly not hiding, I just don't see why it is a big deal to be a girl who plays games. I would sooner identify myself as a 'gamer' than a 'girl gamer'. Oh and 'fake gamer girls' definitely do exist, one of my friends bought a Triforce T-shirt and doesn't know that the main character is called Link and not Zelda. She has also not played any Zelda games but still says that Ocarina of Time is one of the best N64 titles if not one of the best RPGs in history.

'cos a lot girls aren't into gaming, beyond farmville or angry birds. Since a lot of boys do like gaming and do a lot of it, finding a gamer girl is perfect GF.

Girls get abuse online 'cos little boys don't know how to speak to them with there brain, they are talking with the "little guy". Quite surprising how close the online "locker room" talk is like real "locker room" talk.

 

[Glademaster_v1legacy]

Personally, all gamer Xs should be done away with and left with Girls who happen to be gamers. A bit of a finicky difference but it matters as people who are Gamer X tend to draw to much attention to the X and not enough to the Gamer in my experience anyway.

 

[Phrozenflame500]

From what I understand the problem is that there is a very small portion of gamer girls that are commonly known as "morons". This isn't specific to girl gamers, the world is full to the brim with morons and it's unfortunate girls gamers have been stuck with the stereotype of being idiots who spam old memes, never stop talking and are extremely oversensitive. Hopefully they can shake this stereotype as the gaming demographic expands, but until then they tend to get harassed for things they haven't actually done.

 

[Headdrivehardscrew]

Yeah, well, you see - whatever it is you think you're doing right there, to me it sounds preachy and it's a bit of a major turn-off for me. It doesn't work for me. Sorry.

There is nothing to discover. There is nothing to unite. There is no target audience that needs to be freed and primed and fed and united and led into a revolution of sorts.

We exist. But, alas, as much as I love games, there are just so many other things to do in my average day/week/month/year/life cycle that this whole grassroots come-together online party thing just makes my nipples shrivel up, only to later try to strangle me to death when I'm asleep.

I enjoy games. I know gamer girls. I know gamer women. We just don't make a big deal out of it, for we got our emotions, our well-greased analog controllers and our anatomy under control. Mostly, anyway. You don't try to unite people that knit jumpers or make their own pasta, do you. That's fine. Same goes for females that enjoy some digital entertainment.

Boy, man, adult or kid - I advise you to do the same, so you don't fall prey to the preachy lonely types down in the park. They just want to see your junk.

 

[Shaz]

Well it?s not just that women are ?hiding?. People tend to assume everyone they don?t know the gender of is male and unless you?re using a mic (which often doesn't go so well) gender doesn't really come up. You get guys who just assume every girl they meet isn't into gaming and every person they meet in a game is male so they think they've never meet any female gamers when they have. When I was at university last year I use to hang out with a group of guys and girls and it was only after about 4 months that guys realized I and the other girl were actually gamers because it just didn't really come up.

Exactly.

1999. EverQuest. If someone was playing a female character, it seemed most people assumed they were female until proven otherwise. When proven otherwise, they were teased about pixel attraction, called crude names, had their sexuality questioned, or an assortment of other oddities and insults. But 'avatar gender bending' was considered a rarity by most I knew or encountered.

Within only a year or two, suddenly all female characters were automatically assumed to be played by a male until proven otherwise, though any proof given was often disputed and continued to be disbelieved.

For over a decade I've been correcting people on my gender. Sure, I could just shrug it off, but tell me, guys, honestly: how many of you would shrug off being called a girl? a woman? missy? lady? You know better. You know it's typically considered an insult to be called such as a man. (Yes, my gender is considered AN INSULT, gee thankyouverymuch.) And even if you shrugged it off, how about being called that over? and over? and over? and over? day after day, game after game, year after year. I'm tired of it. I don't stand up and scream my gender, but if someone questions or assumes incorrectly, I correct them. It's the only possible way I have to get past the 'everyone's really a guy' mentality.

I'm damn sure a gamer, and I'm damn sure not a guy. That doesn't make me a 'girl gamer', though. It just makes me a gamer.

