Zero Punctuation: The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings

[Distortionfile]

Dude. Yahtzee. BUY A FASTER FUCKING COMPUTER. You are not qualified to review PC games on your outdated LAPTOP. You're wasting everyone's time even bringing it up. You can't possibly know if a game is compelling or even worth playing if you're not getting the proper experience.
I love you man but if you have to complain about your laptop you're doing it wrong...

 

[predatorpulse7]

You don't need a monolith to run this, you need a monolith to run it at high-ultra.

I have a freaking NVIDIA 9600 GT on my system(4 gigs ram, 2.9 Ghz intel processor), which is basically from the pleystocene era of graphic cards, and it runs fine on low to medium settings, at 25-30 fps with patch 1.2. I have the GOG version, I don't know if it differs from the others.

You can easily find on the net articles which tell you what graphical options you should turn off if you don't have a high end machine

Update your graphic drivers, adjust the options and it should play fine. The Witcher on low settings beats most PC games in graphics gorgeousness.

I'm sorry, what? You called out Yahtzee for not having a decent enough computer to review the game on, when all he said was he had to turn the graphics down to low. Now you're saying that low graphics is perfectly fine, nay, beautiful?

I have a pretty old rig and it worked on low-medium settings. And yes, it didn't diminish the experience by much. TW 2 is more than nice graphics.

And yes, I will call out yahtzee on not having a decent pc to run this on. The guy has money(as a successful game critic and writer), I don't. I haven't bought anything new for my system in almost 4 years(see my pathetic graphics card) and I can run this game fine.

Also, didn't yahtzee review crisis 2? That thing requites a very good rig just to run it on medium. Where did he play crisis? At a friend's?

 

[Shamanic Rhythm]

Dude. Yahtzee. BUY A FASTER FUCKING COMPUTER. You are not qualified to review PC games on your outdated LAPTOP. You're wasting everyone's time even bringing it up. You can't possibly know if a game is compelling or even worth playing if you're not getting the proper experience.
I love you man but if you have to complain about your laptop you're doing it wrong...

Why is his opinion of how much he enjoyed the game invalidated by the fact that he's playing it on a laptop? "Sorry, you can only comment on the game unless you have a really expensive rig capable of running it at max." This is simply pure elitism.

You know, a lot of people who like to play games don't have the money to own and constantly upgrade a computer that can run new PC games at high graphics. Those people might want to know how a game is going to run on a lower-end system, so there's plenty of reason for him to review it on the system he has.

Do you know the specs of his Laptop? No? Then Yathzee did nothing to help you to decide if the game would run on your system or not. All he did was "I can't run game very well. Game bad!!1!1! Dur dur"

He said he had a laptop, that much is a start. A great many gaming sites don't even tell you what kind of specs they're testing the game on either.

 

[Fullmetalfox]

And when you compare CS to Halo you forget about one thing... CS was a mod, it wasn't never full game. At it's hearth it was just bare mechanics + some multi maps. And it was gold in 1999. Also it were the times of lan parties, and CS was Fun in those. A lot of weapons, cash for kills, clear UI, fast, 3 modes, sprays etc. When it came, it was the best multiplayer shooter out there (also it was kinda fresh idea). So you may think that NOW it is mediocre... But that's normal when you go try compare games from diffrent centuries -.-''. BTW a lot of competetive shooters copied from CS.

The original Halo and the original CS were released 1 year apart, CS retail was released in 11/08/2000, Halo 1 was released 11/15/2001. Even in videogame terms, that's not a long time.
Yes, nowadays I find CS and CSS mediocre, the games didn't age well. The Halo franchise is also mediocre compared to today's shooters like CoD, Killzone 3 and TF2. Yes, CS was influential But so was Halo. Halo was the reason people started connecting their consoles to the internet, Its the reason why we have games like Gears of war and Killzone. I can recognize that even if I don't like Halo so much.
Both franchises started around the same time period and haven't evolved at all, and while CS started as a mod, The retail version was developed by valve, so its a fair comparison.

My point is, Its silly to point fingers at some console gamers for playing an outdated/mediocre shooter when some PC gamers do the same thing. If they like it, let it be. They are not harming anyone, mate.

