You are proclaimed "Evil Overlord of Earth", what do you do first?

[Russian_Assassin]

Assemble a group of genetically perfect people (color of skin unrelated) that share the same ideologies as me, ensuring that the next generation of people will be perfect ideologically and physically (so that to be sure that the new order I create will remain unchanged in the future).

Wipe out every single human being on the planet. Create a new society, that is governed by intelligence and knowledge instead of wealth. Never use a monetary system again. Have no record of the life before, so that to ensure that the new generation of people will never find out the negative aspects of that world.

Advance technology making everything efficient and eco-friendly, wiping out every decease known to man, basically making mankind transcend the state it is in now (only because they have convinced themselves that there is a thing called "human nature", while obviously this so called nature is inherited from one generation to the next, sometimes subconsciously through the influence of the society one is raised in), becoming gods at long last.

In the end, if the original team of people I assembled is still alive, we terminate ourselves to cut the last connection to the old world.

 

[SFMB]

Terminate half of the population of the world right away, but not randomly. Where birth rates are high, more incineration. But every one is still a possible corpse-to-be, except for my, of course. You'll thank me later.

 

[IndianaJonny]

One random, seemingly normal, day, You are proclaimed "Evil Overlord of Earth". You have the entire world under your control, out of the blue, and somehow accomplished what Dr. victor von doom only dreams of. what do you do first?

Check out the original list [http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html] amigo.

Including gems like:

-My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.

-My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

-I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.

-After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.

-I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.

 

[Richard Eis]

I would have serious words with my spin doctor. You never "admit" to being an evil overlord.

 

[DSK-]

Sort out my Internet connection. Maybe torture a few Managing Directors of Virgin Media while I'm at it.

 

[Gabanuka]

I would have all forms of media broadcast Surfin' Bird every half hour without fail.

Mwhahahahahahahah!!!!!!

You monster!

First giant cream pie fight, then concubines. Several concubines.

 

[Scarim Coral]

First thing- Bomb FOX news station and other news related media like the Daily Mirror.

Second thing- Build a new home/ fortress with some sexy women by my side (depend how shallow/ lonely I will get).

Third thing- Gather the most intelligent people for a meeting about dealing with the world crisis.

 

[r0binh00d]

I would renounce the throne, start a rebellion against 'the system' and conquer the world, country by country. stick it to the man, etc etc.

seriously though, I'd cut off scotland from the UK (using very very big saws) then tow it down to the equator, somewhere in the mid-atlantic. then I'd announce independance and install myself as clan-chief, and start a life of piracy, towing scotland from country to country, staging raids in the night and making off with their women and valuables.

also, while doing this, i'd tell the rest of the world that it was finally free from my tyranny, tell england it was finally free of the scots coming over there and taking their jobs, and ask the irish and welsh if they wanted to come too, nodding respectfully to the french on the way by.

edit: think of the looks on their faces! LOL

it's a poirate's loife for me, yarrrr.

oh also, i'd use tactical nukes on the moon to make it resemble my face. hell yeah.

 

[mrmooninnod]

get rid of EA, congress, wall street, the beiber kid, and everyone i don't like and throw them towards a black hole then set up a harem

 

[Mrmac23]

Oh, so i can do whatever i like now? Well, first things first we've got too many people on this planet at the moment.

Prepare the natural selection squads.

 

[Soods]

Disband 90% of military (world peace already achieved when one guy controls everything), start funneling tax money to saving Earth. Once that is done it's time to cure all diseases and then start building my space fleet. Why settle for one planet, when the universe is there for taking.

 

[Drejer43]

Well except the standard selfish things, I would make far sighted investments everywhere to remove poverty.

 

[Gunner 51]

Firstly, copy this fellow's idea.

Spoiler

Build a massive underground lair which runs on geothermal energy. Then I will have several mistresses, and then get to work on creating those adorable little minions he has.

Wreak havoc upon the world, retire and then let Gnarl take over. Image below for those interested.

Spoiler

 

[lRookiel]

everyone must be a veggie from here on! the killing stops! cows and pigs will be your new sub-overlords, and if you want milk and eggs you have to be said chicken or cow's ***** for 12 hours.

then just recruit all the hottest girls in the world and totally get laid

edit: oh right i forgot, before i initiate my "no killing" law, i WILL need to kill 99% of the human population of earth.... what? we need more elbow room around here! we'll have a lottery to decide who gets to live

OH! another thing! just for giggles, i'll "retire" after a year of dictarorship and have a sock puppet called squffles take over my possition, i'd hide under my platform and control squffles as he rules over the people, there'll be statues and everything, s'gonna be awesome

I got a few laughs from that one.

I can imagine it now...

"Daisy can I have a pint of milk?"

"WHAT? ***** you can't have shit until you get me a plate of the finest grass!"

"of course Daisy, right away Daisy!"

 

[IamQ]

Build a giant underwater lair. Then build a giant base on top on a mountain, and lastly, I want myself a flying castle.

Hey, if I can be the evil overlord of earth, why can't I also cruise around the world in style?

 

[kickassfrog]

Clone and supersoldierise myself, then everything on pages 1-20 of my plan for when I rule the earth.
Also, I wouldn't be very evil. Apart from the use of violent criminals as expendable resources and such.

 

[Use_Imagination_here]

Complete. global. saturation.

After that, a giant golden middle finger pointing at the sky.

 

[Vault101]

I would fix the world probelms.....

I cant be evil, it is not in my nature

 

[albinoterrorist]

Make the 25th of December a global holiday.

Believe me, the unwashed masses will come to thank me for "Montenegran Pride Day".