Zero Punctuation: Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars

Nishu

New member
Apr 8, 2009
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How the hell do you reply about a 5 minute video posted at 12:00 (EST) sometime before 12:05? It's amazing how this happens every week.
 

kirbyfan8

Regular Member
Feb 11, 2009
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Its really surprising how many people know how good the video is before watching it.

I just beat Chinatown Wars, and I must say I was a little shaken by this review. He listed numerous flaws, all true, and then praised it toward the end. Yet I still can't find a single thing wrong with what he said. Actually thats not true, I found this game to be excruciatingly difficult, but that's probably just me.
 

PandarenBa

New member
Mar 27, 2009
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It was good, but something was amiss in there. I don't know if it was the voice, or the jokes, but it didn't feel as ZP as the previous episodes.

Mmmmm, Branston Pickle Chocolate Eggs...
 

Sylocat

Sci-Fi & Shakespeare
Nov 13, 2007
2,122
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*sigh* I'm used to hearing him spend the first minute of the review bashing the Wii before he ever gets around to talking about the actual game he's reviewing... when he's reviewing a Wii game. Now he seems to spend as much time as possible shoehorning Wii-bashing into the review even when he's reviewing a DS game.

Wait for the time when he starts devoting half of every 360, PS3 and PC game review to attacking the Wii.
 

DanTheBigMan

New member
Oct 18, 2008
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I knew as soon as he said Cadbury Egg and Branston Pickle that it was not going to end well.
Great review, as always, and I'm glad I stopped giving a shit about GTA with Vice City.
 
Feb 13, 2008
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Jindrak said:
How the dear sweet Jesus do you come up with the "mounted on an obese man on a segway" metaphors? That was amazing.
Take a look at Postal 3....

I've been saying GTA London would be cool for AAAAAAAges now, but there's that fear that they'll do the most atrocious cockney accents this side of Mary Poppins.
 

CMWaters

New member
Sep 17, 2008
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It's interesting to see the view on this subject matter.

Incidentally, I do think there are SOME games that impliment both standard control scheme and touch screens. "Super Princess Peach" is one (and yes, I am a guy and I like that game. So sue me.) "Sonic Rush" and "Sonic Rush Adventures" used it well too, really only using it for the chaos emeralds or seaboard missions respectively.
 

Jack and Calumon

Digimon are cool.
Dec 29, 2008
4,190
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Hmmm, the final joke was really...strange.

Not the best work, but still good, like Guitar Hero 3 when not played on the Wii.
 

Nishu

New member
Apr 8, 2009
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Sylocat said:
*sigh* I'm used to hearing him spend the first minute of the review bashing the Wii before he ever gets around to talking about the actual game he's reviewing... when he's reviewing a Wii game. Now he seems to spend as much time as possible shoehorning Wii-bashing into the review even when he's reviewing a DS game.

Wait for the time when he starts devoting half of every 360, PS3 and PC game review to attacking the Wii.
To be fair, it's a valid point and something a selection of long-term gamers greatly dislike. I like the DS, I like the Wii, but I absolutely hate how nearly ever game has some sort of forced stylus/remote gimmick. Those things should always be optional.
 

L.B. Jeffries

New member
Nov 29, 2007
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The_root_of_all_evil said:
Jindrak said:
How the dear sweet Jesus do you come up with the "mounted on an obese man on a segway" metaphors? That was amazing.
Take a look at Postal 3....

I've been saying GTA London would be cool for AAAAAAAges now, but there's that fear that they'll do the most atrocious cockney accents this side of Mary Poppins.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RCZDYV_pHRk
 

BlueInkAlchemist

Ridiculously Awesome
Jun 4, 2008
2,231
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When Chinatown Wars was released, I got the feeling that taking GTA back to its top-down roots would be both a good thing and a bad thing. Good in terms of nostalgia and fun, bad in terms of current gameplay.

Yahtzee, as always, points this out with brilliance and hilarity.

"...No it really isn't." and "30 GOTO 10" were the crowning moments of awesome in this one for me. I remember Elite... *stars in eyes*