Zero Punctuation: Grand Theft Auto IV

[thahat]

Great review, but I gotta ask, Yahtzee. In your opinion, do you think the game is truly worthy of the "PERFECT 10" rating that it seems to be earning from the "professional" (see: paid to give good reviews through sponsorship) game critics? As good as the game is, I find it hard to believe that it is the flawless, end-all-be-all of gaming that every site out there is trying to get us to believe.

i might not be jahtzee but, invincible trees, licence plates that just say "[imput city name here]" and lets not start about the revenge of the brown castle aproach, put it like this, nothing should get a 10, ( that and scores by number suck anyway because nowadays EVERYTHING gets a score in the trend of 7 - 10 )

 

[alci-phil]

it wasnt yahtzee's best work,it's a lot better when he totally hates a game.
but it wasnt too bad.

 

[rebochan]

Yahtzee, why do you taunt people to spam you? Now they're really not going to shut up about Mario Kart Wii.

Unless it's a clever plot for another mailbag.

 

[Dannyboy182]

I have no disagreements to what you said, all of it pretty true, but some small advice on enjoying the game a little more... the friends do not NEED to be entertained unless your desperate for an achievement at the end for being friends with 90% of them and as soon as i bought the game i adjusted the contrast and the brightness noticing i couldn't see bugger all, other then that i love it.

 

[Lupie]

it wasnt yahtzee's best work,it's a lot better when he totally hates a game.
but it wasnt too bad.

I'd say that, too. But then, mouthy blokes flinging bile around makes me horny. So.

 

[Sylocat]

Dear Escapist Magazine,

I put up with these obnoxious eggnetwork "click this balloon to watch the video trailer" ads you toss into the actual videos because A, I can get rid of them by clicking the close ad button in the window, and B, I accept you need to make money.

However, this newest one, the stupid (not to mention completely racist, but that's another story) ad for the Pontiac Vibe, will NOT disappear when I click on the close ad button, and instead immediately expands to cover the entire video window and present me with a video of the ad. Now, once that happens, I CAN close the ad and get back to ZP, but the audio from the ad's video keeps playing over the ZP video, with no way to turn it off.

Even if I ever had any interest in the Pontiac Vibe in the first place, this would completely kill it. And while I realize that advertising agencies have no interest in creating a positive reaction to their commercials (since market research has proven that if ignorant viewers are bombarded with the ads over and over and over AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER again, they will buy the product no matter how much they dislike seeing the commercial), I thought your magazine was a little too intelligent to actually resort to this method of increasing the number of clicks the ads get.

 

[Random Yahtzee Fan]

Love that Frohman reference in the beggining xD

 

[snellface]

I second on the keep everyone happy part, the odd thing is though,
No one seems to care if you launch them 40 meters to their death from the back of your motorbike,
As long as you go pick them up at the hospital 5 minutes later, on the same bloody bike.

 

[silentsentinel]

I have a question. I've never played a Grand Theft Auto game before (So sue me. Blah.) How accessable is the new version? I mean, does it have a hard learning curve for newcomers, things like that?

 

[Melty Blood]

Fantastic review. That's another great cmpilation of marvelous critics.
I'm really nervous and can't wait for the next ZP! [Thou shall not ban me this tiem >=3]

EDIT: not =[

I find it hilarious that this guy has been banned 4 times in a row for saying first post, on every ZP for the past four weeks.

 

[Another Fan]

Hm, don't know Sentinel, Yahtzee mentioned that it takes a long, long time to get used to all the mechanics though.

Anyway, uh... I'm in the minority on this one, I guess. I found this review terribly boring, and awfully brief. Eh, obviously the formula would get old eventually, but I guess the tiny nitpicks with barely any mention of actual scope sort of didn't have that kick needed for me.

And I can't even say it is because this game is one I'm a fanboy for. I've never cared for GTA, with the fourth one sounding worth checking out, so the whole ordeal is odd, cause I sort of expected a lot of people to have been bored by this one.

Eh, am I the only one who found this one a bit eh?

 

[NezumiiroKitsune]

Hm, don't know Sentinel, Yahtzee mentioned that it takes a long, long time to get used to all the mechanics though.