PC elitists are no better than console fanboys. I'm sick and tired of hearing them bitching and moaning every time a developer tries to make a game more accessible and claiming its being dumbed down for the "console tards". As if the fact that they start up windows to play a game makes them smarter than someone who starts up a PS3 or a 360. If people like console gaming can you really blame then? How does having a preference for convenience over graphical power makes one stupid?
To me, stupidity lies more on the people who deny themselves the ability to enjoy a great game based on the fact that's not on their favorite platform.

Take my advice, mate.
Stop caring about platforms and start caring about the games, the experiences. You'll have way more fun and you won't miss out on some great titles!

 

[Distortionfile]

I feel the need to add that many of your complaints about the game could very well be the result of your laptop struggling to run the game. Especially your reports of slow reactions or perceived improper ones. Now yes it's all well and nice that in the console world you put in a game and just play it. But that's not how it goes in the pc world. You have to have hardware to run pc games. It has always been that way.

Your statement that a game "isn't optimized well" because it doesn't play on your laptop is just, well, I don't want to call you stupid because I love your brilliant wit and charm. But, arrogant? Short sighted? I'm only going to this length because I seem to hear you complain about this with every PC game you "review" and it's just not fair to the developers or the fans for you to base your opinion on your computers performance.

It's like watching a blue ray on your Droid and then complaining that the studio made the movie too small.

 

[Ixal]

Dude. Yahtzee. BUY A FASTER FUCKING COMPUTER. You are not qualified to review PC games on your outdated LAPTOP. You're wasting everyone's time even bringing it up. You can't possibly know if a game is compelling or even worth playing if you're not getting the proper experience.
I love you man but if you have to complain about your laptop you're doing it wrong...

Why is his opinion of how much he enjoyed the game invalidated by the fact that he's playing it on a laptop? "Sorry, you can only comment on the game unless you have a really expensive rig capable of running it at max." This is simply pure elitism.

You know, a lot of people who like to play games don't have the money to own and constantly upgrade a computer that can run new PC games at high graphics. Those people might want to know how a game is going to run on a lower-end system, so there's plenty of reason for him to review it on the system he has.

Do you know the specs of his Laptop? No? Then Yathzee did nothing to help you to decide if the game would run on your system or not. All he did was "I can't run game very well. Game bad!!1!1! Dur dur"

He said he had a laptop, that much is a start. A great many gaming sites don't even tell you what kind of specs they're testing the game on either.

No, its "You can't comment on the game when you can barely run it" and "When you are too cheap to buy a gaming system, its not the games fault when you can hardly play it".

For example how do you know that the delays he complains about are not the result of his laptop not being able to run this game with 30 FPS?
And a laptop can range from $200 to $2000 for a gaming laptop. Just saying "I have a laptop" is no indication of what specs it has.

I repeat again, when Yathzee does not have the tools to review PC games, he should not do it.

 

[Vault101]

I see a lot of denial already.

And i highly doubt yahtzee hates PC gaming.

??? Im sorry but "if you disagree with me your x" doesnt make an argument, that is unless you think EVERYTHING yahtzee says is fact...in that case god help you

anyway I dont see why people are all up in arms...its a ZP review..what did you expect? praise? he didnt like the first one (neither did I ) so yeah..he wouldnt like this one

Witcher is somthing of a love hate title anyway

I honestly don't know how your first para is related to my comment. You'll have to make that a little clearer to me.

TW2 fans, at least the majority of the vocal one's, expect nothing short of unadulterated praise for their game. Proverbially speaking, what yahtzee just did is equivalent to drawing cartoons of the prophet having butt sex with a pig. So this grand display of tribalism is to be expected.

Too bad yahtzee didn't play past the octopus bit. The game becomes mind-numbingly easy afterwards.

well it felt like you were saying "oh look they LIKE the game, that means they are in denial about how bad it is"

also...if your expecting yahtzee to praise the witchter...what planet are you on? (not you obviously)

 

[Distortionfile]

Dude. Yahtzee. BUY A FASTER FUCKING COMPUTER. You are not qualified to review PC games on your outdated LAPTOP. You're wasting everyone's time even bringing it up. You can't possibly know if a game is compelling or even worth playing if you're not getting the proper experience.
I love you man but if you have to complain about your laptop you're doing it wrong...

