Zero Punctuation: Sacred 3 - Nothing Is Sacred

Evonisia

Your sinner, in secret
Jun 24, 2013
3,257
0
0
That ending had me going for a minute there, thank Christ the credits elaborated.

So this is the Sonic Unleashed to Ride to Hell's Too Human, got it. The grind sounds worse than last week's MMO, too, how depressing.
 

CelestDaer

New member
Mar 25, 2013
245
0
0
The only thing I came in to comment on, is, I'm pretty sure the plural of Ride to Hell is Ride to Hells, since Ride to Hell is a whole thought...
 

geier

New member
Oct 15, 2010
250
0
0
Ahhh.... Sacred. I bought the GOG version a while back. I remembered that i played this game quite a lot in my youth, but never finished it. After 3 days i knew why: The game is f#####g tedious and i had every right to forget it. I will not even speak about part 2. Seems like part 3 is just as bad.
Why do they keep making these?
 

LenticularHomicide

New member
Oct 24, 2013
127
0
0
In this week's review of Sacred 3, Yahtzee reaches for the really low-hanging fruit that even Jim Sterling felt he had to lampshade in order to get past his YouTube audience: the joke "Nothing Is Sacred...3"

[small]Not that there's anything wrong with that.[/small]

IMO, the writers of this game can't even touch Joss Whedon, and it's a shame that his name has become shorthand for "quippy dialogue of a nature generally associated with '90s teenagers". They're not even in the same galactic quadrant. And the game's voice acting really is eye-wateringly terrible (except the Big Bad; he's deliciously hammy).

Speaking of the '90s: Johnny Fartknocker. Heh heh heh / A-huh huh huh.
 

Thanatos2k

New member
Aug 12, 2013
820
0
0
This game is a sad disgrace. Not only is it nothing like the games that it is pretending to be a sequel of, but the publisher Deep Silver did an intentional bait and switch to fleece fans out of money.

They had a review embargo in place, and then actually released the game early without telling anyone and without changing the embargo date deliberately so fans of the series who preordered it would be charged before the reviews came out unmasking this pretender. I'm not sure I've ever seen a company pull that kind of garbage before.
 

PunkRex

New member
Feb 19, 2010
2,533
0
0
Soooooo... didn't like it then.... damn, that was like watching a crucifixion.
 

mmiki

New member
Mar 1, 2013
49
0
0
Damn, I haven't seen Yahtzee so pissed off at a game that he didn't make a penis joke in a long time.
 

Thaluikhain

Elite Member
Legacy
Apr 4, 2020
14,933
764
118
Silentpony said:
Not just that, but they all(or at least the majority) sound the exact same. I think Yatzhee even said as much at a Con once; that for most of the characters, the dialogue is interchangeable while keeping all of them in character. Its the same personality spread amongst 8-10 characters.
I remember him saying that on an online vid he recorded with a Whedon fan. A third person had to step in because things weren't going to go well after that,

(Also really, really not a Whedon fan)
 

GloatingSwine

New member
Nov 10, 2007
4,544
0
0
Sacred 3 being rubbish isn't exactly a surprise. Sacred 2 was, lets face it, a bit rubbish. But Sacred 2 was ambitious and quirky rubbish which was largely rubbish because it put far more effort into content (utterly fuckloads thereof, game is hueg) than polish (something of a hallmark of Ascaron games). (Sacred 3 is a different developer though).

It also was a Diablo-em-up in period where we were starved for good Diablo, with Titan Quest being its only real competition, so a slightly rubbish Diablo was the best we were going to get.
 

Kenjitsuka

New member
Sep 10, 2009
3,051
0
0
Well THAT really sucks!
Part one was highly innivative and part 2 on 360 was great fun with local-couch co-op no less!
So cathering even more to an online experience? I don't think that was the problem... :(
 

DarkhoIlow

New member
Dec 31, 2009
2,531
0
0
They completely ruined the Sacred name..I hope it just goes and dies and it never returns.

I will still remember the first one being one of the best post Diablo II clones that I have played alongside Titan Quest.
 

Darth_Payn

New member
Aug 5, 2009
2,868
0
0
I completely forgot Sacred was a series until Yahtzee reviewed this dreck. And Yahtzee's at his best when he lets the hate flow.
Speaking of Yahtzee, Harley Quinn uses that from time to time in the latest DC Animated Feature about Suicide Squad. One instance will really make you laugh your ass off.
LenticularHomicide said:
IMO, the writers of this game can't even touch Joss Whedon, and it's a shame that his name has become shorthand for "quippy dialogue of a nature generally associated with '90s teenagers". They're not even in the same galactic quadrant. And the game's voice acting really is eye-wateringly terrible (except the Big Bad; he's deliciously hammy).

Speaking of the '90s: Johnny Fartknocker. Heh heh heh / A-huh huh huh.
That was my first thought, with Beavis and Butt-head. Well done, sir or madam.

Boy. Yahtzee REALLY hates him some Whedon. I can see his point, if every main character sounds like a sarcastic teenager. He wrote The Avengers, but the most Whedon-esque dialogue I can recall was from Iron Man. But we'll give him a pass because he's Tony Goddamned Stark played by Robert Fucking Downey, Jr.
Well, there was that one line from Bruce Banner when he's brought to the Hellicarrier and finds that it flies.
 

