Hey Yahtzee, I know you don't like multiplayer, but you didn't even mention Combat Training! It's all the fun of multiplayer, without the douchebags, and if you so choose, without the difficulty! It's you, playing multiplayer against a chosen number of AI's, not actual people. You can make them as easy or hard as you want, and let's face it, a 1 v 9 match against pants-on-head retarded AI's is hillarious! And if that gets boring, you can always turn up the difficulty. Or you can even have a 6v6 match where 5 of them are on your team. I really think this would help you with your phobia of multiplayer, and you might even have some fun in the process.