You can wipe one MOVIE of the face of the planet...

Jacob Haggarty

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Sep 1, 2010
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There is only one. One film that if erased from history could enliven the world by a staggering degree. I talk of course, of the utterly pointless, gnomeo and juliet.

Just the NAME of it is enough to make me want to cry! The film itself just looks like pure guff as it is, WITHOUT it being a... (YOU GET TO CHOOSE HOW THIS ENDS!)

A) heartless butchering of a classic love story.
B) a shameless money spinner, intended to wipe clean the pockets of any mother with a child between 5 and 12 without giving anyone ANYTHING, besides a feeling of distilled regret.
C) a hopeless display of cheap gags, and the lowest of low slap-stick humor. Seriously, you can tell this is a comedy aimed at children, simply by the fact that it isnt funny. Not even the trailer could make it look funny, and that just piss poor.

I cannot think of a film which makes me more angry than this waste of space.

Want to know the worst part? ITS GOT AN INCREDIBLE LINE UP OF VOICE ACTORS! Emily Blunt, Jason Strathom (or however you spell it), Matt Lucas... oh, and only the bloody prince of darkness himself, ozzy osbourne. They could all be doing something worthwhile, or meaningfull, or at the very least smacking their heads against walls, because god knows that would be a better use of their time...

/rant
 

BlueSinbad

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Brainpalm said:
BlueSinbad said:
Human Centipede...
Agreed. Oh god please make it happen.

Although just to screw with the earth I would pick The Matrix. Enjoy.
They're making two more Human Centipede movies :(

and to be honest, I don't think that would be too bad, the Matrix is fine, but I'm sure humanity wouldn't lose itself without it.
 

Jacob Haggarty

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Mr.Numbers said:
I'm gonna say Godfather 3?

Though that "The Sims" movie they're making looks godawful...
oh sweet god, they're making a SIMS MOVIE!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD!? What could that POSSIBLY be about anyway? Eating, shagging and dieing. Wow, A-list material.
 

MrAkuma201

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Oct 28, 2009
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sex and the city 1 and 2. If I'm force too see one more sex and the city movie I will die...Well hell doesn't seem so now.
 

aenimau5

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Dec 19, 2010
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"the expendables" i went to see that instead of "Scott pilgrim vs the world" i still haven't forgiven myself.
 

Arrogancy

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Inglorious Bastards. I honestly felt like my senses were raped after watching that movie. It was concentrated horrible that I hope never to experience again.
 

Chrono180

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BlueSinbad said:
They're making two more Human Centipede movies :(
Seriously? Just reading a summary of the first one made me throw up. Knowing they are going to make sequels....It makes me want to blow my brains out just to escape a world that can come up with such a disgusting premise.

Anyway, I haven't read all 7 pages of this thread but I would like to nominate a little known childrens movie called "Tall Tale". The basic premise, as far as I can recall, is that a wealthy developer wants to buy up all the land in a town for some reason and a young boy joins up with Pecos Bill, Paul Bunyun, and John Henry to stop him for some reason I can't remember-actually, scratch that i came up with a better choice

The Day the Earth Stood Still. That is, the 2008 version. I never saw it, but the ending pissed me off so much when I heard that
the destruction of all technology was considered a "happy" ending. This completely ignores the fact that our ENTIRE infrastructure is dependent on technology, and taking it away would result in the starvation of the human race. Not only that, but as someone who REQUIRES TECHNOLOGY TO STAY ALIVE, it came as a massive slap in the face as the people who produced it were essentially saying "its okay to kill the disabled because they exploit nature".
I seriously hope the crew behind that film never gets another film green-lighted because making a multimillion dollar motion picture to give a preachy and ill-thought out lecture of how "technology is bad" is completely hypocritical.
 

lacktheknack

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Chrono180 said:
BlueSinbad said:
They're making two more Human Centipede movies :(
Seriously? Just reading a summary of the first one made me throw up. Knowing they are going to make sequels....It makes me want to blow my brains out just to escape a world that can come up with such a disgusting premise.
"The Human Millipede" (twelve people) is next, if I remember right.

I might be wrong, I was busy cutting my wrists in utter despair while reading that.
 

Arrogancy

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elcamino41383 said:
Cloverfield and Inglorious Basterds are my top picks. By the time anything happened in either of the movies, I no longer gave a shit, I just wanted it to end.
Thank you! I hated Inglorious Basterds too. It was, without a doubt the worst movie I have ever seen. EVER.
 

loc978

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Give me a board with a list of snuff films involving children. I'll point at one of them at random. That movie.
 

Yankeedoodles

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Gabanuka said:
(yes I know this is a stupid ripoff of http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/9.265755-You-can-wipe-one-game-off-from-the-face-of-the-planet but bare with me please)

Right, same scenario as the aforementioned thred only this time with films.

I would probably pick Terminator Salvation, the piece of shit ruined one of my favorate series of all time.
Bare with you? But I don't even know you!

Anyway, I think I'd probably go with the all of the sequels to Land Before Time. The first movie was a sad moving tale about family, friendship, perseverance and acceptance. And then they went and made 12 (12!!!!) sequels. I only saw 2 and 3 but they were pretty bad and nothing more than boring derivatives of the first.
 

Elexia

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I am a huge fan of Will Eisner's 'The Spirit' comicbook series, but Frank Miller's 'The Spirit' "loose interpretation" was painful, even for a fan.
 

captaincabbage

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SomeLameStuff said:
Probably The Last Airbender. I want to KILL M. Night for that movie.

Let's see how long it takes someone to say Twilight.
Nothing else can compare to how blatantly shit-tastic The Last Airbenderp was. I'd gladly watch Twilight a hundred times before I watched TLA again.

OT: YEah, TLA. Fucking abhorrent film. M. Night Shayamalamadingdong should be shot for turning possibly one of the best animated series ever to come out of the U.S into easily the worst film to come from the States.