Zero Punctuation: Tales of Monkey Island

Alzabane

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May 30, 2009
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theultimateend said:
dunnace said:
williebaz said:
keep reviewing all these minor XBLA games.
It's a PC game. And a Wii game. Well, more a cruel taunting joke to the Wii, trying to play it on the Wii is akin to playing Half Life 2 on a laptop, technically it's going to work, but you won't enjoy it and the experience will be forever ruined for you.
Until you own basically any laptop that has a 500 dollar price point or higher in which case you'll be playing HL2 at full specs.

I was astounded at the fact that HL2 can run on my laptop in its full sexy glory.

At any rate I loved the review and I thought the accent and domestic abuse jokes were hilarious (but when aren't they).
ha my lap tops a gran din pounds, it works great though all PC games will run great on a laptop if it's powerful enough
 

Vorpals

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This was the only review in a while to make me burst out laughing thanks to the accent and jokes.

Good job!
 

dantheman931

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Dalisclock said:
Besides, 7 days a skeptic was pretty crappy, but Tribly Notes and 6 days a Sacrifice were awesome.
I hadn't even thought of that. I wonder if Yahtzee would appreciate the irony in decrying sequels when he himself made three of them to a game that otherwise stands up perfectly well on its own. Agreed, 7DAS does play an important role in the overall series, but he didn't know that would be the case when he made it; he readily admits that all the Chzo stuff came later. In fact, it was a totally separate idea that he reworked so that it could fit in the John DeFoe framework. So 7DAS is, in the end, an unnecessary sequel, and its only saving grace is that it became relevant after the fact. (Am I making any sense, or am I talking strictly out my ass? Wouldn't be the first time...)
 

BobisOnlyBob

is Only Bob
Nov 29, 2007
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dantheman931 said:
Dalisclock said:
Besides, 7 days a skeptic was pretty crappy, but Tribly Notes and 6 days a Sacrifice were awesome.
I hadn't even thought of that. I wonder if Yahtzee would appreciate the irony in decrying sequels when he himself made three of them to a game that otherwise stands up perfectly well on its own. Agreed, 7DAS does play an important role in the overall series, but he didn't know that would be the case when he made it; he readily admits that all the Chzo stuff came later. In fact, it was a totally separate idea that he reworked so that it could fit in the John DeFoe framework. So 7DAS is, in the end, an unnecessary sequel, and its only saving grace is that it became relevant after the fact. (Am I making any sense, or am I talking strictly out my ass? Wouldn't be the first time...)
Agreed. 7DAS is a pile of crap inbetween the genius of 5DAS, and I'm amazed he then summoned up the courage to make Trilby's Notes and 6DAS. The last is definitely a return to form; Notes, while excellent in its own right, spends far too much time re-assembling the disembowelled guts of Silent Hill.
 

Ohlookit'sMatty

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Sep 11, 2008
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On behalf of the Irish people (of which I am one) never do that accent again // I've never played the Monkey Island games but I do know of them and it is on my 'to do list' of games that I will one day get around to playin

-M
 
Sep 7, 2009
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Yahtzee, i couldn't have said it myself I loved one and two. But three was like raping an aligator and four was worse, i was hoping five would make up for it, but apparently no! I am a little younger than you, so when i played monkey Island it came on a cd with 1 and 2 and the inv. had been changed to the same as two. So i want that version back. But i lost it when about 12, because i was being a pre-teen wanker., why can't I download off this website. I like to listen to your reviews over and over wile editting my movies or attempting to make games. Just because I wlike to remind myself there's atleast to people on the earth with a fucking brain. Btw. i had a youtube show, audio only, but i stopped, because I'm fucking lazy. Anyway. If you ever want to watch it, my youtube account is thefanboyadam any way bye. Adam. p.s. yes i realise the irony of my name.(I was trying to be witty, but wrote "dices" instead of die. Fuck it.
 

SlightDelirium

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Aug 4, 2009
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I'd be willing to pay cold hard American cash for you to stand in my living room and ramble in that faux Irish accent, sir.
 

chiefohara

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siddif said:
chiefohara said:
I registered to write this.

I enjoy your stuff ZP, but the oirish wife beating protestant killing thing you came out with this week was dire, unoriginal and quite frankly offensive.

This sectarian steryotyped drivel you spewed today owed more to you stealing crap ideas from things like family guy and the shite 'leprechaun' movies than anything even approaching wit or orignal humour which you are supposed to be renowned for.

I could lecture you on this but i won't.

To be honest im just disapointed, your a funny, witty and original guy but this week for some reason you just decided to give yourself a brain fart and rely on the lowest common demoninator type of humour to piss away this weeks review.

Any genuine Irish people who has vindicated or made excuses for this particular review quite frankly deserves a bloody slap.

I'll be back next week to see your next review, and like 99% of the rest of your stuff im sure i'll enjoy it, but seriously... and i mean this criticism in the most constructive way possible, your good enough not to need to rely on cliche'd steryotyped shite to get the message across.

After looking at this review all i can honestly say is 'Your better than this'
If you cant laugh at yourself then you do not have the right to mock others in the future, im Irish and laughed all the way through im also a Wii player and laugh at all the jokes he makes on Wii Sports Resort or Mario Galaxy.
Okay... no offence but why is it people can't seem to be able to read plain bloody english?

The reason i didn't laugh is because.....

"I enjoy your stuff ZP, but the oirish wife beating protestant killing thing you came out with this week was ((((dire, unoriginal and quite frankly offensive)))"

Why the hell would i laugh at a joke thats been made a hundred million times before? By a million other arseholes? Saying 'Potatoes' doesn't become any funnier just because its ZP saying it. The stupid red beard and green hat doesn't become even wittier or less unoriginal just because its ZP's atavar thats wearing it instead of the simpsons, or family guy etc. etc. etc.

