Why I think "Gamer Girls" shouldn't hide.

Phasmal

Sailor Jupiter Woman
Jun 10, 2011
3,676
0
0
chadachada123 said:
I don't care whether or not they are "real" nerds/gamers. I just care about the attention-whoring. And it is certainly rampant. But there is a serious difference between someone that only plays Call of Duty or WoW and a "real" gamer.

I shouldn't call myself a baseball player just because I go to a field and hit a few balls once in awhile, and would be summarily and rightfully called out if I tried to do so for attention or validation.

At the very least, I'm not separating fakes in the hipster vein from the dudebros that only play CoD and Madden, only pointing out that dudebros don't claim to be gamers as a badge of honor (but ARE regularly ridiculed for complaining about other games not being like Call of Duty, as they should be).

Yeah, some males are immature and can't separate those that should be shamed (attention whores of either gender) from those that just want to play some damn video games (everyone else).

On the flip side, some girls think of it as some sort of bragging point that "haha you just got beat by a GIRL" (which was literally the tagline on my ex-girlfriend's Xbox Live profile. That said, she didn't call herself a gamer, since she only played CoD, and knew that she wasn't a nerd by any stretch).
I really don't understand why other people getting attention bothers you.
Either way, it certainly isn't as big a problem as the stupid elitism and hostility women face from people who believe we're all faking it.
chadachada123 said:
I disagree that females have to prove themselves any more than guys to to the average person, but I think that the reaction to realizing that the person you're talking to doesn't know shit about the topic they claim to love is different between the genders, which is a shame.
Disagree all you like, you are wrong.
My male gamer friends have never been accused of just doing it for attention. Nobody wants to quiz them. They aren't treated with suspicion. I do know what I'm talking about, and I get it just like everybody else.
Because of people who really want to perpetuate the myth of these evil attention seekers coming to steal our... attentions?

It's really kind of vain when you think about it.
EDIT: Ok, some poster pointed out your phrasing probably means you don't like it either. Which is great. But I feel it could be made easier on us by people not putting about the Fake Geek myth. It affects us all.
 

Fiz_The_Toaster

books, Books, BOOKS
Legacy
Apr 8, 2020
5,498
1
3
Country
United States
Oh how I long for the day when "girl gamers" will be just "gamers" and we just can end this silliness.

Anyways, I'm in plain sight and I never hide because this is my hobby and I'll be damned if someone is gonna ruin it for me. Granted, I don't play online games very often and that's mainly because they're shooters and I don't really play shooters. However, if I do use a mic and if someone is being an ass about it then I just report and move on. A sarcastic remark might be said, but I'm not gonna respond back with vitriol since that never ends well.

Also, this whole "prove yourself" nonsense needs to stop too because the last time I checked I didn't have a keeper, there isn't a "Gamer Congress" that votes who's worthy or not, and I don't care if I'm "nerdy" enough or not. Too old for that shit.

AND STAY OFF MY LAWN YOU WHIPPER SNAPPERS!
 

Playful Pony

Clop clop!
Sep 11, 2012
531
0
0
Generally I imagine people just asume I'm male when I play games, and I don't go out of my way to make them think otherwise. In my personal experience most people are cool about it, but there are enough of the uncomfortable moments that I'd rather people didn't know. I don't really care if people just assume I'm an MLP fan that prefers playing female characters!

If someone asks I'll tell them I'm a woman, and generally it doesn't go any further than that. A few times people has said stuff like "pics or it didn't happen", which I asume to be a joke. I have never shown anyone a picture to prove I'm not a man X3. I HAVE had to convince my dad a few times though, he doesn't quite know how to wrap his head around a girl being into "those horrible wargames" and star wars X3.

