Zero Punctuation: E3 2014 - Deflate Your Hype Balloons

ShinobiJedi42

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Racecarlock said:
Oh come on yahtzee, you gotta admit that No Man's Sky was at least a little bit exciting. I mean, space combat and procedurally generated planets? That's gotta be something, right?
I feel like he'll talk a little more about the one or two games that may have impressed him on his extra punctuation next week. I figured he would be interested in No Man's Sky, considering that it's similar to his description of what he wanted ME3 to be. It looks like it has the potential to define this console generation. It's certainly the highlight of E3 for me.
 

Remus

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Nov 24, 2012
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E3 had a few cool things beyond the Big 3 trying to shout each other down. Bloodborne looks like it might finally be that steampunk adventure game I've been waiting for, No Man's Sky joins a plethora of space sims on the horizon, with the added benefit of having world exploration as well. Destiny has all the addictive skinnerbox qualities of Borderlands, but with realistic graphics and a more serious tone. Oh and BF Hardline is a thing. A thing meaning it's good to waste an hour or so on if you like random violence without consequence, unlike the most recent GTA outing (now being upscaled to PS4) whose characters were as endearing as a bag of dicks. Did anyone else feel a swell of pity for those poor guys on that rooftop that had the misfortune of being in game when the EA rep announced "Limited beta keys! GO GO GO!"? Because the servers crashed almost immediately. Mirrors Edge 2 has 1 hit takedowns! Guess Dice got the hint from the first game that the FPS sections were utter shit so now we can almost completely bypass those sections in the new game. Still nothing on The Last Guardian though, which is supposedly still in production and yet was absent from Sony's conference.
 

orangeapples

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In a race of 3 where Sony/Microsoft appeared to be playing QWOP of course Nintendo was going to win. Nintendo won by simply not being bad.
 

Steve2911

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A small piece of me dies every time Yahtzee tries to make 'Pisspoor' a thing.

No, it's not a thing. Stop it.
 

Daneward Locke

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Apr 20, 2011
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Coolblue said:
LordTerminal said:
Carbo said:
Come on Yahtzee, give Nintendo some credit - they finally came out with a new idea/IP instead of rehashing Mario all the time.
Actually TWO new IPs. Codename S.T.E.A.M. had an entire 90 minute roundtable dedicated to it. Really Yahtzee? You wonder why Nintendo doesn't make new IPs when that's how you and pretty much every schmeg w/ the gall to call themselves a gamer acts when they actually DO make new IPs?
Exactly. And I also feel like this is Yahtzee's biggest fucking problem nowadays; He's got too much god damn wax in his ears that he can't read anything farther than Mario, Zelda or any of Nintendo's other IP's. He was really fucking late for the whole "Hyrule Warriors (name not final)" joke, plus there was also shit I expected him to bash on, A.K.A. the whole Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker fiasco, amiibo stuff and hell, even Miyamoto's new games, Yarn Yoshi and Xenoblade Chronicles. There was a ton of stuff from Nintendo that he missed. And i'm sorry if I still sound like Nintendo Fanboy #18422, but i've said my point before, and i'll say it again: Yahtzee HAS NO REASON to avoid Nintendo and their new things. He needs to get the gunk out of his ears and eyes and actually LOOK at the new things Nintendo's doing, instead of just saying "Oh there's Mario and Zelda and that's about it". And really, the more he's doing this the more it's not doing him justice.
The thing that gets me about this is that one of Yahtzee's biggest complaints about Nintendo is that they never do anything new, something that comes up several times in basically every Nintendo review he does; I was actually looking forward to this week's ZP because I was interested seeing how he'd react to Nintendo actually doing what he said he wants them to do, and Splatoon looking genuinely interesting besides added to that. Apparently his reaction to getting what he's been asking for is "give the thing a throwaway line and otherwise ignore it". It was quite a letdown, really.
 

karma9308

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This was a fantastic episode, but that *thud* at the end was amazing. Honestly wasn't expecting that.

