Zero Punctuation: Two Worlds II

Yahtzee Croshaw

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Two Worlds II

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews the sequel to One Worlds One... err Two Worlds One... eh whatever.

Watch Video
 

Kegsen

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Feb 20, 2011
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Ah. Cold beer, Mr. Croshaws latest ramblings. Life is good :)
Although my cravings for Two Worlds...2..(never even heard about the first one) isn`t reaching an all time high.
 

Xsist

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Jul 20, 2009
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Well thats because we are hardcore yahtzee! We don't smile... we are seriously really super serious!

(Good review btw :p I feel your hatred for magic!)
 

Sylocat

Sci-Fi & Shakespeare
Nov 13, 2007
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I saw which game he was reviewing, and before I even clicked on the link, I thought, "Oh, this is going to be bloody."

I was actually somewhat surprised that he didn't brutally eviscerate every aspect of the game like he did with Mindjack, but maybe it's just soft compared to last week's, because he still didn't find much to recommend it.
 

Srdjan Tanaskovic

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............................a laptop?

seriously?


you play a demanding game on a laptop?


...........*shock*


Also go play Trine. The wizard seems to be a happy dude in that game
 

EvetscipE

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Sep 2, 2009
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Two worlds 2, while being vastly superior to it's predecessor is still a TERRIBLE GAME! The controls are beyond stupid, the story is pathetic and the animation is lazy!

The story changed sevral times, names change and the main villain is alive in this despite being killed in the end and your sister's name changes in the same game from Kyro(k-eye-rah) to Kyra(K-ee-rah) and the orc female is apparently not an orc at the start but an orc at the end

the controls on xbox:
X=map
Y=quests
D-pad down=Unsheath sword
LT=Sprint, and sneak, AND block

I'm not saying not to buy the game, but if you do, keep your receipt h

and what yahtzee said about the button press>action delay...that isnt your PC, mate, it's the game, it's like that on all platforms >.>andy
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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two play or not two play, that is the question.
And thankfully you have answered it Yahtzee
dex-dex said:
Right off the bat, you should have been worried since it is a sequel to two worlds.
and I am with you why the hell did fantasy turn so angry and cynical!
It changed when Tolkien wrote the TLOR, it's just taken video games a while to catch-up.
 

PunkyMcGee

A Clever Title
Apr 5, 2010
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Why did they make a sequel to a game a lot of people didn't like?

Also the Japanese body pillow call back in the credits cracked me up.
 

BlueInkAlchemist

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Jun 4, 2008
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Nails continue to be hit on the head courtesy of Mr. Croshaw.

Last time I'd heard of Two Worlds, it was back when Graham from LRR donned Yahtzee's hat to take a swing at X-Blades. Naturally, I wasn't expecting good things from a sequel to a game described as "abysmal" but market penetration in the entertainment industry is all about sequels these days, right?
 

Sticky Squid

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What's with Yahtzee talking about sweet things then ruining the image with something unappealing?
 

Onyx Oblivion

Borderlands Addict. Again.
Sep 9, 2008
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That magic system sounds interesting to me. I'll pick this up after the inevitable, and hopefully swift, price drop.
 

Jandau

Smug Platypus
Dec 19, 2008
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First of all, Yahtzee, dearest, there is the option of switching between three equipment presets (melee, ranged and magic) on the fly, meaning that you can not only switch from your bow to your sword&shield with a single button, you can have that same button switch your entire outfit. Sure, ridicule the game for its flaws, but don't ridicule it for your inability to read the manual or PAY ATTENTION DURING THE TUTORIAL (which explains the concept).

That being said, the game is poop. Terrible interface, sluggish controls, laughable "plot", atrocious voice acting, lack of remotely interesting characters (the one dude that seemed like he might be fun gets killed off in the first 15 minutes of the game), overly complicated magic system which also happens to be the least effective combat method and is also made needlessly annoying by the poor interface, the list goes on and on.

But don't bash on it for not letting you switch equipment, because it does.
 

Artemicion

Need superslick, Kupo.
Dec 7, 2009
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I'm kind of surprised you didn't stick with the mage, even with that card changing mess.
I've found that when you can pick out of the three classes, the mage is almost always the way to go with Western RPG's (Dragon Age, Fable II, et al.)

There's just something about lighting people on various flavors of element that never really gets old, as opposed to a sword or bow class.
 

Xsist

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Srdjan Tanaskovic said:
Also go play Trine. The wizard seems to be a happy dude in that game
Well that isn't exactly "these days" now is it? And he has reviewed it already ^^ http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/892-2-5D-Hoedown
 

Squilookle

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Wow, that inventory system sounds terrible- didn't anyone playtest it?

And is it strange that the bit that turns me off fantasy games is the whole... fantasy part? Give me a good medieval Robin Hood game and I'd be in seventh heaven, but ohhh... you just had to put spells in it, didn't you... It's like post apocalyptic games feeling that they just have to have mutants for some arbitrary reason. Did Mad Max 2 need mutants to be the best post apocalypse film ever made? No it bloody well didn't!
 

Racecarlock

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As always a wonderful review. I only wish I could spot the quirks of western RPGS, but I don't play western RPGS, so that might have something to do with it.
 

Prof. Monkeypox

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2 Worlds 2? I can't say I expected that in the least.
Oh well. Anyway, what turned me off Fallout 3 (or one of) was that, after I'd done a hundred side quests that all sounded very urgent and relevant, I'd wander around Megaton for a bit, trying to pick up the next lead, only to remember that my object screen still had story quests on them. I never felt like I was ever in a story...
Mass Effect had a similar problem (though, not as bad), which I felt was toned down in ME2, but almost too much.
 

Buizel91

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Aug 25, 2008
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HankMan said:
two play or not two play, that is the question.
And thankfully you have answered it Yahtzee


I'm actually surprised he did this game, i would of thought he would stay well clear lol.

Excellent video! XD

P.S "Getting on my plums" is my new phrase...
 

duchaked

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Dec 25, 2008
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ah man I was hoping for Bulletstorm but ah well this has been fun
just sitting here, chilling with a Coke and burger and then ZP appears and...
crap I need to study =.= laterz
 

solidstatemind

Digital Oracle
Nov 9, 2008
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A return to form. Very entertaining, even if I knew the game was rubbish before I watched the vid. I particularly like the bastardization of the game name in this one.
 

Hungry Donner

Henchman
Mar 19, 2009
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Sylocat said:
I saw which game he was reviewing, and before I even clicked on the link, I thought, "Oh, this is going to be bloody."

Surprise, surprise...
Ditto.

I keep hearing from people that it's better than the first one, that's hardly a rousing compliment.
 

Wolfram23

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I have an LP on TW2 going on right now. 6 episodes in if anyone's interested. I made a post in the Reviews forum but here's a direct link
http://www.youtube.com/user/TheWolfram23?feature=mhum

It's pretty decent so far, but nothing spectacular.

I have to say though... Yahtzee clearly should try sticking to console games if he can't figure out a few simple concepts. Like, the game allows you to have 3 outfit slots. So no you don't have to swap shield and sword, each with a hotkey. You just switch to the "melee" outfit.

And the story is explained pretty well in the first hour or so once you talk with the Prophet. Of course it does side track as you go from there, but it's an RPG that's pretty much the point. Do small quests to advance in big quest.
 

lumpenprole

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I played this at PAX and didn't hate it, but I only got a few minutes with it. I'm glad for this review, because bad AI drives me crazy.

When I was talking to the team, the first thing they said was "We've completely redesigned everything from the the ground up. We're not even the same company as the first game!" to which I said "Well, why did you bother to use the name? It was a terrible game." and the guy sighed and said "Everybody asks that."

Cracked me up.
 

CopperBoom

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I am guessing that the second world is 12 hours in.
I am glad he is at least very candid if a game is not finished.

I had no interest in this game and now I especially do not.
Thank you ZP for giving me a few laughs while informing my opinion of this game... or at least the potential of me buying it.
 

Calibanbutcher

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WTF, Yatzhee reads Cracked.com articles?
My world is shaking.

BTW:
It seems, that throwing fire and lightning is not as much fun as it seems like.
Oh, well, back to inFamous approach:

"TIme for a BBQ lads.
*ZAP* *ZAP* ZAPPITY-ZAP*
MUHAAHAHAHAHHAAH BOW BEFORE ME LOWLY PEASANTS, FOR I AM YOUR GOD"
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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duchaked said:
ah man I was hoping for Bulletstorm but ah well this has been fun
just sitting here, chilling with a Coke and burger and then ZP appears and...
crap I need to study =.= laterz
This. I thought that at the very least he would review Bulletstorm for the whole flaming tits [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/107995-Bulletstorm-Dev-Honors-Yahtzee-With-Priceless-Gift] thing. Oh well. I too am in agreement that Two Worlds II is a clunky name.
 

