Zero Punctuation: Duke Nukem Forever

angryscotsman93

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Dec 27, 2008
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Goddamn, I love that guy's sarcasm! When I first heard him say all this glowingly positive stuff, I nearly thought someone had kidnapped the poor, snarky bastard and replaced him with some sort of game-reviewing alien that loved everything it saw, like some fucked-up children's cartoon character. But just before I started strapping on my combat boots and girding up to save the life of my favorite game critic, I realized he was just spending the entire review being sarcastic.

Bravo, Sirrah! One of your finest moments! I think the time when I first caught on was when he started talking about the control scheme. Knowing Yahtzee, I knew that something wasn't up when he mentioned how you were supposed to walk- a gimmick which would make him explode with putrid rage without fail, normally. Then the facial expression bit really tipped me off.
 

Slurp

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Apr 1, 2009
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kitsunegunner said:
umm you kjnow he was making fun of it right he didnt like it at all the sacarsm is spread more thickly then branston pickle on yahtzee's sandwich which im sure he's choking on from laughing at people who thinks he's serious go and buy the game then blame him when it sucks.
Don't correct people like that when you don't know what you're talking about
The game was cancelled after like 13 years about a week ago
 

Alzabane

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May 30, 2009
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very funny vid, would you review this if another source picked it up and was released? Well I hope to see you review either bionic commando or punch out!! next week
 

the cat

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Dec 27, 2008
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I don't think the monkeys are your friends. Really sad, but true. I'm just connecting the dots from top to bottom taking into account both groups. Manipulation and misinformation at every turn. They've been hammering hard since 1998 on ALL fronts.
 

xdiesp

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Oct 21, 2007
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BoneCrusherBOB said:
azadiscool said:
puchead said:
i was al ready to go to play.com and buy this fucker-but no......
Yahtzee pulls a dick move extrordinair by revealibg that it wasn't out yet...




Prick......
I really hope you are kidding.
My sentiment's exactly.
At least you didn't actually spend money on it... right?
 

BoneCrusherBOB

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May 28, 2009
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xdiesp said:
BoneCrusherBOB said:
azadiscool said:
puchead said:
i was al ready to go to play.com and buy this fucker-but no......
Yahtzee pulls a dick move extrordinair by revealibg that it wasn't out yet...




Prick......
I really hope you are kidding.
My sentiment's exactly.
At least you didn't actually spend money on it... right?
Dude the game doesn't exist it will never exist they stopped making it. That was the whole point of this video.Yahtzee was making fun of the duke nukem fans.
 

Pickel Surprise

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May 22, 2009
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In such a massive thread, I have a feeling that no one will ever notice this post, but I'll put it up anyway.

I have to say that this was one of the most awesome reviews EVAR. That is all.
 

Moose Fisher

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Feb 11, 2009
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Best. Zero Punctuation review. EVER.

I was sorta hoping DNF would be released, but only if it was full of parody.

"Only cowards crouch behind cover to regain health, real men slap on bandages by walking over health packs!"
Stuff like that.

I still wonder though, what was 3dRealms DOING over the past 12 years?!
 

culade

Quiet Knoll
Dec 17, 2007
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Moose Fisher said:
I still wonder though, what was 3dRealms DOING over the past 12 years?!
i wanna know what they spent their money on, other than WOW of course, and who gave them a dozen years worth of money to waste.

Oldmanwillow said:
They were close to done and they need just a little more funding. Take two wouldn't give the funding know full well that they could get the right to the game when the product couldn't be completed.
That's not entirely true. Take2 did offer them $5 million for the DN IP, with the option to buy it back after release, but 3Drealms refused. Now Take2 is suing them for the IP and everything related to DNF.

If Take2 wins, DNF will most likely be handed to another dev team and be released long before 2021.
 

Jsnoopy

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Nov 20, 2008
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holy shit! 20 pages, nearly 700 comments..... I honestly didn't think people still cared about DNF.



........anyways, LULZ at the "that's so targic" part. Genius!
 

Broken Blade

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Nov 29, 2007
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kitsunegunner said:
Broken Blade said:
Such an epic masterpiece, and a game that Yahtzee actually likes! See, it only takes a decade to make a game that fits his incredible standards!

Another excellent one, Yahtzee. I was howling half the time.
umm you kjnow he was making fun of it right he didnt like it at all the sacarsm is spread more thickly then branston pickle on yahtzee's sandwich which im sure he's choking on from laughing at people who thinks he's serious go and buy the game then blame him when it sucks.
Yes, I know he was being sarcastic. I am not a moron. Thank you.
 

Quelthazar

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Jan 26, 2009
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This is just EPIC!!! I can't believe how many people think that this game actually exists... Seriously... this is more funnier to read than the video... I'm speechless... xD
But the video was LOLz to xD
 

Zeriah

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Mar 26, 2009
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Hilarious rofl. I think this is Yahtzee's best review ever. Brilliant satire!