Zero Punctuation: Top 5 Games of 2014

Enlong

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Objectable said:
Sonic Boom makes me so sad. And the TV Show is halfway fun, to!
The game is just... *sobs*
COME BACK SONIC GENERATIONS! I MISS YOU!
Calm thine tits. It's not even like Rise of Lyric is a standard or mainline Sonic platformer. It's a spinoff title whose genre within the platformer heading has more in line with Lego City than most Sonic games. It does have those token boost-pad segments, seemingly in an attempt to say "no, but Sonic MUST BE ABOUT SPEEEEEEEED!", but that's hardly its core gameplay.

Lost World, not Rise of Lyric, is the most recent standard Sonic game. Of course, even that one is kinda "meh" next to Colors, but Colors and Generations were at the tail end of a long line of games that worked on polishing their mechanics, whereas Lost World was experiencing with a new setup. I imagine the next game to use that new set of mechanics it introduced will be able to polish it some more.
 

Zjarcal

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KingdomFantasyXIII said:
I've always found it very unfair for Zero Punctuation to put Final Fantasy XIII and Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII on the top 5 worst list when he's only played 3-5 hours of said games each. You can't know what an RPG is about in said 3-5 hours story wise, character development wise, combat wise, or atmosphere wise.

It's really stupid to do that. FF13 was a decent game and while LR was only passable, neither deserved to be on that list. If you look at the games on said countdowns, all of those other games were pretty broken in every regard.
It's not meant to be a "fair" list though, everybody knows by now ZP is anything but fair, just a lulzy show.

And yes I love FFXIII (points to avatar), but I do find enjoyment in watching Yahtzee rag on it, simply because he's hilarious at it (especially since I actually felt the same way he did for the first 10 hours or so, so I can actually relate to his experience).
 

Aiddon_v1legacy

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Silvershock said:
Why did I know in advance that this thread would be 50% Nintendo fanboys complaining about Smash? You guys really need to get over two things:

1) Not everyone likes Smash. That is actually a thing that is possible, rather than "t3h bi45" against the corporation you've decided to attach your self-worth to.
2) Even if he had adored the game, it couldn't go on the list because he didn't review it.

Like children somtimes - predictable, irritating children.
Then maybe he shouldn't partake in what can best be described as a childish, insecure taunt. Doing such a thing and then expecting people to not get irritated or call him out on his behavior is akin to mooning someone and then complaining when they call the cops on your ass. Then again, at the end of the day, it really just comes off as sour grapes; pouting that the game is better designed, more critically acclaimed, and more adored the world over despite being pure, unashamed fanservice of the highest order.
 

Revolutionary

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I went in expecting to have my jimmies rustled, but they were left undisturbed, so that's good I guess. I also don't get why people are so sycophantically defensive of smash bros. I've played it, I've got it, I even got a couple of amiibos, but I wouldn't put it in my top 5, top ten maybe, but not top 5.
 

Erttheking

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Johnny Novgorod said:
erttheking said:
Also on another note, Shadow of Mordor? Honestly didn't see that coming.
Didn't you watch his review? He loved it.
Yeah but there's a difference between loving it and loving it more than anything else that came out this year. I thought Alien Isolation would've taken that prize.
 

Erttheking

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Silvershock said:
Why did I know in advance that this thread would be 50% Nintendo fanboys complaining about Smash? You guys really need to get over two things:

1) Not everyone likes Smash. That is actually a thing that is possible, rather than "t3h bi45" against the corporation you've decided to attach your self-worth to.
2) Even if he had adored the game, it couldn't go on the list because he didn't review it.

Like children somtimes - predictable, irritating children.
Then maybe Yahtzee shouldn't have said that he was only going to talk about games he played, and then moved on to talking about how shit Smash Bros anyway. And maybe he also shouldn't have directly insulted the fans. I mean, it could've been forgiven if it was funny, but sadly those jokes didn't even get a chuckle out of me. Because they were less jokes and more insults.
 

Zendariel

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KingdomFantasyXIII said:
Aiddon said:
KingdomFantasyXIII said:
Movies and RPGs are completely different. Movies are just two hours to 1.5 hours long due to the fact that you don't control what happens in a movie, and you just watch what happens on the screen. Plus character development is very simplified in movies as well (the characters in the LOTR books are far more developed than their movie counterparts).

It's not valid to just say "I know exactly what is happening in 40 hour RPG when you have only played 5 hours". That is 1/8th of the time that is needed to understand what is going on, why that is happening, what the characters journeys are like and how does the game play.
Except it's completely valid because if a game does not grab you within four hours than clearly jack shit is happening. Heck, with some games that's half their running time. It gave him nothing to grab onto; no interesting characters, no underlying mystery, no interesting world to explore, nothing. Contrast this with previous entries in the series; within the first hour of FFIV you're given a clear task (go to village to deliver something), got introduced to some interesting characters in Kain, Cecil, and Rydia, and also have a surprise twist (why would someone burn said village to the ground/my country is up to something). FFVI was much the same way, giving the mystery of the Espers, having Terra and Locke set out on a journey to meet with the resistance, and of course seeing an interesting world filled with fascinating characters. And FFVII starts off with you blowing up a reactor. Exciting, but you're also learning about the setup (you again all-powerful, evil corporation) and learn a few things about Cloud and the people he's with (he's an ex-SOLDIER).