CrazyCapnMorgan

Is not insane, just crazy >:)
Jan 5, 2011
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You wanna know how many times I replayed the 4:26 mark? I lost count after a full 5 minutes of laughing my ass off. Priceless, Yahtzee me ol' mate. Although the magic system you described does sound rather unique. Still, saving my money for Skyrim. But, if I do get bored enough, I might give this a look-see.
 

AssassinJoe

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HankMan said:
two play or not two play, that is the question.
And thankfully you have answered it Yahtzee
dex-dex said:
Right off the bat, you should have been worried since it is a sequel to two worlds.
and I am with you why the hell did fantasy turn so angry and cynical!
It changed when Tolkien wrote the TLOR, it's just taken video games a while to catch-up.
That's still no excuse for emo wizards!

OT: Yeah these kinds of role-playing games seem to be trying too hard. It feels like there's almost too much stuff in them.
 

Aeshi

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Was kinda hoping it'd be Bulletstorm but oh well.

The Doodle-God style magic thing sounds interesting but doesn't Magicka (Magika?) do the exact same thing?

Calibanbutcher said:
WTF, Yatzhee reads Cracked.com articles?
My world is shaking.
Where does he mention/reference Cracked?
 

Madara XIII

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Xsist said:
Well thats because we are hardcore yahtzee! We don't smile... we are seriously really super serious!

(Good review btw :p I feel your hatred for magic!)
How anyone could be serious in a game where as quoted by Yahtzee "Enemies keep wondering why they spount wooden limbs out of nowhere" is beyond me

I'd laugh my ass off the whole time XD
 

Noko

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There is two buttons to change weapon kits on the fly, so you can actively switch between three sets (r/t key i think it was)
 

Madara XIII

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Aeshi said:
Was kinda hoping it'd be Bulletstorm but oh well.

The Doodle-God style magic thing sounds interesting but doesn't Magicka (Magika?) do the exact same thing?

Calibanbutcher said:
WTF, Yatzhee reads Cracked.com articles?
My world is shaking.
Where does he mention/reference Cracked?
Bulletstorm?...Bulletstorm...hmmm OH!

You mean that FPS rip off of Wild 9 for the Playstation 1 with even more cheesier dialoug than the 90s?

Yeah....I played it and was PISSED!! At least Duke Nukem is original

Seriously this is where Bullet Storm got it's idea!!! Torture your enemies. Yeah um it's already been done 12 YEARS AGO!!!





I'm sorry but the rage I am feeling from BulletStorm is beyond belief.
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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Why do people take his reviews seriously? I would never buy/not buy a game based on his reviews being that his job is to ***** about minor issues in games. I will buy Two Worlds 2 as i liked the first one, it had its issues but did some fun stuff and had great magic in it. Unlike Oblivion which i was dissapointed with when i played it.

Maybe he will review Bulletstorm next week? I rented it from Blockbusters on monday, played it for about 6 hours and now completly bored of it. Still got it until Sunday.
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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AssassinJoe said:
HankMan said:
dex-dex said:
and I am with you why the hell did fantasy turn so angry and cynical!
It changed when Tolkien wrote the TLOR, it's just taken video games a while to catch-up.
That's still no excuse for emo wizards!
They're just frustrated because they realize they'll never be as cool as Ian Mckellen
 

drunken_munki

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voorhees123 said:
Why do people take his reviews seriously? I would never buy/not buy a game based on his reviews being that his job is to ***** about minor issues in games. I will buy Two Worlds 2 as i liked the first one, it had its issues but did some fun stuff and had great magic in it. Unlike Oblivion which i was dissapointed with when i played it.

Maybe he will review Bulletstorm next week? I rented it from Blockbusters on monday, played it for about 6 hours and now completly bored of it. Still got it until Sunday.
Why do you hate the fact that people might agree with him? Move along mate.
For me, I am filled with GLEE for watching a funny review of a game I've never heard of and will never play, regardless of this vid. Thank you ZP.
 

C.S.Strowbridge

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Aeshi said:
Was kinda hoping it'd be Bulletstorm but oh well.

The Doodle-God style magic thing sounds interesting but doesn't Magicka (Magika?) do the exact same thing?

Calibanbutcher said:
WTF, Yatzhee reads Cracked.com articles?
My world is shaking.
Where does he mention/reference Cracked?
It the end credits.
 

Popido

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Bulletstorm is horrible!

Shooting zombies as space marine Jack Black in post-apocalyptic wasteland while flock of scores and achievements cover your screen is not that original nor oldschool!
 

Something Amyss

Aswyng and Amyss
Dec 3, 2008
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I was hoping they'd call it Two Worlds: The 40th Day.

It worked for Army of Two Two.

Did they seriously not cover the "Two Worlds" bit? I've never played the full games. The first because the demo was bad and it was poorly reviewed. The second because I was pretty sure if it had any quality to it they probably wouldn't have attached the "Two Worlds" franchise to it.

Not that it's inherrently bad, but there's a purpose to sequels, and since it's only vaguely related to the first at best, the other option is they wanted to create association by franchise. And while you can get some good franchises that way (GTA, for example), when the first game is bad it makes the title a deterrent. you probably wouldn't name your innovative new retelling of Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet" "Springtime for Hitler 2."

Also, one of the things that amuses me most about the "sidetracked by sidequests" deal is how readily your character will go along with them in most games. It's one thing if they're tangentially related, but once you're doing a favour for the local peasant whose friend asked you to help so she would offer you the key you need to use to get into the dungeon where the mayor's son is locked up, so you can rescue the son and get the mayor to give you the golden flute of okanon, which will free the fairy spirit who will tell you how to find her long lost lover, the only person who has ever successfully cast the grand spell "Deus Ex Machina" so you can bypass the defenses of the enchanted castle, rescue the princess, so her father will offer to help you in battle against the great king of Slightlyevilopolis, it starts to get a little silly.
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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drunken_munki said:
voorhees123 said:
Why do people take his reviews seriously? I would never buy/not buy a game based on his reviews being that his job is to ***** about minor issues in games. I will buy Two Worlds 2 as i liked the first one, it had its issues but did some fun stuff and had great magic in it. Unlike Oblivion which i was dissapointed with when i played it.
Why do you hate the fact that people might agree with him? Move along mate.
For me, I am filled with GLEE for watching a funny review of a game I've never heard of and will never play, regardless of this vid. Thank you ZP.
When did i say i hate people that agree with him? I find the reviews funny and mostly agree with what he says, especially when he points out negative parts of a game. But i dont think people should base the choice whether to buy a game based on what he says mainly because he only concentrates on the negative - which is his job.
 

fgdfgdgd

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o_O I was reading Cracked just before I watched this...I am significantly more freaked out now.
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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Yahtzee Croshaw said:
Two Worlds II

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews the sequel to One Worlds One... err Two Worlds One... eh whatever.

Watch Video
I've broke my rule again good old Yaht and I'd like to say Thank YOU SIR!

I've had a fair amount of gamers attempt to jam this game down my throat, and I must admit the previews looked nice, the main person who was pimping the dog crap out of this game refused to play it himself.

So I watched your review with out playing the game ^^. Thank you for saving me rental money. It might have been good, seeing as how you played it on a lap top, but truthfully I really, really, really needed a good reason, or at least any reason to skip this game. God bless and keep you ^^.
 

Azaraxzealot

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well Fable isn't cynical and gritty.... gotta give it that at least

anyways, i was looking forward to the bulletstorm review, not some game that was shit before and is just as shit now.
 

Kebabas McSauce

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I'm surprised he didn't mention the awful crafting system (especially where you break down equipment). One of the reason I quit playing the game after roughly 10 hours in is because my fingers hurt like FUCK from doing "right click for drop down menu , left click to select break down equipment , left click again to confirm selection" EVERY FUCKING TIME for every item. And you'd usually get about 100 useless pieces of weapons and armor after a few fights which you kinda need to break down to upgrade your armor/weapons. Boy is that fun without any shortcut to do it in one click.
He could've made a lot of fun of the so called "sneaking" mechanic in the game which was so pathetic it made me laugh. It only works on enemies which are facing away from you , so you'll occasionally see enemies staring into a wall with a sign "please stab me in the back" over them.

Also you get one shotted most of the time if you don't hold down block during the whole fight.