In highschool I really did notice that a lot of male gamers don't "handle" girls well... I tried to get in with that crowd because thats the kind of stuff I enjoy myself, but they were really passive and didn't really want to let me hang out with them at all. I guess they found it awkward that I was intruding on their boy-zone or whatever you would call that, so I kinda ended up on my own a lot of the time. Got some neat friends now that I'm out of school though, that awkward teenage phase is just terrible for everyone...
 

chozo_hybrid

Jund 'Em Out!
Jul 15, 2009
3,456
0
0
Abomination said:
In New Zealand they either hide or simply do not exist.
My girlfriend is one, and so are a lot of my friends. They are out there, you just don't know it. A good chunk of my friends just play single player games, they aren't into the whole competitive multiplayer, some of them are though.

I think its sad that it matters what gender someone is when they play games, I can't wait for the day we're all under the same name. Gamers, meaning those that enjoy video games.

Phasmal said:
chadachada123 said:
I disagree that females have to prove themselves any more than guys to to the average person, but I think that the reaction to realizing that the person you're talking to doesn't know shit about the topic they claim to love is different between the genders, which is a shame.
Disagree all you like, you are wrong.
My male gamer friends have never been accused of just doing it for attention. Nobody wants to quiz them. They aren't treated with suspicion. I do know what I'm talking about, and I get it just like everybody else.
Because of people who really want to perpetuate the myth of these evil attention seekers coming to steal our... attentions?

It's really kind of vain when you think about it.
This person is on your side, they disagree with the notion that females should have to prove themselves any more then males. Re-read it, what you think he said is not what the poster meant.
 

Phasmal

Sailor Jupiter Woman
Jun 10, 2011
3,676
0
0
chozo_hybrid said:
Phasmal said:
chadachada123 said:
I disagree that females have to prove themselves any more than guys to to the average person, but I think that the reaction to realizing that the person you're talking to doesn't know shit about the topic they claim to love is different between the genders, which is a shame.
Disagree all you like, you are wrong.
My male gamer friends have never been accused of just doing it for attention. Nobody wants to quiz them. They aren't treated with suspicion. I do know what I'm talking about, and I get it just like everybody else.
Because of people who really want to perpetuate the myth of these evil attention seekers coming to steal our... attentions?

It's really kind of vain when you think about it.
This person is on your side, they disagree with the notion that females should have to prove themselves any more then males. Re-read it, what you think he said is not what the poster meant.
Yeah, that phrasing was confusing.
Either way, it's shitty.
And really really tiring.
Can I not just get an Official Nerd Stamp tattooed on my face or something?
 

chozo_hybrid

Jund 'Em Out!
Jul 15, 2009
3,456
0
0
Phasmal said:
This person is on your side, they disagree with the notion that females should have to prove themselves any more then males. Re-read it, what you think he said is not what the poster meant.
Yeah, that phrasing was confusing.
Either way, it's shitty.
And really really tiring.
Can I not just get an Official Nerd Stamp tattooed on my face or something?[/quote]

That's okay, just wanted to let you know, otherwise some poor fella might feel he's being yelled at for no reason XD.

I think it sucks, I've grown up with just as many female friend etc and plenty of them game with me and such. Heck, my Mum has been playing the copy of Legend of Grimrock that I gifted her on steam, it's been fun helping her when she gets a bit stuck (she's used to just point and click adventure games, and she's not the most tech savvy) and she even helped me with a puzzle in it or two. I guess I'm just lucky to have that many ladies in my life that play games, as well as male friends.
 

LetalisK

New member
May 5, 2010
2,769
0
0
Phasmal said:
I really don't understand why other people getting attention bothers you.
I've always theorized that it's the same thing that hipsters do when a band they like gets popular. We want to be special by liking this cool little thing that nobody knows about, but once it starts going mainstream we start caring way too much about our status in relation to these new comers. "Yeah, well, I liked them before they sold out." Same thing with "fair-weather fans" of sports teams. Some people just care too much about feeling superior to others.

Oh! Oh! How about this. If you are consumed by how legit another gamer is, you are not a "true gamer" because you're spending time being concerned about who is in your imaginary little "in-group" rather than just gaming. If people are going to be tribal about it, then let's get really fucking tribal.
 