FFXIII does nothing so competently or interesting. It's just stuff happening, except we have no context for the stuff happening, mostly due to shitty story-telling as evidenced by vital exposition being relegated to an in-game dictionary instead of woven into the narrative properly. If a game's opening is so crap that it's painful than better to just chuck it instead of hoping it'll magically get better.
1. FF4 only introduces the characters, but it does not develop them. The lack of development and only showing the archtype does not make good characters.

2. The task of "Go to a Village to deliver something" is not the main storyline and lacks any form of connection to the major plot points. It only shows "Government bad, you are good". You would never have guessed that Golbez was Cecil's lost brother, that Cecil came from the moon, and that the main villain (Zemus) is trying to get his lunar brethren to populate the planet.

3. FF6 gives you the mystery of the Espers but does not explain why it's a mystery. you have to play farther in order to understand what is going on with the Espers and why they are important. Same thing with FF7. You would never have guessed all of the plot twists from just the first 5 hours. It takes more than that to understand what is going on.

4. FF13 did set up these mysteries as well: What is the Pulse L'cie's focus? Why does Fang have a white L'cie brand? Why does Cocoon and Grand Pulse hate each other so much? Again, questions that will be answered past the 5 hour mark.
There are a few things that separate the beginning of Final Fantasy XIII from the rest of the examples and i guess it would be best described as a lack of agency, while the mysteries are also presented in Final Fantasy XIII there is nothing to get more info of except the codex, there are no npc:s to talk to, there are very limited paths to explore, combat takes a long time to become anything but press x to deal damage, item customization takes a long time to get anywhere.

Most of this results in the first 5 to 10 hours to just walking down the corridor while sometimes fighting and sometimes going through flashbacks. There is very little to break the monotony, heck you don't even need to worry about potions or anything as health gets back full after every fight, resulting in even fewer breaks from the initial corridor running. It also takes some time to be able to level the characters, again resulting in the lack of things to keep the player engaged.

It is not valid to say you know everything about the game by that point, but for many it is enough to get completely bored of the game and lose interest.
 

ResonanceSD

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Jman1236 said:
A worst 5 game list without COD? It's a mircle!

Actually yeah 2014 has be a low point for gaming in general with AAA games shooting themselves in the foot time and again:Looks at destiny:
And Far Cry 4 and Thief and Assassins Creed.
 

The Madman

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I had completely forgotten about Thief, being reminded of its existence was like an unwelcome kick to the crotch. Seriously, screw that game, it killed any hopes of there ever being a proper continuation of the Thief franchise and for that I'll never forgive it.

Fuck that game.
 

Alexsi

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Fucking hell Yahtzee, I don't even LIKE the new Smash Bros. and I think you're being too much of a dick. You're not even reviewing the thing, and your Top 5 is usually the best video of the year. Is it really necessary to slam not just the game, not just the concept, not just the associated franchise, but even the people who enjoy it? Because this isn't even substantive anymore. It's just repeatedly shouting, "I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT APPEALS TO YOU AND IT IS OBJECTIVELY WORSE THAN WHAT APPEALS TO ME." I was going to make a joke about it on the Shovel Knight video itself, but now I think it would strike a little close to home to say that liking Shovel Knight is making him insecure about his reputation as the master of retrophobia.
 

Llarys

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Oh come on guys. We all know he hates Smash Bros. It's old hat by now.

1) Multiplayer is the focus
2) Weak/no story
3) It's an IP-fap game
4) Yahtzee doesn't strike me as a fighting game type of guy, even if it rivaled The Holy Bible in story length.


What I really don't understand is why people want the guy to review games that THEY like, hoping to hear him praise their favorite game, earning smug-points, when it is basically his job to snub his nose at everything and anything. It would be my dream to have the man take a look through my library of favorites just to call it shit and explain in a detailed, eloquent manner why my taste is so shit. After all, it's what we've all come here for, is it not?



As for the growing bitterness over the JRPG issue I've noticed, all I want to say is that the story can take far longer than 4-5 hours to really kick in and develop, yes, but you should be able to get a feel for the game's mechanics within a couple of hours. My favorite example (and a game I would like Yahtzee to rip apart [read above]) is Xenoblade Chronicles. The story is as slow, convoluted, and takes a while to build up pace - all par for JRPGs. What it does better, however, is have what we in the literary world call a hook, something that a lot of JRPGs lack these days. The game sets itself up with the amazing intro, sets you off on your adventure, where you can tinker about the starting town for hours (if you would like to), but can easily begin the real story as quickly as you like. And as soon as you do, things get intense, fast. It's got a fast, great hook that gets you invested in the story, right at the beginning, available within 2 hours, or up to 5 hours if you decide to go side-quest crazy, not after you've been playing for 10, 15 hours. Also, the gameplay is a most more interesting to me than other JRPGs out there, but that's another can of worms.
 