Still , the game is pretty fun If you can get over the awful inventory system...
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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Madara XIII said:
Aeshi said:
Was kinda hoping it'd be Bulletstorm but oh well.

The Doodle-God style magic thing sounds interesting but doesn't Magicka (Magika?) do the exact same thing?

Calibanbutcher said:
WTF, Yatzhee reads Cracked.com articles?
My world is shaking.
Where does he mention/reference Cracked?
Bulletstorm?...Bulletstorm...hmmm OH!

You mean that FPS rip off of Wild 9 for the Playstation 1 with even more cheesier dialoug than the 90s?

Yeah....I played it and was PISSED!! At least Duke Nukem is original

Seriously this is where Bullet Storm got it's idea!!! Torture your enemies. Yeah um it's already been done 12 YEARS AGO!!!





I'm sorry but the rage I am feeling from BulletStorm is beyond belief.
Maybe not everyone played wild 9. It's the same odd ball reason all the net dorks had to whine about the Lion king being ripped off some obscure anime no ones ever heard of or cared about.
 

Tulks

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Why all the surprise that he reads Cracked? I'm pretty sure it's not the first reference he's made, and certainly no less likely than, say, TVTropes. Humourists need reference material...
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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I was hoping that he would review Bulletstorm,I really want to see what he thinks about the shout-out (the tits on fire gun).
 

Bors Mistral

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Nice, as always, but...

Yahtzee, if your laptop is made from a rotting horse head, maybe you should get one (laptop, not rotting horse head) that's actually capable of playing games... or just go desktop.
 

Canadamus Prime

Robot in Disguise
Jun 17, 2009
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All that talk about dark fantasy made me think of Quest for Glory which I've recently dug up out of the ancient annals of gaming. Now there was a lighthearted fantasy adventure/RPG type game. Oh Sierra where art thou?
 

Dark.Kantian

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Largely accurate. All the failings of Two Worlds I, now on a larger scale and making even less sense.
 

Danpascooch

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Apr 16, 2009
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Srdjan Tanaskovic said:
............................a laptop?

seriously?


you play a demanding game on a laptop?


...........*shock*


Also go play Trine. The wizard seems to be a happy dude in that game
My laptop can handle a lot of games on high settings.

Then again it is sporting an i7 and other powerful features (including a 100% vestigial dedicated sound card with 1gig dedicated to sound) but still, don't underestimate laptops.

I'm in college, so it's great to have something I can bring to class yet plug in at my dorm and use like a desktop with an external mouse and keyboard.

I love my 18 inch monster laptop.
 

RJ Dalton

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I wrote a story with a happy wizard in it. In fact, very few of the wizards in my stories are angsty. Usually, they're just dicks.
 

L8NEYET

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EvetscipE said:
Two worlds 2, while being vastly superior to it's predecessor is still a TERRIBLE GAME! The controls are beyond stupid, the story is pathetic and the animation is lazy!

The story changed sevral times, names change and the main villain is alive in this despite being killed in the end and your sister's name changes in the same game from Kyro(k-eye-rah) to Kyra(K-ee-rah) and the orc female is apparently not an orc at the start but an orc at the end

the controls on xbox:
X=map
Y=quests
D-pad down=Unsheath sword
LT=Sprint, and sneak, AND block

I'm not saying not to buy the game, but if you do, keep your receipt h

and what yahtzee said about the button press>action delay...that isnt your PC, mate, it's the game, it's like that on all platforms >.>andy
I purchased this game used while waiting for something better to come out and I like Western style RPG's. And after playing Two Worlds Two for about 4hrs I realized that the game was going nowhere. I agree with everything Yahtzee said and actually think he was being nice for giving this awful game more credit than it deserves. The movement was clunky, the inventory system sucked, the combat system was even worse, and the plot was nowhere to be found and don't get me started with the shops. This is why I like Elder scrolls so much! You see something you like, you kill the bastard! At least I got my money back, unlike the poor sap who purchased the game before me.
 

gellert1984

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But Yahtzee didnt cover the most important aspect, do they switch back and fore between normal modern english and ye olden times theeing and thouing english, mid sentence. That really ended the first game for me, just gave me a headache.
 

Castle_Bravo

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Great review. While every Zero Punctuation has been poignant, if not unnecessarily harsh, this weeks Two Worlds 2 is a return to form. It seems like the last few vids have been less 0y and more punctiony, but this is a return to fast paced wit without breath. Bravo.
 

LegsyWegsy

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to be honest Yahtzee would seem like the sort of person whod enjoy Magicka, it seems more or less right up his street
heres hoping he does a review
 

RyQ_TMC

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Well, it is true that today's fantasy seems to be "darker" by default, where witches are bitches, but actually on the protagonist's side, every king is either a power-hungry prick or an idiot in shiny armor, and every knightly order is a military arm of an oppressive religion dedicated to stomping down on free thinkers... I remember that was something new and exciting to me when after exposure to Forgotten Realms I had my first run-in with The Witcher saga, but then again, (1) I was 13 at the time, and saw any attempt at "darkening" as cool and edgy, and (2) it didn't take me too much time to notice that they've basically exchanged one set of tired cliches for another.

But then again, what isn't "darker and edgier" these days? The fascination with zombies and vampires seems to have reached an all-time popcultural high, no music band ever comes out without completely black outfits and eyeliner (whatever happened to the guys who just wore jeans and old t-shirts?), and pretty much every reimagining of an old franchise is marketed as "darker and edgier". It's not just about fantasy and not just about videogames.
 

Adam28

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Another great review, the now darker gloomy RPGs actually are starting to put me off them all. Guess that will change Friday with Pokemon B/W, don't think that could be any more of the opposite of what these darker games are like.
 

KelsieKatt

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Srdjan Tanaskovic said:
you play a demanding game on a laptop?
I don't think I'd even call it a demanding game. I'm still running on my Geforce 8800 from 4 years ago and have no trouble running the game almost maxed out at 1680x1050 with consistently at least 25FPS or better.

That's hardly cutting edge. He must have a really slow laptop.

And as other people have mentioned, it allows you to swap between 3 different entire sets of weapons and armor. That was Yahtzee's own fault for not paying attention to the tutorial or reading the instructions.

Granted, as far as the actual game, it has a fair number of problems outside of that and it could be a much better game, but his complaints seem to be more his own fault.

I personally found it to be a huge improvement over the original and I think people should give it a shot, just don't expect a lot.

The best way I can describe the overall gameplay and art style is the Fable and Gothic games mixed together. The combat seems to take some inspiration from the hack n slash style of Fable, and the heavier RPG stats of Gothic. It strikes a weird balance between the two, if you're hoping for something as smooth/actiony/responsive as Fable, it's a bit behind in that regard. And if you're hoping for something with more RPG depth the likes of Gothic or other more hardcore-ish RPGs, it's not as deep, but the controls work a lot better. Basically, it's the middle ground between a mix of the two. It's kind of interesting and fun if you can ignore the rough edges, but still could use good amount of polish on the concept to make it a solid game. it's still a *huge* improvement over that pile of shit first game though.

I'd recommend most people if they're curious either give it a rental or wait until the game is available at budget price. Not remotely worth more than that, but it's still kind of entertaining.
 

DarkhoIlow

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Dec 31, 2009
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I played the game half way through and I can very well say regarding the storyline which is a tangled mess.The inventory is as well very chaotic and quite challenging to shuffle through to find the right item/ingredient that you need.

So couldn't agree more with you Mr.Croshaw,great review yet again!
 

Levethian

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Nov 22, 2009
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He said in his column that he had been playing Two Worlds 2 so this isn't surprising. Couldn't get into TW2. It should be reasonably simple to execute an RPG story which isn't time-specific or immediately desperately urgent and instead draws you in over time. Beginning the game in desperate fashion always makes the pre-real-quest lull difficult.

SO disappointed with Bulletstorm. Thought it was going to usher in some kind of FPS revolution.
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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Aug 8, 2007
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I'm surprised, I was expecting this week's video to be Bulletstorm. And you never reviewed Hawx 2 or Metro 2033, I thought you would like those games.
 

Cousin_IT

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Feb 6, 2008
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Puff the magic dragon is a rather bitter sweet song if you get to the final verse
 

UltraXan

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Mar 1, 2011
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Yet another satisfying review. I don't know what is with this episode, though... I think I got hypnotized by the video and before I knew it, it was over...
 

geizr

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Oct 9, 2008
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Say what you want about JRPGs, at least they create new and different worlds with each one(admittedly, the characters are often just paper-thin cut-outs). Western RPGs = Lord of the Rings or D&D(which is just another form of Lord of the Rings), almost every single time. (Don't get me wrong, I love Lord of the Rings, but it's not the only possibility for a fantasy setting.)

