worst insult youve recieved from family,friends,etc? jokingly or seriously

[sparks12]

Jokingly?: you and your father are good at terrible jokes
serious/worst:mom:"you are a pathetic excuse for a human being, i regret staying home to raise you. "Also, she tends to mention how she almost had me aborted.
Dad:"all you ever do is screw up, you always fuck things up for everyone and everything"

My family isnt known for being especially kind. Im the one nice guy...leads to a healthy amount of "what girl would ever date you? Youre a sorry excuse for a man." Which led to me surprising them when i told them i had a wonderful girlfriend, she was beautiful, and we were together for a while before breaking up

 

[Zontar]

I've got a pretty thick stick coupled with my friends pretty much always using the same joke, so I'd have to say when a friend called my broccoli for a reason I can't even remember. It wasn't so much offensive as it was just bad. Like it sucked pretty bad as a joke.

 

[sanquin]

Jokingly? That I'm terrible (at something), that I should die, that I don't count, that I poison people with my cooking, and the list goes on. Really, friends, family, doesn't matter. We can throw insults at each other all day, coming up with worse and worse and know we don't mean it. Even with my mother.

Serious? Hmm, can't remember really. I tend to forget those kinds of things. Either because it got so bad I banished that person from my life, or because I didn't care long enough to remember. Maybe it also helps that I've grown a very thick skin over the years.

 

[Queen Michael]

My brother once called me a reader of Rob Liefeld comics. I tried to defend myself by pointing out that they were written by Alan Moore, but it still stung.

 

[Frothy Gibblets]

"No woman is ever going to want you" "What do you have to offer anyone you're not good enough" "Why are you wasting your time talking to that girl, she's at university, you won't be enough for her when she has a decent paying job"

All things said in seriousness by my father over the years. When you're just starting to notice women and puberty is occurring, having those type of things said really fucked me up to the point where I can't form any kind of emotional attachment to women. The kicker? Now that I'm 27 and my Dad has forgotten all the emotional abuse (there was plenty more, and he refuses to accept he did anything wrong other than be, in his words "a little too strict") he's constantly badgering me about finding a girlfriend, or I should be married at my age or whatever. Probably should just suck it up to be fair, but at this point it's all so deeply engrained that I don't imagine I'll ever get right in this regard.

That's the funny thing, people can say things and they don't affect me, but when it's your parents, or just my Dad in this case, they carry so much more weight.

 

[mysecondlife]

My dad called me son-of-a-***** (seriously)

Irony.

We get along fine most of the time though

 

[FateWitch13]

Mom: "Your first baby is always your favorite. I will never love another human being the way I love her. It just isn't the same." {I'm the youngest btw and her "baby" is a chronic thieving, manipulative sociopath}.

 

[likalaruku]

I used flour tortillas in a chicken enchilada casserole instead of corn tortillas once. My mother & uncle commented frequently over the course of a weak that they were more like dumplings than enchiladas & that I should never use flour tortillas ever ever ever again. Ever.

It was like a full week of "you dun fukt up dinner."

 

[Cowabungaa]

Next to a wide variety of swear words, I've been called a failure, someone who couldn't do anything, a weirdo/freak, fat, gay in the sense that girls would never like me, that sort of thing.

My teenage years were fun. Emotional abuse is delightful for a person's mental health.

 

[Armadox]

My brother once called me a reader of Rob Liefeld comics. I tried to defend myself by pointing out that they were written by Alan Moore, but it still stung.

I used to make fun of Rob Liefeld myself, but stopped doing that after I got into dealing with the comic community from the creator side. Rob might not be the best artist, but that's no excuse to bad mouth his content because somewhere there are people who absolutely love his stuff having grew up with his style in the 90s. Rob is not for everyone, but I'll take his ridiculous style and strange proportions over say, Greg Land's outright tracing.

Anyways, it's tough being Rob Liefeld now, even though you can see him trying to get better ( he's been drawing feet lately) no one takes him seriously, and DC's been putting him on projects right before they plan to cancel them anyways meaning a lot of the content he's been attempting to lead is doomed before he even goes to sit at the desk. Can you imagine what it's like being the grim reaper of an industry you love and helped build up?

-----------

That actually brings me to the topic actually, my father was a mechanic. He knew cars intimately, but that was the breath and scope of his world. When I was born all he wanted was for me to take up the skills he had, and when it turned out that my interests laid in art he became disappointed and walled off. He never understood what I did for a living til a year or so before he died, meaning I spent my life with him disappointed in me. A childhood of being called lazy and worthless because I didn't care to build cars ( or even much have interest in learning to drive) was what I got to enjoy because all he saw was me in my room at my desk. He though that I was wasting my time, that my skills didn't have real world merit, and not knowing how to work a trade meant I'll always be a laborer. Thought at times he tried, trying to push me to get into newspaper comics or draw for car magazines because he understood them. He'd refer to me as the next Ed Roth to his friends because it beat "the kid watches cartoons and doodles all day".

I left home very early, angry at him for not understanding me.

He met what would be my wife once a few years ago, where I showed him what I've worked on and the empire I've built. I thought I was getting my vengeance then, my time to shine where I showed him that he was wrong. I guess I did, but he died a month later, so it didn't really matter.

