Zero Punctuation: Grand Theft Auto Online

Evonisia

Your sinner, in secret
Jun 24, 2013
3,257
0
0
I have not been so compelled to pull a "this!" to a Zero Punctuation video since... well Grand Theft Auto V, weirdly enough. Those God awful cutscenes are nightmarish and it's not like the challenges are all that enthralling.

I wonder if the PC/Current Gen version of GTA V has that glitch that lets you in to the snow village, as doing that glitch was literally the only joy I got out of GTA Online.
 

gphjr14

New member
Aug 20, 2010
868
0
0
I bought this on midnight release and I'm just now playing heist with friends.
If you're playing with random people you'll probably spend most of your time frustrated.

My main gripe is you only have 1 fucking and I have no idea who thought this would be a good idea. There's really no reason they couldn't make it so everyone has to die at least once for the heist to fail.

I really miss GTA IV's online free mode. The entire map is available and you just pick up weapons and have fun. No leveling up bullshit just explore and kill each other.
 

ic0n67

New member
Jul 27, 2009
8
0
0
Vicioussama said:
Bah, I can't get the video to work :( tried everything in the help.
Try right clicking on where the video should be and see if you get a menu with Play as an option.
 

Leon Royce

New member
Aug 22, 2014
97
0
0
Agreed. That's why I play invite only with friends I know. Random people multi-player is shit. Always.
 

Sheo_Dagana

New member
Aug 12, 2009
966
0
0
Preeeeeetty much exactly what I expected, which is why I have and always will avoid the online mode for GTA. It just sounds like chaos, and maybe that's where some people thrive, but not I.
 

FPLOON

Your #1 Source for the Dino Porn
Jul 10, 2013
12,531
0
0
I could not stop laughing after the "voice chat" bit...

Other than that, that's a fucked up way of doing a leaderboard if it's really as bad as you're making it out to be...
 

Tohuvabohu

Not entirely serious, maybe.
Mar 24, 2011
1,001
0
0
gphjr14 said:
I bought this on midnight release and I'm just now playing heist with friends.
If you're playing with random people you'll probably spend most of your time frustrated.

My main gripe is you only have 1 fucking and I have no idea who thought this would be a good idea. There's really no reason they couldn't make it so everyone has to die at least once for the heist to fail.
I absolutely refuse to play GTA Online with randoms. Every single time I play, it's in closed friend sessions with friends only. And in those conditions, it's quite a blast. Doing heists and cooperative missions with people you can communicate effectively with and play efficiently with is the only way I'd choose to play this.

I do agree that incredibly annoying having only 1 life in those heists. Sure it's doable, but I think the game would have benefited a lot from a revive mechanic in cooperative situations, since a lot of the times the game pairs you up with someone else.

Yahtzee is right in general. If you go into the online mode by yourself with randoms, it's like diving head first into an ocean of piss.
 

Xman490

Doctorate in Danger
May 29, 2010
1,186
0
0
gphjr14 said:
I really miss GTA IV's online free mode. The entire map is available and you just pick up weapons and have fun. No leveling up bullshit just explore and kill each other.
Not to mention that usually the only way to kill other players in IV was to blow them up. That would be a viable alternative to a complicated "violent twat fumigation" (which is necessary, because I - for one - get killed all the time despite my innocence). If one wants to kill another, they should have to spend a significant $1000 per rocket. That way, random players can actually get together and take advantage of the MMO aspect by killing cops over and over again.

*sigh* I guess I'll have to rely on Passive Mode when I just want to drive around without the risk of getting decimated in a second.
 

Thanatos2k

New member
Aug 12, 2013
820
0
0
If "play online with the kind of people who play Grand Theft Auto" isn't a big enough turn off I don't know what is.
 

Kursura

New member
Apr 8, 2010
159
0
0
That end point is so true it's painful, and the reason I avoid multiplayer whenever I can. It's either play with friends or your childhood bullies.
 

Malpraxis

Trust me, I'm a Doctor.
Jul 30, 2013
138
0
0
I decided to give it a try, having bought it for next gen and all, after going through the mandatory loooong intro, I got into a 2 v 2 deathmatch where someone had music blasting and the rest sounded like they hadn't hit puberty yet. My team won (no credit to myself, the other dude got most of the kills), listened to some profanities and went free roaming on what I assume was my car to the clothing shop. My car exploded. I respawned and walked determined to buy some new clothes. After dying for the third time, I decided multiplayer wasn't for me.

Can't say what they see in it, because a lot of people play it and even spend real money on it, but I never got a chance to get into it. From this review I see I wasn't missing much.
 

Darth_Payn

New member
Aug 5, 2009
2,868
0
0
It's frustrating for anyone to play it if they can't communicate with their teammates. My brother played a prison break one, and the last bit had him, his team, and the "package" in a plane flying VERY long towards a spot on the beach, and he kept yelling at the screen for the pilot to stop sucking at what they're doing.