As for the bleak, dark settings, you can blame that on the gamers that always complained about games that were colorful and happy and gave praise to all the dystopian, monochromatic color-palette games as being realistic.
 

Aptspire

New member
Mar 13, 2008
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eh...numerical keyboards ctrls never work for me
also, that poor 'credits' imp :p
 

MowDownJoe

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Apr 8, 2009
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2W2 is actually fully aware it doesn't deserve a sequel. Hell, it makes alot of jokes about Two Worlds 1.
 

Tempest13

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Aug 23, 2010
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Hey! We feel the same about open world Western RPGs! I almost never get them because of that, seeing as the one time I picked up New Vegas I ended up saying fuck the tutorial, murdered everyone in town, ganked their stuff, and went on to do battle with every NCR, Powder Ganger, and irradiated bug in sight. It's fun, but one break and I lose all motivation to attempt the story.
 

TheDudeEM

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Mar 1, 2011
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I have to agree with Yahtzee about how most Western RPGs tend to have so much side missions that you forget the main plot. When I was playing Oblivion, I had actually forgotten what the purpose of the main mission was while doing the five other 'main' side quests (assassins guild, fighter's guild, etc).

Loved it when he started playing with the Two Worlds Two title.
 

Diegolomac

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Jan 28, 2009
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Actually, there is a recent fantasy game with wizards that isn't grim: Magicka. You could only get it less grim by playing the theme for "Monty Python and the Flying Circus".
 

RyoScar

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May 30, 2009
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Good to see that South Peak released a decent game. You certaintly will not be strapped for content. The game is worth the money for what you get.
 

GonzoGamer

New member
Apr 9, 2008
7,063
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AssassinJoe said:
OT: Yeah these kinds of role-playing games seem to be trying too hard. It feels like there's almost too much stuff in them.
But that's they way rpgs should be. There should be so much stuff that most players don't get to see everything... at least not on the first playthrough. That's why so many people like rpgs: they're a great value.

Personally, I like when a game stuffs "too much" content into itself, rpg or not. It's one of the things that makes San Andreas so damn endearing.
 

mercifulwrath

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Feb 18, 2011
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I was thinking about saying something about the cross until he mentioned it. Didn't know Yahtzee read Cracked.
 

Fenrar

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Feb 10, 2008
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I personally had fun with the game.

I played it on the pc with a 360 pad and left up and right on the dpad lets you quick change between 3 equipment sets, wouldnt it have been a better idea to equip a sword and shield in 1 and a bow on the other so you can just switch with them?

Personally I used it for a fighter set a ranger set and a magician set lol
 

Exterminas

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Sep 22, 2009
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Why did they even make a sequel? The previous product was bashed to Narnia.
I can understand stuff like "Fallout 3", Hell even "Godfather 3" where the previous stuff was worth it's money. But this is ridicoulus, like "World War II 2 - Now with more Mustach Power!"
 

subtlefuge

Lord Cromulent
May 21, 2010
1,107
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0
theCerberus said:
THE VIDEO DOESNT WORK, PLEASE HELP!!!
ALL OTHER VIDEOS WORK ON THE SITE!
As unnecessary as shouting is, I am having the same problem.
 

DoomBlackDragon

New member
Sep 13, 2008
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While I do agrea Two worlds 1 - 2 had alot of prental. The idea was nice and all other then forcing you to play the bounty hunters and not letting you make your characters. The game felt like the spent more time in money on the graphics then the more important stuff lile Gameplay and Story. Yes the gear upgrading system was a great idea. Able to combine two items into a slightly more power items. Poison really feels like poison in their world not this lame monior not really threating dots.

It was a shame they did not do a better job with the two worlds 2. That could have been a great fanticy rpg if they could stop being so damn lazy with their coding.

Then again beside Dragon Age. What was the last good rpg fanticy in the last 10 years. The only thing that came close to good was Morrowind. Which was ok/decent at best.
Do not say oblivion. That game was so bloody terrible. I know it was. I played Daggerfall and Arena back when they where first launched. Sadly those games did not age so well. Infact the remakes are just plan broken and no where near as good as they where on launch. I hoping Skyrim might be a step two the good old days. Having people actully rp and not just smash the exc button on dialog. Hit yes I do it and then let a damn quest marker do all the bloody work for you.

It like the new gamers are just to lazy to even read the quest and rp anymore. They want the game to do all the work for them. Like Oblivion did with both fallout 3 and fallout new vegas. At less New vegas was not afraid to punish you for being an idiot and not reading. Oh look a death claw that I can not hurt at this low level. I am so dead.
 

Mumorpuger

This is a...!
Apr 8, 2009
606
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It still sounds exponentially better than the first one, which I which I had never wasted time with...
 

Popido

New member
Oct 21, 2010
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Magog1 said:
Maybe not everyone played wild 9. It's the same odd ball reason all the net dorks had to whine about the Lion king being ripped off some obscure anime no ones ever heard of or cared about.
They abused my childhood hero god damnit!!
 

SinisterGehe

New member
May 19, 2009
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theCerberus said:
THE VIDEO DOESNT WORK, PLEASE HELP!!!
ALL OTHER VIDEOS WORK ON THE SITE!
You know this wont get you any help... No wait it will...

Wait few hours and try again... And don't ever do something like this again.


On topic:

I though ZP couldn't speak that fast when he said hes version on of the "title".
Heart warming and reminder of why I don't buy games till they hit the 3 games for 20euros shelf in my local gamestop.
 

loc978

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Sep 18, 2010
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This game... actually sounds better than I had first thought, from this video. A good majority of the things Yahtzee was complaining about here are things I tend to like in a game. Complexity and a requirement for perfect accuracy are pluses, as far as I'm concerned.
...now this one's on my bargain bin roster.
 

Omikron009

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May 22, 2009
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That comment about the Cracked article at the end has me so pleased. When I saw the upside-down cross it was the first thing I thought of.
 

SuperSamio64

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Nov 4, 2010
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Good review as ever. Oh, and I just found out Yahtzee is from the same town as me. Obviously he moved to australia to distance himself from its mediocrity.
 

cube5

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Jan 15, 2011
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As Cracked (in its collective glory) and zero punctuation are possibly my two favourite things on this so called interweb, I am glad to see some kind of crossover/acknowledgement or whatever...
 

roostuf

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Dec 29, 2009
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Hmm thats strange i got two euro today and two of my friends lost two euro between them.

Your right where does the second world come from?
 

Sixcess

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Feb 27, 2010
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Utterly hilarious. I had to rewind one part because I was laughing too hard at the incredibly evil voice bit to hear what he was saying.

It's a game I've little or no interest in playing, but for laughs per second this is Yahtzee's best in ages.
 

Denamic

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Aug 19, 2009
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Onyx Oblivion said:
That magic system sounds interesting to me. I'll pick this up after the inevitable, and hopefully swift, price drop.
It looks interesting on paper, but it's actually really ...drab.
The customization is basically just an illusion.
You'll just end up combining element+bolt/spray and spam the same spell while backpedaling all the time.
And actually using magic is kind of a pain.
It's often less powerful than melee, enemies often are resistant to your main element, it's slower than melee, and it's limited by mana.
The main use of magic that I can think of is to buff your stats by a percentage, which is actually pretty nice.
Still, alchemy is more powerful, lasts longer, is quicker, requires much fewer points to be useful, and ingredients are abundant.
 

wtfclowns

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Apr 15, 2009
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I don't know, the magic system was pretty good once you got into it. Any game that lets me fire a fireball that explodes and summons 6 stone golems on contact is okay in my book. :p
 

unnamedsos

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Dec 30, 2009
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it was a fine game ; i enjoyed playing it :D
there was some new stuff in it and playing with magic cards and find combination was fun!
although magic was support class for me and end up healing and boosting :D also making chest high walls so that NPC get stuk behind it ;-)
loved water walk spel was pretty good for dark dungeons :D " search it up"
 

Neferius

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Sep 1, 2010
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Squilookle said:
Wow, that inventory system sounds terrible- didn't anyone playtest it?

And is it strange that the bit that turns me off fantasy games is the whole... fantasy part? Give me a good medieval Robin Hood game and I'd be in seventh heaven, but ohhh... you just had to put spells in it, didn't you... It's like post apocalyptic games feeling that they just have to have mutants for some arbitrary reason. Did Mad Max 2 need mutants to be the best post apocalypse film ever made? No it bloody well didn't!
What are you talking about! They had a midget mounted on top of a braindead giant.