Why is his opinion of how much he enjoyed the game invalidated by the fact that he's playing it on a laptop? "Sorry, you can only comment on the game unless you have a really expensive rig capable of running it at max." This is simply pure elitism.

You know, a lot of people who like to play games don't have the money to own and constantly upgrade a computer that can run new PC games at high graphics. Those people might want to know how a game is going to run on a lower-end system, so there's plenty of reason for him to review it on the system he has.

Do you know the specs of his Laptop? No? Then Yathzee did nothing to help you to decide if the game would run on your system or not. All he did was "I can't run game very well. Game bad!!1!1! Dur dur"

He said he had a laptop, that much is a start. A great many gaming sites don't even tell you what kind of specs they're testing the game on either.

It's not elitism. Many complaints that he made can be the result of a poor computer.
When he reviews an XBox game it's totally fair to tear it apart because an xbox is an xbox. People with old out dated computers shouldn't expect to be playing new games at all. I have an 4400+ dual core. My computer wont run bio shock 2 at a frame rate that pleases me. I'm not blogging about how bioshock 2 is poorly optimized, or how the game isn't fun because it isn't responsive enough on my old computer.

It's not fair to the people whos computers will run this game for him to run it in the ground without a true concept of how it plays on a computer it was designed for.


My point is, any time a game review starts with "I had to set the settings on low" it sounds unprofessional, uninformed, and a bit ridiculous.

 

[Shamanic Rhythm]

I have a pretty old rig and it worked on low-medium settings. And yes, it didn't diminish the experience by much. TW 2 is more than nice graphics.

And yes, I will call out yahtzee on not having a decent pc to run this on. The guy has money(as a successful game critic and writer), I don't. I haven't bought anything new for my system in almost 4 years(see my pathetic graphics card) and I can run this game fine.

Also, didn't yahtzee review crisis 2? That thing requites a very good rig just to run it on medium. Where did he play crisis? At a friend's?

Maybe you should stop making assumptions. You have no idea how much he's paid by the escapist, or how much his contract for Mmogworld actually gives him out of the total sales. Either way, just because he has money does not mean that he automatically should upgrade his hardware in order to venture his opinion.

Answer me this question: if I, a person with only a very low end PC, decided to write a blog reviewing games like The Witcher 2, would my opinion be less valid? What if I suddenly got lots of hits and my reviews were featured on another site? Would it then suddenly be less valid?

 

[Ixal]

I have a pretty old rig and it worked on low-medium settings. And yes, it didn't diminish the experience by much. TW 2 is more than nice graphics.

And yes, I will call out yahtzee on not having a decent pc to run this on. The guy has money(as a successful game critic and writer), I don't. I haven't bought anything new for my system in almost 4 years(see my pathetic graphics card) and I can run this game fine.

Also, didn't yahtzee review crisis 2? That thing requites a very good rig just to run it on medium. Where did he play crisis? At a friend's?

Maybe you should stop making assumptions. You have no idea how much he's paid by the escapist, or how much his contract for Mmogworld actually gives him out of the total sales. Either way, just because he has money does not mean that he automatically should upgrade his hardware in order to venture his opinion.

Answer me this question: if I, a person with only a very low end PC, decided to write a blog reviewing games like The Witcher 2, would my opinion be less valid? What if I suddenly got lots of hits and my reviews were featured on another site? Would it then suddenly be less valid?

Yatzhee is co owner of a bar which is described as being very successful and is currently expanding. Sounds like that this guy is not poor.

Is your opinion less valid? If your opinion is "This game looks ugly, Its unresponsive (because I have low FPS) and its badly optimized" then yes, because you are not reviewing the game but your old PC.

 

[Shamanic Rhythm]

My point is, any time a game review starts with "I had to set the settings on low" it sounds unprofessional, uninformed, and a bit ridiculous.

I really fail to see why it's considered unprofessional to review a game on a system that is not high end. If you personally know that you have a better computer, you can feel free to disregard the performance analysis. At least he discloses what system he was playing it on, so that intelligent people can go 'Hmm, he was only playing it on a presumably low-end laptop. I might get better performance out of it on my rig.'

