Your weapon in the zombie apocalypse. (with a twist)

mettle_edge

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Aug 7, 2010
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I have a foosball table. I suppose I could take out the rods and the flatten and sharpen them to make some crappy swords.

I also have a half-built van der graaff generator, in which I could take the surgical tubing from it and make a slingshot, and for ammo I have.... one 5 pound weight, an NES, a bottle of Mountain Dew, and a bit of PVC pipe.

....eh, I think I can manage.
 

TheBaron87

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Jul 12, 2010
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Plenty of useless stuff to my left. Table, box of kleenex, a PS3, Wii, SNES, TV, about 500-ish games from NES upward, some action figures, lots of books and magazines, boxes, a clock, standing fan, big bottle of hydrogen peroxide (I'll bleach them to death!), spare change, etc.

More useful items include: a stepladder, a standing lamp (my ceiling fan is busted, thus the fan+lamp), and if anything from 6 o'clock to 12 o'clock counts as my left, then there's a fantasy sword behind me and slightly to the left. Display only though, even if I sharpened it the blade would probably just break or detach from the hilt :(
 

trech125

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Mar 30, 2010
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a phone:i could call the police or something
a packet of felt tips:i could stab them with them
and a giant lizard beany baby:i have no clue
i am also skrewed...
 

Hybridwolf

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Aug 14, 2009
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To my left...thin air. Until you reach my desk. Frankly, I'd rather go bare knuckles, as there is nothing resembling a weapon to stop a zombie on that desk, short of the desk. I guess a 1.5kg dumbell may work....sorta.
 

warmonkey

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Dec 2, 2009
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the December King said:
I don't know what's more disturbing... the number of people that have legitimate weapons near their computers, or the number of people that have legitimate weapons to the LEFT of their computers...

...

.38 spl revolver, 45 acp compact, short baseball bat, buck knife, k-bar knife, kershaw pocket knife

I wonder if an oddly high number of people keep weapons to the left, but not right, side of their computer
 

mrF00bar

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Mar 17, 2009
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I suppose I could through my PC, 3 games and my English course work at the zombies...

I'm screwed! I don't like this game! xD
 

Cowabungaa

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Feb 10, 2008
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- All my PS3 games.
- All my Blu Ray movies.
- My box sets of Planet Earth and Battlestar Galactica
- The case of KotOR2.
- 2 Fluffy, peanut butter & jelly toast-shaped broches (presents for my niece)
- A small stack of old Pokemon cards (also for my niece who wants them for her 'Wall of Stuff')
- A headset.
- A hanky.
- A portable, 2.5" HDD.
- My nail file (I hate scissors to clip my nails, I keep them short that way)

Well, the nail file is very good for stabbing eyes out and stuff, but zombies don't really care about that and when they get that close I'm pretty much screwed anyway.

So yeah, not much useful there on my left. Or on my right. Or behind me. Or in front of me. I could use my dad's golf club or my sister's hockey stick though. My brother's bow is handy too, but only for sniping. It's a but unwieldy to use on the run.
Numachuka said:
I can drop a fucking piano on them... although after 1 I'm pretty much screwed.
At least it grants you Zombie Kill of the Week:
 

dallan262

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Apr 24, 2008
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eh a knife deoderant hi-fi system ill play some clash whilst smelling good and chibbin enemies with my knife?

unless i could somehow make a spark with the hi-fi making some sort of make shift bomb with that and the deoderant...i could do that when i feel my times coming to an end
 

Mistermixmaster

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Aug 4, 2009
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I got a Nintendo DS, a Pokewalker, Student loan papers and my Toshiba laptop to my left. Well, I guess I'll be poor, but entertained until I die.
 

anian

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Sep 10, 2008
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Hmm, at first I thought "a bunch of papers and a coffee mug...well that's not good," but next to the table I have a nice asortment - bass guitar, 2 tennis rackets, camera tripod.
Still think I'd probably be one of the zombies pretty soon in the movie.
 

Snake Plissken

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Jul 30, 2010
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Since I am in the campus library at my university, I have 4 other people sitting to my left. One of them looks like a football player, and another is some idiot blonde girl. I have bait and defense!
 

jowo96

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Jan 14, 2010
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I have a deodorant can, a USB stick, a DV tape, several CD's, one of those wooden art models and a Mobile Phone. The possibilities and problems as I see them are:

Use the Phone to call the cops, the problem with this is that during a zombie apocalype the police are always among the first to go.

I may be able to combine a gutted mobile and a deodorant can to create either a homemade flamethrower or hand grenade but seeing as I know next to nothing about electronics this is likely to fail.

And maybe deodorant can confuse zombies? But I seriously wouldn't want to test that out because I would look like a twat on the highly likely chance that deodorant had no effect.

I could possibly use the tape inside the DV tape as the least effective garrote ever. But that would almost certainly snap under any force

I could throw CD's Shaun of the Dead style but I think that would just piss the zombies off

I could hit zombies with the manequin but that would probably just annoy them.

If I broke a CD to create a sharp edge and then attatched it to the manequin using the tape and the manequins apendages then I could make a kind of pick axe like weapon but that is unlikey to work

I guess at the end of the day I am just as well off throwing the USB stick at the zombie bastards.
 

ragin64

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Nov 10, 2009
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I have 2 firearms to my left, a drawer full of knives, and about 50 N64 cartridges. Also my tv remote and a pair of sunglasses.
 

HT_Black

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May 1, 2009
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StBishop said:
HT_Black said:
Pump Shottie, .22 magnum, an alligator chopper, a crowbar, and a meter-long rebar.

Hells yeah.
I believe there are two possibilities, hax or didn't read first post.
Neither, actually. See, I live on a farm, right? And lately, we've been having a major fox/raccoon/possum problem, so we keep the shottie and the pistol by the door. Immediately beyond said door--which was open when I wrote my post--is a heavy-duty alligator chopper which we use to remove unsightly trees from the property line. Next to that was a crowbar, which I I moved there two days ago after using it to pry apart some rotten boards in the porch. Lying behind the alligator chopper and crowbar is a meter-long rebar, which I recently used to help fashion a gate and discarded there as I was going in for the night.

See? Totally legit.