Wii Sports Resort

Yahtzee Croshaw

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Wii Sports Resort

Yahtzee provides some real world alternatives to the Wii Sports Resort activities.

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BlueInkAlchemist

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We definitely need a good stealth game. We also need a stealth game that incorporates the picking of locks, tapping of phone lines, and investigation of evidence pointing to terrorist activity rather than solving an international crisis by shooting anybody in the area who isn't white directly in their non-Caucasian faces.

Sid Meier's Covert Action did this waaaaay back in the day but such things are too boring for most people who consider Halo the pinnacle of an immersive action experience.
 

johnman

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I just completed Sniper Elite. I dont normally go in for stealth games but it was a lot of fun, setting up explosives to use as a diversions, then when they denotate, running round the back of all the guards who are now conveniently looking the wrong way.
 

Curtmiester

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I've actually never played an awesome stealth game. So a really good one would be a sure buy for me.
 

Mr Companion

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For bowling I imagine heartily cupping a man's balls, not that I am gay or anything its just, urm...
Also thanks to yahzees red faction Guerilla review I decided to buy prototype instead, and I am deeply grateful.
 

Midniqht

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Damn, now every time I play wii sports, I'm going to imagine those things instead. Get it out of my head!
 

solidstatemind

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I have high hopes for the new Thief game. Too bad we'll probably be waiting for 2 more years at least.
 

Cheesebob

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That was hilarious, Mr Croshaw!

Also, what do you think of Hitman: Blood Money? That had the best of both worlds (if you were good enough)
 

ippie

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RF: G does look fun can't get it now though :( i have the demo but half the time i go back and bomb incoming innocent cars.
 

ddq5

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Hmm... the article needs some better formatting at the end. At first, I couldn't tell what was a quotation and what wasn't or to whom to attribute them. Maybe quotation marks or italics or something would clear up my confusion.
 

wurm64

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I always want to put something smart in a comment that may make Yahtzee be like, "why didn't I think of that". But I can't so that means that Yahtzee is still better than me and most people. But you know what I except that and I will keep reading ZP extra and ZP for its ensiteful (sorry if spelt wrong) words of wisdom that he offers to us.
 

Angrylemming

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I know what you mean. When I was playing Deus Ex there were parts where I was forced to abandon stealth and instead blast my way through. It worked but it sort of felt like cheating a bit that my mistake could be patched up with a few rockets to the face of whatever happened to be aiming a gun at me.
 

[Cold-Shoulder]

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Great job, funny as always.
Is extra punctuation going to become a weekly thread on the escapist?
ippie said:
RF: G does look fun can't get it now though :( i have the demo but half the time i go back and bomb incoming innocent cars.
Where do you get the demo? And welcome to the escapist.
 

Cavouku

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Yahtzee ain't done tearing up RF:G just yet. And a nice approach at solidifying his views on Wii Sports Resort. I look forward to these columns, they give Yahtzee a slightly more... human view? It's odd, he seems to come across as more humane and such when writing, as apposed to the videos. Oh well, either way, I am, and have been, enjoying both for quite some time, even if he does keep "badmouthing my beloved Wii."
 

ippie

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CaptainChaosify said:
Great job, funny as always.
Is extra punctuation going to become a weekly thread on the escapist?
ippie said:
RF: G does look fun can't get it now though :( i have the demo but half the time i go back and bomb incoming innocent cars.
Where do you get the demo? And welcome to the escapist.
get the demo at xbox live marketplace thing free.
 

oshin

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Your so correct about redfaction, I only ever played the demo, but after 20 minutes of burrowing around (I think i even managed to get to the limit of how far you can burrow) I tried to play the game proper. So you find youself out of the mine and into these steel corridors that you cant burrow through, and hey presto your just playing some poor quake rip off. It makes sense though, otherwise you`d finish the game in 20 minutes just burrowing to the exits boulder dash style.
 

TheEnglishman

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I played Red Faction with a friend, we played vs mode and it seemed alright, none of the AI seemed to be able to kill us that easily, though I didn't play it beyond that and could totally understand if it was rubbish.

Good to see though Yahtzee's got to the point in his career where he can just now outright say an opinion is entirely wrong and effectivly achive the parodoxical.
 

Wolcik

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I like the second replay very much: "your opinion is so wrong that someone else should make it for you" XD well, maybe some people like to see "Game Over" sign and that's why they play games.

I'm guessing there isn't much reason to unwind on Wii Sports, as it's game for casual gammers and it's at least better than playing Paggle.
 

Mackinator

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Cheesebob said:
That was hilarious, Mr Croshaw!

Also, what do you think of Hitman: Blood Money? That had the best of both worlds (if you were good enough)
Funnily enough I'm just off Blood Money and onto The Escapist. I started playing it a few days back and I agree. You can be stealthy when you want to for more of a challenge or you can run in all guns blazing when you just feel like killing all those Gun-wielding manics at the Wedding...
 

