Zero Punctuation: Call of Duty: Black Ops 3

Kenjitsuka

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Sep 10, 2009
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Now I've got Painted black in my head.
Which isn't bad, mind...

Let's see if it's better with "orange" and "window"!!! :D
 

CaitSeith

Formely Gone Gonzo
Legacy
Jun 30, 2014
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I hope Yahtzee is wrong in his prediction. I'd hate to live in a future where I get shamed for not being politically correct towards my toaster...
 

Al_

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Aug 15, 2008
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Freedom153 said:
I just knew this was coming. And that it would be amusing.

I did not, however, anticipate the Furby holding up a "Check your womb privilege" sign. Well done.
I wasn't expecting Rolf Harris to be teamed up with Hitler. Had to rewind to check that's what I saw
 

Darth_Payn

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Aug 5, 2009
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If CoD:BlOps III is blatantly ripping off other games, it's a good guess they'll steal Deus Ex: Human Revolution's opening title sequence of showing the main character having his new parts installed through the credits. But I laughed at how many times Yahtzee said "syndicate".
Dalisclock said:
el_emmens said:
last week halo 5, this week Black Ops 3. feels like a strange kind of count down, but it's missing a number. strange, I wonder what video game recently came out with a 4 in it. hmm I guess we'll have to wait till next week to find out and see if he liked it.
Well Assassins Creed just released game 9(which is probably why they stopped using numbers), Tomb Raider 2 just dropped, Fallout 4, carry the 2......

Half life 4 confirmed!

No? Too soon?
Because the Tomb Raider series has been rebooted (unless I heard wrong and they're sticking to prequels) I call it Tomb Raider 2.0. So the newest game is Tomb Raider 2.0 2.
hentropy said:
erttheking said:
I guess women tend to be snipers a bit more often because...it's seen as more elegant and feminine to take your enemy out from a distance with a single shot than to hose them down with a mini-gun? I dunno, fuck me if I know.

So all in another. That's it. Just "another."
There's an old tale about how women make better snipers because they have steadier hands/arms. I'm not actually sure if it's a scientifically proven thing or a total myth. As someone else above me said, there's also been situations during war when women were utilized as sharpshooters. There may have been many justifications for this aside from "women are better snipers", such as snipers being hidden and thus not getting killed as often, and if found they can pretend to be civilians.

Women who were snipers during WWII or Vietnam however were usually shooting with what were essentially scoped hunting rifles. Those can be devastating obviously, ask The White Death, but modern military sniper rifles tend to be the heaviest and most cumbersome personal guns out there, meaning practically it would take quite a muscular woman to haul the rifles over long distances. This is essentially the main barrier to letting women into combat roles, it's not lifting and using the weapons, it's carrying them over long distances.

Plus, we all know which military role women are best suited for...


I seem to remember the Soviets in C&C: Red Alert 3 having women pilot the tanks, missile launchers, and helicopters.
 

Gatlank

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Aug 26, 2014
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Darth_Payn said:
I seem to remember the Soviets in C&C: Red Alert 3 having women pilot the tanks, missile launchers, and helicopters.
Soviet women tended to kick a lot of ass in WWII and handle deadly machinery.
Also related to the video "The Soviets found that sniper duties fit women well, since good snipers are patient, deliberate, have a high level of aerobic conditioning, and normally avoid hand-to-hand combat."
 

Cid Silverwing

Paladin of The Light
Jul 27, 2008
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CaitSeith said:
I hope Yahtzee is wrong in his prediction. I'd hate to live in a future where I get shamed for not being politically correct towards my toaster...
With the current direction of Western culture-politics, I wouldn't be all that fucking shocked if the SJW crybullies started going after people for "offending" electronics.
 

Lightspeaker

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Dec 31, 2011
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hentropy said:
Plus, we all know which military role women are best suited for...


Of course. Tanks are perfect expressions of femininity; intense and strong, passionate and precise, yet adorable. Training in tanks makes you healthier, kinder and stronger. Its an excellent training experience for young ladies. (If anyone is wondering: This is me just quoting more or less verbatim from the first episode.)

I seem to recall one scene in which they comment about the lack of males in tankery and one of them point it out as it being a singularly unsuitable sport for men and that few boys are likely to be interested in that kind of thing.

