Would you date a former cheater?

Phasmal

Sailor Jupiter Woman
Jun 10, 2011
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game-lover said:
Phasmal said:
Haha.
It does beg the question why you started this thread if you were just gonna get all flapped if someone actually said `no`.
Actually... that was me. *finger waves*



For myself, I lean more toward the no camp than yes at the moment...
Oh pardon me, disgruntled started the other one. Whoops.

I have nothing against former cheaters, but apparently I am somehow punishing them or judging them by not wanting to date them.
I'm just evil like that.
 

Zulnam

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Feb 22, 2010
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I don't date a woman based on her past, but based on her present-day set of skills.

If you know what I mean...
 

The Tibballs

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Jun 3, 2012
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Personally I don't mind if someone has cheated before, we all make mistakes and what's past is past and the other thing is if someones going to cheat on you they're going do it regardless of whether they cheated before, simple as that.
 

Sarah Frazier

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Dec 7, 2010
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Assuming I was single, I'd be hesitant to get into anything serious with someone who has cheated multiple times recently. They can say they want to change, but they could have said that same thing to others. We could be friends, but more than that will take time and trust.
 

370999

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May 17, 2010
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Depends

Why did they cheat? When did they cheat? Was it ages ago? Do they have a habit of cheating? Are they repentant over it? Are they likely to cheat again?
 

rosac

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Sep 13, 2008
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I love how clear cut people are. They seem to ignore that emotion thing that fucks around with logic. Find someone you love, go out with them for a while and then find out that they've cheated in the past. I very much doubt you'll mind.
 

disgruntledgamer

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Mar 6, 2012
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Phasmal said:
Haha.
It does beg the question why you started this thread if you were just gonna get all flapped if someone actually said `no`.

It's still confusing to me why you actually care.
This is not going to affect me in any way. I already have a boyfriend so who I will or will not date is really not relevant, and it's really not uncommon for people not to want to date someone who has cheated before.
If you feel that makes me bad or judgemental, well... I couldn't care less.

Still confused why you're not arguing with everyone else who said `no`.
I started this............. Cough.........ok if you say so.

And there is a big difference between saying no probably not and saying "No" in an almost snooty, superior stuck up matter, at least that's how you're rubbing off on me. Like I said I don't cheat, mainly because I've seen the repercussions of cheating like HPVs that cause cervical cancer which condoms don't block, but I'm not going to sit there and be judgmental of someone who might of made a mistake over half a decade ago. Believe it or not people do change, sometimes for better, sometimes for worse.

370999 said:
Depends

Why did they cheat? When did they cheat? Was it ages ago? Do they have a habit of cheating? Are they repentant over it? Are they likely to cheat again?
Someone with an open reasonable mind, lets get all the facts together before we start passing out judgment.
 

FaerWen

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Oct 6, 2010
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I am sad to say that I have once cheated on a girlfriend of mine, and before the event had happened I had always told myself that it was something I would never do. Of course, controlling our emotions is a difficult task, especially in our tumultuous high school years, but, speaking for myself at least, after having hurt some one in such a way, I feel its safe to say it is something I will not do again. It was a temporary lapse in judgement, and it lead to the collapse of both relationships, but having learned from the whole ordeal, I would not say it is fair to judge someone or to potentially not date someone due to them having cheated before. People mature and they learn, and I feel that someone who is wiling to own up to their past failings is at least trustworthy enough for the chance to prove themselves.

Running on almost 3 years with my senior year sweetheart, never came close to cheating or betraying her, the past does not dictate the future.
 

game-lover

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Dec 1, 2010
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rosac said:
I love how clear cut people are. They seem to ignore that emotion thing that fucks around with logic. Find someone you love, go out with them for a while and then find out that they've cheated in the past. I very much doubt you'll mind.
You assume emotion isn't a part of this?? Ha!

I can't speak for everyone else but my answer came from my emotions. From the fact that the very thought of infidelity angers me so much that sometimes I feel near angry tears. That I avoid songs about cheating because they address it in a positive manner and shit.

The same can be said about those mentioning everyone makes mistakes and stuff. That sounds logical, right? As opposed to those of us who put a former unfaithful person in a category that defines them in our eyes?

Sounds emotional to me. It's just the one that has nothing to do with love.
 

