Zero Punctuation: E3 2014 - Deflate Your Hype Balloons

[BurningWyvern90]

I hardly even paid attention to E3 this year and still ended up hearing about most of the nonsense that went down. And largely didn't care.

The only thing I noticed that I'm actually interested in is No Man's Sky. Now THAT I'll get excited about.

 

[spwatkins]

A small piece of me dies every time Yahtzee tries to make 'Pisspoor' a thing.

No, it's not a thing. Stop it.

piss-poor has been a thing in my neck of the woods for decades.

Well yeah, obviously I know it's an expression. Especially in the UK.

It's just not a thing I've heard anyone but Yahtzee use to make fun of the PS4. At least Bone comes naturally.

I see. I thought he was saying "Piss Four"

 

[Reaper195]

Kinda odd to comment on how the other publishers tended towards CGI trailers when Nintendo had few if any of those with actual gameplay on constant display, but I suppose one has to do a bit more work to de-hype Nintendo this time around relative to the rest.

"De-hype is to the benefit of the consumer" has been his mantra WRT E3, after all.

THat's probably because Nintendo run on net to nothing but nostalgia. And a lot of people simply don't care about playing the same fighting game with a graphical upgrade and some new characters, or another Kart game. Or nothing remotely new. There's Splatoon, but fuck multiplayer only games.

 

[Something Amyss]

...Roombas vs Hitler and Stalin! BRILLIANT!
I think we're gonna need a dev team and a kickstarter...

Who needs a dev team? Let's just start a Kickstarter and throw up some hastily scribbled designs!

....Wait, that's more an EA thing.

 

[Dragonbums]

THat's probably because Nintendo run on net to nothing but nostalgia. And a lot of people simply don't care about playing the same fighting game with a graphical upgrade and some new characters, or another Kart game. Or nothing remotely new. There's Splatoon, but fuck multiplayer only games.

SSB comes out once every console generation. So of course after like 6 years or so people would be excited for a new Smash game.

Nintendo's Direct involved two new IP's (4 if your counting the new IP's Miyamoto was currently working on)- Splatoon and Project: STEAM. Both of which had extensive talk time during their Treehouse Livestream.

Another was a crossover of Dynasty Warriors and LoZ

They then talked about an offshoot puzzle game revolving around Toad that expanded upon the gameplay sidequests in Super Mario Galaxy.

They also brought back a Kirby game in the same vein as Canvas curse and another yarn based platform for Yoshi.

Mario Kart had zero mentions in the entire E3 (and why would they the game came out already),

The Zelda IP had a total of 3 minutes of screen time. 2 minutes and 20 seconds of it being taken up by Aounouma talking about Legend of Zelda in front of a blank screen before showing a 45 second in game trailer.

Mario's only mention in a game was a Mario Level maker. That's it.



So yeah. Let's keep up with the very shallow and untrue claim that Nintendo only showed Smash, Mario, and Zelda in their E3.



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[Mike Pothier]

Kinda odd to comment on how the other publishers tended towards CGI trailers when Nintendo had few if any of those with actual gameplay on constant display, but I suppose one has to do a bit more work to de-hype Nintendo this time around relative to the rest.

"De-hype is to the benefit of the consumer" has been his mantra WRT E3, after all.

THat's probably because Nintendo run on net to nothing but great, finely crafted games. And a lot of people simply don't care about playing the same fighting game with a graphical upgrade and some new characters, or another Kart game. Or nothing remotely new. There's Splatoon, but fuck multiplayer only games.

Fixed. Sorry, but some of us still consider Nintendo to be one of the best developers out there. Each Smash Brothers is more than just a graphical upgrade, for example.

 

[RJ 17]

Don't know why, but the smug-kitty face for the PS4 got a really good laugh out of me. Just seemed so fitting.

Also, in watching the little animation for the credits, I couldn't help but imagine the Warlord PC saying "What is a console? A miserable pile of secrets!"

 

[McMarbles]

Kinda odd to comment on how the other publishers tended towards CGI trailers when Nintendo had few if any of those with actual gameplay on constant display, but I suppose one has to do a bit more work to de-hype Nintendo this time around relative to the rest.

"De-hype is to the benefit of the consumer" has been his mantra WRT E3, after all.

THat's probably because Nintendo run on net to nothing but great, finely crafted games. And a lot of people simply don't care about playing the same fighting game with a graphical upgrade and some new characters, or another Kart game. Or nothing remotely new. There's Splatoon, but fuck multiplayer only games.

Fixed. Sorry, but some of us still consider Nintendo to be one of the best developers out there. Each Smash Brothers is more than just a graphical upgrade, for example.

Nobody cares about facts when they have a narrative to push.

But I don't expect anything fair from Yahtzee re: Nintendo, not after the LOZ:ALBW "review". He's made it clear he isn't bothering anymore in regards to them, so why take him to task for it?

 

[Nazulu]

Felt the same way Yahtzee, it all looks like the same wank material.

So many people (even here) think you should be automatically excited for Nintendo's announcements when it still looks like the same bloody thing, except for Zelda were we haven't seen fuck all. And they keep mentioning they have new titles like they are the solution to everything. They're not even fucking out yet and people are calling them great games already.

