Witty and memorable quotations

[SplashyAxis]

"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move."

"The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't."

"Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws."

The Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy

 

[VivaciousDeimos]

I have a few favorites:

Pretty much anything Mark Twain said ever.

"There is a great streak of violence in every human being. If it is not channeled and understood, it will break out in war or in madness." ~Sam Peckinpah

"I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones." ~John Peel

"What we see before us is just one tiny part of the world. We get into the habit of thinking, this is the world, but that's not true at all. The real world is a much darker and deeper place than this, and much of it is occupied by jellyfish and things."
~Haruki Murakami

"We poison our air and water to weed out the weak! We set off fission bombs in our only biosphere! We nailed our god to a stick! Don't fuck with the human race!"
~A forum post at TVtropes.com

And finally:
Me (randomly): What is the female equivalent of bromance?
Roommate's boyfriend: Hot.

You and I are going to get along quite well.

That's good, I like getting along with people...why specifically are we getting along? Or I guess which of my quote selections speaks to you?

 

[GoldenCondor]

That's good, I like getting along with people...why specifically are we getting along? Or I guess which of my quote selections speaks to you?

All of them, considering they were actually funny/witty as opposed to 90% of everything else in this thread.

 

[VivaciousDeimos]

That's good, I like getting along with people...why specifically are we getting along? Or I guess which of my quote selections speaks to you?

All of them, considering they were actually funny/witty as opposed to 90% of everything else in this thread.

Thank you I only wish I knew the actual author of the TV Tropes one, rather than just the general area it came from, because once I read it, it became an instant favorite.

 

[thylasos]

I'll go with Winston Churchill's retort to an old Etonian's reproach, on coming out of the toliet.

OE: At Eton they taught us to wash our hands after using the toilet...

WN: At Harrow, they taught us not to piss on our hands.