Your Favourite Zero Punctuation Quotes!

[Katratzi]

"At the time of writing the 360 in my house is bricked because we had the shear gaul to try and play games on it. It seemed to recover for a while after some fiddleing, but after that though we were afraid to use it in case it returned to the land of the dead. For a few days it was like Schrodinger's console in a quantum state of bricked and unbricked, until we finially tried playing somethig again and the waveform collapsed.!"

 

[Crystal Cuckoo]

"... But pick one of the ninety billion Zelda games there have been so far and odds are good you'll always be the same bloody guy saving the same bloody girl with the same bloody boomerang"

"By the way, it's alright, you can swear on the internet, your mum probably isn't going to read it. I know, because she's too busy beng fucked. By ME."

Those are my personal favourites xD

 

[keRt]

"There's the old Vietnam veteran, the tattooed biker fellow, the hot college girl who probably spends every single night sleeping her ass to the wall."

 

[Jack and Calumon]

"Also, while we're on the subject, Why can't I marry my dog?"
"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo."
"Sand Paper Condom."
"Boingo Boingo Whoopsey knickers."

 

[Helnurath]

Anybody who's watched at least one Episode of ZP would realise that Yahtzee can come up with some pretty funny sayings e.g., "Nazi bullet bum rape". etc So what's your favourite ZP quotes/sayings.

One that i laughed about for awile was in the Spore review, about growing extra body parts every time you "get your mack on".

Priceless.

EDIT: Don't forget Yahtzee's part in Game Damage e.g. "Bullocks in a hat".

"It shoots shurikens and lightning, it can only be more awesome if it had tits and was fire"

"It can only be described as a Doom Fortess"

"I was expecting Hitler to come out riding a giant robotic spider"

"Garith Gobblecock"

 

[Jaebird]

"...And that my arse will sprout wings and fly me into space!"

I use that one all the time because two of my friends can't tell when I'm being sarcastic.

"It just goes to show, never stick your dick in a pudding. It might still be good pudding and you can spend all afternoon explaining that, but no one's going to eat it because you stuck your dick in it!!"

Best. Metaphor. Evar!

 

[Cheesus333]

God knows what would happen if you spread Branston pickle ONTO No More Heroes, possibly the universe would end. AND IT WOULD BE AWESOME.

But it's still Branston pickle and if you let it take you in you'll be swimming in it 'till your eyes Fallout - FALLOUT 3 THAT IS!

 

[Fronken]

"Life was the most exciting back when grass huts were still a bit hoity-toity...", i actually had to review the video a couple of times cause i couldnt hear the rest of the video over my own laughing xD

 

[johnman]

"And whistled for a baboon!"

We use that phrase now every time a game crashes
"Dam Cod just whistled!"

 

[WinkyTheGreat]

"It's like walking down a road stopping every five steps to hit yourself in the eye with a hammer. And the road is a million miles long... and the hammer is made of wank."

 

[Batarang]

"Criticizing the Wii for being gimmicky at this point feels like criticizing a midget for being short"

Or something along those lines.

 

[The Shade of Time]

"Completely useless but FUCKING FUNNY"
"and Clive Budenski...(or however you spell it) isnt an increadably sexy man HO HE HO HE HO HE HAW"

 

[Katratzi]

In the bad ending, you're some kind of hybrid of Hitler and Skeletor, who's very piss is pure liquid malevolence.

 

[Psyco Slim]

"Never stick your dick in a pudding. It might still be good pudding and you can spend all day explaining that but that doesn't change the fact that you STUCK YOUR DICK IN IT!!!!!"

 

[PureChaos]

'if you like you games a little more complex you're in for a kick in the ball. it may be a gentler kick in the balls than most, a very pretty, well executed kick in the balls with the bst of intention but at the end of the day you're still walking funny'.

'or as i like to call it, Air Strikes 2: Hurray For Arstrikes'

'STONKING GREAT TITS'

'he drov us straight into a rock while the enemy taker leisurely blew us to Narnia'

'the platoon stepped out of the helicopter, ran straight of the edge of the helipad and died. not very good for gameplay but fucking funny'

 

[dijital101]

Hooting Dickholes,
Ron "fuck-mothering" Pearlman,
and "I was startled when a opossum jumped into my window but it doesn't make it the marsupial answer to Stanley Kubrick."

 

[The_General]

"I and every other reviewer on the planet is going to saw it's BOLLOCKS off!"
"Rape you in the nostrils"

 

[MaxRaine]

"But every now and then the planets will align and I'll be affected by weird cosmic rays and suddenly all I want to do is play a nice fantasy RPG. Not a JRPG, GOD no, it's only space radiation, not the infinite power of Christ!"

and

"if
{
nothing();
}
else
{
remember(this);
}"

 

[Ace of Spades]

"For people who actually know which end of a gun makes the loud noise, it's essentially a magic 'Hey look over there' button that keeps the enemy holding nice and still while you carefully pick off their testicles."
I laugh so hard at that every time.

 

[ampa451]

said yahtzee his voice thick like sarcastic marmites