You must change a paradise into a hell, by changing one thing...

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Isalan

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Jun 9, 2008
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So its Paradise huh? Well, now its still Paradise but every single person except you is deeply mired in the most bitter, profane, despicable Console War in the history of Mankind. No physical violence but endless snarky, bitter, remorseless, snidey bickering.

Your welcome.
 

Barbas

ExQQxv1D1ns
Oct 28, 2013
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Every time you try to pick something up, it is slapped out of your hand by a passer-by.
 

cojo965

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Jul 28, 2012
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Alssadar said:
icemasteryeti said:
It depends on how much you enjoy having sex with butter.
SQUAD BROKEN

OT: Change one thing?
Either everyone has to dress like a clown, or the soundtrack in every game/movie/theater/advertisement/shopping center is replaced with the alphabet song. Alarm clock: ABC's. Driving to work? ABC's. Massive explosion? ABC's. Sex scene? ABC's. Climatic battle? ABC's.
It'd get so annoying, so fast, as you'd hear it everywhere.
That was so sickeningly funny.

OT: Just add Godzilla, that is literally all you need to do. Yes, I am talking about an actual Godzilla.
 

Akytalusia

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Nov 11, 2010
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i wouldn't do anything. why would i? this mad god hasn't provided any incentive or motivation. it's just a challenge, asking me to do something i'd rather not. is it supposed to attack my pride or something to refuse? cause i'm not feelin' it. or maybe i'm supposed to have this inherent desire to cause grievance unto others? cause i don't feel that either. really not sure what angle this is supposed to be approaching me from.

challenge refused.
 

Storm Dragon

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Nov 29, 2011
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You wish to peer into the twisted depths of my imagination? Very well, then.

*cracks knuckles*

I know you said we were limited to one change, but I couldn't help but think of a few possibilities. Just consider them to be a set of mutually exclusive options.

-Whenever someone is alone, there is a random chance that a clown in tattered clothes, faded makeup, and yellowed teeth will appear behind him/her. The clown will then follow the person, its breathing gradually growing louder, until the person turns around and sees it. Then the clown utters something with a raspy voice in a language that the person doesn't understand before transforming into a swarm of large moths that scatter in all directions. Afterwards, the person finds themselves physically unable to communicate the experience to anyone else.

-Shortly after a person falls asleep, a group of tentacles grow out of the ground and gently wrap around his/her body. It doesn't matter where or on what surface he/she sleeps, the tentacles will appear. They do not harm the person in any way; they don't strangle people, they don't block breathing, and their grasp isn't strong enough to restrict even a baby's movements. They simply writhe across a person's body until he/she wakes up and breaks away from their embrace, at which point they emit an unearthly shriek and wither into dust.

-Nobody is able to detect anyone else's presence except for that "feeling of being watched". It's not that they're invisible or anything, but nearly all sensory information regarding other human beings simply doesn't register to anyone. Each and every person thinks that they're completely alone, but can't help but feel watched.

-The British are the chefs, the Swiss are the lovers, the French are the mechanics, the Italians make everything run on time, and the Germans are the police.

-At random intervals, but never less than one or more than six hours apart, people hear a voice whisper something in their ear. The messages are always short, cryptic phrases like "We are always watching", "You cannot escape us", or "Soon, very soon", and sometimes it's just unintelligible gibberish. When the voice is heard is unique to each person, i.e. not everybody is hearing the voice at the same time.

-Everyone is, at all times, acutely aware of every single microorganism living on their skin.

-There are numerous statues everywhere, there is no place anyone can go where there isn't at least one statue within visual range. Whenever someone looks away from a statue, it is in a different pose when they look back, a la the Weeping Angels from Doctor Who, except they don't attack anyone. The more times a person looks at a particular statue, the more disturbing its poses become; such as inflicting bodily harm upon itself, or gnawing the flesh off of a human arm. Eventually the statue will reach the point where, when the person looks back at it, it's gone. When they turn around, they find the statue there, staring at them. The statue resets the cycle at this point.

I may add more later if I come up with any other ideas.
 