Coolblue said:
Exactly. And I also feel like this is Yahtzee's biggest fucking problem nowadays; He's got too much god damn wax in his ears that he can't read anything farther than Mario, Zelda or any of Nintendo's other IP's.
Not that I want to stick my nose into this argument, but wouldn't it be cataracts in his eyes or something? Wax in his ears kinda has nothing to do with reading comprehension.
 

Mike Pothier

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First, everyone, keep in mind that Yahtzee thrives on negativity, and he wasn't going to spend any time saying anything positive about E3. That would go against his entire schtick here.

Its pretty clear he had to rush through panning Nintendo, for example, because Nintendo didn't give much reason to complain this year.
 

NuclearKangaroo

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counselor Nvidia! i knew it!

i for one am excited about grim fandango and no mans land and thats enough for me
 

ToastiestZombie

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Nice video Yahtzee, at least you've actually acknowledged Nintendo, unlike some other high-profile internet starts *cough* TotalBiscuit *cough*.
 

MowDownJoe

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Carbo said:
Come on Yahtzee, give Nintendo some credit - they finally came out with a new idea/IP instead of rehashing Mario all the time.
Two, actually. I'm super-hyped about Code Name STEAM. Even if it does seem heavily inspired by XCOM:EU and any random Steampunk property you can think of.
 

HK_01

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All I wanted out of E3 was an announcement of Fallout 4 :(

I really do wonder when Bethesda are finally going to get around to it. I mean, Skyrim's been out for three years at this point, it's about time for a new big game. And when it finally does come out, I look forward to hearing what Yahtzee thinks of it.
 

RealRT

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E3 2014 might as well have not existed. I mean, come on, there was absolutely nothing to be excited about there. It was Empty multiplied by 3.
 

freaper

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Apr 3, 2010
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That Puss4 was amazing! I don't really have anything in particular to look forward to this year, we'll have to wait and see what rolls out.
 

DJShire

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Alternative title for this episode: "Your hype train DERAILED MOTHERFUCKERS!"

(Hopefully this didn't come off as too harsh, but considering how many times I saw the words "hype train" on Twitter during E3, I think its almost deserved)
 

Micah Weil

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Zachary Amaranth said:
Do they send Roombas back in time to clean up history's greatest messes?

<.<

Sorry, this sounds more interesting than E3.
...Roombas vs Hitler and Stalin! BRILLIANT!
I think we're gonna need a dev team and a kickstarter... :p
 

Coolblue

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Not that I want to stick my nose into this argument, but wouldn't it be cataracts in his eyes or something? Wax in his ears kinda has nothing to do with reading comprehension.
Probably that too.
 

Flaery

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Dec 23, 2012
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I know the point of these videos is to kill hype and that these are exaggerated versions of your actual opinion, but c'mon! You have to at least acknowledge the good with the bad to create contrast or perspective; or at least stop contriving arguments for why nothing is good. (Splatoon characters being in the new Smash Bros. is very unlikely at this point and is a half-assed excuse to not get hyped when there are perfectly valid reasons not to.)

On the off-hand, these are 5-minute videos, so perhaps if there were to be more in-depth discussion on E3 it would be better suited to your weekly articles instead of Zero Punctuation.

I suppose taking into account the purpose of these videos, This is one of the better Zero Punctuations as of late; but for me, the character is getting tiresome.
 

josh4president

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Mar 24, 2010
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Yet one more reason to be part of the GLORIOUS PC GAMING MASTER RACE!

Join me, fellow PC gamers, as we sit upon our thrones of bricked consoles swirling spirits about in our golden chalices shaped like Xbone controllers while being fanned and massaged by the dirty console-playing peasants!
 

LobsterFeng

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Apr 10, 2011
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Yeah I can already see what would happen in AssCreed: Unity for most people.

Player 1: "Alright guys our target is heavily surrounded. Let's stay quiet and wait for an opening."

Player 2: "CHAAAAAAAAAAERGEEEE!" *runs into the crowd of soldiers killing left and right making the target flee*

Player 3: *follows behind player 2 looting all the bodies*

Player 4: *outside trying to grab a collectible*

Player 1: "Goddammit."

Also the only thing that interested me was the Batman: Arkham Knight gameplay. Watching Batman shoot out of his batmobile and into the sky in one swift moment was the coolest thing. THE COOLEST THING.