Podunk

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Pankeyman said:
Is it ok if I replace Superman with Batman? Or do I have to follow them to a T?
Don't be silly. Everyone knows Batman can't fly. Or if he did, you'd just have to pretend to be sitting in first class or on a private jet or something.
 

Abedeus

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Wolcik said:
I like the second replay very much: "your opinion is so wrong that someone else should make it for you" XD well, maybe some people like to see "Game Over" sign and that's why they play games.

I'm guessing there isn't much reason to unwind on Wii Sports, as it's game for casual gammers and it's at least better than playing Paggle.
It isn't better. Peggle is an actual game.

Wii Sports is just simulating summer stuff without "the feel". Just because it's called "SUPREME SURFING" doesn't mean it feels like real surfing. Same goes for riding the bike or swimming. Cars are an exception, because where can you drive 300km/s on a racing track/in a city?
 

randommaster

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Podunk said:
Pankeyman said:
Is it ok if I replace Superman with Batman? Or do I have to follow them to a T?
Don't be silly. Everyone knows Batman can't fly. Or if he did, you'd just have to pretend to be sitting in first class or on a private jet or something.
What are you talking about? Batman would simply scowl at the air until it submitted to his whims and took him where he wanted to go.

When he's really pissed, he'll scowl at the fabric of reality and instantaniously warp to the people whose asses he wants to kick.
 

BehattedWanderer

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You know, it really almost sounds like Yahtzee likes the wii, but is just fed up with the control system. I think he would like it if it had some standard controllers.
 

Podunk

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randommaster said:
Podunk said:
Pankeyman said:
Is it ok if I replace Superman with Batman? Or do I have to follow them to a T?
Don't be silly. Everyone knows Batman can't fly. Or if he did, you'd just have to pretend to be sitting in first class or on a private jet or something.
What are you talking about? Batman would simply scowl at the air until it submitted to his whims and took him where he wanted to go.

When he's really pissed, he'll scowl at the fabric of reality and instantaniously warp to the people whose asses he wants to kick.
Scowlwarping also doesn't seem like an efficient motion for cycling or jet skiing games. : o
Just sayin'.
 

randommaster

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Podunk said:
randommaster said:
Podunk said:
Pankeyman said:
Is it ok if I replace Superman with Batman? Or do I have to follow them to a T?
Don't be silly. Everyone knows Batman can't fly. Or if he did, you'd just have to pretend to be sitting in first class or on a private jet or something.
What are you talking about? Batman would simply scowl at the air until it submitted to his whims and took him where he wanted to go.

When he's really pissed, he'll scowl at the fabric of reality and instantaniously warp to the people whose asses he wants to kick.
Scowlwarping also doesn't seem like an efficient motion for cycling or jet skiing games. : o
Just sayin'.
I'm going to steal the word scowlwarping and use it to become famous.

Scowlwarping isn't really a motion, though, so it wouldn't be a good fit for the Wii. It might get some use with Natal, though.
 

Podunk

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randommaster said:
I'm going to steal the word scowlwarping and use it to become famous.

Scowlwarping isn't really a motion, though, so it wouldn't be a good fit for the Wii. It might get some use with Natal, though.
A game that registers facial expressions and uses it to affect gameplay would be hillarious. Just think, a game like Mass Effect or Fable where you have to smile all the time or people won't give you their quests or something... if you frown you have to start the dialogue sequence all over again.
 

randommaster

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Podunk said:
randommaster said:
I'm going to steal the word scowlwarping and use it to become famous.

Scowlwarping isn't really a motion, though, so it wouldn't be a good fit for the Wii. It might get some use with Natal, though.
A game that registers facial expressions and uses it to affect gameplay would be hillarious. Just think, a game like Mass Effect or Fable where you have to smile all the time or people won't give you their quests or something... if you frown you have to start the dialogue sequence all over again.
That would be horribe! Imagine having to listen to some hhuge chun of plot exposition over again because you got bored. Or was this originally an idea to brainwash people into becoming the Joker?
 

zoozilla

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BlueInkAlchemist said:
We definitely need a good stealth game. We also need a stealth game that incorporates the picking of locks, tapping of phone lines, and investigation of evidence pointing to terrorist activity rather than solving an international crisis by shooting anybody in the area who isn't white directly in their non-Caucasian faces.
Why not go all the way? Why not include extraordinary rendition, or interrogations?
 

BlueInkAlchemist

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zoozilla said:
Why not go all the way? Why not include extraordinary rendition, or interrogations?
I would hope that the game designers would have the good sense to have it based more on the rendered emotional reactions of the person being interrogated, in a Law & Order or NCIS style conversation (perhaps using a Mass Effect-like branching tree system), rather than torture.

Meaning this conjectural game should not be developed by EA.
 

Starke

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I don't remember the AI in RF1 ever actually firing the rail guns when they could see you. Granted it's been nearly a decade since I played the game, but, still...
 

Canadamus Prime

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Given a choice Yahtzee, I think I'd rather play Wii Sports Resort then any of your suggestions; but whatever floats your boat dude.
 