And the mutagen agent was organic methane derived from pig-dung D:
So they had somehow managed to make Cars that could run on the stuff, and the movie appropriately ends with a chase-scene ...at least they'd stopped exploiting those poor wallabies for means of transportation :p
 

vato_loco

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May 24, 2010
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Awesome, Yahtzee reads Cracked.com too.

Also, what is this game? I haven't even heard of it.

Also, Yahtzee, congrats on that Battlefield mention!
 

MaxRaine

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May 1, 2008
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I find it odd you had to lower your settings so much, granted you were on a laptop but even my bad computer could play 2W2 on high setting without having FPS drops. I was actually utterly amazed with how well coded that engine was.

I did find it funny how I played the good guy, who didn't minds petting puppies and walking old ladies across the street, yet sounded like I'd rather rip the throat off of people at any given moment =P

Never got through the game though, found other games more interesting after a while. Though mostly it was due to a glitch in a quest that forced me to reload way back, before I had done a ton of things, because the guy I had to talk to refused to spawn.
 

Gaming King

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Apr 9, 2010
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Another piece of crap nobody cares about. That wasn't even really a review. He didn't really say whether he liked it or not.

YAHTZEE. REVIEW SONIC COLORS FOR THE Wii! IT'S MERCIFULLY SHORT AND SOMEONE needs to thrash that overrated TURD.
 

Buck Wilde

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Jul 15, 2009
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Good man, appreciated the Cracked reference at the end. I disagree with the point about sidequests though. He does bring up good points but I see it more of a matter of how enjoyable the gameplay is. Sidequests by nature don't relate to the main plot and serve mainly to lengthen a game but as a whole it comes down to the how good the game itself is, if it leaves you wanting to do sidequests because you enjoyed the whole experience and want to prolong it.
 

YodaUnleashed

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Jun 11, 2010
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That was one of the funniest Zero Punctuations I have ever watched. The combination of his critical dry humour and somewhat befuddled commentary on the games events really merged to create a creamy stream of goodness.
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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Aug 8, 2007
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I am surprised at anyone being surprised that he was going to review this, given that he said he was playing it a couple of extra punctuations ago, and being that he seems to be arguing a fair deal about how smaller companies are doomed to failure in the face of the AAA industry.

This game is the perfect example. The game engine is actually very pretty, but one only needs to play a little bit to find out that that's where half the time and budget went. Once you get past that, you see numerous little flaws (ok, incredibly glaring ones), whether it's the animations or the voice acting, or the general lack of polish to what are some fairly good ideas. It's a game that seems to show exactly how hard it is for a small company to fine tune its ideas to compete with the big ones. Even Fallout New Vegas (which is by and large buggier and way uglier than this) manages to outshine it while running on a ten year old engine simply because the developers had a lot more time to hone the ideas and make them enjoyable.

As it stands and as a RPG fan I actually dig this game, but I do it despite its many, many flaws. It might be my "root for the underdogs" tendency shining through.
 

FallenMessiah88

So fucking thrilled to be here!
Jan 8, 2010
470
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Man I have enough trouble getting into RPG's as is. That also means GOOD games like Mass Effect 1 & 2. If all the stories I hear about this game being filled with bugs, glitches and bad design choices are true, then this is probably not going to be the game to finally turn me over.

On another note: Does anyone know the name of the music that plays during those ads for Drive Thru RPG that somestimes play after you've watched a video?
 

Iskaminien

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Mar 3, 2011
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That Cracked reference blew my mind (I created this account right now only so I could say that).

But I'm just a little freaked out by the thought that I'm completely predictable. I mean, how did he know his audience would know about the cross from no other place than that very Cracked article?
Very, very impressive, mr. Yahtzee.
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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Aug 8, 2007
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Hmmm. Yahtzee made some pretty big mistakes in this review. The game isn't nearly as bad as he suggests.

For example. You can change the voice when you create your character, your not forced to use the one voice. I ran everything on full settings with the latest DX and had no issues. Not even one slowdown. Which leads me to believe yahtzee is full of shit.

The only part of this review he got right was the inventory system. The stories extremely easy to follow, and I never lost sight of the overarching storyline, or how things connect. I'd suggest that Yahtzee is suffering from some disease thats eating away at his mind.

I'm pretty disappointed with this video. The games actually VERY good. Its not amazing, but it's certaintly above average. Getting 7-8's from most review sites. So yes, disappointing Yahtzee. Seems like all you did was screw around with the game for a bit, then pick out random points to ***** about without seeing if they where actually broken.

Buy a new computer.
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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It was a very long week waiting for Bulletstorm (or Marvel vs. Capcom 3) (or Killzone 3) (or LittleBigPlanet 2) to be reviewed and I was entirely disappointed when I saw he would review Two Worlds 2. Not that Yahtzee isn't funny when he does 'mediocre' games like this, it's just that he's practically the only good critic (some Users are nice but Users aren't very schedule-y or reliable) I follow (no one else despises Modern Warfare 2 and thinks Dead Rising 2 and Just Cause 2 are hordes better than Grand Theft Auto IV and Bad Company 2 is OK but not the best shooter and Crysis is WAY overrated and he games primarily on the PC and I can go on and on about how Yahtzee shares so many opinions about gaming with me) I follow and I was awaiting for him to review a more... popularized game than this. That said a game's release and Yahtzee's review of it usually involves an achingly long lapse, but I'd expect at least LittleBigPlanet 2 to be reviewed by now? Please, Yahtzee?

To get on topic, this review is really funny. I think I'm gonna have to suspend using a bow and arrow when I play Dragon Age 2 (or any WRPG in that case) because I'd be laughing too hard imagining the enemy go 'OH, LUUUCY! SPROUTED NUTHER ARROW!'.
 

Stabby Joe

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Jul 30, 2008
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I have yet to try this "simply" because it's had the most obscure random release in the UK in recent memory:

Ok so first the game was up for release in October 2010 but was stopped due to technical issues. Instead it was pushed back for November before an attempt to coordinate releases elsewhere. January rolled around and was pushed back again until the it's end BEFORE being pushed back again in early February. Everything seemed fine until, I kid you not, their shipment ship crashed. Game was pushed back until the end of February until the developers realized a stock/quality problem. Enter March and for yet another unknown reason the game was now said to be initially available via online orders...

...and then it was pushed back again until this Friday... for now.
 

Vault101

I'm in your mind fuzz
Sep 26, 2010
18,847
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0
I just checked systm requirements, they dont seem all that demanding
 

Vault101

I'm in your mind fuzz
Sep 26, 2010
18,847
0
0
Selvec said:
Hmmm. Yahtzee made some pretty big mistakes in this review. The game isn't nearly as bad as he suggests.

For example. You can change the voice when you create your character, your not forced to use the one voice. I ran everything on full settings with the latest DX and had no issues. Not even one slowdown. Which leads me to believe yahtzee is full of shit.

The only part of this review he got right was the inventory system. The stories extremely easy to follow, and I never lost sight of the overarching storyline, or how things connect. I'd suggest that Yahtzee is suffering from some disease thats eating away at his mind.

I'm pretty disappointed with this video. The games actually VERY good. Its not amazing, but it's certaintly above average. Getting 7-8's from most review sites. So yes, disappointing Yahtzee. Seems like all you did was screw around with the game for a bit, then pick out random points to ***** about without seeing if they where actually broken.

Buy a new computer.
uh its a reveiw, meaning HIS opinion meaning theres no RIGHT way to do it...and the "right" way to do a reveiw does not mean being more in line with your opinion

besides remember its suposed to be entertaining not always a fair reveiw
 

Squilookle

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Neferius said:
Squilookle said:
Did Mad Max 2 need mutants to be the best post apocalypse film ever made? No it bloody well didn't!
You obviously didn't see the sequel. They had a midget mounted on top of a braindead giant.

And the mutagen agent was organic methane derived from pig-dung D:
So they had somehow managed to make Cars that could run on the stuff, and the movie appropriately ends with a chase-scene ...at least they'd stopped exploiting those poor wallabies for means of transportation :p
Was I talking about the third one? No. Does everything you said there have anything to do with what was being said? No. I was talking about the 2nd film. Second film! You know- 'The Road Warrior' as the US calls it?

