Zero Punctuation: Resident Evil 5

[Judithia]

Having been playing video games since the pinball era I've got to say, "WTF do you people expect out of "A.I." in video games?" I definitely went in expecting it to be way, way worse than it is. PS3 version here and Sheva seems positively amazing at times. She combines Herbs, has two different attack patterns based on whether you put her into Combat or Cover mode. Navigates 99% of the game with great ease even when terrain is changing around and monsters and populating everywhere. Always saves you if you remember to hit the button. In my games she heals you only when she or you are getting rather low on health. Is it immaculate perfection of a cloned version of yourself obeying your every whim telepathically? No, and it's never going to be so.

Is it possible that the PS3 version AI is just amazingly better?

As for personality and character, Sheva is the least annoying female character in a video game to my recent memory. Her voice acting isn't overblown and her dialogue is mostly supportive without tons of B.S. snobby one-ups-manship quips and/or tied to a chair orgasm squeals and moans in lieu of real dialogue. Really only the, "You can't be serious..." line when she can't path back to you is about the only annoying thing she says and it's way less disturbing than Ashley asking Leon for some "Overtime."

Gameplay is rather changed up from RE4 if you bother to explore it. Lots of melee attacks to perform rather than the Kick and Suplex only. Limited carrying space is a throw back to RE1 IMO and should have at least offered the RE4 option of expanding your "attache" case through purchasable upgrades. RE1, 2, 3 and Code Veronica were great and fun games at the time but I don't know if folks could handle them now if we have people complaining about "can't walk sideways" or "can't move and aim" in this game. RE5 lets you quick turn, dodge with button combos, save each other, melee enemies... and yes you can strafe if you let go of the run button by the way, yet somehow it's not enough. This isn't Tomb Raider folks! Okay this is a bit of a potpourri paragraph but Capcom has to try some different gameplay or else they'll get slapped with the, "you didn't change anything!!" stick, damned if they do/don't yadda yadda.

Yahtzee's review is very funny and well done, as always, but I feel he either is willfully ignoring solutions or opting to ridicule the solutions presented. Some stuff is dead on, eggs taking up inventory, unable to simple snarf recovery items instead of passing them around and equipping them laboriously, armor inside of armor etc. Unfortunately I feel he is a bit off the mark on Sheva and folks are reading racism into things pretty much at their leisure rather than with any thought. Like 987987987 people before me have mentioned, the tribal village part was explained in game and seemed wholly appropriate in the progression of the story thus far at that point.

In summation, I'm not sure if Yahtzee was "lazy" at the gameplay part of this review or decided to be "lazy" in the review part. Was he not paying enough attention while playing the game and thus missed some really obvious solutions and explanations or did he discard these solutions and explanations in order to get to "teh funny" of the review? Some reviews you can tell he really hates the games and could care less and these are generally very brutal and funny reviews. Some though you can tell he actually was a bit fond of the game and thus is laboring a bit to do his "duty" and be "that mean Yahtzee reviewer guy" and slam the title. Some throw away lines in this review like, "chris sandich" and the knocks on early titles make me think this is another review where he either liked, or wanted to like and was a bit disappointed by, RE5. Excellent "that mean Yahtzee reviewer guy" review, mechanically, but I feel he had to, either willfully or not, feign(?) ignorance of some things to get himself and the review where it needed to be to match expectations.

Finally, some one who isn't blinded by fanboyism

 

[Metalrocks]

I've played 5, and the biggest problem (which I was amazed yahtzee didn't mention) was the controls. I absolutely hated them. Whose decision was it to require the player to hold down two buttons at once to fire? Every time I got surprised by another sneaky zombie, I found myself yanking impotently on the right trigger and pleading with the muscly TV man to shoot his goddamn gun.

i agree with you there. its a fucking third person shooter. not like the old RE parts. it sure was abit a pain in the ass (should have done it like in dino crisis) at some stages but it worked.
if i would have been able to strafe in RE 4, i could have liked the game in a way. i lost counting, so many times i have died because of no strafing.

 

[Gennabear]

I agree with the end!! Where is the arms dealer?? He was hands down my favorite of RE4. His loss saddens me. And after watching my friend play thru the first time, you pretty much quoted him word fer word on Sheva. I laughed my ass off.

 

[RelexCryo]

I agree with the following:

I hate the AI's stupdity.

The inventory system is stupid. a white egg takes up as much space as the GATLING GUN( a weapon specific to Chris, much bigger than assault rifle)? SERIOUSLY!?

I hate how they removed the ninja/pirate merchant dude. Now I apparently sell my treasure on ebay.

Armor takes up a slot? it is stored in a pocket of my armor? (well phrased Yahtzee!) WHAT THE HELL!?

(Spoiler!!!!!!)

I hate how unrealistic many of the guns are. The MP5 has penetration and the Sig 556 doesn't? What the hell? and why does the Smith and Wessson Model 29 hold more ammo than a desert eagle? In real life, the eagle is better at spraying ammo. the Eagles' special upgrade should have been rate of fire, not piercing. Piercing should have gone to the M29-it has a longer barrel and more acceleration.