Arkhangelsk

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Ha, loved the Wii Sports comments. I was never interested in Red Faction to begin with, but it gave me a few laughs anyway to read what he had to say.
 

Grand_Poohbah

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Yahtzee, there is actually a few storage tank type things that when detonated release explosions of green, blue, and purple. The poor child doesn't need his brain checked, you just need to pay a bit more attention before calling someone crazy.
 

Stabby Joe

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This is just more Red Faction: Guerrilla (of which he wouldn't care about if it wasn't called that, not so much whether the game is fun or not, plus I don't recall the game every being advertised as having stealth) and I thought this was a follow up on each game... unless everyone can agree Wii Sports Resort is a poor excuse of a greedy cash grab Nintendo style.
 

Jawshey

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I won't one of the people dragged into playing Wii Sports Resort, or be forced to pay for something that fixes my Wii. It was a flaw they should of dealt with in the first place. Now they're forcing me to buy the peripheral to play most of the future Wii games.

No. No I won't. I'd rather pay for that Project Natal gimmick and cut my 'casual' gaming onto my Xbox 360, since Nintendo is just extorting more money than I seem necessary. I think it should be a choice to buy and use Wii Motion Plus in games and not be forced to pay for it. You pay for the bonus that the Wii gets your commands better or you live without it and do the usual remote waggling. But then again, Nintendo wouldn't get as many sales.

It just brings me back to the N64's Expansion Pack that did basically nothing to improve games IMO, yet games stopped you from playing them UNLESS you had an Expansion Pack. Why couldn't we compromise for a cheaper price?

But no. We're still treated like the gimmicky consumers we are. Thanks Nintendo!

Now to go to Microsoft and pay real money for clothing I won't ever wear. Dam you M$!
 

orangebandguy

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So this is a companion to every video from now on? I guess it helps clear up arguements and stuff on the Video comments, and lets you elaborate certain points that may seem ambigous.
 

Voltano

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I always thought that "Red Faction" was a rip-off of the "Half-Life" games. Even then, I thought the 'destructive terrain' thing was kind of cool for combat purposes as it means that some cover you or your enemies were relying on could be reduced to open gaps similar to the barricades in a "Space Invaders" game. There was one point I remember where I was having a gun battle with a bunch of guards on a cat-walk at the beginning and, somehow, a hole emerged through the cat-walk which allowed either the enemies (or more possibly) me to throw grenades down.

Even then, I doubt you could actually dig to the exit in the first "Red Faction" game as I recall that the only weapon which can do such a thing in the beginning was this rocket launcher-like weapon, but had limited ammo.

Though I doubt the destructive terrain served much in combat in the first game...Its been years since I played it and even then, it didn't really innovate anything.

Good comments on the "Wii Sports" game, though I'm a bit confused on the argument that this is not so 'immersive'.
 

DaxStrife

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Angrylemming said:
I know what you mean. When I was playing Deus Ex there were parts where I was forced to abandon stealth and instead blast my way through. It worked but it sort of felt like cheating a bit that my mistake could be patched up with a few rockets to the face of whatever happened to be aiming a gun at me.
Actually, I like stealth games that work like that. Stealth, in and of itself, can get monotonous and boring if it's all you do in the game. I prefer an action game that encourages a stealth approach, much like Deus Ex. Sure you could have blasted every terrorist on Liberty Island to hell and back, charging into the fray each time, but it was more rewarding to creep from shadow to shrub, sneak up behind a thug and knock them out with a single jab from the stun prod. That was an action game that encouraged stealth so the action would happen on -your- terms.
 

KingPiccolOwned

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solidstatemind said:
I have high hopes for the new Thief game. Too bad we'll probably be waiting for 2 more years at least.
I wonder if Yahtzee is going to like the game Saboteur or however it is spelled. Personally I am not sold on it, however that may because it is set in France during WWII and we all should know how well the last game that did that worked out.
 

SomeUnregPunk

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RF1's destructive environment was only good if used cheats to give yourself unlimited ammo. i remember one level where I was forced to use the cheat God-mode because all the snipers was armed the rail gun that shoots through walls with infinite range.

RF2 destructive enviroment only worked in certain levels and just like in 1 when you hit metal you couldn't get around it.

For the Redfaction series of games I believe they really don't implement a true destructive environment.

"Warmonger: Operation Downtown Destruction" on the other hand but you either need the latest and greatest GeForce card or Ageia made PhysX ? a Physics Processing Unit chip, otherwise the game won't work. if does work on your system apparently this free game does implement destructive enviroment well for combat.
 

RRilef

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I think Yahtzee has set a dangerous precedent, responding to the fans.
 

Quadtrix

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I don't know why anyone would buy Wii Sports Resort. All it's good for is the Wii MotionPlus bundled with it, but there's better Wii MotionPlus bundles to choose from.
 

eels05

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So the Red Faction team need to make a game with destructible buildings AND terrain.
Also AI that acts like its jacked up on ICE that spawns endlessly till the mission is complete is...annoying.

If its not possible to deliver stealth then developers shouldn't go anywhere near it.
Couldn't help but like the game though,though as yet no compulsion to play again.

