Zero Punctuation: Call of Duty: Black Ops 2

SOCIALCONSTRUCT

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LiquidGrape said:
I do love it when Yahtzee tears into the socio-political implications of a game. Amazing rant on white privilege in this one.
Wow I've never heard people whine about white privilege before. Its pretty exiting and edgy. Please tell me more about POC first world problems. Yatzee is risking his job by having such dangerous political opinions!

Yatzee appears to be morphing into another Bob Chipman. Oh well, it was good while it lasted.
 

Trishbot

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Never played a Call of Duty game. Keeping that trend going. Just bought The Witcher 2 instead on Cyber Monday. Huzzah!
 
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MacNille said:
Well, what a suprise here. Yahtzee hating a Modern Military shooter? Who would have thought? This is like that it has never ever happen before. Now I must go down on my knee and blow him as he show me the right way. You know what Yahtzee? Fuck you and fuck your fans who blow you at every conner. This mindless hate for COD is starting to get old. Do I love COD? Nope. Do I hate COD as all your mindless fucking fans do? No! I feel that COD is alright for me.

What is that I see in the sky? A banhammer coming down?
Oh, get off your high horse. You know what what is just about as overplayed than the COD hate-train? Acting a martyr whenever it is brought up.

Duo Oratar said:
It is slightly hypocritical to say that white people were randomly selected to be born the most privileged people on the planet and saying we can't complain about racism against us in the same breath. Yes us being privileged is something we're born into, but so is the whole history of oppressing the blacks thing. I have every right to complain about them being racist towards whites because just as I didn't do anything to deserve the privilege, I didn't do anything to deserve the racism either, I was born into this position and it was my ancestors who did the oppressing, not me.

It is a bit more complex than that. I feel this pretty much sums it up:

 

crimson sickle2

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Isn't this the game with the baby AT-ATs? I'm surprised Yahtzee didn't mention that, as a sign of the developers wanting to make more fun games.
 

remnant_phoenix

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NameIsRobertPaulson said:
Can you tell Yahtzee is sick of the these games yet? This was half review, half political bender.
All the things he's complained about since Modern Warfare 2 are still in these games, so imagine he has to go on tangents such as political benders in order to create a full-length review.
 

Korten12

Now I want ma...!
Aug 26, 2009
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zvate said:
Fantastic Review. A pity it and its sequels will still probably earn more money than many nation's GDP.

What actually is wrong with everyone?
blackrave said:
Shame I really wanted this game not to suck
Well, back to TES5:Skyrim then :(

P.S. I could start my usual rant about Activision and sequel to Battlezone2, but screw it I have more important things to do :(
Um... The game is actually really good. The Single-player actually has choice better then most RPGs by not making Black or White and doesn't always make it obvious that there is a choice which makes it feel more organic. Also in most levels the spaces are big and usually give options to flank and even in some cases more then one path then a corridor.

Also like how he forgets to mention you can ally with the Chinese in the game, one of the major characters is Middle Eastern, and that one of the villians is also White. :/
 

franksands

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I love how spunkgargleweewee has become an official genre. I would actually pay good money to see this outside of ZP. Can you imagine a game review in gamespot (or wherever you prefer) saying something like "it's actually not bad for a spunkgargleweewee game."
 

Aureliano

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Mmm, oldschool Yahtzee review. I've missed the insane analogies, wacky conclusions drawn from reasonable arguments and just general joy that he seems to take in kicking terrible games in the gonads. This episode was fantastic.
 

twesterm

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Have to love how he spends the whole review ragging on the game and saying that anyone who plays it is a complete moron but then right below the video are links to buy the game at all the popular retailers.

Yay credibility!

-edit-

And just to be clear, I'm not trying to call Yahtzee out for not liking the game, it's just silly that he spends five minutes telling us how awful the game is and then is shilling it to us (I can't even remember the last Call of Duty I played, Modern Warfare I think).

Either he's right, the game really is that bad, and The Escapist is trying to push bad games on us that they know is bad even though they gave it 4/5 stars or the game really is good and that's why they want to sell the game and Yahtzee wouldn't know a good game if it bit him in the ass.

Honestly, I lost faith in his reviews long ago, I only really watch them now because it's the end of lunch and I have five minutes to waste.
 

Erttheking

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Gearhead mk2 said:
ARCTIC_EAGLE said:
Dude. Either you're a horribly unfunny troll, or you're the kind of moron that actually enjoys spunkgargleweewee. Either way, you're not welcxome here. Either play Spec Ops: The Line and get some perspective, or get out.

Also, I know this is a Halo song, but I still feel this is apropos given your attitude.
Insulting people for actually enjoying a type of game? That's completely uncalled for man. Come on.

OT: Eh...no offense Yahtzee, but that review was bland as Hell. Didn't laugh once. Also I kinda feel like there's a bit of a mob mentality going on around here with Yahtzee ranting about how much he hates modern warfare games and the people that play them and everyone going into a frenzy agreeing how much it sucks and insulting everyone that disagrees with them. It's rather unpleasant and kinda sickening.
 

superspartan004

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Did he seriously say the camo was useless? I found it so game breaking that I stopped playing it because I ran through the whole level and didn't get shot once.
 

Ukomba

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Blachman201 said:
MacNille said:
Well, what a suprise here. Yahtzee hating a Modern Military shooter? Who would have thought? This is like that it has never ever happen before. Now I must go down on my knee and blow him as he show me the right way. You know what Yahtzee? Fuck you and fuck your fans who blow you at every conner. This mindless hate for COD is starting to get old. Do I love COD? Nope. Do I hate COD as all your mindless fucking fans do? No! I feel that COD is alright for me.