However, I love:


You can make any gun infinite ammo. YAY!!! Not just a few guns, but any gun you like. I liked how the Broken Butterfly had a nice rate of fire, better than the handcannon, and often wished I could get infinite ammo for it. Sigh.

I love how they added a Smith and Wesson 500 to this game. My favorite gun in RL. Ironic, since I wanted to see more of the Broken Butterfly last game.

It takes fairly long to get a gun the infinite ammo upgrade...but not too long. So it feels like an accomplishment, but doesn't take forever. Nicely done

Being able to buy ammo for a gun- even if it's only the grenade launcher- is a good decision.

I can store items outside my inventory in a between-missions safe deposit box. WONDERFUL DECISION.



(END SPOILER)

Ultimately I thought the game was worth it. Still, I hate the steps taken backwards.

 

[Judithia]

I've played 5, and the biggest problem (which I was amazed yahtzee didn't mention) was the controls. I absolutely hated them. Whose decision was it to require the player to hold down two buttons at once to fire? Every time I got surprised by another sneaky zombie, I found myself yanking impotently on the right trigger and pleading with the muscly TV man to shoot his goddamn gun.

i agree with you there. its a fucking third person shooter. not like the old RE parts. it sure was abit a pain in the ass (should have done it like in dino crisis) at some stages but it worked.
if i would have been able to strafe in RE 4, i could have liked the game in a way. i lost counting, so many times i have died because of no strafing.

HAHAHAHAHAHA OH WOW!

You silly trolls.

 

[GojiraX]

I'm surprised Yahtzee never mentions the controls. That's one of the top three complaints made by people who are too easily annoyed.

 

[The Sadist]

I love "Carrying your own armor in the pocket of your own armor"

 

[Judithia]

But when people start associating personalities with races (ie, "acting black") then that is racism and there are not enough hours in the day for that bullshit.

there are not enough hours in the day for that bullshit.

So there needs to be more hours in the day for racism?

That's what your saying?

Nice one.

 

[Eipok Kruden]

It's "Cliff's Notes."

Who is this "Cliff" and why does he have notes? He doesn't exist which means he can't have notes. Yahtzee is correct. It's "cliff notes," not "Cliff's Notes." Stop trying to be smart and correcting people because you suck at it.

 

[GeneralTrivium]

OH GOD,

I laughed SO hard at the armour thing!

*Watches it again*

 

[Judithia]

Well thats my enthusiasm for this game crushed. So far the only really worthwile game to sow up this year has been downloadable.

You must try really hard to hate games.

That or your nostalgia goggles are on far too tight

The games in question are Flower, Lumines Supernova, Noby Noby Boy, and Savage Moon. I don't ask much of games. Besides, if I had nostalgia goggles I would have liked Street fighter IV. I have no nostalgia goggles to speak of.

So you didn't enjoy

Killzone 2
Madworld
Persona 4
Skate 2

Whats not to like about Street Fighter IV?

Whats to like about it? No, I didn't like Killzone 2 or Skate 2, My Ps2 died on me and I need a new one, and Madworld sounded kind of bland the day SCE Studios Santa Monica told me of their Zipper technology, and no-ones been able to tell me a strength beyond the gore.

Strengths include being the only good beat 'em up since god hand.

That and a great stylized art direction.

There are heaps of games that are good, stop trying so hard to hate them all.

 

[DeeperShade]

Good review, not as heavy on the laughs as some of the others, but I can't honestly disagree with a single thing mentioned in this review.

 

[Roffey123]

It is, suprisingly, possible to hate an element of the game but like the game itself?

OK, you've got me there... I guess I'm too picky. Or maybe I'm just stupid and missing out on some good games. Maybe if I play counter-strike for another 10 years I'll start getting good at it...

Hey I'm not saying that the problems don't exist or that you should force yourself to like any game. If you don't like it you don't like it, that's why there's supposedly a variety of choice in games libraries - tis the choice of it all etc etc

 

[FROGGEman2]

Really funny. I swear, I am obsessed with you.
Do you think an episode entirely made up of PSStore and XBLA reviews would be good? because I do.

 

[Judithia]

Well thats my enthusiasm for this game crushed. So far the only really worthwile game to sow up this year has been downloadable.

You must try really hard to hate games.

That or your nostalgia goggles are on far too tight

The games in question are Flower, Lumines Supernova, Noby Noby Boy, and Savage Moon. I don't ask much of games. Besides, if I had nostalgia goggles I would have liked Street fighter IV. I have no nostalgia goggles to speak of.

So you didn't enjoy

Killzone 2
Madworld
Persona 4
Skate 2

Whats not to like about Street Fighter IV?

Whats to like about it? No, I didn't like Killzone 2 or Skate 2, My Ps2 died on me and I need a new one, and Madworld sounded kind of bland the day SCE Studios Santa Monica told me of their Zipper technology, and no-ones been able to tell me a strength beyond the gore.

Strengths include being the only good beat 'em up since god hand.