As far as the Wii goes,I bought the damn thing for my girlfriend for Christmas.She picks games that don't really attempt to use the motion control,so basically its a wasted function,on her anyway.
 

Stelman257

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canadamus_prime said:
Given a choice Yahtzee, I think I'd rather play Wii Sports Resort then any of your suggestions; but whatever floats your boat dude.
You prefer video game bowling to real life bowling? Heh, whatever floats your boat dude.
 

megapenguinx

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Never actually noticed this until just now but, Extra Punctuation?
How long has this been going on?
 

Canadamus Prime

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Stelman257 said:
canadamus_prime said:
Given a choice Yahtzee, I think I'd rather play Wii Sports Resort then any of your suggestions; but whatever floats your boat dude.
You prefer video game bowling to real life bowling? Heh, whatever floats your boat dude.
That wasn't what I said... oh wait, I guess that is what I said. Well I was mostly referring to to the more bizarre suggestions like doing the impression of Superman with the bird on his arm.
 

Woem

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Buying a frisbee: $1
Tipping a waiter in an extremely snooty, dismissive fashion: priceless
 

samsonguy920

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randommaster said:
Podunk said:
Pankeyman said:
Is it ok if I replace Superman with Batman? Or do I have to follow them to a T?
Don't be silly. Everyone knows Batman can't fly. Or if he did, you'd just have to pretend to be sitting in first class or on a private jet or something.
What are you talking about? Batman would simply scowl at the air until it submitted to his whims and took him where he wanted to go.

When he's really pissed, he'll scowl at the fabric of reality and instantaniously warp to the people whose asses he wants to kick.
Batman: The new Chuck Norris.

I would try many of those suggestions, but a lot seem to involve a lot of unnecessary messiness. I think I'd rather go do the real thing and get necessarily messinessed. But I would grin at anyone who does at least 5 of those things in public, saving it on youtube.
 

sunpop

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Midnight0000 said:
Damn, now every time I play wii sports, I'm going to imagine those things instead. Get it out of my head!
You don't play WII sports you endure it.

Also I liked red faction 1 but I was also young and hadn't become an avid gamer so that might be the reason.
 

Samurai Goomba

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BlueInkAlchemist said:
We definitely need a good stealth game. We also need a stealth game that incorporates the picking of locks, tapping of phone lines, and investigation of evidence pointing to terrorist activity rather than solving an international crisis by shooting anybody in the area who isn't white directly in their non-Caucasian faces.

Sid Meier's Covert Action did this waaaaay back in the day but such things are too boring for most people who consider Halo the pinnacle of an immersive action experience.
Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory.

You're welcome.
 

Nerdfury

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Wait, no one's commenting before they finish reading the article? No 'first!' comments?

I'm disappointed!
 

Cheesebob

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Mackinator said:
Cheesebob said:
That was hilarious, Mr Croshaw!

Also, what do you think of Hitman: Blood Money? That had the best of both worlds (if you were good enough)
Funnily enough I'm just off Blood Money and onto The Escapist. I started playing it a few days back and I agree. You can be stealthy when you want to for more of a challenge or you can run in all guns blazing when you just feel like killing all those Gun-wielding manics at the Wedding...
It was the opposite for me, I found the stealth easy but the going around guns blazing hard due to the lack of damage 47 could take.
 

Mackinator

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Cheesebob said:
~snip~
It was the opposite for me, I found the stealth easy but the going around guns blazing hard due to the lack of damage 47 could take.
I noticed that he couldn't take as much damage in this than previous ones too, but nothing can stop 47 with dual silverballers!

The reason I think its harder for me to stealth is because it takes much longer and I'm a little impatient...
 

Socken

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I'm amazed by how accurate the examples for Wii Sports Resort movements are.
 

hickwarrior

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Well, I guess it';s just a novelty to me, then. The real thing will always be better than the virtual thing, so there's no way an argument can be had here. Even though i liked it. But that's just one person.

Who wants to make a picture of themselves playing these wii sports resorts games?
 

thiosk

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Yahtzee Croshaw said:
Yahtzee provides some real world alternatives to the Wii Sports Resort activities.
Dear Yahtzee,

I do enjoy your Extra Punct. commentary. I suggest using some sort of
marker to identify the quoted comments, though, it is difficult to tell when timelord91 and pvtchunders comments begin. I suggest using the quote bbcodes familiar on the forums, or put them in bold, italics, or even center them on the page, to distinguish them from your own comments.

I look forward to seeing more of this in the future.
 

Terramax

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The first and third Tenchu games were fun stealth games. The great thing about them was the lovely blood that sprayed like an exploding ketchup bottle everytime you topped an enemy.

Shame the AI hasn't improved since those games.
 

Zand88

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Still isn't convincing me that Yahtzee reads anything here, or cares.
 

TriggerUnhappy

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So you're continuing to acknowledge that you read the comments huh? Alright cool, just starting to wonder if this will become a regular thing, if so your reviews of big blockbusters will be funny from all of the fanboys having a circle-jerk/riot.

