Zero Punctuation: The Second Annual E3 Hype Massacre

[lillebille]

huh still i cant understand what the hell the videogame industrial corperations want to
acomplish whit motion sensors.
sensors i mean it was fun the first three seconds of gameplay on the wii but then you was satisfied and now everybody else rips of nintendo i mean look at the games of yesterday
they where fun to play even whit friends! and now look at the games of the future sure we will
have the unknown winners but the rest will be high grafical weird shit i mean it was basic and fun ideas that made scoobydo the night of a 100 frights(aka the best game ever!)
but now it all have to be wery complicated and realy good graphics wait now i got away from the subject all i say is that video gam is entering a dark and weird era so have fun whit the old games.

lillebille

 

[jebussaves88]

I think this may well have been the best one in over a year. i mean look at me, I'm even commenting.

You pretty much nailed all my negative views of the whole thing, but I'm still inevitably going to buy Halo Reach & Metal Gear Solid Rising like the shit crowd dweller I am.

 

[ssgt splatter]

ROFL. That was great!

 

[Zombie_Fish]

I'm not interested in E3, but that was some fine butchering again.

[HEADING=1]QUOTE TIME![/HEADING]​

Firstly: Why does Sonic need a car?

Secondly: Why does Sonic need to exist?

The Beatles Are A Rock Band

With multiplayer now so it can annoy four people at once for maximum efficiency.

I've known his games to bore me to death but never before they've been released.

As for the games, most of them didn't seem that impressive to me, though I'm actually interested in the new Zelda, the new Assassin's Creed and a couple others displayed there as well.

 

[DanRSL]

I'm surprised there wasn't a mention of Left 4 Dead 2, or the current fallout from that announcement. Considering L4D received a more positive review, perhaps it would have broken the consistency and mission of a "hype massacre", but still seems worth noting.

Oh yea, and no mention of "Quick-time Events: The Game" aka Heavy Rain? Thought that would be #1 on your list.

 

[Kuchinawa212]

Awesome!

 

[defaultuser]

Fan-friggin-tastic! But what about Scribblenauts? I thought you would dig that. Everyone was shouting about it being best in show.

 

[Beacon]

For the record, I'm not here to defend any game mentioned in this review. I only cared about five games from E3 and you didn't mention two of them and didn't say anything bad about the other two. So, trust me when I say that this isn't out of any type of crusader-like fanboyism...

You, and this week's ZP, fail.

Though I do completely agree with you on the motion control. Natal and the Eye toy will be reduced to gimmicks like the Wii within a week. I'll admit to being totally awestruck when I first saw it but I don't see how Natal is going to help me enjoy Gears of War or Portal anymore than I already do.

Bit of hypocrisy in that statement above....three out of the five games I'm looking forward to are on the Wii...

 

[darrinwright]

Hmm, no mention of the new Metroid game means one of two things: 1) he cared even less about it than that Sonic game or 2) it was a Wii title he honestly couldn't come up with something negative to say about.

I'm going with 1, but leaving the door open for 2.

 

[Mrsoupcup]

This sir is the best ZP to date. WE ARE ALL SHIT!!!

 

[angel85]

HEY! you forgot the new Metroid you flaming idiot! Ha ha, just kidding, this was probably the best E3 review video I ever saw, you made almost every joke I was thinking about as I heard about these games, especially Nintendo's dumbass casual game fling from the past couple of years.

 

[Legion]

It seems I'm the only one who didn't find it funny. It had a moment or two, but overall it wasn't.

I also pronounce it Nay-Tal. I've never heard it said aloud before being the reason.

There were some nice comments in there, but overall I felt he was relatively uninspired this week.

My mistake, there is another.

 

[1337mokro]

Kinda weird that Crosshaw didn't take interest in Alan Wake, I mean dark, oppressive, psychological scares, a game being in production for 5 years now. It's clear they took their sweet time on this thing and what I have seen of it with a hugely ineffective flash light, gun that only works when flash light is pointed at said monstrosity and light based booby-traps and puzzles with fragmented story telling.

It sounds great, but of course I never say anything will be great after I have actually seen a demo or have the game in my hands.
But my expectations of Alan Wake are high, my hopes that it will meet those expectations are slim however to stave of suicide.

 

[Talendra]

Yahtzee choking kinda sounds like a murlock.
Very funny.

 

[anondudekyle]

I'm surprised there wasn't a mention of Left 4 Dead 2, or the current fallout from that announcement. Considering L4D received a more positive review, perhaps it would have broken the consistency and mission of a "hype massacre", but still seems worth noting.

my moneys on left 4 dead 2 not being mentioned because we all know it is exactly like the first

 

[ReverseEngineered]

I'm glad everybody is tearing into E3. For all the hype that lead up to it, it really was a let down. "Here are some new gadgets we are toying with that likely will never make it to market. Oh, and by the way, this year we'll be releasing half-assed sequels to all of your favorite games." Yay.

This episode had lots of great jokes, though it did seem like Yahtzee was in a rush and fell off at the end. I guess Yahtzee's good jokes were drying up, so he decided to quickly jump into a non-sequitur about video games sucking because people are shit, then wrap it up by choking on his own tongue. That seems almost ironic (time to drag him out behind the shed).

 

[MrDutch]

Indeed, why does sonic the hedgehog still needs to exist?

 

[Quadtrix]

I agree with Yahtzee about The Last Guardian. As soon as I saw that trailer, I knew that thing was destined to die before the end of the game.

 

[HadesWTF]

So funny.....lol

 

[Slaingod]

First off, it took me about five minutes to stop laughing. Good show as always.
Second of all I don't have a lot of hope for this year in games. Other than the possibility of "Operation: Flashpoint, Dragon Rising" and Wolfenstein 2, I'm not getting much of a warm fuzzy.
Third, it's true the E3 is advertising upcoming games and such, but I don't really like sales pitches or salespersons either. Sometimes it reminds me of drug dealers. Standing on the corner trying to get kids addicted to their games. Kids keep coming back because they maybe looking for that same initial "high". While at the same time the game developers continually cut the product down until all your sniffing is the finely ground bones of good games.
By the way, this is just my opinion. Not a statement of fact.