You can let the insults of others define you, using them to wall off yourself and get hard. You can let them fuel you to be better, or forgive them completely and move on without those chains around your throat. I know which path I took. I hope others find themselves better then my choices....

 

[The Almighty Aardvark]

Not sure if if this counts as an insult, but it's the most insulting thing I remember a friend saying to me. Back during high school I was sleeping over at a friend's house. Within minutes of waking up one of my friends there looked at me with utter disgust and asked "Dude, do you ever wash your face?"

Why yes, yes I did. Did shit all for get rid of my acne though.

EDIT: Jokingly? Someone once told me that they would "shit in your milk, you groinless asscream"

Probably the most creative insult I've had the grace to receive.

 

[Kopikatsu]

My mother liked to remind me that she tried to have me aborted and really wished that it had worked.

My grandmother likes to remind me that I'm worth more to her dead than alive (She took out a million dollar life insurance policy on me for reasons unknown).

Both serious.

 

[Gladion]

It wasn't directed at me, but it might as well have for the effect: "NPC"

Like, how mean is that?

 

[Dalisclock]

I have an uncle who spent 20 years in the Army, so when I told him that was was planning on not re-enlisting in the Navy when my contract was up, he got all butt hurt about it, told me I had to stay because I'd never find a job on the outside, and then when he couldn't convince me, went to my dad(his brother) and tried to get him to "talk sense into me". I think that's what really pissed me off(and I knew about it because dad told me).

I haven't talked to that uncle since then. That's not the only reason but it's a big one.

 

[Rebel_Raven]

I get along with my immediate family pretty well, so I really don't remember anything of note.

Not so immediate family? An aunt looked me dead in the eyes and told me I was going to hell. Dead serious. Coz I didn't go to church.

 

[Ishal]

"Never going to please a woman"
"Beta perma-virgin"
"Nose is bigger than your dick"
"Manchild" (and variations thereof)

Various attacks at my masculinity and intelligence.

All of the above have been used in "joking" situations as well as serious ones.

 

[small]

two spring to mind, an aunt i used to be close to on discovering i was changing gender "dont let that freak near any of our kids" and to keep the peace when a religious relative rings the 2 uncles i care for pretend i cease to exist when talking to her

 

[Johnny Impact]

Jokingly - too many to list. My brother and I rip into each other more or less constantly.

Seriously - not taking seriously the notion that I won't ever have a girlfriend, get married, etc. Just brushing aside the awful history, social retardation, and determination not to make those mistakes again, as if all of it means nothing. My experience is worthless, my decision is worthless, they're the only ones who know anything about anything.

Also, my brother recently got engaged to his girlfriend. Simply because I didn't do the cliche "gasp, awwwwwwwwwwwww" and go all weepy like a girl when they broke the news, my sister told me I didn't care. I found that deeply offensive. Of course I care. She's sweet, he's at least tolerable, and I wish them nothing but the best. I was simply a little distracted, seeing as how I was holding the edge of the table with a white-knuckle grip, waiting for someone to say to me (for the umpteenth time), "When are YOU going to do that?"

 

[Ryallen]

Well, besides all of the insults that I got as a child by my peers such as gay, ******, mole boy, booty shorts, and whatnot, including the people that I called my friends? Probably the worst insult, that probably wasn't an insult in of itself, was that the vice principal told me that it was my fault and that I needed to change.

Of course, that doesn't even begin to compare to the shit that I give myself when I'm alone. I never give myself credit for anything that anyone else would consider good simply because the only thing running through my head when I complete the task is "Someone else would have done it better." I don't even know where this behavioral pattern came from, but all I know is that I hate myself and everything that I do, because I know that anyone and everyone can do it and better. But I suppose that it doesn't count, so I'll just go with my first choice.

 

[FPLOON]

Well, my past self would have said this:

"You are the whitest brother I've ever met..." -My grandpa (after "visiting" me for the first time after about 9 years)

My grandpa is one of those fathers that did whatever he wanted, even if he was married... Went through three marriages in total, with my grandma being the first one... And he still acts like he can just barge into your home unannounced and say that particular line to your face with the straightest of faces before leaving back to Texas...

*sighs* I question pending family reunions that start off this way...

But, since he passed away not too long ago, I see no point bringing that "insult" up without realizing that I didn't really care about my grandpa in general[footnote]It's not a long story, per se, but I digress...[/footnote]...

Instead, I'll say that just recently I was talking to my step-uncle about what I wanted to do with my life... Outside of constantly telling "reminding" me that I would never make enough money to even become a published writer in the first place and would be better off winning the lottery than to just publish fiction-based literature, his means of "insulting" stern from the "work is never fun" and "every job has a boss you don't like" mindset and, without uttering a single derogatory word/slang (let alone say anything in a tone akin to "insulting" someone), would blatantly go straight for the negative if what has been said by someone (mostly me) does not comply to his mindset... He's been doing this for years, but only now has it been more obvious...

On a related, but "lighter", note, I could not stop laughing a his reaction to finding out that there are people that make a sustainable income just doing something as simply as "recording yourself playing video games"... It lead to him "jokingly" saying that those people would be better off becoming an actor than to continue with what they do now...