Zyntoxic

New member
May 9, 2011
216
0
0
I have forbidden my friends from telling my gender in any games we play, and I never use voice chat, because as far as my experience goes there are absolutely no benefits to actually "outing" my gender, and this is for several reasons:

1) abuse and harassment, mean comments and marriage proposals alike, I hate it and in most cases when my gender has become known, it has happened.

2) the assumptions, assumptions that I'm bad, the assumptions I'm someone on the team's girlfriend, the assumption that I need your gold, loot and pandering help.

3) you can never win, all my success is luck or I'm being carried by some one else, and all my failures become the failure of my entire gender.

4) "no women allowed", in some cases, this has happend to me and several female friends, you get kicked from a game or even a guild if it gets out that you are actually a woman.

this is all rather tiresome, and I play games to have fun.
Sure it is insulting to over and over be assumed to be a guy, I like being a woman, it is my gender identity, but it really isn't a fight I wanna take during the precious little time I have to have fun...
 

Commerford

New member
Aug 21, 2011
53
0
0
This old chestnut of a discussion.

There are some dick male gamers, there are some nice male gamers, there are some dick female players and there are some nice female players. The sky is blue, grass is green etc. etc.

Insecure people and plain old malevolent people can lash out at people just because they are different, happens in all cultures.

I've never understood this 'be brave and declare your female gamerhood' business though, there is really no avenue or reason to do so.

In my personal experience, I used to play 2s with a girl in WoW, she was a good lass, but we weren't very good. I've had a few situations where i've thought someone was a male for a long time only to be confused when voice chat started, and vice versa probably, I usually just don't assume, or am never surprised either way.

In the end, nothing anyone can do, just give the culture some more time to grow.
 

Saltyk

Sane among the insane.
Sep 12, 2010
16,755
0
0
I don't blame girls for hiding. I remember I had a clan in a game. I'd regularly get on with them and play in groups. Well, I remember that three of us were playing together, including one girl. When we jumped into the lobby for the match, we were still laughing and talking.

Someone in our group immediately mocked the girl, saying, "Yo, I wouldn't ever talk if I sounded like you. You sound like a girl."
"She is a girl."

Yeah, he didn't seem the least bit apologetic until he saw how well we played. Suddenly he was asking to join our Clan. We didn't respond.

Kopikatsu said:
Most people I've met online that claimed to be female ended up being men. Similarly, I happen to personally know a number of men who pretend to be women online for the perks (IE being able to get free items in online games), and one of them even utilizes a paid voice changer to do so.

So forgive me for being skeptical. 'On the internet, men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents'.
This reminds me of a funny story someone I met in a MMO told me.

He had a female character, and people inevitably asked if he was female. He started saying yes. And tons of people just gave him items, money, and other such things. That's kinda funny, and sad, all at the same time.
 

V da Mighty Taco

New member
Apr 9, 2011
890
0
0
Shaz said:
Sure, I could just shrug it off, but tell me, guys, honestly: how many of you would shrug off being called a girl? a woman? missy? lady? You know better. You know it's typically considered an insult to be called such as a man. (Yes, my gender is considered AN INSULT, gee thankyouverymuch.) And even if you shrugged it off, how about being called that over? and over? and over? and over? day after day, game after game, year after year.
Well, considering that my Steam Name for quite some time has been "The Solar Princess", that people often do literally ask whether or not I am a female - in which case I'll deliberately keep them wondering (it helps that I naturally use emoticons a lot and type as grammatically correct as possible), and that I like to roleplay a bit as a pretty white pony princess (I suck at it, baaad); I'd say that no amount of calling me a lady over the interwebz would ever upset me.

Then again, I've always been a notorious oddball and never been much of one for being fazed by other people's opinions of me, so I'm definitely the exception rather than the rule to your point. I don't think I've ever met another guy who makes it a point to make fun of people when they use terms like "lady" or "girl" as an insult, especially when they're supposedly "straight" guys. XD

Captcha: "uncle leo?" Captcha's been playing Fallout 3, I see.
 