That and a great stylized art direction.

There are heaps of games that are good, stop trying so hard to hate them all.

I'm not - I said I've really enjoyed Flower, Savage Moon and Noby Noby Boy. My highlights from last year include MGS4, Resistance 2, Valkyria Chronicles and LittleBigPlanet. I just haven't found anything released in disc form that I especially liked since January 1st.

And I'm not exactly weaping with joy over the next big beat-em-up. I'm more into a pair of good ol' blades, attached to the most awesome character in gaming ever, and some of the best gameplay, level design, mechanics and just all around godliness ever seen.

Jesus Christ fanboys...

Well i will leave you be then.

Enjoy your man.. alone

 

[Monkei]

Do I recognise the hooker's proposition from the Sandman Comic book?

 

[Metalrocks]

I've played 5, and the biggest problem (which I was amazed yahtzee didn't mention) was the controls. I absolutely hated them. Whose decision was it to require the player to hold down two buttons at once to fire? Every time I got surprised by another sneaky zombie, I found myself yanking impotently on the right trigger and pleading with the muscly TV man to shoot his goddamn gun.

i agree with you there. its a fucking third person shooter. not like the old RE parts. it sure was abit a pain in the ass (should have done it like in dino crisis) at some stages but it worked.
if i would have been able to strafe in RE 4, i could have liked the game in a way. i lost counting, so many times i have died because of no strafing.

HAHAHAHAHAHA OH WOW!

You silly trolls.

so you think the controls are good? would you play max payne with no strafing?

 

[Stewie Plisken]

Having been playing video games since the pinball era I've got to say, "WTF do you people expect out of "A.I." in video games?"

Wait, really? We're making excuses now based on... expectations? Here's the thing: if the technology isn't quite there yet, or if the AI programmer is wasted when he's working on the damn thing and the AI makes you want to toss the game off the nearest cliff, it's kind of a moot point adding it at all. It's great you could cope with it, apparently it got in the way for plenty other people.

This isn't an evaluation for technical achievement; it's a game. When the fun goes out of the window, what's the point?

Finally, some one who isn't blinded by fanboyism

Oh, the irony!

HAHAHAHAHAHA OH WOW!

You silly trolls.

Oh, the irony!

Jesus Christ fanboys...

Well i will leave you be then.

Enjoy your man.. alone

OH, the irony!

Do I recognise the hooker's proposition from the Sandman Comic book?

Not really [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_the_Ripper]

 

[Judithia]

I've played 5, and the biggest problem (which I was amazed yahtzee didn't mention) was the controls. I absolutely hated them. Whose decision was it to require the player to hold down two buttons at once to fire? Every time I got surprised by another sneaky zombie, I found myself yanking impotently on the right trigger and pleading with the muscly TV man to shoot his goddamn gun.

i agree with you there. its a fucking third person shooter. not like the old RE parts. it sure was abit a pain in the ass (should have done it like in dino crisis) at some stages but it worked.
if i would have been able to strafe in RE 4, i could have liked the game in a way. i lost counting, so many times i have died because of no strafing.

HAHAHAHAHAHA OH WOW!

You silly trolls.

so you think the controls are good? would you play max payne with no strafing?

That's like saying would you play chess with out extra lives.

What has Max Payne got to do with Resident Evil in the slightest?
Resident evil has always been 'stationary' to shoot, it adds to the tension.
Do you really think all the resident evil games so far would have scored fantastically and been such a huge hit if people wanted strafing?

Its like the difference between a FPS like Call of Duty and Age of Empires.

Having been playing video games since the pinball era I've got to say, "WTF do you people expect out of "A.I." in video games?"

Wait, really? We're making excuses now based on... expectations? Here's the thing: if the technology isn't quite there yet, or if the AI programmer is wasted when he's working on the damn thing and the AI makes you want to toss the game off the nearest cliff, it's kind of a moot point adding it at all. It's great you could cope with it, apparently it got in the way for plenty other people.

This isn't an evaluation for technical achievement; it's a game. When the fun goes out of the window, what's the point?

Finally, some one who isn't blinded by fanboyism

Oh, the irony!

HAHAHAHAHAHA OH WOW!

You silly trolls.

Oh, the irony!

Jesus Christ fanboys...

Well i will leave you be then.

Enjoy your man.. alone

OH, the irony!

Do I recognise the hooker's proposition from the Sandman Comic book?

Not really [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_the_Ripper]

Congratulations on failing to make a point what so ever.

0/10 would snore again.

 

[MercurySteam]

"Capcom aren't bad people there just idiots"

I have now got the impression that any game made by Capcom is going to EPICLY FAIL unless some other brilliant company comes along and buys the rights from them before they can fuck it up. I played the RE5 demo, and it REALLY pissed me off, so i cant imagine how pissed off i'd be if i'd actually bought the game. Both Capcom's name and logo makes them look like they should still be creating games for the PS1. If a company like Epic Games for example, came along, games like RE5 and Lost Planet would be much more sucessful. I just don't think Capcom is cut out to make horror or shooter games.