Your thoughts on, "Men and Women can't be just friends?"

Parasondox

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*sips on my cup of tea* This is where I became a witty bastard but I would rather not be an over the top and cynical ****.

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus and Uranus is full of shit. No really, what do you think is up there? With the talk of, "oh my gaaaaaaaaaawd i've just been friendzoned", nonsense that I keep seeing over and over again on the net, do many in the real world still believe that men and women can't be friends? Just friends?

Most of my friends are female and I get on great with them. We have awkward convos that make us laugh, talks that have us understand one another and insane moments that you have with a best friend that has us both getting strange looks from those around us. Regardless of gender.

So, is the saying, "Men and Women can't be just friends", dead? Or is there something there but just isn't discovered yet.

Oh, and I know a few of you may twist it to say, "well if the guy or girl is gay then the friendship can be less awkward blah blah. I just hope you understand what I mean with the main topic.

And you can be friends with your sibling of the opposite sex. Not as if you will create some sexual tension with your brother or sister... I opened up a portal, didn't I?
 

Fappy

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Jan 4, 2010
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I have plenty of female friends that are no different from my guy friends. Anyone who can't just be friends with someone of the opposite gender is either a nymphomaniac or an asshole in my experience.
 

TakerFoxx

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Jan 27, 2011
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It depends on what kind of person you are. Speaking for myself, I have zero interest in sex and romance, so I have no problem being just friends with women without it getting weird. To other guys such things are more important, so they may have more difficulty.
 

Johnny Impact

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I am friends with my brother and two sisters. Don't see the sisters much as they live several hours away, but we hang out and make Spaceballs references to each other when we can.

There's no reason people can't be friends across gender lines. The only lines are the ones we put there. Personally, I have no female friends, but that's because I only have like four or five friends total (not including family). I'm *nervous cough* not very social.
 

Queen Michael

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All my friends are female, except for the one trans man. So yeah, works fine for me.
 

Sleepy Sol

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Uh...it's very easily possible to be friends with someone even if they aren't of the same gender.

I guess there's people out there who don't think so, but they're not exactly worth giving attention to.
 

Andy Shandy

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Jun 7, 2010
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I don't know if it's partly because I grew up with a big sister (not the Bioshock kind, by god that would would be terrifying) but I've always found it fairly easy to be friends with women. Much easier than a romantic relationship anyway. xD

Fappy said:
I have plenty of female friends that are no different from my guy friends. Anyone who can't just be friends with someone of the opposite gender is either a nymphomaniac or an asshole in my experience.
What if they're a nymphomanic and an asshole, Fappy? What then?!
 

Fappy

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Andy Shandy said:
I don't know if it's partly because I grew up with a big sister (not the Bioshock kind, by god that would would be terrifying) but I've always found it fairly easy to be friends with women. Much easier than a romantic relationship anyway. xD

Fappy said:
I have plenty of female friends that are no different from my guy friends. Anyone who can't just be friends with someone of the opposite gender is either a nymphomaniac or an asshole in my experience.
What if they're a nymphomanic and an asshole, Fappy? What then?!
Then you'd be one lonely nympho :(
 

Andy Shandy

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Fappy said:
Andy Shandy said:
I don't know if it's partly because I grew up with a big sister (not the Bioshock kind, by god that would would be terrifying) but I've always found it fairly easy to be friends with women. Much easier than a romantic relationship anyway. xD

Fappy said:
I have plenty of female friends that are no different from my guy friends. Anyone who can't just be friends with someone of the opposite gender is either a nymphomaniac or an asshole in my experience.
What if they're a nymphomanic and an asshole, Fappy? What then?!
Then you'd be one lonely nympho :(
"The Lonely Nymphomaniac" does sound like a great title for a novel though.
 

DefunctTheory

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Mar 30, 2010
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This is an old stereotype, that continues to be propagated, mostly by people who personally can't be friends with the opposite gender because of their own personal problems with sexuality (Usually on the 'I wanna fuck everything' side).

A good example of this is Steve Harvey, a man who's gone through three wives and has admitted to cheating, frequently. He's gone on recorded multiple times saying men and women can't be friends, because the man always is just waiting for the right opportunity to sleep with the woman. Which is classic projection if I've ever heard it.
 

BloatedGuppy

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I remember that "Men and Women can't be friends" was a character building line in "When Harry Met Sally" meant to illustrate what an immature jackass Harry was at that point in his life. And that movie came out in 1989!

So, yeah. Obviously they can be friends.
 

DugMachine

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Funny that I'm reading this. Just this past weekend I slept with one of my long time friends and have been asking myself the same thing. She and I just wanted something casual but after the act I can't really shake the feeling of having deeper feelings even though I've never felt them before our encounter. Sex is fucking weird.

Aside from her I have quite a few female friends and I'd be lying if I didn't find some of them sexually attractive. I just end up telling myself to let go of the thought because while we are friends there's no way we would be compatible in that way.
 

Ryotknife

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They can, but in my personal experience its incredibly rare, to the point where ive never seen it happen without one of them being gay or being in a relationship (or there is a massive difference in looks)
 

Thaluikhain

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Um...yes?

O, firstly assuming that all men are currently wanting to have sex with women all the time, and that all of the women they might be friends of are people thy would otherwise find sexually desirable, there's no reason why a man can't accept that someone doesn't want to have sex with them.
 

Creator002

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My dad has had more female friends than male in my lifetime as far as I know. When I was going to church I had a lot of female "friends."[footnote]Loose term since pretty much everyone was a friend in that kind of social setting.[/footnote]
At school, I got on with most people, but it was often "would this girl be interested?". Now, as an adult, I don't find myself looking at people as potential sex partners all the time, so that doesn't often come into it when talking to someone unless it came into my head at initially. Even then, I'm quite happy being single, so it's often a "she's attractive" rather than "would she be interested?".
 

carnex

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Yes they can, but in my experience with lasting friendship there was at some point, at significant length, sexual attraction involved. Sometimes it cooled down, more often it just ended up filed away in some dark corner of the mind.

I know of very few examples to this rule(two to be exact) but even with that, male-female friendships are as normal and common as you can see them around the world.
 

Dimitriov

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Fappy said:
I have plenty of female friends that are no different from my guy friends. Anyone who can't just be friends with someone of the opposite gender is either a nymphomaniac or an asshole in my experience.
Well, yes, obviously (or at least hopefully it is obvious) they can be.

But I think there is sometimes an over willingness (certainly on these forums) to totally discount the very real problems that may legitimately arise in male/female friendships. I can only speak as a heterosexual male, and yes I do have female friends, but there are certainly differences.

Unlike my male friends I have on occasion had to deal with the fact that I have felt strong sexual attraction to them. They're women whom, by definition, I like and whose company I enjoy. It's not terribly weird, nor does it require nymphomania.

That doesn't mean we can't be friends, and I've certainly never acted on that attraction as I have had no interest in forming a romantic partnership in these situations. But it certainly can provide a layer of complexity to a friendship that wouldn't exist otherwise. And, yes, all human interactions and relationships can be weird and messy. But, for the majority of the population who are heterosexual, I think there often is a built-in layer of added complexity to friendships between men and women.
 

Imperioratorex Caprae

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May 15, 2010
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I get along better with females as friends than males but then my definition of "friend" doesn't include a gender-check, just a personality check. Do I trust this person? Then they're most likely friends. Gender stopped mattering once I got out of elementary school (and even then I didn't really care).