Besides even if they were in the 2nd one, a midget riding a braindead tall guy -weird as it may seem- is still plausible. They're not some mutated version of an existing creature that needed a billion-to-one transformation from nuclear fallout.
 

daxterx2005

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Dec 19, 2009
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you'd think with subtitle syndrome being everywhere the game wouldnt be called
"two worlds II" but instead "Two Worlds: *insert something hipster here*"
 

feauxx

Commandah
Sep 7, 2010
264
0
0
i haven't played two worlds one so when i saw two worlds two at a game shop recently it confused the hell out of me :p
great review again!

[small]lol @ 01:24 where the shirt is mirrored[/small]
 

Mordereth

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Jun 19, 2009
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Exactly like the first game!

Precisely why I didn't by this one, either.


And you are mistaken, Yahtzee; the reaction time wasn't delayed, they just captured about half as many animations as they fucking needed, the most annoying part of the 1st game.
 

Distortionfile

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Feb 21, 2011
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I think if you are really serious about, or honestly even want to pretend to be serious about reviewing PC games, you need to seriously consider using hardware that meets the recommended requirements. Saying that it ran like ass really isn't a valid review comment, and honestly doesn't belong as a part of a review at all. Now, if you were complaining because your hardware did meet the recommended requirements, and still the game ran bad, that would certainly belong. It's like saying "one of my complaints about halo is that my X button keeps getting stuck, causing me to walk around Tea-bagging when I should be fighting".

Funny as always. And I'll have you know that it's pretty much your fault that I have installed windows on a second hard drive so I can take up my love of games once more. Linux just isn't a game platform, even if it's much better at being a computer.
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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Vault101 said:
uh its a reveiw, meaning HIS opinion meaning theres no RIGHT way to do it...and the "right" way to do a reveiw does not mean being more in line with your opinion

besides remember its suposed to be entertaining not always a fair reveiw
Well his review could be wrong when he says something that is total bullshit. Now I cant say for sure about the PC version but on the ps3 versions many of the problems he mentioned were not there. Take the weapon swap one, you have 3 full sets of equipment that can be swapped out with a single button click. The left, up, and right arrows on the d pad.

Honestly after since iv played the ps3 version most of his complaints seem to stem from a really terrible pc port. Thats the only reason I could understand for half of his complaints.
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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My baby gets mesmerized when I lockpick. He will turn and watch every time... even while feeding! If he's crying, it soothes him.

Fair review. I play on PS3 though, so there's no graphical downgrade or button to action lag. There's also no problems with weapon swaps. I did have to turn the sensitivity down on the analog stick though as it was very floaty. No worries though, it's done and it all works now.

The other thing to mention is a few glitched quests:
Can anyone tell me: "What's behind the door?" Three playthroughs and I still don't know.
Also, be careful about "Black Marketeers" and "Unsolicited Guests". The latter is the reason I've not yet got 100% in the Thief guild. Grrr.
 

Nincompoop

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May 24, 2009
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You are not equipped to review videogames if you do not have the proper hardware. Well, it's all the same for me. I watch Zero Punctuation for fun.
 

Rhatar Khurin

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Aug 14, 2008
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The "5" kley on the numeric keypad is quite different than the "4" key as it has a little ridge on it so you know it's the "5" key. Same as the "F" and the "J" key :p
 

Rhatar Khurin

New member
Aug 14, 2008
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s69-5 said:
My baby gets mesmerized when I lockpick. He will turn and watch every time... even while feeding! If he's crying, it soothes him.
What i find soothes young children is Star Trek next gen, the gentle thrumming in the background and the voice of Patrick Stewart calms even the most savage of babies
 

Strife17O7

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May 24, 2009
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About what I expected, honestly...
...and somewhat disappointingly(of the game, not the review).

Regarding the review, it seemed less negative than I'd have expected. Which is fine.
 

subtlefuge

Lord Cromulent
May 21, 2010
1,107
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0
Oh spinning white circle of doom, how you continue to taunt me for a solid 6 hours of not being able to watch this video for some asinine reason.
 

lucky_sharm

New member
Aug 27, 2009
846
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I'm not sure about the "brooding, angsty mage" thing that you're familiar with in fantasy settings. Dragon Age had plenty of magic happy characters, Morrigan and Anders specifically.
 

Xennon

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Apr 24, 2004
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This game did quite well because there was a lot of hype and good reviews (I'm pretty sure all of which was paid for by the developers) that hailed it as the best RPG ever and the best thing since Oblivion and Fallout 3 etc (not that Oblivion was any good).

Go track down some of the reviews that people wrote about this game. They're so biased they're funny. Anyway, at the end of the day, the game wasn't terrible, but I got bored after about 6 hours due to the stupid graphics blur (which you couldn't turn off without editing config files. I could have done that, but frankly it shouldn't have been there to begin with!) and the terrible combat. I went as an archer and arrows were just SO SLOW! I can throw darts faster than arrows traveled in that game... even the 'fast' arrows.

Voice acting was truely awful and the story didn't grip me at all. It was just a very average play experience. I think they're doing a 3rd one tho :-/ Maybe it will progress to decent this time. At least they're on an upward trend.
 

Viggo

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Oct 18, 2008
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Do not buy this game unless you want a good opportunity to waste your money. I bought the Royal edition and I whole heartedly regret it.

Jandau said it best with,

Jandau said:
the game is poop. Terrible interface, sluggish controls, laughable "plot", atrocious voice acting, lack of remotely interesting characters (the one dude that seemed like he might be fun gets killed off in the first 15 minutes of the game), overly complicated magic system which also happens to be the least effective combat method and is also made needlessly annoying by the poor interface, the list goes on and on.
 

Johkmil

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Apr 14, 2009
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Having given the first game a good try, I actually found it decent enough. Flawed, but decent. The initially interesting system of combining similiar weapons quickly broke the game, though. A mid-level weapon, if common enough, could be combined into doom-bringing death machines. Add a bazillion poison gems, and dragons go down in one hit. (With an atrocious animation.)
Still, it was an ok game if one were into the genre, and slightly less buggy at launch than Gothic 3.(Which did not allow me to play for more than five minutes befor crashing. God damn you, guru.)

This would probably only enter my collection as a method of wasting time until the launch of Skyrim, though. And that post is already filled by Oblivion.

I really can't see what the problem is in losing track of the main story by method of side-quests in any game, actually. Oblivion is the best game to use for that; several hundred hours played, and I'm not even half way through the main campaign. There are so many (generic) dungeons to raid first. So many quests to take. With the level-scaling guaranteeing total freedom of exploration.
Risen was horrible in that regard. Every quest brought one closer to the end of the game. Dreadful.
 

Roggen Bread

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Nov 3, 2010
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I'm surprised he did not mention the horse-controls. Seriously. THE HORSE!!

However this was a downgrade from Two Worlds I
In 2W1 I went in to the lands capital, took out my bow and went nut(after the guard refused my bribe for catching me stealing - he started!), reducing the popularity of the fucking CAPITAL to zero.

In 2W2 you couldnt do this, because many NPCs are invulnerable or something.

And, yet again - THE HORSE!
 

jono793

New member
Jul 19, 2008
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Surprised you didn't mention the allegations of bullying and questionable PR practises surrounding 'Two Worlds Two' reviews. A topic for Extra Punctuation perhaps?

http://www.destructoid.com/allegations-sleaze-treachery-a-tale-of-two-worlds-194521.phtml
 

Necromancer1991

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Apr 9, 2010
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In spite of complaints I liked the magic system, by the end I was summoning a rain of anvils to create an orbiting shield destroying all in my path (looking at an interface and going "OMG TOO COMPLEX!!!11!!!" isn't a good reason to avoid the funnest play-style of all). Frankly compared to the last game this game is WAY WAY better, the crafting system is simple and deep (my kind of system) and the amount of customizing you can do is mind-blowing. Overall I enjoyed my time with the game., was it by any means perfect, f**k no, but I wasn't pissed I spent money to play the game.
 

GeorgW

ALL GLORY TO ME!
Aug 27, 2010
4,806
0
0
I loved the Cracked reference, I read that article as well!
Nice review as always, but your last ones were better. Still a good one, you're coming back to true form!
 