Anyway, uh... I'm in the minority on this one, I guess. I found this review terribly boring, and awfully brief. Eh, obviously the formula would get old eventually, but I guess the tiny nitpicks with barely any mention of actual scope sort of didn't have that kick needed for me.

And I can't even say it is because this game is one I'm a fanboy for. I've never cared for GTA, with the fourth one sounding worth checking out, so the whole ordeal is odd, cause I sort of expected a lot of people to have been bored by this one.

Eh, am I the only one who found this one a bit eh?

Short answer: Yes

Long answer: Orangina tastes weird and yes. However no one person can answer this negatively, well I gave it my best shot.

SILENTSENTINEL: All GTAs are a game in themselves and only have loose story connections, gameplay wise, you pick it up, have learnt the controls in 30 seconds tops, and will be stealing your first car and running down old ladies in 31 seconds. Depending on your bloodlust and homocidal tendencies. As he said though, GTAIV is a little more complexified. I suppose a simple answer is, playing the previous games will have little if ANY benefit to how well you'll play any other GTA.

 

[MasterOfHisOwnDomain]

Despite despising the GTA series and all they stand for I will, through public opinion, no doubt be forced to get this one. Your review was helpful in adressing my.. fears.

 

[Stragen]

Completely awesomeness, anyone else having issues opening the movie?

 

[144_v1legacy]

Hm, don't know Sentinel, Yahtzee mentioned that it takes a long, long time to get used to all the mechanics though.

Anyway, uh... I'm in the minority on this one, I guess. I found this review terribly boring, and awfully brief. Eh, obviously the formula would get old eventually, but I guess the tiny nitpicks with barely any mention of actual scope sort of didn't have that kick needed for me.

And I can't even say it is because this game is one I'm a fanboy for. I've never cared for GTA, with the fourth one sounding worth checking out, so the whole ordeal is odd, cause I sort of expected a lot of people to have been bored by this one.

Eh, am I the only one who found this one a bit eh?

I thought it was a bit brief too, but as I watched it again it, as always, got funnier.

 

[stompy]

Hm, don't know Sentinel, Yahtzee mentioned that it takes a long, long time to get used to all the mechanics though.

Anyway, uh... I'm in the minority on this one, I guess. I found this review terribly boring, and awfully brief. Eh, obviously the formula would get old eventually, but I guess the tiny nitpicks with barely any mention of actual scope sort of didn't have that kick needed for me.

And I can't even say it is because this game is one I'm a fanboy for. I've never cared for GTA, with the fourth one sounding worth checking out, so the whole ordeal is odd, cause I sort of expected a lot of people to have been bored by this one.

Eh, am I the only one who found this one a bit eh?

I thought it was a bit brief too, but as I watched it again it, as always, got funnier.

I find that watching them a few times gets you to the jokes... Maybe I'm just a bit slow?

 

[Vinanath Diesel]

Terrific review of GTA4. I can't say am a fan of the series ...but your review had me in tears. Keep up the good work and I look forward to your review of Mario Kart Wii...let the bleating of the lambs begin. lol!

 

[gasto]

I think Croshaw got so scared about Nintendo fanboys, that he traumatized before making another true Yahtzee review, by avoiding to criticise the low-originality rate and predictability.

Nintendo fanboys can only grab a plumber's hammer and caricaturely slam's Croshaw's head. But GTA fanboys can get REALLY creative about it.

 

[UsefulPlayer 1]

I seek his points, but I can't help but love GTA4 and come to its defence. All he said were nick picks and should not stop anyone from buying the game. Btw you can fuck the friends, you dont have to ever go pick them up to go on a date if u dont want to.

I also know Ben doesn't play multiplyer, but not even a comment??? Come on, a HUGE installment to GTA was that you can roam the city with ur friends and have a blast. A a sandbox game in liberty city and with four of your friends? Years of fun right there.

And lets be honest, the police system is much improved. In GTA3 if you so much as hurt the cops or shot any body you get two stars and end up running around the city looking for stars or a sptray n pay. It was massively gay if you trying to get somewhere and have to go the other way to look for a pay n spray or for a star miles away.

I can't be the only one to realise that system was gay and didn't make it exciting as annoying.