1nfinite_Cros5

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That's twice in a year that Yahtzee's #1 game is one where the main character is voiced by Troy Baker. Maybe the guy can go for a hat trick next year?
 

President Bagel

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Johnny Novgorod said:
LordTerminal said:
You're biased against Nintendo and you don't like fighting games so why touch something you obviously aren't going to like other than to deliberately piss people off?
He liked Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door, Super Paper Mario, EarthBound and Luigi's Mansion: Dark Moon. He's just biased against games that are bad and/or boring.
And also Super Mario World and Metroid Prime. I've never bought into the misconception that he's biased against Nintendo, either. He just doesn't like it when game developers rely too much on nostalgia.
 

Kitsune Hunter

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Johnny Novgorod said:
Kitsune Hunter said:
Johnny Novgorod said:
Using my own joke as a reply, hilarious, you should do stand up some time, my friend.


Good god man, you broke it!

Bindal said:
Honestly, I got the feeling that Thief was just Yathzees Fanboy being mad, nothing else.
To be fair, he is a big fan of the Thief franchise and considering the new game wasn't really that good, the disappointment must have hit hard

Silvershock said:
Why did I know in advance that this thread would be 50% Nintendo fanboys complaining about Smash? You guys really need to get over two things:

1) Not everyone likes Smash. That is actually a thing that is possible, rather than "t3h bi45" against the corporation you've decided to attach your self-worth to.
2) Even if he had adored the game, it couldn't go on the list because he didn't review it.

Like children somtimes - predictable, irritating children.
So 50% now somehow makes up only a couple of people, including myself? Hmmmmm... Plus it's so easy to write people off as "fanboys" and "children" to discredit their opinions and avoid any kind of discussion, isn't it? I don't disagree with the fact that Smash isn't on the list, as you're right, not every one will like the game and he didn't review it, but since Smash had no reason to be mentioned at all, I take offense that it was a shameless insult to get a rise out of the fans.
 

Haru17

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Shadow of Mordor's nemesis system isn't deceptively simple, it's just plain simple. The main quest of that game told a better story than 'get killed by dude' / 'kill dude' / 'mind control dude' then rinse & repeat, even if the ending was awful and the impact on Middle Earth minimal.

That's not to say that I didn't love Shadow of Mordor, or even the nemesis system, it was just narratively dull. Dragon Age Inquisition is a far better role playing simulator if that's what you're into.
 

hyurnat4

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I thought he was relatively gentle to Smash Bros fans. It was also the funniest part of the video: is it just me or is there something inherently funny about wildebeest?


Llarys said:
As for the growing bitterness over the JRPG issue I've noticed, all I want to say is that the story can take far longer than 4-5 hours to really kick in and develop, yes, but you should be able to get a feel for the game's mechanics within a couple of hours. My favorite example (and a game I would like Yahtzee to rip apart [read above]) is Xenoblade Chronicles. The story is as slow, convoluted, and takes a while to build up pace - all par for JRPGs. What it does better, however, is have what we in the literary world call a hook, something that a lot of JRPGs lack these days. The game sets itself up with the amazing intro, sets you off on your adventure, where you can tinker about the starting town for hours (if you would like to), but can easily begin the real story as quickly as you like. And as soon as you do, things get intense, fast. It's got a fast, great hook that gets you invested in the story, right at the beginning, available within 2 hours, or up to 5 hours if you decide to go side-quest crazy, not after you've been playing for 10, 15 hours. Also, the gameplay is a most more interesting to me than other JRPGs out there, but that's another can of worms.
And yeah, you really don't want him to review Xenoblade. It had some really strong points and some really weak points, and I think he's going to talk about one side of that particular coin. Hell, I could spend five minutes on the voice acting alone.

The one I want him to review is Warcraft 3. It was my first game and I'm kind of still in love with it, even though I don't like RTSs.
 

FirstNameLastName

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Nov 6, 2014
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Oh christ, he mentioned SSB...

Speaking as someone who loved SSB of the N64.
And speaking as someone who loved SSB:M on the GameCube.
And speaking as someone who would probably play the newer SSB games if I cared to own any new Nintendo consoles, can someone explain to me why it seems that so many fans seem to have skin so thin it's practically transparent?

Every fanbase has those who get unnecessarily offended when people criticise it, but it just seems an alarming number of SSB fans go into a full on pissing and moaning meltdown the second anyone dares to dislike it.
 

Kallindril

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I wouldn't necessarily agree Thief was the -worst- game of 2014 on the merits, but I would agree that to anyone who was a fan of the original series, it was the most disappointing.