Vohn_exel

Residential Idiot
Oct 24, 2008
1,357
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0
I love playing a mage, so I hate it when games force you to go through tons of menus or give you non regenerative HP so even if you ARE a mage, you have to be a warrior too. That said, I still wouldn't mind trying out Two Words(too whirled?/reference to ZP and Unskippable crossover) 2.
 

jas11262009

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Feb 10, 2009
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Magic system is well made if your attention span exceeds that of a cat noticing a string during a hunt. Combat system takes a bit of practice and the shield issue does annoy me. The graphics are excellent if your computer wasn't made in the early 90's. The NPC's are dumb as rocks but will kick your ass if you fuck up. If you actually get into the story it's very good as those "mediocre" quests do actually have meaning most of the time. I too found his voice strained and unrealistic as if the character was voiced by a guy who really wanted diversity in the characters and tried to whisper/talk quietly in order to achieve said goal. I always thought that the locks sounded like the cocking of a shotgun. I noticed that you didn't mention the alchemy system. I imagine because it's an excellent aspect and we simply can't have any positive content in your sad existence. (I mean it, you having to play those awful games would make me want to run to a foreign country and start anew.)
 

Zudarkness

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Feb 24, 2010
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Wow they made a very crappy sequal to a very crappy game in the first place. No really why the hell do you have to do a check list routine to just kill something... usually you think you die,

what a crappy sequal
 

Ghengis John

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Dec 16, 2007
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Squilookle said:
Wow, that inventory system sounds terrible- didn't anyone playtest it?

And is it strange that the bit that turns me off fantasy games is the whole... fantasy part? Give me a good medieval Robin Hood game and I'd be in seventh heaven, but ohhh... you just had to put spells in it, didn't you... It's like post apocalyptic games feeling that they just have to have mutants for some arbitrary reason. Did Mad Max 2 need mutants to be the best post apocalypse film ever made? No it bloody well didn't!
Zudarkness said:
Wow they made a very crappy sequal[sic] to a very crappy game in the first place. No really why the hell do you have to do a check list routine to just kill something... usually you think you die,

what a crappy sequal[sic]
Exterminas said:
Why did they even make a sequel? The previous product was bashed to Narnia.
I can understand stuff like "Fallout 3", Hell even "Godfather 3" where the previous stuff was worth it's money. But this is ridicoulus, like "World War II 2 - Now with more Mustach Power!"
Strife17O7 said:
About what I expected, honestly...
...and somewhat disappointingly(of the game, not the review).

Regarding the review, it seemed less negative than I'd have expected. Which is fine.
.
Dead Raen said:
I'm kind of surprised you didn't stick with the mage, even with that card changing mess.
I've found that when you can pick out of the three classes, the mage is almost always the way to go with Western RPG's (Dragon Age, Fable II, et al.)

There's just something about lighting people on various flavors of element that never really gets old, as opposed to a sword or bow class.
Having played the game I can tell you this: It's pretty darned good. Yahtzee's only real complaint was that he didn't understand the quick set selector, where in you can put a whole set or armor and weapons on a key to swap at any time. I want you to run your fingers across your number pad 5 and 4 keys and tell me if they feel the same. And I'm happy with that said he wasn't really all that negative. Always assume he's blowing something out of proportion. You DON'T have to do a crappy check list, but it would have been nice if you didn't have to manually sheath and un sheath your weapon. If you don't actually pull your weapon out your character starts doing unarmed attacks. Which suck and will make you die. They apparently don't kill people? But most people/animals/monsters/demons don't care about your well being so good luck with that. And it's easy to forget you have to pull the weapon out. It's a minor nuisance but it's not as game breaking as he makes it sound.

That magic creation system is pretty neat. Say you have a fireball attack. You'd make that by combining fire and projectile cards. Add a powercard and now you have a massive fireball attack. Add a homing and a richochet card and now you have a massive fireball that kills something then bounces to another enemy and kills it too. Add a summon card and suddenly you have a massive burning hell hound that tracks down your enemies for you. Take away the power card and he's now a tiny burning hell hound. Take away the dog/summon card and add a wind card, put two of the powercards back in, take out the homing card. Now you're making fire tornados that suck enemies into them.

wtfclowns said:
I don't know, the magic system was pretty good once you got into it. Any game that lets me fire a fireball that explodes and summons 6 stone golems on contact is okay in my book. :p
Exactly. This guy. He gets it.

The game has some wonderful writing that turns RPG conventions on it's head. You can fail a lot of quests just by doing exactly what the quest tells you to instead of using your actual wits. There is a quest for instance where you see some men building a house. One man tells you that they're having trouble building the house because baboons keep stealing all his tools. He thinks maybe they're building something. Outlandish? Yes. But this is typical RPG math right? Go to point a, kill baboons 1-15 and return to point b for reward X. Only it's not your typical RPG. You might notice that this quest seems weird, perhaps even implausible. Or that the men working on the house are all armed. You might dismiss this as typical video game stuff. Turns out they were bandits and when they saw you riding up they pretended to be working. The guy you talked to was being robbed and told you something so stupid he thought nobody that was sane or non-retarded would ever believe it, hoping you'd notice they were armed and would help him. So dead baboons later. Quest failed. The game is full of these moments where you shouldn't make the default "good" or "bad" choice (not that there aren't moral decisions) but the smart one, use your own intelligence and perception and not just follow the guide like an automaton. And I liked that. If I gave you more examples I'd ruin them for you. Sufficed to say this was a good idea and the game deserves some positive recognition for it. they use your learned RPG/video game logic against you. The first time you spot one of these for yourself, go off the rails or just do what you'd expect to do in real life and get "quest complete" it's incredibly rewarding.

Also, the main character sounds like JC Denton. It's not him it turns out, but darned if he isn't doing a heck of an imitation. Also, I liked something Yahtzee pointed out. The armor shop will indeed end you. Once you start buying stuff, you can't stop. It's all so good and you want to match right?

I'm not saying it's a great game. It has it's flaws But it's actually pretty fun imho. You may not agree, but before you judge it crap give it a rental first. Maybe you'll hate it maybe you won't. I rented it because I heard this one was better than the sequel and I walked away with a positive, non-sponsored opinion.
 

Ghengis John

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gellert1984 said:
But Yahtzee didnt cover the most important aspect, do they switch back and fore between normal modern english and ye olden times theeing and thouing english, mid sentence. That really ended the first game for me, just gave me a headache.
There is one guy who talks like that in the second game. He is in a tavern. The main character makes fun of him.

Madara XIII said:
You mean that FPS rip off of Wild 9 for the Playstation 1 with even more cheesier dialoug than the 90s?

Yeah....I played it and was PISSED!! At least Duke Nukem is original


You were saying?
 

PopcornAvenger

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Jul 15, 2008
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Mystery as to why in the hell they thought it merited a sequel. TW was a huge, festering turd and a criminal waste of money. Horrible, horrible game. It was educational, though, at least for me - it taught me to never, ever, again, make impulse game buys. Or at least promise myself that :p

I suppose the company has invested too much in their engine or development time, and felt a second whack at this excrement-filled pinata might result in a few nuggets of gold. Or enough money to plague the world (or worlds) with yet another drink coaster, Two Worlds III!

Odd you called it a "Western RPG" - I tend to equate most of those with quality, like many of Bioware's titles. I suppose it is, when compared to JRPG's and the like. Just doesn't sound right. Maybe ERPG would be a better fit, and warning.

What, it sold well? Where, in Germany? Oh, the shame of having contributed to the emergence of a second title.

Yes, still po'd over buying it (TW 1) . [/RANT]
 

rickicker

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Oct 26, 2010
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Soooo...basically...you hated western RPG because despite of the epic scale of what the diddly hoo haa is going on, there is no sense of flow in the storyline, and yet you also hated JRPG because despite of the flow of storyline, everything is skittles and unicorns and singing dancing babies with googly eyes and hair that Don King would go green with envy.

Oh Yahtzee, you poor, poor bastard. Don't worry, a sandbox game worthy of your glee would come along soon enough. >:3
 

VladimirSirin

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Jul 8, 2010
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I'm enjoying it so far (on the Xbox, for the record).

The game itself seems not to take itself seriously at all....while it would be nice to have a more coherent plot, the side quests make it all worth it. From murdering someone's aunt so you can sell off her closet full of medicines, to delivering a severed head to a necromancer, to fighting a host of absurd opponents in gladiatorial combat....it's just goofy and fun.

The magic system is good, but you only really get the ability to do anything worthwhile when you level up talented tongue, wisdom, get a bunch of +x willpower modifiers on your equipment, and can actually use a decent staff in the element of your choice. But there is nothing more rewarding than launching five homing poison bolts from an arch necro staff on a settlement full of varn.
 

Fitzcaraldo

Member of three secret societies
Feb 2, 2011
145
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Another pleasingly scathing review. while I enjoyed his Mindjack one more, it was still as hilarious.