Every cliche'd stereotype he threw in there has been done to death by a million other people on a million different mediums. It was like we had a highlight reel of every stupid irish joke ever made by other comedians being told today by ZP, and it's material that most people have already seen a million times before. It wasn't funny because it wasn't original.

Im well capable of laughing at myself.... but jesus... Jokes do get old you know! And the 'faith begorrah' crap is so old and stagnant by this stage that its just not bloody funny anymore no matter who's telling the joke. It's been done to death.

ZP is usually funny and original, this week he wasn't. Like it or not thats a fact.

I like the guy, i like his work. Hence me giving enough of a damn to register and write in offering what i considered to be constructive criticism.

As for what you said about not taking it personally because you also own a Wii... ZP's irritation with the Wii is a joke ZP's created himself. Its funny because its original, no one else i've seen has this venomous hatred towards the thing, just ZP. However ZP ripping off sterotyped cliche's about the irish isn't funny because there was absolutely nothing original about it. Everyone's done that already.
 

Blueberries

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Aug 20, 2008
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letsnoobtehpwns said:
"IT could have saved me time that I could have used to beat my wife" So true!
I can't believe that Yahtzee doesn't like whiskey! Whiskey is one of my favorite alcoholic drinks. Maybe that's just because I'm American.
What the fuck? You couldnt be more offensive if you tried you American ****. Well, could i expect much less? Also, what you call whiskey could be used to clean drains, Bourbon is piss, i dont care if im banned for ths, ill just be certain to take you down also. Other than that the irish parody was well done, though using a southern accent and mentioning the trouble we have in the north, Ian Paisley refernece, was a little strange.
 

letsnoobtehpwns

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Kikou-Shou said:
letsnoobtehpwns said:
"IT could have saved me time that I could have used to beat my wife" So true!
I can't believe that Yahtzee doesn't like whiskey! Whiskey is one of my favorite alcoholic drinks. Maybe that's just because I'm American.
What the fuck? You couldnt be more offensive if you tried you American ****. Well, could i expect much less? Also, what you call whiskey could be used to clean drains, Bourbon is piss, i dont care if im banned for ths, ill just be certain to take you down also. Other than that the irish parody was well done, though using a southern accent and mentioning the trouble we have in the north, Ian Paisley refernece, was a little strange.
I love how I quoted Yahtzee and people cussed me out for it and right after, they praise him.
 

Aurini

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Apr 29, 2009
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Glad to hear you're of Scottish descent. Those Irish are a savage, uncouth race that make the rest of Europe look like a civilized country by comparison.
 

Blueberries

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letsnoobtehpwns said:
Kikou-Shou said:
letsnoobtehpwns said:
"IT could have saved me time that I could have used to beat my wife" So true!
I can't believe that Yahtzee doesn't like whiskey! Whiskey is one of my favorite alcoholic drinks. Maybe that's just because I'm American.
What the fuck? You couldnt be more offensive if you tried you American ****. Well, could i expect much less? Also, what you call whiskey could be used to clean drains, Bourbon is piss, i dont care if im banned for ths, ill just be certain to take you down also. Other than that the irish parody was well done, though using a southern accent and mentioning the trouble we have in the north, Ian Paisley refernece, was a little strange.
I love how I quoted Yahtzee and people cussed me out for it and right after, they praise him.
Not true Mr Croshaw Didin't say "so true". The key difference between the review and your sentiments, is that His were in PARODY. When it comes to comedy either everything is fair game, or nothing is. Your not a comedian, you don't have an audience to find your points hunourous. You merely have an offended Irish person to contend with; also, the English Don't hate the Irish, merely the other way around.
 

Blueberries

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Aurini said:
Glad to hear you're of Scottish descent. Those Irish are a savage, uncouth race that make the rest of Europe look like a civilized country by comparison.
Someone is forgetting their history. I ask a question. What does scottish mean? Answer, Taken from the latin word Scotti, the name of the People of ireland. first mentioned in 431 by Prosper of Aquitaine(sorry for the spelling) In his Chronicle when the pope sent palladius to the scotti to be irelands first bishop.

At this point Scotland was known as Pictland, and was mostly pagan. It wasn't until The kings in the north of ireland, around 100 years later went to pict and set up "Scottish Dalriata", and Irish/Scotti settlement, which thans to Columcille eventually engulfed the entire country. Ergo, Scoland=Irishmanland. Look it up.
 

deplorable

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Feb 29, 2008
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awesome, although i do like adventure games and the Broken Sword (3) 3D, 2D thing worked quite well on the original xbox (the tales of monkey island on that machine, not as much).

good review (even the "irish" accent) :) and comps with floppy discs i never minded (yes i'm 28, but my dad worked for sinclair, rodine, hp etc so i was brought up on comps)... it was the tapes and waiting 20 mins just for an error screen to show up - highly annoying. (although some games had 2 tapes, like lords of chaos' expansion extra ughnes)

And the scots accent is really easy to pull off, although i am scottish.. but still aiming for a edinburgh accent, is easier than the Aberdeen (the faster you speak the more aberdonian you are) or Glasgow/Fife (take all english words and put them through a shredder) one's ;)
 

Manwithahat

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May 18, 2009
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At least 90% of everyone who watched this review would have had no idea as to who Ian Paisley is.

..And that's a good thing.

Good review, although I would've laughed more if he'd done a Belfast accent, but then no-one would have gotten it.
 

DoctorWhat

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Apr 10, 2009
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Hehe... Love the Irish accent (yay! homeland!). I didn't think it was possible for Yahtzee to speak faster than he already does.