 

[Mike Pothier]

Felt the same way Yahtzee, it all looks like the same wank material.

So many think people should be automatically excited for Nintendo's announcements when it still looks like the same bloody thing, except for Zelda were we haven't seen fuck all. And they keep mentioning they have new titles like they are the solution to everything. They're not even fucking out yet and people are calling them great games already.

Er, new games ARE the solution to everything. That is the problem with the Wii U, lack of games. Most of us are excited because Nintendo has a proven history of creating remarkable games, so why should we expect these to be any different?

 

[Charli]

Ah nothing like an old fobbing off of E3 to get the giggles going.

That end joke drew an actual out-loud laugh from me. The visual imagery of it happening just tickled me.

I was expecting a wildstar review this week though.

That's out!? O-o

Talk about a lack of hype... lol

Shhhh the community is nice and small and friendly, and the game is great, but don't tell anyone. Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

 

[Nazulu]

Felt the same way Yahtzee, it all looks like the same wank material.

So many think people should be automatically excited for Nintendo's announcements when it still looks like the same bloody thing, except for Zelda were we haven't seen fuck all. And they keep mentioning they have new titles like they are the solution to everything. They're not even fucking out yet and people are calling them great games already.

Er, new games ARE the solution to everything. That is the problem with the Wii U, lack of games. Most of us are excited because Nintendo has a proven history of creating remarkable games, so why should we expect these to be any different?

That's not what I'm talking about. What I'm annoyed at is people expecting everyone else to be hyped like them, or say you have no reason to be. The new titles they've revealed don't appeal to me, yet I've already had 5 jerks tell me I'm being too difficult.

I have no problem with people being hyped, but this attitude that I should be hyped is really annoying.

 

[Silentpony_v1legacy]

I was expecting a wildstar review this week though.

That's out!? O-o

Talk about a lack of hype... lol

I didn't think it was out yet. But we all know how his and indeed everyone's review will be; Its WOW in space. And its a moot point at the end of the day. Wildstar may be the single greatest MMORPG ever made, but WOW is so monolithic and ingrained at the only relevant MMO that nothing Wildstar will ever do will compete in anyway.

Wildstar looks quirky and fun, but I'm giving it a shelf life of 2 years before servers start going down. Two more years after that and it'll shut its door quietly and be lost like every one MMO.

 

[Hades]

Perhaps instant cynicism to everything can be just as misleading as hype.

I get the impression that Yahtzee already made up his mind before the E3 and created an image he would not let go of. The solution to anything that does not fit into his view of cinematic trailers, uninspired sequels and the three consoles failing is to simply ignore it or twist it into something bad.

Nintendo is the best example.
Yahtzee complaints about not getting any gameplay trailers, he gets nothing BUT gameplay trailers from Nintendo but just reject it from his memory. Yahtzee keeps saying Nintendo releases the same game over and over again, in response Nintendo shows a new IP, a zelda completely different from any that came before it and Bayonetta which is as different from Nintendo's other IP's as it gets. Nope! its still ''just the same stuff''

Sony shows us games from developers Yahtzee seems to respect as well as a remake of a game he was positive about for a change. His response? ''How dare they be so smug!''


I'm all in for some cynicism when deserved but i found this video downright dishonest. There's quite a lot that doesn't fall into the view Yahtzee has of this years E3.

 

[Zak757]

Because Yahtzee is only ever allowed to be unhappy and cynical, and that weakly calling Nintendo's conference "masturbatory" was the only way he could think of putting them down, I'd say that speaks volumes for what a great job they did this E3.

I didn't get a Wii U because of it since university starts in September for me (don't want to be distracted in a course as tough as aviation) but I did grab a 3DS XL.

 

[ResonanceSD]

The PC is wearing a TotalBiscuit hat.

This is my favorite episode. Ever. EVER!

 

[Programmed_For_Damage]

I loved that smug-looking cat. I laughed out loud at the Nintendo summary. That purple ass-rupturing dildo looked downright terrifying.

 

[Sniper Team 4]

I agree with Yahtzee on this video completely. E3 was nothing but a big let down for me this year. There just wasn't anything that got me super excited like previous years. In fact, the week came and went and I was still going, "I'm sure tomorrow there will be something up on the web...what? You mean it's Monday already?"

 

[irishda]

Kinda odd to comment on how the other publishers tended towards CGI trailers when Nintendo had few if any of those with actual gameplay on constant display, but I suppose one has to do a bit more work to de-hype Nintendo this time around relative to the rest.

"De-hype is to the benefit of the consumer" has been his mantra WRT E3, after all.

Nintendo is to new IPs what TV Land is to new shows: there might be one or two kicking around but bugger all if anyone knows what those are when they're buried in the mountain of rubble that is repeating series. People complain EA just puts out new iterations of what we have and then pop a boner because Smash Bros. increased the roster and that's worth $60.

There.

 

[irishda]

I mean really, what is E3 these days if not a giant three day long convention on why you should just buy a gaming PC and give up on the consoles all together?

PC Master Race: because the winner is the gaming system where expansive customization means you could be spending more time trying to get a game to work than actually playing the game.