The idea that only people with high end computers should be allowed to review games is so ridiculous it's like PC eugenics.

 

[Filiecs]

Despite the fact that I disagree with almost every aspect of the review, I couldn't help but laugh. I actually got a hold on the game almost instantly without taking a look in the manual. I mean, I knew some of the basic stuff right away and it was pretty easy to guess the stuff I didn't know. The only thing I really AM upset at is the lack of responsiveness sometimes. There is a bud where sometimes Geralt will completely freeze up instead of throwing a bomb.

Still one of the best games I've ever played, will play again to see how it affects the story.

 

[dantoddd]

also...if your expecting yahtzee to praise the witchter...what planet are you on? (not you obviously)

the planet where games like red dead redemption,just cause 2 & portal 2 exist.

 

[Vault101]

also...if your expecting yahtzee to praise the witchter...what planet are you on? (not you obviously)

the planet where games like red dead redemption,just cause 2 & portal 2 exist.

you obviously didnt see his reveiw of the first one

this hard core-old school RPG, its just not his thing

 

[Shamanic Rhythm]

I have a pretty old rig and it worked on low-medium settings. And yes, it didn't diminish the experience by much. TW 2 is more than nice graphics.

And yes, I will call out yahtzee on not having a decent pc to run this on. The guy has money(as a successful game critic and writer), I don't. I haven't bought anything new for my system in almost 4 years(see my pathetic graphics card) and I can run this game fine.

Also, didn't yahtzee review crisis 2? That thing requites a very good rig just to run it on medium. Where did he play crisis? At a friend's?

Maybe you should stop making assumptions. You have no idea how much he's paid by the escapist, or how much his contract for Mmogworld actually gives him out of the total sales. Either way, just because he has money does not mean that he automatically should upgrade his hardware in order to venture his opinion.

Answer me this question: if I, a person with only a very low end PC, decided to write a blog reviewing games like The Witcher 2, would my opinion be less valid? What if I suddenly got lots of hits and my reviews were featured on another site? Would it then suddenly be less valid?

Yatzhee is co owner of a bar which is described as being very successful and is currently expanding. Sounds like that this guy is not poor.

Is your opinion less valid? If your opinion is "This game looks ugly, Its unresponsive (because I have low FPS) and its badly optimized" then yes, because you are not reviewing the game but your old PC.

I don't know where you're from, but here in Australia we have enough taxation to ensure that just because your small privately owned business is doing well, it doesn't mean you're going to be very well off personally.

Whoa, easy there tiger. At no point did he say the game looked ugly: he said he had to reduce the graphics to the point that it was like a cartoon. I'm pretty sure that was hyperbole for comic effect, and besides, the very fact that he said he 'reduced the graphics' is communicating to people that the game can look better than what he experienced. So it's not like anyone is going to not buy the game based on that statement, since I know that you're out here doing the noble job of making sure that CP Projekt doesn't go under because of one negative review.

 

[vermin_]

Realy?

U press right mouse button to skip a cut-scene.

Not beign a cock but it felt like some kind off IGN review with a brit accent. Sorry.

I just don't get this man. When he reviewed Bioshock he cried the game was too easy, he goes to Witcher (a game that dosent hold youre hand) and cryes it's hard?

But them again, dropping a RPG on someone that praises Dead Rising and Just Cause...

 

[Ishiro32]

And when you compare CS to Halo you forget about one thing... CS was a mod, it wasn't never full game. At it's hearth it was just bare mechanics + some multi maps. And it was gold in 1999. Also it were the times of lan parties, and CS was Fun in those. A lot of weapons, cash for kills, clear UI, fast, 3 modes, sprays etc. When it came, it was the best multiplayer shooter out there (also it was kinda fresh idea). So you may think that NOW it is mediocre... But that's normal when you go try compare games from diffrent centuries -.-''. BTW a lot of competetive shooters copied from CS.