Yopaz

Sarcastic overlord
Jun 3, 2009
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I doubt it. There might be reasons for it and all that, but it sort of reeks of dishonesty and betrayal of trust. If you're in a bad relationship I can understand it, but if you decide to cheat rather than be honest and end it then I'm not sure I would trust that person. I am paranoid though so that is more of a personal issue than anything else. Just because you have cheated in the past it doesn't mean you'll do so again, it would also depend on how I found out I guess. If I had been told in confidence after seeing the person for a short while then that would indicate enough honesty not to try to hide the past. This isn't really a black and white matter so it's impossible to give a straight answer I guess.
 

spartan231490

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Jan 14, 2010
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Depends. How long ago did they cheat, why did they cheat, ect. I would definitely be their friend or best friend.
 

RubyT

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Sep 3, 2009
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Once you exclude everybody who cheated, the people they cheated with and those that have done it with partners who were in monogamous relationship at the time, you'll find yourself with an extremely limited dating pool.

From my experience, at least 2/3 of all relationships end with a third party being involved.
 

cswurt

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Oct 26, 2011
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Sure, if she's hot and I get to pork her a few times before either of us gets tired of the other.

I'm just as likely to cheat on her, too.
 

Something Amyss

Aswyng and Amyss
Dec 3, 2008
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I wouldn't knowingly date a cheater. My ex cheated on me and while I've forgiven her, I won't get back together with her. And I don't know if I could trust someone who was cheating on their ex.

Someone who was the other woman/man? Well, depends. Were they knowingly so? It's one thing to sleep with someone you think is single and find out the hard way.It's another thing to knowingly screw someone else's SO.
 

Jodan

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Mar 18, 2009
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Personally i would feel bad if my girlfriend didnt take advantage of a good offer just be cause she was dating me.
holing herself back from enjoying herself and getting to know someone just because she committed to me is self denial to me and almost self abuse.
we sould just be happy that the other was having a good time while the other was indisposed with lifes crap like work and the such. its a little more comlecated than that but thats the gist.
 

Phasmal

Sailor Jupiter Woman
Jun 10, 2011
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disgruntledgamer said:
I started this............. Cough.........ok if you say so.

And there is a big difference between saying no probably not and saying "No" in an almost snooty, superior stuck up matter, at least that's how you're rubbing off on me. Like I said I don't cheat, mainly because I've seen the repercussions of cheating like HPVs that cause cervical cancer which condoms don't block, but I'm not going to sit there and be judgmental of someone who might of made a mistake over half a decade ago. Believe it or not people do change, sometimes for better, sometimes for worse.
I think you may be imaginging things.
I do not feel superior to excheaters, I feel nothing about them.
Just like I don't feel badly about people who don't play games, but the fact that they don't makes me less likely to date them.

The only one coming off as superior is you, acting as if having some dealbreakers is a bad thing.
I'm flattered you think I'm so great that not dating excheaters is somehow doing them a disservice.
I'm sure me and excheaters would both agree we're fine as we are.

EDIT: In short, I am not saying no in superior way, a stuck up way, or any other sort of `way`.
We could probably ***** back and forth forever, but I'm kinda done with this conversation because it's going in circles.
 

3quency

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Jun 12, 2009
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I did for a few months. It wasn't the former cheating that led to the break up though.
 

Woodsey

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Aug 9, 2009
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Zhukov said:
Yup.

If I were to shun every person who had ever done something stupid or worthy of regret then I would be a very lonely fellow.
Uh huh. I think the Moral Police that tend to vehemently patrol every relationship thread - not to mention the types who demand gamer girlfriends and such - should probably give this some thought.
 

disgruntledgamer

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Mar 6, 2012
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Phasmal said:
I think you may be imaginging things.
I do not feel superior to excheaters, I feel nothing about them.
Just like I don't feel badly about people who don't play games, but the fact that they don't makes me less likely to date them.

The only one coming off as superior is you, acting as if having some dealbreakers is a bad thing.
I'm flattered you think I'm so great that not dating excheaters is somehow doing them a disservice.
I'm sure me and excheaters would both agree we're fine as we are.
I think I'm seeing things pretty clearly, you say one thing but your manner and tone say another. How can I think deal breakers are a bad thing I made an entire thread about it remember, and most of those things in my list weren't jokes FYI. You know for someone who complains that I'm picking on them you certainly don't hesitate to hit the reply button. Listen hun I know you're a bit jealous that I'm prettier than you (I'm prettier than most girls) and are upset my mind comes with my body, but that's just the way it is, no sense getting upset about it.