 

[chadachada123]

"Gurrrl gamers"/fake gamer girls (and their male counterparts) absolutely exist, and in fairly large numbers. They mostly stick to casual games, and clearly strive for attention.

To even suggest that they are a myth shows a large amount of inexperience with the internet.

I'll post a couple of examples, whatever can be found in a simple Google search, though there are many, many more: (note that "gamer" and "nerd" are going to be synonymous here, since it all basically spawned in 2007 with the popularity of Portal and The Big Bang Theory, and that it obviously isn't referring to people that don't give a shit about playing video games or other stereotypically nerdy things)

A funny comic that is a hyperbolic version of what I've experienced first-hand:

(full comic):

Spoiler

And a Forbes article by a girl that was a stereotypical nerd in school, as compared to the people that attach the 'nerdddlolxD' label today as a form of new-age hipsterism: http://www.forbes.com/sites/tarabrown/2012/03/26/dear-fake-geek-girls-please-go-away/

These are really just the tip of the iceberg, and are by no means limited to just one gender, even if the female fakes have grown in number at a greater rate than the male ones. The male fakes tend to be ignored rather than called out, however, and aren't nearly as interested in the social networking/attention whoring aspects. As a generalization.

 

[Abomination]

In New Zealand they either hide or simply do not exist - I've yet to really discern which one. The only one I've met in person was an Austrian immigrant who I happened to work with but she's also studying programming and game design at university.

I have decided that all New Zealand's girl gamers have been concentrated into my friend there, a single entity of female video gaming.

My fiancé is also a girl gamer, I met her on World of Warcraft and essentially imported her back to New Zealand. We don't really talk about that habit with other people in New Zealand as it's still a bit of a negative on a social scale over here.

The reason that girl gamers usually don't "out" themselves is probably the same reason why guy gamers don't "out" themselves as often to non-gamers. Males have the advantage of there simply being more gamers (as in hobbyists) thus their status is more acceptable on a social level. Girls, however, are not expected to be gamers and so there is a greater stigma attached.

 

[TheDoctor455]

Well, as a girl, I don't hide my gender or anything, and would never go out of my way to hide it. However I'd never go any length to point out my gender either. If someone mistakes me for a guy then I'd say "I'm actually a girl" and leave it at that. And pretty much what the person above me said, just be who you are and let how you play speak for you rather than your gender.

Nice. This is what I think a 'real gamer girl' is about.

Sadly, I have met someone that did try to use their gender and gaming hobby to get attention. At least from three other people playing with her (one of them was me).

Simple match of L4D2... I saw this person take down three special zombies and a small horde by herself with only a basic pistol.

Me: "Impressive. Most impressive."

(okay, maybe my Darth Vader impersonation was a bit out of place, but I was just paying a compliment to someone that, until they turned on their mike for the first time... I didn't know was male or female.)

Her: "Yeah, and I'm a girl! With a vagina!"

(I shit you not, the insipid... person actually said that.)

Me: "And I should care because...?"

And she then proceeded to alternately throw insults at me... and (apparently, guessing from the other guy's reactions) flirt with me and everyone else in the group. I say 'apparently' because I didn't really register it as flirting at first, nor did I really care after I figured it out. Suffice to say, I just kept playing and ignored the idiots I was playing with.

 

[Phasmal]

snip

Nerd/geek policing is gross.

I much prefer this attitude: http://whatever.scalzi.com/2012/07/26/who-gets-to-be-a-geek-anyone-who-wants-to-be/.

It's also funny how female geeks have to `prove themselves` and males are just kind of assumed to be the real deal right away.

 

[The Lugz]

The big issue among Men is they don't know them or don't believe "Girl Gamer's" exist. It's a short trip to the internet to find a reason why they don't just come out and admit it, they're being bullied for what they like to do

snipedy snippity snip.

righty, well i think this is the main issue most guys don't want to acknowledge they a, might be beaten by a girl b, thinks all girl gamers are guys in disguise and doesn't want ot be 'fooled' ( ok, internet suspicion.. ect ) into doing or saying things they otherwise wouldn't

but i can confirm through my travels across the internet i've seen roughly 25% as many ladies that i either believe, or have confirmed on skype, or some chat or video feed.

so yes they exist.

i once dated a nice chick who was obsessed with call of duty, she ran around with a shotgun blowing people's heads off because she found it amusing when all the guys yelled at her.. 'shrug' i guess she liked trollin'

^ maby this is the bullying others complain of? i can't comment really.. guess we need the mystical breed of gamer girls to arrive and school us.

point is, they do exist they are ( seemingly ) less common or just hiding quite well, or both.