The original Halo and the original CS were released 1 year apart, CS retail was released in 11/08/2000, Halo 1 was released 11/15/2001. Even in videogame terms, that's not a long time.
Yes, nowadays I find CS and CSS mediocre, the games didn't age well. The Halo franchise is also mediocre compared to today's shooters like CoD, Killzone 3 and TF2. Yes, CS was influential But so was Halo. Halo was the reason people started connecting their consoles to the internet, Its the reason why we have games like Gears of war and Killzone. I can recognize that even if I don't like Halo so much.
Both franchises started around the same time period and haven't evolved at all, and while CS started as a mod, The retail version was developed by valve, so its a fair comparison.

My point is, Its silly to point fingers at some console gamers for playing an outdated/mediocre shooter when some PC gamers do the same thing. If they like it, let it be. They are not harming anyone, mate.

PC elitists are no better than console fanboys. I'm sick and tired of hearing them bitching and moaning every time a developer tries to make a game more accessible and claiming its being dumbed down for the "console tards". As if the fact that they start up windows to play a game makes them smarter than someone who starts up a PS3 or a 360. If people like console gaming can you really blame then? How does having a preference for convenience over graphical power makes one stupid?
To me, stupidity lies more on the people who deny themselves the ability to enjoy a great game based on the fact that's not on their favorite platform.

Take my advice, mate.
Stop caring about platforms and start caring about the games, the experiences. You'll have way more fun and you won't miss out on some great titles!

I don't care about platforms ;P. I love to put Soul Calibur IV and play with some friends until my hands are sore. Burnout 3 or God of War. Consoles have great games which i would like to see on PC (exclusives are bad).
The thing between those is... Pc is much more indie friendly since almost anyone can create a game and try to publish it (Minecraft!). Mod community which i think consoles couldn't emulate better than simplified map editors. The closed structure of consoles is it's blessing and it's curse since after few years graphics are outdated. Also consoles never really had big rendering abbilities. And i think there should be more support on consoles for mouse and keyboard since it is really more complex for some genres. FPS on consoles really should let you play with mouse.
On the other hand consoles have intresting game library. Are faster and simple. Sometimes simple is good. Local multiplayer for 4 people is good. Big screen etc.
And about Halo... I don't like it much, but i respect Bungie (where is my ONI 2!). And Halo franchise had influence on the community, i agree.

Oh and about devs who dumb down they games... They are doing it. Maybe consoles are the beat goat, but a lot of games try to appeal to everyone which is a bit silly.
And yes fanboys are always anoying, the side on which they are is irrelevant

snip

About Fallout 3, as you said the previous fallout's are a bit better. When you grade those games as an RPG there is a big diffrence between fallout 2 and 3 (story choices). So people point it out, but i think we all agree that game is good, just could be better. NV fixed a lot of technical issues but game still have them more.

Yeah VTM have mixed reviews. It is overhyped because it has some very unique features.For example amazing animations during conversations, great haunted house (got an award for this level), amazing writing (story was avarage but writing was great) and great atmosphere. The game had terrible issues, it was rushed out, bugs were everywhere, combat system was bad and dull, after the first act game loses some of it's free will etc.
But this game was made with hearth, a lot of content etc. that's why it has a lot of followers (and people love World of Darkness <3 franchise) and should be rememberd.

 

[GxRacer]

I still don't get why is called the Witcher.

 

[Ixal]

I still don't get why is called the Witcher.

Why not? The main character is a Witcher after all.

 

[Abedeus]

This is precisely why I'm a console gamer, console games don't take all day and I don't have to reduce the graphics to 1st grader quality to actually play. Good review Yahtzee you faustian king amongst us mere mortal squishies. Just remember to have fun with Brink He he he.

Wait, what? If you have a 20-year old car, don't expect it to drive as fast as a 5-year old car. Same with PCs - it's actually a good thing, because if you don't want to or can't buy a new PC every 2-3 years (you know, since some consoles aren't retro, wink wink), you can just turn off some settings. And those that do enjoy pouring liquid gold into their rigs can enjoy HIGHER level of graphics than on consoles.

I still don't get why is called the Witcher.

Cause it's a translation of Polish word "Wied&#378;min". Wied&#378;ma = Witch. "min" part suggests a male. Witch...er. Witchir? Witchter? Wicken?