EDIT:
thiosk said:
I suggest using some sort of
marker to identify the quoted comments, though, it is difficult to tell when timelord91 and pvtchunders comments begin. I suggest using the quote bbcodes familiar on the forums, or put them in bold, italics, or even center them on the page, to distinguish them from your own comments.
This would definitely be welcomed, can make your articles much easier to read.
 

randommaster

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samsonguy920 said:
randommaster said:
Podunk said:
Pankeyman said:
Is it ok if I replace Superman with Batman? Or do I have to follow them to a T?
Don't be silly. Everyone knows Batman can't fly. Or if he did, you'd just have to pretend to be sitting in first class or on a private jet or something.
What are you talking about? Batman would simply scowl at the air until it submitted to his whims and took him where he wanted to go.

When he's really pissed, he'll scowl at the fabric of reality and instantaniously warp to the people whose asses he wants to kick.
Batman: The new Chuck Norris.

I would try many of those suggestions, but a lot seem to involve a lot of unnecessary messiness. I think I'd rather go do the real thing and get necessarily messinessed. But I would grin at anyone who does at least 5 of those things in public, saving it on youtube.
Nah, Batman's not anything like Chuck Norris, he's just super pissed and crazy prepared, so oxygen knows he probably has a plan to kick its ass if it doesn't do what he wants.
 

Chrinik

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There was green explosions when you blow up one of the EDFs septictank things...
Not sure for purple tho...

Nice one there XD

Yeah, i too missed alot of "guerilla" in this game.
 

evan573

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i'm getting to love these bits, its like more zero puctuation thats targeted on a single flaw or flawed area in a game.

Keep writing these, Yahtzee! cos if you stop i'll be sad.
 

ThatJagoGuy

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Wow, that's the first time Yahtzee has made me chuckle in a long while. I think, perhaps, the videos have gotten to the point of flogging the decaying corpse of what was already something of a one-trick pony. Written articles are definitely the way forward... or I guess, to be more chronologically correct, backwards... but you get my point.
 

Uncle Putte

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I have to say I imagine reviewing Wii Sports to be a bit like kicking puppies. There's nothing whatsoever the game could be expected to say or do to please. Sports collection games started off with Track & Field, if memory serves me right, and as such the whole genre's history is a history of endless irritation. I can't say I see why whomever produces these games goes through the effort when they could be putting their time and effort, and most importantly money, into something creative and at least remotely intresting.

And then again, here I am, a grown man complaining about console games. Pots and kettles. Still, the whole thing is dull to the point even thinking of things to complain about in it is like pulling teeth. I sort of wish Yahtzee did more reviews of older games when drought hits.
 

TimeLord

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Wooo, I got mentioned in that Extra Punctuation, and to be fair I didnt like the railguns either.
 

CrystalShadow

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Mah. I gave up paying any attention to Yahtzee's actual opinion the moment he proclaimed Half Life 2 the best thing ever while simultaneously criticising other games for much the same things that happen to be the worst aspects of the Half Life series.

It's funny as hell, but also completely meaningless.
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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randommaster said:
samsonguy920 said:
randommaster said:
Podunk said:
Pankeyman said:
Is it ok if I replace Superman with Batman? Or do I have to follow them to a T?
Don't be silly. Everyone knows Batman can't fly. Or if he did, you'd just have to pretend to be sitting in first class or on a private jet or something.
What are you talking about? Batman would simply scowl at the air until it submitted to his whims and took him where he wanted to go.

When he's really pissed, he'll scowl at the fabric of reality and instantaniously warp to the people whose asses he wants to kick.
Batman: The new Chuck Norris.

I would try many of those suggestions, but a lot seem to involve a lot of unnecessary messiness. I think I'd rather go do the real thing and get necessarily messinessed. But I would grin at anyone who does at least 5 of those things in public, saving it on youtube.
Nah, Batman's not anything like Chuck Norris, he's just super pissed and crazy prepared, so oxygen knows he probably has a plan to kick its ass if it doesn't do what he wants.
But all of them fail compared to Bruce Campbell.
 

randommaster

New member
Sep 10, 2008
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Revelo said:
randommaster said:
samsonguy920 said:
randommaster said:
Podunk said:
Pankeyman said:
Is it ok if I replace Superman with Batman? Or do I have to follow them to a T?
Don't be silly. Everyone knows Batman can't fly. Or if he did, you'd just have to pretend to be sitting in first class or on a private jet or something.
What are you talking about? Batman would simply scowl at the air until it submitted to his whims and took him where he wanted to go.

When he's really pissed, he'll scowl at the fabric of reality and instantaniously warp to the people whose asses he wants to kick.
Batman: The new Chuck Norris.