 

[Mr.Pandah]

Oh sweet baby Jesus. This again. Do people really still care if a girl is behind the controller? Or if someone is truly a gamer?

 

[chadachada123]

snip

Nerd/geek policing is gross.

I much prefer this attitude: http://whatever.scalzi.com/2012/07/26/who-gets-to-be-a-geek-anyone-who-wants-to-be/.

It's also funny how female geeks have to `prove themselves` and males are just kind of assumed to be the real deal right away.

I don't care whether or not they are "real" nerds/gamers. I just care about the attention-whoring. And it is certainly rampant. But there is a serious difference between someone that only plays Call of Duty or WoW and a "real" gamer.

I shouldn't call myself a baseball player just because I go to a field and hit a few balls once in awhile, and would be summarily and rightfully called out if I tried to do so for attention or validation.

At the very least, I'm not separating fakes in the hipster vein from the dudebros that only play CoD and Madden, only pointing out that dudebros don't claim to be gamers as a badge of honor (but ARE regularly ridiculed for complaining about other games not being like Call of Duty, as they should be).

Yeah, some males are immature and can't separate those that should be shamed (attention whores of either gender) from those that just want to play some damn video games (everyone else).

On the flip side, some girls think of it as some sort of bragging point that "haha you just got beat by a GIRL" (which was literally the tagline on my ex-girlfriend's Xbox Live profile. That said, she didn't call herself a gamer, since she only played CoD, and knew that she wasn't a nerd by any stretch).

I disagree that females have to prove themselves any more than guys to to the average person, but I think that the reaction to realizing that the person you're talking to doesn't know shit about the topic they claim to love is different between the genders, which is a shame.

 

[BarkBarker]

....Why must it be GIRL gamer, you play games don't ya? You are a gamer, although I tend to lean towards calling only those with a wide scope of experiences to be called a gamer, one game or one genre do not count, neither do three, to me a gamer is a connoisseur of gaming, nothing more, nothing less.

 

[GAunderrated]

I was talking to a colleague of mine the other day and he claimed he had never met a "Girl Gamer" I told him that there are tons of Women of all ages that play all kinds of games. In my life I have always met them, from FPS's to Simulators, RPG's to RTS's and Puzzle Platforms, there is a Girl for every Game. This got me thinking about the politics of gaming and gender.

The big issue among Men is they don't know them or don't believe "Girl Gamer's" exist. It's a short trip to the internet to find a reason why they don't just come out and admit it, they're being bullied for what they like to do, sound familiar? For all those fella's out there that may not know any gals that partake of the gaming and for those gals who are comfortable with their gaming and wonder if some of their friends might enjoy it too: They might want to open up but feel like they don't have the right because of the millions of people who love to scrutinize them for what they are. Have you asked? Because it's OUR responsibility to support them.

Now "Real Gamers" is a term I hear (read) a lot but I think it's B.S. "Fake Girls Gamers" are like Santa or Jason Voorhees THEY DO NOT EXIST. I spend all day with people who play games of all kinds and I have never seen one, not so much as a blurry photograph of one has been seen by me. If you think you've met one, consult the advice above and ask because you will be surprised.

I don't want this to turn into a thesis so I'll cut my message short with this closing bit.

The world is opening it's arms to things that were once considered lame. Why not open our arms too and embrace the world? "Gamer" is not a mantle for the chosen it's a flag for people to get behind. So Women, don't be afraid to join the rest of us in the "Gamers" club. Yes it will be tough but people like me will always strive to make it easier for you, so you can help the community grow and all "Gamers" everywhere can enjoy the full extent of this new age for gaming.

I always thought the term "girl gamer " only set to further separate them from the regular gaming culture.

Regardless of gender, gamers are gamers.