Zero Punctuation: Remastered Editions

JayDeth

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Dec 18, 2009
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Remaster the Master

EDIT: Also, it was really hard not use THAT word. >.> Now I finally understand the feels when other people do it.
 

ZZoMBiE13

Ate My Neighbors
Oct 10, 2007
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Remastering has become a full blown crutch this gen. It seems like developers didn't expect people would buy a PS4 or Xbox One and didn't bother to start any projects until after they released in 2013. It's like "Quick, we need SOMETHING... hey up-res Batman Arkham and shove it onto the store!".

Still, some games are worth a second run through. I didn't realize Parrappa had been redone. I may need to pick that up.

Also, I'm no book critic but Yahtzee's "Will Save the Galaxy for Food" is a fun read. Highly Recommend!
 

Geisterkarle

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Dec 27, 2010
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I'm already looking forward to the release and Yahtzees review of the "remaster" of Final Fantasy 7!
 

Callate

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Dec 5, 2008
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Oh, I so want to see someone re-master E.T. now. Preferably someone with nothing to do with Atari. And then when whatever shell company is currently wearing Atari's rotting corpse-skin tries to challenge the move in court, they just say, "Seriously? You're claiming ownership of E.T. for the Atari 2600?"
 

darkrage6

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May 11, 2016
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ZZoMBiE13 said:
Remastering has become a full blown crutch this gen. It seems like developers didn't expect people would buy a PS4 or Xbox One and didn't bother to start any projects until after they released in 2013. It's like "Quick, we need SOMETHING... hey up-res Batman Arkham and shove it onto the store!".

Still, some games are worth a second run through. I didn't realize Parrappa had been redone. I may need to pick that up.

Also, I'm no book critic but Yahtzee's "Will Save the Galaxy for Food" is a fun read. Highly Recommend!
From what I heard, the reason Square Enix did so many remasters was because they thought consoles were over and done with in 2013 and so they were planning on making their big games PC exclusives, but they were completely caught off-guard by the successes of the PS4 and Xbox One. At least that's according to what Jim Sterling found out from talking to people at Square Enix.
 

RJ 17

The Sound of Silence
Nov 27, 2011
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Is Stage 5 the one where you're waiting in line to use the bathroom and you lose when you literally shit your pants? If so, then yeah, that's the one that me and my friend could never get passed when we were kids. Indeed, the game seems to arbitrarily decide when it wants to say "you hit the button right when you were supposed to."
 

TheScorpion

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Feb 24, 2016
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Wait, Voodoo Vince was remastered?!

Sweet I always wanted to play that one, It's just that I never got the proper chance. Now to add it onto my Steam wishlist.
 

Dornedas

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Oct 9, 2014
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Pff this meagre selection is not even everything.
They even remade/remastered Sonny.
Yup they put the remaster of an old flash game on Steam. And it's not exactly glorious.
 

Darth_Payn

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Aug 5, 2009
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Huh. Weird to hear Yahtzee say he had a problem with Planescape [HURK!] Torment. I might want to get the old LucasArts adventure games on Steam, since the original discs we had at my house up and vanished.
I wonder if the remastered the original Deus Ex. I already have the GotY edition.
 

Johnny Novgorod

Bebop Man
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Apr 10, 2020
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Wonder if he's finally going to play Vanquish now that it's getting a PC port?
 

Devieus

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Jul 30, 2014
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It seems like remasters are basically the games that games could've been if they weren't also for consoles; Bioshock 1+2, Skyrim, Darksiders 1+2, Metro 2033+2, Call of Duty 4, possibly some others, and more if you count other generations.

Though I'm not sure what Titan Quest is all about, sometimes a remaster can be avoided easily with just an update.
 

bjj hero

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Feb 4, 2009
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Sqeenix need to pull their thumbs out and remake Vagrant Story from the PSX. It is the best thing they have made IMO. The atmosphere was amazing.
 

Petromir

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Apr 10, 2010
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ZZoMBiE13 said:
Remastering has become a full blown crutch this gen. It seems like developers didn't expect people would buy a PS4 or Xbox One and didn't bother to start any projects until after they released in 2013. It's like "Quick, we need SOMETHING... hey up-res Batman Arkham and shove it onto the store!".

Still, some games are worth a second run through. I didn't realize Parrappa had been redone. I may need to pick that up.

Also, I'm no book critic but Yahtzee's "Will Save the Galaxy for Food" is a fun read. Highly Recommend!
There's still a moderate stream of new games to be fair.

A much stronger reason is they are seen as easy money, they are usually cheap to make and sell enough to make a tidy profit as they were so cheap to make. And with Backwards compatibility being much rarer these days there's extra reasons for publishers to do it. New games (even with an off the shelf engine) tend to cost much more, and often fail to make proportionally as much money.
 

Miral

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Jun 6, 2008
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Planescape and The Dig were both great games, although it's true that the first is mostly a novel (Yahtzee, you're a book author, you shouldn't be dissing novels) and the latter suffered from a bit of Moon Logic Puzzle Syndrome (although that's not entirely inappropriate, given that most of the game was set on a moon).
 

4Aces

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May 29, 2012
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Next phase, rebooting the remaster. We are becoming the shoggoth of our own demise.
 

metamorphosis18

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Apr 14, 2009
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He forgot to mention the Painkiller remaster, which was Painkiller with half the levels stripped out, a desaturation filter applied, and the cool end boss replaced with a shite one.
 

Onliuge

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Aug 9, 2012
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Of course Halo isn't a 'Retro' game, I can't believe someone would think so...







It's an 'old-school' game.