I would try many of those suggestions, but a lot seem to involve a lot of unnecessary messiness. I think I'd rather go do the real thing and get necessarily messinessed. But I would grin at anyone who does at least 5 of those things in public, saving it on youtube.
Nah, Batman's not anything like Chuck Norris, he's just super pissed and crazy prepared, so oxygen knows he probably has a plan to kick its ass if it doesn't do what he wants.
But all of them fail compared to Bruce Campbell.
Are we talking about the man himself, or the people he plays in movies?
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

New member
Aug 8, 2007
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randommaster said:
Revelo said:
randommaster said:
samsonguy920 said:
randommaster said:
Podunk said:
Pankeyman said:
Is it ok if I replace Superman with Batman? Or do I have to follow them to a T?
Don't be silly. Everyone knows Batman can't fly. Or if he did, you'd just have to pretend to be sitting in first class or on a private jet or something.
What are you talking about? Batman would simply scowl at the air until it submitted to his whims and took him where he wanted to go.

When he's really pissed, he'll scowl at the fabric of reality and instantaniously warp to the people whose asses he wants to kick.
Batman: The new Chuck Norris.

I would try many of those suggestions, but a lot seem to involve a lot of unnecessary messiness. I think I'd rather go do the real thing and get necessarily messinessed. But I would grin at anyone who does at least 5 of those things in public, saving it on youtube.
Nah, Batman's not anything like Chuck Norris, he's just super pissed and crazy prepared, so oxygen knows he probably has a plan to kick its ass if it doesn't do what he wants.
But all of them fail compared to Bruce Campbell.
Are we talking about the man himself, or the people he plays in movies?
Does it matter? It's Bruce 'freakin' Campbell!
 

Communist partisan

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Jan 24, 2009
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I played red faction guerrila at one of my friends and i don't finding it so.... um... well it have nothing whith the title "guerrila" to do the best thing to do is jam a truck, car, APC or a tank in a building than run out whith for an example the gauss rifle and shoot everyone in the balls untill they say on the ground... but i had fun whith the demoliton and heavy metal quests.
 

randommaster

New member
Sep 10, 2008
1,802
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Revelo said:
randommaster said:
Revelo said:
randommaster said:
samsonguy920 said:
randommaster said:
Podunk said:
Pankeyman said:
Is it ok if I replace Superman with Batman? Or do I have to follow them to a T?
Don't be silly. Everyone knows Batman can't fly. Or if he did, you'd just have to pretend to be sitting in first class or on a private jet or something.
What are you talking about? Batman would simply scowl at the air until it submitted to his whims and took him where he wanted to go.

When he's really pissed, he'll scowl at the fabric of reality and instantaniously warp to the people whose asses he wants to kick.
Batman: The new Chuck Norris.

I would try many of those suggestions, but a lot seem to involve a lot of unnecessary messiness. I think I'd rather go do the real thing and get necessarily messinessed. But I would grin at anyone who does at least 5 of those things in public, saving it on youtube.
Nah, Batman's not anything like Chuck Norris, he's just super pissed and crazy prepared, so oxygen knows he probably has a plan to kick its ass if it doesn't do what he wants.
But all of them fail compared to Bruce Campbell.
Are we talking about the man himself, or the people he plays in movies?
Does it matter? It's Bruce 'freakin' Campbell!
Yeah, but it's so much more fun to put real people against other real people, so that when you see it on the news, you get to see headlines like "Superman fights with Jack Sparrow," or "Tenacious D confronted by Punisher."
 

WayOutThere

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Aug 1, 2009
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CrystalShadow said:
Mah. I gave up paying any attention to Yahtzee's actual opinion the moment he proclaimed Half Life 2 the best thing ever while simultaneously criticising other games for much the same things that happen to be the worst aspects of the Half Life series.

It's funny as hell, but also completely meaningless.
I'm not sure what you're talking about with Half Life 2. He did not say it was "the best thing ever", he said it was "genuinely good".

As far as his opinions in ZP being meaningless- maybe. I expected better out of EP though.
 

Warped Pixel

New member
Aug 4, 2009
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Huh so what happens after you shoot someone out the sky in dog fights? Do they perish or just get a lame parachute out.
 

Suikun

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Mar 25, 2009
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To be honest, I have to agree with Uncle Putte here... saying that a casual game sucks (especially a casual game about sports) is much akin to making fun of the mentally retarded kid in school. While your points may be valid in the sense that they lack what other games (humans) do here and there, it comes with the territory, and saying that it's terrible from a hard-core gamer's perspective is redundant!

(No offense meant to anyone and all that disclaimer crap)

Honestly, I don't like the Wii much myself. Aside from Super Mario Galaxy and Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, I've not found much more than casual games to entertain myself with. Okay, Red Steel was pretty cool, admittedly, and anybody who complains that the controls for that were not absolutely perfect needs to remember that it was one of the first games out for the system, and they were still working things out. But I dislike it because it's not a hardcore-gamer system, and it doesn't have to be. It seems like that's the sole reason so many people are pissed off about the system; the fact that it doesn't cater to the same fanboy crowd it used to.

I quoted it before, and I'll quote again, "I guess it's better to be the king of Retard-Land than to try and continue to please the [insatiable fanboy crowd]."
 

theultimateend

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Nov 1, 2007
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Curtmiester said:
I've actually never played an awesome stealth game. So a really good one would be a sure buy for me.
Did you not like the early thief games? I thought for the time they provided a pretty solid experiment.