Love that series. :)
 

scienceguy8

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Sep 1, 2008
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RJ Dalton said:
Is that part about the bees really in the game, or is that just a joke? I can't tell because I've never bothered with a Call of Duty game, but what I've heard about them suggests they are kinda ridiculous.
It's an ability called Firefly. Basic version deploys a swarm of nanobots that distract human enemies. Advanced version sets human enemies on fire.
 

mysecondlife

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Feb 24, 2011
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hentropy said:
erttheking said:
I guess women tend to be snipers a bit more often because...it's seen as more elegant and feminine to take your enemy out from a distance with a single shot than to hose them down with a mini-gun? I dunno, fuck me if I know.

So all in another. That's it. Just "another."
There's an old tale about how women make better snipers because they have steadier hands/arms. I'm not actually sure if it's a scientifically proven thing or a total myth. As someone else above me said, there's also been situations during war when women were utilized as sharpshooters. There may have been many justifications for this aside from "women are better snipers", such as snipers being hidden and thus not getting killed as often, and if found they can pretend to be civilians.

Women who were snipers during WWII or Vietnam however were usually shooting with what were essentially scoped hunting rifles. Those can be devastating obviously, ask The White Death, but modern military sniper rifles tend to be the heaviest and most cumbersome personal guns out there, meaning practically it would take quite a muscular woman to haul the rifles over long distances. This is essentially the main barrier to letting women into combat roles, it's not lifting and using the weapons, it's carrying them over long distances.

Plus, we all know which military role women are best suited for...


I think there's some truth to what you say. I remember reading that women basketball players overall have edge over men when it comes to free-throw shooting. Of course, women uses smaller basketball but considering that the diameter of the ball is only 1 inch less than what men use, I say its pretty negligible.
 

Canadamus Prime

Robot in Disguise
Jun 17, 2009
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I was hoping he'd do Fallout 4 this week. After all the obnoxious hype surrounding that game, I'd love to see Yahtzee rip it a new one.
 

deadish

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Dec 4, 2011
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09philj said:
Sometimes I think there's a plot to prop up the console market by making a set proportions of PC ports run badly, be straight up broken, or something in between. Or the publishers just don't care about PC.
I believe this calls for Occam's razor.
 

Dragonlayer

Aka Corporal Yakob
Dec 5, 2013
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I don't care what anyone says, I'm getting this because the main villain is a cyber augmented Elliot Stabler.

That said, if you want me to get your games for proper reasons COD, you know what you have to do: WW2 from the Axis perspective and with more focus on the single-player then a panicked 10 minutes because you realized the deadline was today.
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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Aug 8, 2007
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I know it's wildly unpopular to like things, but I´ve been playing this with friends and I'm enjoying it. I also very much like that the story is indeed more of a sci-fi thriller than a military action one. Yeah, very fun... I specially found the augmented magic cyber wizard powers were a blast to use... I really want the sick sad future to include outraged furbies.
 

Enosh_

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Aug 27, 2008
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the blops3 story is a lot more trippy than most people realize and sadly (or intentionally I'm honestly not sure) it's not made clear enough during the game

you are actually dead after the first or second mission, the whole game after that is just your DNI acting crazy and making your last dying "dream" be a condensed version of Taylor memories (just like when you interface with Starbuck after you defeat her and go through her dying dream involving WW2), so you are playing through events as Taylor did them, with some added stuff based on your experiences, aka the AI stuff because you fear robots since they well killed you, there is that scrolling text before each mission it talks about how Taylor and Hendricks track down a rogue soldier who with his team uncovered that the CIA is responsible for the disaster in Singapore (!!), your mind just replaced him with Taylor and his team

it's also why Hendricks ask Taylor if he is still dating Rachel in the first mission, that Rachel Kane the sniper chick, or why Hendricks knows Kalil in the first mission but doesn't latter on, or why he is known as a hero of the uprising while the uprising happens latter in the game
 

Lazule

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Oct 11, 2013
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EA:
>Uses the subtitle "Black Ops"
>Isn't a fully dedicated Stealth game.

Why is this piece of garbage and it's spin-offs still exist?