I don't have anything funny, I'm not in a funny mood.
but
pre plan: cry like a *****
1 set up a system to capture all the clean water from taps in containers I can close off. before the tap system fails.
2 Get Harddrives and collect all the digital information I can before the power and internet fail.
3 syphon off all the gas out of petrol stations I can reach before the power goes
4 find a good sized van I can move at least an aggregate with.
5 find: an aggregate, all the usefull medical supplies I can find, all manner of tools powered and nonpowered, maps of my local area, Practical clothing for every concievable situation or task. Obviously canned food and stuff but with only animals convenient stores in my city will be the easiest and safest to find and raid for weeks, camping gear.
6 get some weapons (not to easy where I live)
7 find books on the following subjects: aggriculture and growing plants, herbalism and recognizing edible species, hunting and butchering, building and maintaining all manner of machines and verhicles, medical books on treating wounds and disease, chemistry.
8 building up a safe, clean and dry stash to store as much text books I can find. Science, history, art etc.
9 Get a couple of powerfull and sturdy laptops and all the Software on CD I can find. Including dust and dirt free containers.
10 set up a training routine for fitness and weapon use and start learning all the basic survival skills.
Now we consider moving out, into the country and see whats out there to find. Human culture aint going down on my watch.