I loved the little chatter of the guards when they heard something.

"Did you hear something?"
"No."
"You farted didn't you?"

"Did you hear something?"
"Probably a cat."

The cat one generally being the response after you do something like miss someone with an arrow.
 

CrystalShadow

don't upset the insane catgirl
Apr 11, 2009
3,829
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WayOutThere said:
CrystalShadow said:
Mah. I gave up paying any attention to Yahtzee's actual opinion the moment he proclaimed Half Life 2 the best thing ever while simultaneously criticising other games for much the same things that happen to be the worst aspects of the Half Life series.

It's funny as hell, but also completely meaningless.
I'm not sure what you're talking about with Half Life 2. He did not say it was "the best thing ever", he said it was "genuinely good".

As far as his opinions in ZP being meaningless- maybe. I expected better out of EP though.
Heh. I was blowing things out of proportion perhaps.
It was a while since I watched the actual review of Half-Life 2.

I was half-expecting to get flamed by a rabid fan, but I guess that's not so common on the escapist. - To be honest, I wasn't entirely prepared to answer a reasonable response to this statement.

I think Yahtzee's reviews are quite amusing.
But details aside, I just have learned not to take them particularly seriously, especially since his taste is nothing like mine, and a lot of the games he reviews (regardless of what he thinks of them) are ones I wouldn't play anyway.

I've been mulling over a parody of Zero Punctuation where I review Yahtzee, but that seems just a little bit...
Excessive. XD
 

Lovesfool

New member
Jan 28, 2009
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Hmmm... It doesn't seem like you really played the game much, did you Yahtzee. You just felt like you had to do a ZPR for Wii Sports Resort, but when you started playing you thought better of it after 10 minutes.

It's not the game of the century, but there is a lot more to it, if you play passed the first 30 minutes in every game and start having some real competition against you. It's a rather big game (in length) that sucks you in (and not the other way around).

You are busted my friend.
 

XSA37

New member
Aug 5, 2009
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Just imagining some of the actions that you detailed was scary. I think my mind will be forever scarred from this EP entry.
 

CuddlyCombine

New member
Sep 12, 2007
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Lovesfool said:
Hmmm... It doesn't seem like you really played the game much, did you Yahtzee. You just felt like you had to do a ZPR for Wii Sports Resort, but when you started playing you thought better of it after 10 minutes.

It's not the game of the century, but there is a lot more to it, if you play passed the first 30 minutes in every game and start having some real competition against you. It's a rather big game (in length) that sucks you in (and not the other way around).

You are busted my friend.
You realize that he's assigned these, right? He doesn't choose to do them. See, the Escapist picks them, gives them to him to review, and he gets paid to attract us viewers.

Also, note that nowhere does he criticize the game for lack of playtime or insufficient challenges. He just thinks the Wiimote is shite. As should all rational people.

Suikun said:
To be honest, I have to agree with Uncle Putte here... saying that a casual game sucks (especially a casual game about sports) is much akin to making fun of the mentally retarded kid in school. While your points may be valid in the sense that they lack what other games (humans) do here and there, it comes with the territory, and saying that it's terrible from a hard-core gamer's perspective is redundant!

(No offense meant to anyone and all that disclaimer crap)

Honestly, I don't like the Wii much myself. Aside from Super Mario Galaxy and Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, I've not found much more than casual games to entertain myself with. Okay, Red Steel was pretty cool, admittedly, and anybody who complains that the controls for that were not absolutely perfect needs to remember that it was one of the first games out for the system, and they were still working things out. But I dislike it because it's not a hardcore-gamer system, and it doesn't have to be. It seems like that's the sole reason so many people are pissed off about the system; the fact that it doesn't cater to the same fanboy crowd it used to.

I quoted it before, and I'll quote again, "I guess it's better to be the king of Retard-Land than to try and continue to please the [insatiable fanboy crowd]."
He's not saying that casual games suck. As he admits in the review, everyone's always down for some mindless 'idiot' fun. Scathing namecalling aside, it's true. The main things he criticizes are the Wiimote's continued shortfalls and the strangeness of a dogfighting minigame in a sports simulator. So, while your analogy makes sense, I don't think that games which don't aim to please the hardcore crowd should receive better treatment just because they're not trying (Obviously, this analogy does not apply to humans, as mentally handicapped kids didn't choose to be vegetables).

Meh. I can see people disagreeing with his opinion, but there's no reason to call him out on a perceived bias when he's a critic. This is his job. And probably his only redeeming talent.

I kid, I kid.
 

saiyanwarrior

New member
Jun 14, 2009
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BlueInkAlchemist said:
We definitely need a good stealth game. We also need a stealth game that incorporates the picking of locks, tapping of phone lines, and investigation of evidence pointing to terrorist activity rather than solving an international crisis by shooting anybody in the area who isn't white directly in their non-Caucasian faces.

