Worlds Worst Excuses

[Vendayn]

my friend (a guy) a few years back...said this

"I didn't know it was a guy, and I was drunk..."

 

[A random person]

"The writers made me do it." Even if it's true, no one will believe you.

Also, I pity the kid who's dog actually did eat his homework.

 

[pompom8volt]

"I was dead at the time!" "I was on the moon with Steve!"

67 cookies for reference

also, (I actually heard a kid say this) "I thought condoms were an accessory"

Sadly some one posted a video of that on the forum already.

 

[Jedamethis]

I blame Society

 

[FallenRainbows]

http://www.cnsnews.com/public/content/article.aspx?RsrcID=52240

Florida man downloads child porn. Claims cat did it.

Fail. Read the Op.

 

[yankeefan19]

The Door was off it's hinges when I got here, the pizzas were always on the celing

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

It broke itself.

 

[Triple AD]

"They made me do it"

 

[AboveUp]

"I was dead at the time!" "I was on the moon with Steve!"

Damnit, the first thing I thought of when I saw the thread was Eddie Izzard.
Nice one.

 

[Jenkins]

"my dog ate it"

and

"IT wasn't rape, she told me she enjoyed it!"

 

[Kriptonite]

"This is exactly what it looks like"

 

[TheScarecrow]

- Where's my money?
- A bird took it.

Cookie for reference.

Scrubs!!

 

[TZer0]

"Of course I wrote this myself, I wouldn't use an online translator!" - while working with someone on a presentation in German.

"It is your fault that I lost the documents I saved in the temporary-cache of the browser!"

 

[Leesee]

Its not you its me
or
I just couldn't stop myself
Or
It was Eve she ate the apple and seduced me!

 

[TheScarecrow]

I did it because- Run!! *run away*.

Someone's mind-controlling me.

 

[Archemetis]

"God has a plan for us all..."

Also one I've honestly tried using.

"I slipped and fell in her!"

aswell as.

"Now you know I'm not thinking about stuff when you're naked..."

(Yes, it's kind of another Scrubs reference, but honestly the person I said it to, was quite often naked...)

 

[TheScarecrow]

Also: "It was an accident."
It is never an accident.

Did you watch Hot Fuzz today too?

 

[Arkhangelsk]

- Where's my money?
- A bird took it.

Cookie for reference.

Scrubs!!

Sorry, you were beaten to it. But here's half a cookie for trying.

Spoiler

 

[Valkyira]

"She couldn't have seen my face, i was wearing a balaclava!!!"

My fellow British escapians should know where thats from...

 

[TheScarecrow]

- Where's my money?
- A bird took it.

Cookie for reference.

Scrubs!!

Sorry, you were beaten to it. But here's half a cookie for trying.

Spoiler

I saw, blast and damnation.