What is that I see in the sky? A banhammer coming down?
Oh, get off your high horse. You know what what is just about as overplayed than the COD hate-train? Acting a martyr whenever it is brought up.

Duo Oratar said:
It is slightly hypocritical to say that white people were randomly selected to be born the most privileged people on the planet and saying we can't complain about racism against us in the same breath. Yes us being privileged is something we're born into, but so is the whole history of oppressing the blacks thing. I have every right to complain about them being racist towards whites because just as I didn't do anything to deserve the privilege, I didn't do anything to deserve the racism either, I was born into this position and it was my ancestors who did the oppressing, not me.

It is a bit more complex than that. I feel this pretty much sums it up:

You're right, that comic does show the complexities of the topic. I especially like the part in panel 4, where the second white man shows up has a bloody and destructive fight with the first one, eventually pulling him off that perch, and removes the ball and chain. I know you can't see all that, but it must be there because the comic is so complex, or it just passes over all that by having the shackle magically fall off on it's own, which ever.

Using slaves wasn't working out so well for the south while it was allowed, and really didn't work out for them in the long run. The north was far more economically prosperous pre-civil war. Not to mention that it was only a small group of rich whites that ever owned slaves, so the vast majority of even southerners were innocent of this. It's not like slaves would have had befitted from them, unless you think sweatshop workers help the average worker in china.

It should be pointed out, that Slavery wasn't unique to America/Europe, it was a sad truth everywhere in the world from as far back as you want to go, right up to abolitionist movements of England and America.
 

PunkRex

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You guys replying to ARTIC EAGLES comments realise he fucking with you... seriously, you realise that, right? Or are you just playing into it for giggles... please tell me thats what your doing... *weeps* I CAN'T TELL!!!
 

fozzy360

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Oct 20, 2009
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First off, I loved the game, and this is coming from someone who previously had no love for the franchise outside of Blops 1.

Secondly, I find it hilarious that the people on here who hate the franchise with such a deep passion come off as more immature and childish than the fanbase they love to hate. Don't some of you find that you're being a bit hypocritical when you call folks who liked the game morons yet you can't handle that fact like a grown-up?
 

RedDeadFred

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May 13, 2009
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ARCTIC_EAGLE said:
RaikuFA said:
ARCTIC_EAGLE said:
Wow, worst review EVER! Any professional review would give this game, the most amazing in history, a 90-100 or 4/5. Every single part of this game is new and interesting and amazing, you're inability to recognize that demonstrates how bad you are at reviewing. When COD:B03 comes out in 2 years you can correct you mistake by giving it a 90-100 like every other reviewer will. Be sure to do the same for COD:MW4, COD:MW5, COD:BO4, COD:MW6, etc. They will ALL be amazing and look amazing and just be more amazing then the amazingly amazing game that came before. In fact they'll be so amazing they'll amaze you into an amazement coma of amazement.
I hate the fact that I'm gonna be the one to break it to you but...

A lot of people are getting sick of spunkgargleweewee. The bubble's about to burst. The only reason reviewers give them high scores is cause they get paid for them. BTW Santa ain't real.
is that why COD:BO2 is the best selling in the COD franchise? Go back to your basement and let the real gamers enjoy the best game ever made, COD:BO2.
Did you seriously just pull the "it has sold a lot so it must be good" card? By that logic Transformers: Dark of the Moon must be a masterpiece in film making seeing has it's the fifth highest grossing film of all time. It also means that Avatar is the best movie ever.

Still want to use that argument?

OT: This was one of the funnier reviews you've done in quite some time. I have no plans to get this game because I'm not really into the multiplayer or zombies and those are really the only reason you'd want it.
 

dyre

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Mar 30, 2011
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The "minorities are the enemy" thing is annoying in the vast majority of military shooters, but honestly I think Yahtzee's just being lazy when he applies it to this one. While CoDBlops2 does employ a lot of non-white people as enemies, it's strongly implied throughout the game that the reason that these non-whites decided to gang up on the US is that the CIA and the US military have been fucking up their countries for the past few decades. Blops2 actually tries to be historically grounded, and let's be honest here: there are a lot of countries with non-whites that the US did a lot of damage to in the Cold War.

Honestly, the game does a pretty decent job at creating enemies with legitimate reasons to be enemies. It even develops the story in a way that drives a "the actions of our military and CIA often have unintended consequences" theme by expanding the main antagonist's backstory over time and showing just how much reason he has to hate us.

On another note, Blops2 was the least-linear modern military arcade shooter I've played in a long time. I get the feeling that instead of playing the game and then developing appropriate criticisms, he recycled his standard (and usually accurate) set of criticisms for shooters, and then tried to apply Blops2 to them.

superspartan004 said:
Did he seriously say the camo was useless? I found it so game breaking that I stopped playing it because I ran through the whole level and didn't get shot once.
I'm guessing he tried it once (when you first get it, and then get EMP'd or something as soon as you walk through the first door), gave up on it, and based his claim on just that one time. I like Yahtzee's reviews, but sometimes it's pretty clear he doesn't really give the games an honest playthrough before he reviews them.
 

Gasbandit

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In this thread: Millenials discover white guilt and outrage after learning world history from Seth McFarlane.