J Tyran

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Dec 15, 2011
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I would introduce a religion that convinces the believers that they have a divine right to occupy the paradise, that makes them want to forcibly convert anyone that doesn't believe and that apostasy is punishable by death.

That should mess things up alright.
 

RJ 17

The Sound of Silence
Nov 27, 2011
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I'd simply implement ObamaCare. Hey-ohhhhhhhh! :p

But seriously, I'd make it so that every sound except for human voices sounds like something rubbing against something that's covered in plasti-wrap.


Footsteps, bird songs, doors closing, hands clapping...EVERYTHING other than spoken words sound like this. >:D
 

AT God

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Dec 24, 2008
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Loop "Tip-Toe through the Tulips" for eternity. I used to love that song because of how stupid it was so I looped it one night and had awful nightmares, everytime I hear it now I feel like Alex from A Clockwork Orange.


Edit: Also, a shit load of bees.
http://youtu.be/PYtXuBN1Hvc
 

Necron_warrior

OPPORTUNISTIC ANARCHIST
Mar 30, 2011
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Pfft easy.

TASTEBUDS IN EVERONE'S ASSHOLES.

For added evilness, you taste through someone else's tastebuds too.

Bwahahahahahah.
 

kasperbbs

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Dec 27, 2009
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Every type of service has a massive crowd of people waiting in line (shops, toilets, any kind of entertainment, restaurants, etc) and only the first ten get to enter, then the line resets until the next day.
 

Ieyke

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Jul 24, 2008
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Isolate every person in a separate sound nullifying room that is very very dimly lit by randomly pulsing red lights, and the room administers a mild electric shock every time the person falls asleep.
 

Groxnax

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Apr 16, 2009
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Every toilet, except one, is broken and the only way you can find it is to follow a very confusing map or a set of riddles.

It also smells really bad.
 

Syzygy23

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Sep 20, 2010
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Change one thing and turn the paradise into hell eh?

Alright, how 'bout this: Everyone gets everything they want when they want it. As soon as they wish it it just appears or happens.

They will never have to work for anything ever again.

EVER.

AGAIN.

Nothing will ever take any effort.

FOREVER.
 

chiggerwood

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May 10, 2009
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The Dubya said:
chiggerwood said:
Here's the scenario: You are approached by a mad god who takes you to a human paradise where endless pleasures and delights abound. He then turns to you and issues a challenge for you to turn this paradise into a hellish place by changing one thing. BUT! it cannot cause bodily harm to anyone inside the paradise. What would you change?
Well first I would ask the question "Why would I ever want to do that...???"

Kinda seems like a dick thing to do, ya know. What, am I a wasted fratboy taking on dumb dares in this scenario? Is this like a Job thing where we made a bet that I could fuck with this paradise as much as possible and still have the inhabitants of the paradise love me? I have so many questions, Mad God dude!
You're thinking waaaaaaaayyyy too much on this. It's just a fun little thought exercise to see what (a comedic) hell is for you.
 

chiggerwood

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May 10, 2009
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Groxnax said:
Every toilet, except one, is broken and the only way you can find it is to follow a very confusing map or a set of riddles.

It also smells really bad.
At least it isn't "THE WORST TOILET IN SCOTLAND". Eventually, however, you'd probably be able to find it pretty easily due to the uh... trail.
 

Level 7 Dragon

Typo Kign
Mar 29, 2011
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Remove friction.

So people would not be able to stop moving, ever. Even when they bump in to each other, they would still continue moving and gain speed. It would drive everybody insane after a while.
 

Level 7 Dragon

Typo Kign
Mar 29, 2011
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BiscuitTrouser said:
Introduce beurocracy, every fun activity requires a fun form filed in triplicate with administration stamps from the ministry of personal and emotional positivity. Only open sunday. The queueing area has no seats, no heating (or TOO MUCH heating) and one of the lights buzzes and flickers extremely rapidly. It's also a smoking area and babies are mandetory. Average wait time 5 hours.
When you actually get there, the person with the stamp would be some old lady that keeps smoking, even though the room has no windows of ventilaton, who keeps forgetting and making typos. Add to that, she would have the worst possible accent and keeps telling you stories from her youth, instead of working. That would add another 2 hours of wait and a lot of patience wasted.