Sid Meier's Covert Action did this waaaaay back in the day but such things are too boring for most people who consider Halo the pinnacle of an immersive action experience.
" Halo the pinnacle of an immersive action experience" ROFL good one I can't believe I used to like those games give me summoner 1 or 2 any day of the week.may have been volitions first attempts at rpgs but damnn were they good if you can handle a few gameplay issues for stonking story and actual characters with depth instead of card-board cut outs.
 

Turnabout Clerk

New member
Aug 10, 2009
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Wow....... if Yahtzee's suggestions make it into a Wii mini-game collection, I'll stop my "I don't favor any system" mindset and run to the 360 and PS3. And I'd burn my Wii in a bonfire of all the shitty games on the damn thing.
 

Lovesfool

New member
Jan 28, 2009
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CuddlyCombine said:
Lovesfool said:
Hmmm... It doesn't seem like you really played the game much, did you Yahtzee. You just felt like you had to do a ZPR for Wii Sports Resort, but when you started playing you thought better of it after 10 minutes.

It's not the game of the century, but there is a lot more to it, if you play passed the first 30 minutes in every game and start having some real competition against you. It's a rather big game (in length) that sucks you in (and not the other way around).

You are busted my friend.
You realize that he's assigned these, right? He doesn't choose to do them. See, the Escapist picks them, gives them to him to review, and he gets paid to attract us viewers.

Also, note that nowhere does he criticize the game for lack of playtime or insufficient challenges. He just thinks the Wiimote is shite. As should all rational people.

Suikun said:
To be honest, I have to agree with Uncle Putte here... saying that a casual game sucks (especially a casual game about sports) is much akin to making fun of the mentally retarded kid in school. While your points may be valid in the sense that they lack what other games (humans) do here and there, it comes with the territory, and saying that it's terrible from a hard-core gamer's perspective is redundant!

(No offense meant to anyone and all that disclaimer crap)

Honestly, I don't like the Wii much myself. Aside from Super Mario Galaxy and Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, I've not found much more than casual games to entertain myself with. Okay, Red Steel was pretty cool, admittedly, and anybody who complains that the controls for that were not absolutely perfect needs to remember that it was one of the first games out for the system, and they were still working things out. But I dislike it because it's not a hardcore-gamer system, and it doesn't have to be. It seems like that's the sole reason so many people are pissed off about the system; the fact that it doesn't cater to the same fanboy crowd it used to.

I quoted it before, and I'll quote again, "I guess it's better to be the king of Retard-Land than to try and continue to please the [insatiable fanboy crowd]."
He's not saying that casual games suck. As he admits in the review, everyone's always down for some mindless 'idiot' fun. Scathing namecalling aside, it's true. The main things he criticizes are the Wiimote's continued shortfalls and the strangeness of a dogfighting minigame in a sports simulator. So, while your analogy makes sense, I don't think that games which don't aim to please the hardcore crowd should receive better treatment just because they're not trying (Obviously, this analogy does not apply to humans, as mentally handicapped kids didn't choose to be vegetables).

Meh. I can see people disagreeing with his opinion, but there's no reason to call him out on a perceived bias when he's a critic. This is his job. And probably his only redeeming talent.

I kid, I kid.
I know this reply is way too late to make any sense any more, but still, I could not let it go.

I don't have a problem with Zero Punctuation. Actually, although I am sure that was not the intent at all, most of the times I agree with the review and think it is pretty fair (sarcasm included and all). Once you get comfy with the lingo, you can really draw a conclussion on every game mentioned.

That is why I don't think he actually spent too much time on the game, because otherwise he would have got to the point where single player becomes way too hard for a casual gamer. As casual games go, perhaps that is the true barrier in the game, which may allienate the people accustomed to playing Wii Sports or Wii Fit. Wii Sports Resort is HARD.
 

CuddlyCombine

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Sep 12, 2007
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Lovesfool said:
I know this reply is way too late to make any sense any more, but still, I could not let it go.

I don't have a problem with Zero Punctuation. Actually, although I am sure that was not the intent at all, most of the times I agree with the review and think it is pretty fair (sarcasm included and all). Once you get comfy with the lingo, you can really draw a conclussion on every game mentioned.

That is why I don't think he actually spent too much time on the game, because otherwise he would have got to the point where single player becomes way too hard for a casual gamer. As casual games go, perhaps that is the true barrier in the game, which may allienate the people accustomed to playing Wii Sports or Wii Fit. Wii Sports Resort is HARD.
That's to be assumed with this sort of thing, though. When you've got a sandbox game which revolves around you completing the same task again and again at increasing levels of difficulty, it almost always gets past the threshold of "twitch-gamer" difficulty.
 
Mar 1, 2009
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I don't think Yahtzee can really tell people their opinion is wrong because some people aren't that bothered by certain things you are. For instance, he mentioned in his Assasins review that the ending was shitty because there were too many dudes to murder. I played it, and although I noticed this, it didn't really bother me because it was so awesome to do the non-lethal counter on some rent-a-cop guard then stride over and finish him with the hidden blade.