BQE

Posh Villainess
Jun 17, 2013
334
0
0
I believe we need look no further than our own vocabulary in order to better understand this situation:

From Dictionary.com

gam·er
noun
a person who plays games, especially computer or video games.


nerd
noun Slang.
2.
an intelligent but single-minded person obsessed with a nonsocial hobby or pursuit: a computer nerd.

geek
noun Slang.
1.
a digital-technology expert or enthusiast (a term of pride as self-reference, but often used disparagingly by others).

2.
a person who has excessive enthusiasm for and some expertise about a specialized subject or activity: a foreign-film geek.

3.
a peculiar or otherwise dislikable person, especially one who is perceived to be overly intellectual.

As we can clearly see, by definition alone those who say anyone that plays games is a gamer is correct. I think there is a sub-issue here, and that's the fact that gaming/science/D&D/etc. enthusiasts not too long ago were overtly persecuted in school for their interests. These 'Generation One Nerds' weathered the worst of the storm and now, as the hobbies (particularly video games) become more main stream, people self-label themselves as nerds or geeks without a second thought.

I believe that is the point of contention, the fact that people who took these hobbies up before they were more familiar to society, who took these hobbies up knowing that they would expose themselves to harassment for their tastes are offended by the notion of people using these labels without experiencing the same drawbacks.

Another critical point is that fact that geek and nerd are defined explicitly by enthusiam and/or expertise. A lot of folks have already posted how, when they hear someone refer to themselves as such, they expect that level of enthusiam and expertise only to find out the contrary.

So I submit this: If we define gamers exclusively by virtue of the definition, than you must accept that the barrier to geek or nerd is altogether much more exclusionary.

We can even spice it up with some modus tollens.

a) A gamer is anyone who plays games.
I play games.
I am a gamer.

b)A geek is a person with excessive enthusiam and/or expertise about a specialized subject or activity.
I do not have excessive enthusiam or expertise about video games.
I am not a video game geek.
 

Ryan Minns

New member
Mar 29, 2011
308
0
0
No one should hide because the creation and ease of use many games have now when it comes to their ignore feature is too good. Now the universal harassment all genders/cultures/species/inanimate objects suffer on the internet is easily ignored with a click of one or two buttons
 
Mar 9, 2010
2,722
0
0
Well this thread is bound to be filled with fun, original comments and reasonable people.

FrankatronX said:
Now "Real Gamers" is a term I hear (read) a lot but I think it's B.S.
Well I'm going to call bullshit on you. Your argument to back that up is "I haven't seen one" but not 5 seconds before that you were calling guys out for saying girls don't play games because they haven't seen them. Not only is that opinion totally outdated for anyone even remotely interested in this hobby (read: not casual) but it's one that'd see you bitched out of almost any forum by everyone from posters to admins.

Secondly, it's definitely a real thing. With every interest you've got some people who are just going to jump on the bandwagon because it's getting popular, especially when "geek chic" was a thing and wearing thick rimmed glasses is now iconic hipster attire. To simply and outright deny that these people exist because "oh feminism" and "stop being mean to girls, they can play games to" is the hot topic is the fucking epitome of white knighting.

"Gamer girls" is a phrase which needs pulled from everyone's vocab. Gender has no bearing on your hobby and openly drawing attention to it creates resentment and a very distinct atmosphere of "this person is attention whoring." If your channel looks good and you're playing some decent vidya then I'll be inclined to watch it, not if you have "GIRL GAMER" in the title and tag lines.
 

Fijiman

I am THE PANTS!
Legacy
Apr 4, 2020
16,509
0
1

I've run into many girls while playing video games and have quite a few friends who are girl gamers. I would personally love it if more girls would be more vocal in games, but sadly I know that due to all squeakers and shitheads out there many never will. It's a truly sad reality, but it's the one we live in and we can only hope that it will change for the better in the future.
 

Risingblade

New member
Mar 15, 2010
2,893
0
0
The sad truth is that most guys are pigs, being able to anonymous on the internet makes this worst. Sure there are those of us that don't really care what gender you are but yeah there you'll have to deal with shit like that more often if you do put it out there that you're a female.