Muspelheim

New member
Apr 7, 2011
2,023
0
0
Thunderous Cacophony said:
Muspelheim said:
One day, those faithful to the written word shall rise again. One day. Be afraid, producers and marketers! Be afraid!

No lords, no masters, no adverbs in dialogue atributations!
And they will rise up and say, "We are going to write good dialogue and engaging characters, melded with a coherent and moving plot!"

And the producers will look down and say, "We actually did that stuff at a roundtable Monday morning, so we're not going to hire you. Have fun trying to flog your script to someone who gives a damn, we've got a steady stream of 'good enough' to crank out to meet our quarterly projections."
"You...! You shall burn for this!", said the disgraced lead writer, and marched with his flock to the lands of Woodlands Behind the Office.

There, they remained. The few indie titles fashioned from string and leaf was enough to provide a small but steady income for the future war effort. While their war drums and keyboard clatter still promise "One day, one day, one day."

The producers were too busy defending the paralyzing electrical shocks caused by their games as a feature to take note.
 

LoneWolf83

New member
Apr 8, 2014
37
0
0
As an armature writer I have to say: Yatzee is dead on when it comes to writing. It's not easy to write,you have to have something to write and coming up with that can be hard. There have been times when I'd get an idea and have a 2 or 3 page story done in an hour and there have been times when I looked at my keyboard trying to come up with something and getting nothing. Even when you get something you have to make sure it's good, you can't just write something down and expect it to be good. If it can be good most of the time it will take editing and rewrites. It's not fucking easy.
 

Sergey Sund

New member
May 20, 2012
88
0
0
Much Whedon-hate in this comment section.
This game is different from Whedon in that I find Whedon's sarcastic quips more intelligent and .... sarcastier? Sacred 3 goes for the most common-denominator come-backs there are. I didn't even notice it was sarcasm because it was so flat.
I played the thing on 360 with a friend - the supposed best way, since everything can be funny when you play it with friends. I was still disappointed. Two hours in (or so) it became really tedious and repetitive.
The lack of loot makes it uninteresting to fight - fight is all there is - presto, uninteresting game.
The only time me and my friend laughed was once, when my collegue sellected a sexist ability/power-character/whatever and I played as the female angel-swordfighter:
The comments were so blatantly sexist that it caused us to laugh in a WTF manner. "Cupcake"? Really?
After that, the same stock remarks were triggered by every powered-up attack, so even that became tedious, even annoying.
Do not buy.
 

Frostbite3789

New member
Jul 12, 2010
1,778
0
0
I always thought about picking up Sacred 2, always seeing it pop up on Steam. Then never did. Kinda glad I didn't, at this juncture I guess.

Also, I greatly enjoyed the use of the SA Smuggo smiley in there. 10/10
 

Sotanaht

New member
Mar 6, 2008
70
0
0
Finally a "fair" review for sacred 3.

Yeah, it's not a good game, but I'm sick of everyone just moaning about it not being sacred 2 (which was also shit btw) and forgetting to give it credit for why exactly it is shit and what few things it actually does passingly well.

I do want to point out about the map screen that you can attempt to tackle levels out of order (skipping ahead). Weapons are gained by completing specific missions, not leveling up, and it is very possible to complete a mission 2 or 3 levels above you. I also appreciate that the game managed to include seemless LOCAL coop even on the PC version, even if I'll never actually play it because the game was pretty shitty anyway.
 

JaceArveduin

New member
Mar 14, 2011
1,952
0
0
Sotanaht said:
Finally a "fair" review for sacred 3.

Yeah, it's not a good game, but I'm sick of everyone just moaning about it not being sacred 2 (which was also shit btw) and forgetting to give it credit for why exactly it is shit and what few things it actually does passingly well.

I do want to point out about the map screen that you can attempt to tackle levels out of order (skipping ahead). Weapons are gained by completing specific missions, not leveling up, and it is very possible to complete a mission 2 or 3 levels above you. I also appreciate that the game managed to include seemless LOCAL coop even on the PC version, even if I'll never actually play it because the game was pretty shitty anyway.
Hey now, Sacred 2 had one good part in it!
Though, even then, they sorta derped the animations at bits :p

Come to think of it, I haven't actually played a Sacred game...
 

andersgeek

New member
Jul 6, 2010
126
0
0
Wow, the Whedon hate is strong in this one. And you guys got it wrong: Not Whedon is the problem; it's the imitators who hear his genuinely funny dialogue, try to reproduce it, and happen to match, at best, only half of its wittiness.
Would you blame other hack-and-slashers/brawlers for Sacred 3 being shit? Thought not.
 

PapstJL4U

New member
Jan 10, 2012
30
0
0
german here. We can do comedy. We really can! Trust me. Sacred 1 and 2 had it's fair share of okay self-ironie.....in the german version. :/
So far S3 is from a completely different studio and has nothing to do with S1/2 beside the Seraphine. Germans can do video games...really we can.


I am sorry. :(