OT: I was looking in my fridge last week and guess what I found: A jar of BRANSTON PICKLE! When I saw it, I just stood there, shocked for ten seconds.
 

teebeeohh

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Jun 17, 2009
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it's funny how the covers symbolizing western rpgs are all from bethesda(and 2 worlds 2). does nobody else do rpgs these days
 

swenson

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Sep 5, 2009
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You should review Magicka! I haven't played more than the beginning of the demo, but it looks entertaining. At the very least, it's non-dark fantasy in which you can light things on fire all over the place.
Aeshi said:
Was kinda hoping it'd be Bulletstorm but oh well.

Calibanbutcher said:
WTF, Yatzhee reads Cracked.com articles?
My world is shaking.
Where does he mention/reference Cracked?
At the very end, in the credits. The funny thing is that I did read that Cracked article too...
 

znix

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Apr 9, 2009
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Here's to seeing Dragon Age 2 getting a new one ripped in an upcoming ep.
hee-hee, nothing like a troll with an audience :)
 

spartan1077

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Aug 24, 2010
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Amazing review like alway, couldn't stop giggling. Also, I'm glad you read cracked :D That made my day.
 

masticina

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Jan 19, 2011
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The player in two worlds II, yeah.. I love that! Oh sure your father has been lost and there are nasties about. Oh right yeah I might look into it *yawn*

So good! It gives that game something special :)

But well mmm a bit middle of road still daring to go that path in this time. At least it is out before Skyrim hit the market!
 

TraderJimmy

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Apr 17, 2010
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daxterx2005 said:
you'd think with subtitle syndrome being everywhere the game wouldnt be called
"two worlds II" but instead "Two Worlds: *insert something hipster here*"
Woah. You win the grand prize for most ridiculously stretched definition of hipster of all time.

I thought the word had already lost all meaning and value, but you just went and sucked the last little dregs of life out of it right there.
 

lenneth

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Aug 17, 2008
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Complaining about Fantasy games being too dark and brooding. wonder what he thinks of Magicka
 

QtheMuse

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May 23, 2010
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I enjoy this game and the story and its a nice interlude while waiting for skyrim. And it does has a unique story, i never have played a game where orcs rescue you. Ever.
 

mlsq42

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Sep 19, 2009
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rickicker said:
Soooo...basically...you hated western RPG because despite of the epic scale of what the diddly hoo haa is going on, there is no sense of flow in the storyline, and yet you also hated JRPG because despite of the flow of storyline, everything is skittles and unicorns and singing dancing babies with googly eyes and hair that Don King would go green with envy.

Oh Yahtzee, you poor, poor bastard. Don't worry, a sandbox game worthy of your glee would come along soon enough. >:3
This was my question too. What exactly is a good balance? All side quests have to do directly with the main quest? Then they aren't exactly side quests...
 

hansari

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May 31, 2009
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Jandau said:
First of all, Yahtzee, dearest...ridicule the game for its flaws, but don't ridicule it for your inability to read the manual or PAY ATTENTION DURING THE TUTORIAL (which explains the concept).

That being said, the game is poop.....

But don't bash on it for not letting you switch equipment, because it does.
This is the reason I can't pay much heed to what Yahtzee says anymore. Maybe its the fact that he's juggling too much work to put the same effort into ZP he put in before. Maybe his reviews have always been this flawed and I only started noticing when he started commenting on games I too had played.

What once was edutainment is now entertainment. Shame so many fans have not made that distinction and still jump behind what he says.
 

ZingFreelancer

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Jan 4, 2011
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Here I was browsing available games on steam when I come over this:

Dino D-day
The year is 1942. Adolf Hitler has succeeded in resurrecting dinosaurs. The reptilian horde has trampled Europe and the Mediterranean. Can nothing stop the Nazi?s dinosaur army?

If that isnt the most wicked sick WW2 twist ever, I dont know what is.
 

daxterx2005

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Dec 19, 2009
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TraderJimmy said:
daxterx2005 said:
you'd think with subtitle syndrome being everywhere the game wouldnt be called
"two worlds II" but instead "Two Worlds: *insert something hipster here*"
Woah. You win the grand prize for most ridiculously stretched definition of hipster of all time.

I thought the word had already lost all meaning and value, but you just went and sucked the last little dregs of life out of it right there.

Cool Story Bro
 

RedBeta22

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Aug 28, 2008
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Probably been said already but I can't be arsed looking - Yahtzee needs to play Magicka.
 

beema

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Aug 19, 2009
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Hehe sounds like the first time I played Fallout 3. I was so quickly ensconced in sidequests (and the sidequests of those sidequests) that I completely forgot why I left the vault in the first place. Of course, if this were a jrpg, you'd complain it was too linear.

I think I attended a panel earlier this year with the guy who did the music for this game. Was the music at least good?
 

Darthlex

New member
Apr 21, 2009
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If he wants something satirical and hardly 'dark', then I suggest that he reviews "Magicka" because that is everything he asks for.
 

Brutuz

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Aug 25, 2009
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Don't complain if your laptop can't play a game, Yahtzee, seriously, it's not a bad thing about the game...It's only about your computer unless you have an high-end computer.
 

rawion

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Mar 7, 2011
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I know this is now a fairly "old" game by modern standards, but might I suggest Might & Magic's Dark Messiah. It has some of the best combat physics and enemy AI I've ever seen, with more creative ways to kill things than I care to count. It also has a bad enough story and conceited douches of npcs to make fun of. Its dirt cheap in the US and very underrated in my opinion so I think you should give it a go, but I'm merely a cat with a monacle and a large privata army of cultists eagerly waiting for the Dark Messiah to get the respect he deserves.
 

pseudosloth

New member
Mar 9, 2011
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Do you know anything about or would you consider reviewing Secret of Monkey Island: Special Edition on Steam?
 

Waif

MM - It tastes like Candy Corn.
Mar 20, 2010
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My dad picked up this game, and it does look kinda fun and interesting. It's really what you might expect from an action RPG. Spell cards aside, everything else is pretty easy to use. Spell cards require some bit of future planning, but usually the AoE's are what you want because they are in some respects, OP.
 

Jfswift

Hmm.. what's this button do?
Nov 2, 2009
2,396
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Huh, the lockpicking is loud? The sound cut out when that chick is trying to explain just "how to pick the damn lock in the first place" so .. i'm about to get ambushed and um... I can't hear her and I have no idea what i'm doing :p (xbox 360 version)
 

rickicker

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Oct 26, 2010
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mlsq42 said:
rickicker said:
Soooo...basically...you hated western RPG because despite of the epic scale of what the diddly hoo haa is going on, there is no sense of flow in the storyline, and yet you also hated JRPG because despite of the flow of storyline, everything is skittles and unicorns and singing dancing babies with googly eyes and hair that Don King would go green with envy.

Oh Yahtzee, you poor, poor bastard. Don't worry, a sandbox game worthy of your glee would come along soon enough. >:3
This was my question too. What exactly is a good balance? All side quests have to do directly with the main quest? Then they aren't exactly side quests...
Yup. And to be clear of that, check out "Radiant Historia", where just about every single sidequest contributes to the main plot at one point or another. I'm really confused if I should feel good about it or not. XD
 

Sifer2

New member
Mar 5, 2009
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Shouldn't have said anything about looking bad cause of your laptop. Totally blows your cred there. I don't understand why any reviewer would criticize a PC games graphics if they are not playing on max settings. I mean if the particular game is super demanding requirement wise then it could be worth mentioning that as a potential issue. But your on a laptop for goodness sakes. Then again Yahtzee is doing this for comedy an not to be a fair an balanced reviewer I suppose.

But yeah that aside game sounds like it has some issues. Though there are some other stuff I have heard about it that is pretty neat like a town builder.
 

Sabinfrost

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Mar 2, 2011
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Someone might want to tell him to breathe once in a while, not breathing is bad for your health.
 

Diegolomac

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Jan 28, 2009
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Erm... if he has a poor computer for gaming, and there is a console version, why didn't he just play the console version instead? I mean, a game like Witcher 2 I can understand, the console version doesn't even have a release date yet, but here he has options.
 

Exael

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Dec 20, 2011
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This game is not as bad as being made out. With the exception of voice overs and story length, everything is very playable and enjoyable. What I didn't like is that they took away the o' so many armor sets that were available in the first Two Worlds. And yes, I did like the first Two Worlds. I don't think it was any better than any other rpg at that time but I enjoyed it. Every game will have flaws and merits as well as every player has their style of play and personallity. If you want a perfect game in your eyes, then make one yourself. I'm sure after you're done the many of us can find many horrible aspects. Take these games for what they're worth... as games.